


In This Light

by Amberly, yourbloodlikewine



Category: Gundam Wing, Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drug Use, F/M, M/M, Original Characters - Freeform, Re-Written Characters, Sexual Assault Mention, Violence, child abuse mention, gratuitous author indulgence, homophobic parents, off screen murder
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-01-18 10:58:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 88,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12386715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amberly/pseuds/Amberly, https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourbloodlikewine/pseuds/yourbloodlikewine
Summary: Duo spent the last semester working in his older brother's coffee shop. He's resigned himself to a boring spring when a stranger appears, shaking up his entire life.Eli left home last fall, choosing to spend the last six months living out of his van on his travels from the Midwest to the East Coast. By the time he arrives at Ink's, the novelty of traveling alone has started to wear off. Still, the last thing he's expecting is to meet someone who's going to change all that for him





	1. Duo

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Hello! 
> 
> We are very excited to bring this to you all! Zillah (yourbloodlikewine) and I have been RP partners for over three years now, and we've always talked about turning our RP into fic. This is our attempt to do that! The verse we've created (affectionately called Cafe Verse) is one that is very close to our heart. We've written this in alternating first persons in the hopes of showcasing the variety of characters we have here, something that I've definitely struggled with. I hope all of you enjoy this verse, and the character we're sharing with you! 
> 
> As a note: When you spend three years working and writing a character, they're bound to change. The Duo and Trowa you see in this fic started in canon and have grown into something else. There will be some out of character elements, but I hope there's enough of their foundation that they're still recognizable as the ones you love. 
> 
> See the notes at the end for trigger warning notes! 
> 
> <3, Amberly

Solo bought the cafe when Nadia and I came to live with him. I don't think he meant to do both at once, and doesn't that sound just like a Maxwell? He brought us back from New Orleans to a cramped two bedroom condo, and I think we’d’ve complained if we weren't so glad to be away from our old man. I think part of me was glad to be away from the city period, after everything. New Orleans just didn't feel like home with just the two of us. So we came here to New York and did the high school thing, and we were cramped but happy. 

Then she was off in England doing her study abroad thing and I was working when I wasn’t in class, or painting. It was lonely. Nadia and I were independent, but we’d never been apart like that before. It ached. Lucky for me, Jake worked there too. We didn’t always get shifts together. The afternoons were so slow, and I was usually alone. When we were scheduled together it was great. We made a good team. He did the cute thing at the register and I made the drinks and we took in pretty good tips. I suppose it was weird that we get along so well, considering we shared a dorm too. It did a lot to ease the separation. As much as I love Jake, though, I was glad he wasn't there the day  _ he  _ came in. 

He didn't see me at first. I didn't see him either. The downside to being so short is I can't always see over the espresso machine. I heard him come in though. Caught a whiff of something clean and citrusy. There was drumming at the counter, the casual sound of someone waiting and trying to figure out what they want. 

“Welcome to Ink’s!” I chimed out as I finished the latte I’d been working on. “I’ll be right with you!” 

“Oh,” came the startled reply. “Oh my god.” He laughed, actually laughed, trying to peek around the bar at me. “You scared me. I didn’t see you there.” There were crinkles at the corners of his green eyes, dark curls tossed wildly over his forehead. 

“Yeah,” I drawled, rolling my eyes and flashing him a small, dimpled smile. “I get that a lot. No one can ever see me when I’m working bar.” His eyes got wider as I handed the drink off and stepped in front of the register. With most guys, if it’s not my height they take issue with, it’s the makeup. He didn’t seem too bothered by either, looking me over with obvious interest. 

“Hey there. How can I help you?” I was already trying not to blush as I played with the end of my braid. “Did you just want a drip?” 

“If you’ve got some dark roast left, I’d love a small coffee for now. And a blueberry muffin?” It was much too hopeful for a man his age. “And I was also wondering if you could help me with something else?” 

“Sure thing,” I smiled at him again, filling a small coffee and looking him over out of the corner of my eye. He was tall, dark curls a lot longer than I’d originally thought. Jeans, a half-buttoned flannel over white, and a guitar strapped over his chest. My first thought was hipster, but he seemed too sweet, standing quietly on the other side of the counter as I grabbed his muffin, raising an eyebrow at him. “You want this hot?”

“Hm? Oh!” He bit his lip. “Yeah. Hot enough to melt butter on, at least.” Taking his guitar off, he set it down, resting it on the floor with a small smirk. “So, the other thing...I'm relatively new to town and I'm looking for a place where I can start an open mic night. Do you know if you guys already have one of those here?”

“No,” I answered, sending a smile his way as I waited for the oven to ding. It was the last thing I was expecting to hear from him. “Not really. I mean, we've got one at school--the English Department. But it's once a month, and it's on campus. Ink's doesn't have anything like that. The owner's too busy to coordinate it.” Rolling my eyes, I set the muffin on the plate, setting it next to the coffee. I got exactly the reply I expected to: surprise. His eyebrows shot straight up as he rocked back on his heels, hands in his pockets. Then he leaned forward, setting his elbows on the counter, his chin resting in his hands as he watched me through thick lashes. 

"Do you think that's something the people here--customers and employees included--would like to see happen? Because, if so, I'd love to find a way to coordinate it.”

"We'd love it. Well--I'd love it, and I work the most,” I grinned, eyes warm. “The owner is...well. He works hard, and he tries, he's just balancing a lot.” Reaching under the register, I took one of the business cards from Solo’s supply, passing it over. “Here. Talk to him. If he gives you the green light, I can help.” I bit my lip, tucking a loose lock of hair over my ear as I ducked my shoulders. “I mean. If you want.” 

“Yeah, well, I guess I get it. It just seems a shame,” he murmured, dragging the muffin and coffee closer and sliding his credit card across the counter. Shrugging, he looked around. “This place is great. It's got so much potential, and this is a city of artists. Right now, we need art more than ever.” 

“He’s a really cool guy,” I promised as I cashed him out, completely unbiased in my opinion of my older brother. “You’ll see when you call him.”

“Yeah? Good.” He straightened, slinging his guitar case back over his shoulder. “Thanks for the card. And the coffee. And the muffin. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm sure I'm gonna need helpers if I get the go ahead, and I’d love having you on my team.” Grinning, I leaned back against the counter, braid back in my hands as I watched him eyeing a seat by the window, sunlight pouring over the table. 

“Cool. Well, I'll be here. So. You'll know where to find me.”

“Well, thanks again.” Smiling, he slipped the card in his wallet, then pointed toward the seat. “I'm gonna hang out for a little while, so if you get a break or anything, feel free to join me. Maybe we can run some ideas by each other.”

“Sure,” I laughed, biting my lip as I watched him. My cheeks were all lit up pink, and I knew it, turning on my heel as soon as he sat. I kept my composure until I made it to the back, then clapped both hands over my mouth, giggling wildly. He was gorgeous. Completely gorgeous, some artist poet from out of town who’d walked into Ink’s and wanted to convince Solo to do the very thing I’d been begging him to do for months. And he wanted to work together. I was ready to agree, and not just because I wanted the open mic night. I wanted to see as much of him as possible. 

I didn't know then just how much that’d end up being.

 


	2. Solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duo's big brother and the owner of Ink's, Solo, meets with the mysterious Eli to discuss the possibility of an open mic night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! This chapter is pretty self-explanatory, and also pretty short compared to some of the others we've written so far, so we decided to give you two in one week! While Duo and Eli are without a doubt the main characters of our story, there are several supporting characters who help breathe life into it as well, and one of them is Solo. We hope you enjoy getting a taste of his point of view before we move on to Eli. Thanks so much for reading. -Zillah

“Are you sure about this?” I asked, frowning at my over-enthusiastic baby brother. We were seated at a table in the corner, just the two of us. He was all excited about some guy wanting to do an open mic. Me? I wasn’t too sure. “I’'m busy, Duo. And so are you! I don't even want you working. You should be focused on school.” 

“Yeah, well I'm 18 and you're not the boss of me any more.” he shot back, rolling his eyes. Tucking a loose lock of hair behind his ear, he pursed his lips, shooting me a look I knew well. It was hard to feel anything but fond, even as he was working to ruin my life. Not that I thought he’d pawn the whole thing off on me. Duo wasn’t like that. If he wanted this, he’d go after it, regardless of what I said. And he’d be the one doing all the work. He stood there dressed all in black with red lipstick and eyeliner that I knew was perfect, even knowing as little about makeup as I did. It was strange to see him looking so mature--like he’d grown up without me noticing. 

“And I am sure,” he continued, black-painted nails drumming on the tabletop. “An open mic night is a great idea. Lots of business. You’ll like Eli, bro. He’s chill.” I didn’t think I particularly cared how chill Eli was. What I did care about was the slight flush on my baby brother’s cheeks as he mentioned him. Duo’d had his share of crushes--and his share of heartbreak--and given that it was his freshman year of school, I wasn’t too sure I wanted him having another one. Not that it was something I could control. Still, big brothers try. I frowned, opening my mouth to reply. The door was already opening, admitting the notorious Eli to the cafe whether I wanted him there or not. 

He didn’t look young. Looked closer to my age, dressed neat in a warm looking green sweater and dark jeans. The sweater brought out his eyes and set off the dark color of his curls, something I was sure he’d done on purpose. Bastard. I knew a little something about dressing to catch a younger man’s eye, and I wasn’t sure I could blame him. Not without being a hypocrite. But he lit up as soon as he saw Duo, raising his hand in greeting and making a beeline for him. I think part of me hated him for it at the time, the way he just walked right over and said hi without any kind of nervousness. If nothing else, Duo’s reaction was priceless. He flushed immediately, curling a loose lock of hair around his finger. 

“Hey,” he clapped Duo on the shoulder, squeezing warmly. “It’s good to see you again, Duo. And you must be Solo. Thanks for agreeing to meet with me.” Eli held his hand out for me, and I took it without thought, squeezing firmly. 

“Thank you for contacting me. Duo says you want to do an open mic?” I let go of his hand, gesturing to the chair across from me. “I’d love to have one here, but to be honest I don't have the time.” 

“You want some coffee? While you talk?” Duo was already moving back to the bar as Eli sat down, tugging his apron on. I nodded, watching as Eli did the same, eyes glued to Duo. 

“Sure, if you’re offering. Dark roast? Same as the other day?” He was casual confidence as he crossed one leg slightly over the other, ankle resting on his knee. It was clear he was struggling not to watch Duo, focus shifting to me. “Duo mentioned that you don’t have the time yourself, which is why I’d love to take on the responsibility of coordinating it if you’re willing to host it.” 

“Duo did, huh?” I asked, amused, watching as Duo brought a large mug of dark roast and a blueberry muffin over to Eli. He remembered my earl grey and biscotti, so I couldn’t be too mad. Especially since he got back to work as soon as we had customers come in, even if he pouted a little. If I’d known about the meeting ahead of time, I might’ve scheduled Jake to work, too. Typically I tried to avoid that—working with Duo’s best friend was a special kind of torture. I sipped my tea as Eli thanked Duo, then took a sip of his coffee. As he buttered his muffin, I launched into the topic, knowing my time was limited. 

It was an easy chat. I knew Ink’s needed something, and if Eli wanted to bring that something, I was ready to let him. It wasn’t something I was willing to let him do without pay, no matter how much he said he didn’t need compensation. He wanted a way into the community, and I wanted more business, and Duo wanted, well. Duo wanted whatever it was he wanted, and if I was honest with myself I didn’t really want to think too hard about it. The agreement we came to was fairly simple. An open mic twice a month, with music and poetry, and the opportunity for Eli to join my staff as an official event manager afterwards. Duo loitered as close to us as he could the whole time, even as he dealt with the slow trickle of customers. That, I thought, wasn’t going to work. 

“Duo,” I called out. “Can you go check the pastries? I have the front.” I didn’t even bother to look at him, smirking as Duo growled and slammed his way to the back, then turned my gaze to Eli. “Little brothers, huh?” 

“I actually wouldn’t know,” he replied, casual as he took his last mouthful of coffee. “I’ve never had a little brother.” 

“I’ve been taking care of Duo all my life. Especially since he came out--when he was 12. It was a rollercoaster, but I love him,” I smiled fondly, then narrowed my eyes at him, expression serious. “I hope you understand what I’m saying.” 

“Oh,” Eli replied, flashing a grin. “I hear you. He’s cute, but he might be a little young for me. Either way, I’m not going to go out of my way to encourage him, or break his heart. I hope that eases your mind some.”

“Honestly,” I laughed, “I’d be more worried about him breaking yours. Mostly? Just treat him honestly. He gets excited about new. Especially when they’re geeks like us. And he is young. Don’t string him along if you can’t be friends with him because of his age or something.” I paused, lowering my voice as I leaned in. “I’ve had a couple exes lead him on like that, and it just breaks his heart. I take that personal.” 

“You’re getting way ahead of yourself,” Eli laughed, the sound soft and good-natured. “We’ve met once. But I’ll keep it in mind if it makes you feel better, big brother. I’m an honest person. I know you don't know me, so you don’t have a reason to trust me, but I’m glad I have a chance to prove myself to you in the coming months. I’m more than fine being Duo’s friend. It seems like we have a lot in common. That’s all I’m planning. Really.” He grinned at me, expression more impish than I liked--he was too much like Duo by half. “You cut a hard bargain, by the way. Is there a contract you’d like me to sign? In my own blood, for good measure?” 

“No, that’ll do,” I couldn’t help but grin back. “And listen, no hard feelings. I know my brother, and as friendly as he is, he is choosy about who he’s actually friends with. I’m not trying to imply more than that. Just trying to make his life as easy as possible.” 

“I understand. I’m sure I’d feel the same way if I was in your position.” He snorted. “It’s just been a while since I got the talk.” It was hard not to like the guy. He wasn’t earnest, but he was sincere, smiling across the table at me like I wasn’t lowkey threatening him. I opened my mouth to tell him that, but didn’t get the chance. Duo chose that moment to stomp back out, clearly done with my shit. He dropped the inventory count on the table, then crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Are you done?” He asked petulantly, drawl more pronounced. “You could’ve just asked me to butt out, you know.” 

“You didn’t miss much,” Eli smiled at him. “Besides, I think we’re about done here.” 

“Awww, kitten,” I teased, standing up. “What a face.” I towered over him, something I knew he hated, and leaned in to kiss the top of his head. “We’re done.” 

“You’re an ass,” Duo growled and crossed his arms over his chest, flushing hard. The look he shot Eli was exasperated and embarrassed. “Big brothers are a pain.” 

“Kitten, huh? Can I call you that too?” The asshole’s grin was wicked, and in that moment I wasn’t sure I liked Eli so much after all. Especially not with the way Duo blushed at the question. They weren’t really friends, not yet, but the look on Duo’s face was enough to tell me he wanted to be. He wanted that and a whole lot more. Holding back a sigh, I clapped him on the shoulder, squeezing warmly. 

“That’s a question for you. I’ll let you reply. I need to get upstairs and get started on my grading.” I smiled at Eli. “Nice to meet you, Eli. I look forward to working with you.” I left to a chorus of “laters,” trudging my way into the back of the cafe and up the stairs to my apartment. It was quieter than it had been in years, now that Duo was living on campus and Nadia was doing study abroad in England. On the one hand, it was nice. It meant I could focus on my classes, grading papers and writing my thesis. On the other...I was used to the noise. And tonight it left me with way too much space to think. To replay the blush on my baby brother’s cheeks, the sideways looks he and Eli shared. Maybe neither of them wanted to admit it, but there was a whole lot more than friendship there. All I could do was sit back and see what happened. 

And yeah. Maybe part of me was wishin’ I had someone of my own to share looks with. And if that someone happened to be the blond ballerina sharing a dorm room with my little brother, well. That was just between me and myself, wasn’t it?


	3. Eli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Hello! I am super excited about this update, as it introduces us to a new character—Eli! Not that we haven’t met him already—just that now we get to see things from his point of view. There are no specific warnings for this chapter. Just Eli being Eli, and Duo being Duo. 
> 
> As a note: Eli is 100% all Zillah, and she’s done a great job with him!
> 
> Anyway. We’ll have one more “short” chapter after this, and then we’ll be going to weekly updates. Thank you guys for reading and caring about our story!!
> 
> <3,  
> Amberly

I found myself back at the cafe again. I tried justifying it to myself in a million different ways, but the real reason I was there was undeniable, and that reason was Duo. Everything came back to Duo lately. I couldn’t seem to leave him alone, or the idea of him that had been budding--no, blooming in me--since the day we’d met. He was too young for me, probably, but I didn’t care. There was a light about him, something irresistibly warm and enticing, drawing me in and making me weak. Duo was moving poetry, and poetry was my biggest weakness--second only to beauty, anyway, and beauty he had in abundance. That long, dark hair. Those big, violet eyes. How could I leave him alone? How could I not feel helplessly, even fatalistically, drawn to him? He might end up being my downfall, but god, I was ready for it, wherever that fall ended up taking me. Today, I was just here to panhandle, and I figured the cafe would be a safe place to do it. Solo and I had made an arrangement, so he wasn’t going to try and run me off, probably.

I set up on the sidewalk outside the cafe, trying to act casual and not at all interested in what was going on inside as I opened my guitar case, lifting the cherished instrument out. It was a cold day, the kind people generously call “crisp” or “blustery.” Even dressed as I was in a warm canvas coat, dark blue jeans, and sturdy boots, a black beanie shoved down over my hair and ears, my fingers were already chilled as I tuned my guitar, lips pursed in deep concentration. I suppose I should’ve been used to it, coming to New York by way of Michigan, and in a way I was, but I would’ve much rather been inside.

A short while later, I heard the cafe door open. Figuring it was a customer leaving, I didn’t pay much attention, but then Duo was there, at my elbow with a to-go cup of coffee and a warmed blueberry muffin on a plate. I couldn’t help the way I blushed then, how it went straight to my ears, lips curved with surprise and delight. He looked sweet and shy and infinitely kissable.

“You don’t have to do this for me every time I’m here, you know,” I laughed, reaching out to take the coffee and the muffin, guitar gently bumping against my chest, hanging from its strap around my neck. “But it’s real sweet of you. I wasn’t sure you’d be here, actually.” Okay, I was lying and I knew it. He probably did too, for that matter, but I hoped I wasn’t unwelcome. I was a little nervous that I was being too obvious, that the open mic night wasn’t the only thing I wanted from Ink’s. “It’s okay if I set up and play out here, right?” Unsure and stupidly hopeful, I caught my lower lip between my teeth, worrying it anxiously as I awaited his response.

“I figured it’d save you a trip in,” he said, shrugging in a way that was supposed to look careless. The way he bit his lip and curled a lock of finger around his hair betrayed him, told me he cared more than he let on, and that came as a relief, honestly. I just hoped I wasn’t reading him wrong. “It’s fine,” he continued, reassuring me further. “How long have you been playing?”

I took a seat on the curb then, stretching my legs out and patting the space beside me in invitation. “Oh, I’m not complaining,” I teased, running my eyes over him. The whole not being obvious thing wasn’t working out for me, so I figured I might as well go for broke. “Besides, I think I like you being my errand boy.” I smirked, chasing a bite of the muffin with a sip of coffee and humming thoughtfully. “To answer your question, I’ve been playing since I was fifteen. That's when my moms started paying for me to take lessons, so...about nine years?” Moms, plural. Yeah, you heard me right. I loved them like crazy. They were strong, generous women, and I owed who I was to them in every conceivable way.

Duo snorted at my pathetic attempt at flirtation, but he wasn’t walking away, so I took it as a good sign when he sat down next to me. “Oh. That’s a long time. I don’t really...play anything.”

Strumming a soft, reverberating chord, I scooted closer to him. I couldn’t help myself, angling my body toward his until our knees were nearly touching. “Why not? Are you interested?” It was easy for me to offer, easy to smile at him as though we’d known each other a lot longer than we had. “If so, I’d love to teach you some basics.”

“Oh, I just…” Duo bit his lip again, making it hard not to look at his mouth. God, I wished he’d stop doing that. The distraction was dizzying, but somehow I managed to hear what he said next. “I’ve always been so focused on art. But it could be cool. To learn. I mean, if you have the time and shit. I know you’re busy.” Another careless shrug, another darting glance, a flicker of shy eyes through enviously long lashes.

“Yeah. I do.” It slipped out of my mouth without hesitation as I reached up to adjust the beanie on my head, tucking a wayward curl beneath it. I had nothing but time for him. “I actually offer lessons sometimes, just for a little extra cash on the side, but I wouldn’t charge you.”

“Sure, I’d love that. I can--offer free coffee.” His crooked smile dimpled his cheeks as he looked up at me, and I could’ve kissed him for nothing more than being the most heart-stopping, knee-knocking, breathtaking thing I’d ever seen. I wanted to write songs about him.

I almost said something inappropriate on the heels of that thought as I absently strummed my guitar, but ultimately just nodded and smiled. “Oh yeah, keep ‘em coming. At least this way you’ll be getting something out of the deal, since I’ve had--what? Three free coffees already?”

We talked a little more, teased each other about his roommate Jake and how he and Duo were so close they practically slept on top of each other. I made a bad joke about wishing I could see it, watched him blush as I desperately tried to backpedal, apologizing because I was sure he already had a dozen boys his own age lined up outside his dorm room wanting dates, and I was old. Yeah, I actually said that. Not my finest hour, but it wasn’t my fault I couldn’t think straight when I was around him. He stammered something brief in response and I had the good sense to shut my mouth, finally. Eventually, I offered to play something for him, but he had to get back to work. His body arched as he gathered his hair, tying it up in a messy bun.

My throat went dry as I looked away, watching him out of the corner of my eye, imagining myself touching him, making him arch like that. He was offering to come back out on his break, and that was enough to make me swallow and clear my throat, enough to make me bold enough to reach out and brush the small of his back with my thumb, feeling that tantalizing arch. “I’d like that,” I finally managed, my voice sounding a bit strangled. “I’ll be out here playing for a while, so come back and see me when you can. Maybe I’ll come in for a sandwich or something. Thanks again for the coffee. And the muffin.”

His eyes were wide but warm as he leaned into my touch. “Sure. That’d be cool. It’s kinda chilly out here anyway. You’ll have to warm up.” He stood, his departing body heat leaving me in a cold draft. “Just let me know if you need anything, ‘kay?”

“Alright, kitten.” Maybe it was an unfair tease, but it suited him, Solo’s old nickname for his little brother, and whether Duo liked it or not, it was going to stick. I winked as I stood, preparing to play for the masses and following him with my eyes as he disappeared back into the cafe, knowing against all hope that I was in for a world of trouble.


	4. Jake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, everyone! In this chapter, we learn a little more about Duo's best friend and roommate at college, Jake. For as much as this is a love story about Duo and Eli, it's also a story about the secondary characters who inhabit this world and really make it come alive, and I love that Jake is a part of that. Jake is the second of four OCs I'm introducing in this world, and his relationship with Duo is an extremely special one. They have a unique friendship that I'm excited to share, and I can't wait for all of you to see more of it, as well as where Jake's journey takes him later on. 
> 
> For a bit of background: when I first brought Jake into one of my RPs with Amberly, he was never supposed to stick around. He was supposed be a background character, a secondary character that could be brought into scenes to liven things up on occasion (because, at that time, we only had two characters we were writing together, Kai and Duo--kind of hard to believe now that we've got seven active characters each). As you can see, Jake had other ideas. He insinuated himself into play, took on a life of his own without my permission, and made it clear that he wasn't going anywhere. Not that I mind. To this day, he's become one of my absolute favorite characters to write. I feel kind of silly saying it, but there's a lot I admire about Jake, and I frequently find myself wishing I was more like him. He has a lot of qualities that I aspire to, and I hope you can see why as you learn more about him. 
> 
> Anyway, this chapter should have been published over the weekend, but distractions happened...I apologize for the delay and hope it's worth the wait! As always, thanks for reading. -Zillah

I watched Duo and Eli from the counter with mixed emotions, wondering when my best friend was going to bring the guy in to meet me. For as much as Duo had been talking him up lately, he made Eli sound like some kind of guitar-playing god, but he just looked like another hipster from where I was standing. Still, I was trying not to judge him on style alone. God knew my own fashion choices were questionable to others more often than not. Anyone who didn’t like what I wore could go fuck themselves, as far as I was concerned. Anyway, I’d been dying to get a good look at Eli ever since Duo had first told me about him. It felt like it’d been forever, but that’s just because I’m nosy, and a hopeless busybody besides. I mean well, I really do! I just don’t like not knowing things, you know? I don’t think anybody does, really, but at least I admit it. Not that that makes me special or anything--all I’m trying to say is I know my flaws.

Finally, Duo came back into the cafe with Eli in tow. It was about damn time. The way they were looking at each other was already making me queasy--probably because I was jealous no one was looking at _me_ that way, for starters. I had a crush that wouldn’t quit on my chemistry TA, Luke, and there was no way in the world he was ever going to notice me. I was just some little blond nobody who sucked at all things science, ballet being my true passion. I was happy for Duo, though. I really was. He was glowing in a way I’d never seen before, violet eyes all starry. Granted, I hadn’t known him that long--just since the beginning of the semester, when we’d both been assigned to the same dorm--but it felt like I had. It felt like I’d known him forever. I wanted him to be happy, and it was clear that Eli was contributing to that as they undressed each other with smoldering eyes, Duo’s hips swaying in a way I knew wasn’t accidental. Their banter as they approached the counter was sickeningly adorable.

“You already saved me in your phone as ‘Kitten,’ didn’t you?” Duo said, feigning exasperation. “Solo hasn’t called me that regularly since I was about six. He gets a kick out of making me blush.”

Eli retorted with a smile, all cool, easy flirtation. I’ll admit I could already see why Duo liked him. “Maybe. It’s so fitting. And I bet he isn’t the only one who gets a kick out of making you blush. Seems like a lot of fun to me.” I caught him in the act of ogling Duo’s ass, and he caught me watching him do it as I giggled behind my hand, shooting him a knowing look. “Oh.” He at least had the decency to blush. “This must be Jake.” So he’d heard about me then. Good.

Duo grinned and nodded as he joined me behind the counter, throwing an arm around my shoulder and kissing my cheek. “Yeah, this is Jake.” I beamed, warmed by the easy affection between us and glad to know Eli wasn’t doing anything to change that. Not yet, anyway. “My roommate and best friend.”

I responded in the only way I knew how, wrapping my arm around Duo’s waist and planting a loud, wet kiss on his cheek. If I wanted Eli to know one thing right off the bat, it was that, no matter how gorgeous and charming he was, there was no way he was getting between us.

“Guilty as charged,” I purred, offering my hand to Eli and, naturally, running my eyes over him. I had to take stock of the guy who’d caught my best friend’s attention, and he wasn’t hard to look at. “Well, aren’t you a nice, tall glass of gorgeous? Oh my.”

After we shook, I made a show of fanning myself, shooting Duo an impressed look and giving Eli a chance to speak. I’d overdone it enough already, but that was my way, and Duo knew it. He was a sweetheart to indulge me the way he did. So was Solo, for that matter. I had no idea why the oldest Maxwell kept me around some days. Mostly, I figured it was as a favor to Duo, but we got on well enough. And as long as we’re talking about him, I might as well mention that Duo’s older brother was a hunk and a half, but I knew better than to indulge that thought. It was bad enough that I already had my eye on one unobtainable blond.

Fortunately for him, Eli didn’t seem bothered by our closeness. He seemed charmed by it, rather, looking between the two of us with a fond smile. “You two are trouble, is what you are.” Oh, he was damn right about that. Perceptive fellow, that Eli, and sweetly humble as he went on. “Not ‘Gorgeous,’ actually. Eli. But it’s nice to meet you. Now what it’s gonna take for me to get a damn sandwich around here?”

It was cute the way he teased, the way his eyes sparkled as he watched Duo move. I couldn’t blame him for that. We’d been known to fool around from time to time, Duo and I--sometimes there’s no one better to scratch an itch than your best friend--but I wasn’t interested in him. Not romantically. We were too alike, and better off as friends than lovers. Even so, the boy was hard not to watch. Or want.

I excused myself to the backroom after another minute, leaving them to their flirtation. I knew Duo would be back to gush soon enough, and I was right. Luckily, I didn’t have long to wait. I couldn’t suppress the wide grin that spread over my face as Duo slipped into the room with a groan, closing the door and slumping against the wall. He had his face buried in his hands, but I could still tell that he was blushing to the roots of his hair. I turned from the shelf of bottled beverages I’d been needlessly rearranging and rushed over to him in a fit of giggles.

“Oh my god, Duo! Oh. My. God. That was the most ridiculous display I’ve ever seen.”

He glared petulantly at me. I knew it was coming--it was one of Duo’s trademarks, so I wasn’t phased. “God. I _am_ ridiculous,” he agreed. I followed close behind as Duo headed into Solo’s office off the storeroom, drawing his sweater off and tossing it onto the desk before hopping up on the edge. “But he’s so cute, and he’s so--god, did you see his hands?” I could tell he was trying to hold himself back from gushing by the way he bit his lip, cheeks flushed.

I laughed, rolling my eyes and leaning back against the wall, arms crossed over my chest. “I mean ridiculous as in cute. I heard the whole thing. He’s totally into you, Duo! How you don’t see it yet is beyond me, but he is. I saw the way he was checking you out when you came in, especially some of the finer points of your anatomy.” I smirked, focusing my gaze on the perky little ass perched on Solo’s desk. “Anyway, he’s seriously hot. You’d better jump on that dick before I do, because lord have mercy…” I couldn’t help but bait him a little. Just a little.

And it worked, just like I knew it would. 

“Hey!” Duo was at attention instantly, pouting fabulously at me. “You’d better not! If you go after him, there’s no way he’d even look at me!” I don’t know why he felt that way. Duo was a looker himself, and far more memorable than me, I thought, but we both had our own insecurities to contend with. “I think he’s just teasing,” he continued with a soft huff, rubbing the back of his neck. “Like Solo would, or any of his friends.” He shrugged. “Besides, I’m just some kid at a coffee shop.”

“You know that’s not true,” I soothed, stepping forward to lay a hand on his arm. “You’re fine as hell.” I smiled, hoping he knew how sincere I was. “And I’m only teasing, you know that. There’s no way I’d go after Eli, not when I’m still hung up on Luke. Ugh.” I rolled my eyes, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear with a slight wince. “And he doesn’t even notice me! I’m just a kid in his lab. That’s enough about me, though.” I raised my eyebrows, pinning him with an intent stare. “I may be teasing, but Eli’s not. I saw the look in his eyes and it was not family-friendly, believe me.”

Something about what I said brought an impish gleam to Duo’s eye. I wasn’t sure I liked that gleam or what it might mean very much. It always spelled trouble, and I shifted nervously as he questioned me, the very picture of false innocence. “Oh, did I tell you who Eli’s roommate is?” He was so cavalier about it I had the sneaking suspicion I knew the answer already, but I was nowhere near ready to admit it.

“No,” I shook my head and furrowed my brow, in the vise-like grip of a denial so complete it was almost sad I didn’t see it coming. “I don’t think you got around to telling me he had a roommate. Why? Who is it? Someone we know?”

I expected Duo’s grin to get wider, more wicked, maybe, but he only headed for the door, infinitely slow and deceptively casual. “Oh yeah, he’s got a roommate. Sweet kid. Some nerd studying Physics at our college. Apparently he’s also a Chemistry TA? Blond? Glasses? Has the hots for this ballerina?” My heart stopped, or damn near close to it, and then it was pounding like a drum, racing away from me before I could do a thing to stop it. All I _could_ do was stare as Duo giggled, bolting out the door and back into the cafe at the worst possible moment. He’d planned it that way, damn him! I squeaked, then muffled a short scream into my hands, eyes wide with excitement and alarm. Duo was lying. He had to be. There was no way Luke had noticed me...was there? I couldn’t think and could barely breathe, my chest tight, my throat dry.

“No...no! Duo, where are you going?” I finally found my voice again and dashed out after him, trying to keep my cool. Easier said than done after the bomb he’d just dropped on me, but that was Duo for you. “That was such a dick move! I can’t believe you!” I shoved him in the shoulder as he doubled over with laughter, the asshole, then made another feeble attempt to compose myself, running my hands down the front of my apron. “Luke _does not_ have the hots for me. We’ve barely even spoken. The times we have, it’s just been about class material.”

Duo straightened, throwing his arms around me and kissing my cheek. I couldn’t resist. His affection was always my undoing when I wanted to be mad at him--which, admittedly, wasn’t often. “Admit it. You’d miss it if I stopped.” He knew just how to placate me as I tucked into him, returning the hug, and then he pulled away, going through the motions of wiping down the bar and checking the espresso machine as he fought valiantly not to look too long at Eli, who was now sitting in a patch of sunlight at a table by the window, enjoying soup, sandwich, and a book. “And that’s not what I heard,” Duo went on, too smug for his own good, in my opinion. “I definitely heard he has a thing for you.”

It was hard to concentrate on much else after that. “No, that’s impossible.” I shook my head in denial, but couldn’t keep from smiling, staring off into the pastry case with what I knew was a dreamy expression. I couldn’t help myself. I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve that way, which makes me the worst liar in the world, by the way. It’s annoying. “Luke can’t like me!” I protested, giggling like an idiot. “It puts too much pressure on me!” Pausing, I side-eyed Duo, then cleared my throat, jerking my chin in Eli’s direction in hopes of changing the subject. I was feeling far too flustered to keep talking about beautiful blonds. Mostly, I didn’t want to get my hopes up. “You know, he keeps looking over here when he thinks you aren’t looking…” 

Duo ignored my comment about Eli, keeping the focus of the conversation on me for the time being. I could’ve throttled him for it--lovingly--even though I shouldn’t have been surprised, all things considered. “Too much pressure on you to have your crush like you?” It was skeptical, and I tried not to squirm as he scrutinized me, then laughed, lips curved in a fond smile. “You sell yourself short, mouse. You’re gorgeous. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

There wasn’t much I could say to that. Duo told me so often, but I still felt myself blushing. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe him, but I didn’t think I was anything special either, especially not when compared to him. Maybe it was time for me to admit he had a point. Something had to give. I’d had my fair share of shitty boyfriends in high school due to my equally shitty sense of self-worth, and I wasn’t sure I had it in me to do it again.

“Yeah, it does,” I confessed in a small voice, finally answering his question. I was filled with nervous energy, practically vibrating out of my skin as I started to scrub down the counters. They didn’t need it after Duo had just done it, but I had to do _something_. “Now that I know he likes me-- _might_ like me--I’m going to have to come up with witty stuff to say, and start dressing nicer, and…” Suddenly realizing how ridiculous I sounded, I trailed off, biting my lower lip out of habit and glancing at my friend, expression sheepish. What was wrong with me? I wasn’t going to change myself for some guy no matter how cute or smart or deliciously _mature_ he was, not at all like the idiot frat boys I found myself surrounded by on a daily basis. “I’m being silly, aren’t I?”

Duo nodded, reaching out to take my hand. His gaze was filled with only warmth and affection, and I was grateful to him in those moments for not outright laughing at me. I would’ve laughed had I been in his shoes. God, could I be any more dramatic? “Yeah, you are,” he said, soft and sincere. “You don’t have to be anything but yourself.” He left it at that, for which I was also grateful, kissing my cheek and pulling away to restock coffee beans.

Eli came back then, returning his dishes like any decent human being should (but most didn’t) and jerking his thumb at the door, clearly regretful that he had to leave. I started to fiddle with the pastries, rearranging the plated displays and figuring I’d leave him and Duo to their wistful goodbyes. My head was still spinning from our conversation, making me crave some peace and quiet to sort out my thoughts. Not that that kept me from listening in.

“I think I’m gonna get going,” Eli said, voice warm and smooth. There was something golden about it, something lazy and slow-dripping, like caramel. I thought I remembered Duo saying something about him being a singer in addition to a guitarist, which made total sense. “I was gonna try to stick it out for a while longer, but I’m getting pretty tired. Thanks for letting me panhandle for a while.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “And the free coffee, of course.” He and Duo promised to text each other, exchanging a few more words in low, intimate tones that made me ache with envy and a terrible sense of my own loneliness, and then... _and then…_

“It was nice to meet you, Jake,” Eli said, casual as ever. “I’ll tell Luke you said hi, alright?” Oh, I was going to kill them--both of them! I fisted my hands as I popped up from behind the pastry case, sputtering something unintelligible at him, all the while Duo giggled behind me. They were already in cahoots, which meant I was in trouble.

“Don’t you dare!” I finally squeaked, red as a beet. “Or--or maybe you could. But, you know, that’s it! Just hi. Nothing else, do you hear me?” I wagged my finger in his face, heaving a sigh of resignation and planting my hands on my hips with a smile. He was too likable for his own good, despite the teasing. “It was nice to meet you too, Eli.”

Duo’s expression was as dreamy as mine had been earlier as Eli left the cafe. I whirled on him immediately. It was his turn to get a stern talking to. “Now, you listen to me, Duo Maxwell. Text him. You need to go for it. Do _not_ let that one get away. He’s nice, and smart, and funny, and talented, and perfect for you, by the way! As if it wasn’t already obvious.” I rolled my eyes, softening my tone with a smile. “I really hope it works out for you.”

It broke my heart to see how sad he looked then, like he’d already made up his mind about a relationship with Eli not being in the cards for him. He didn’t see what I saw, not at all. “He’s like twenty-four, Jake.” It was dismissive, slim shoulders going up in a shrug, but I knew he cared more than he let on. “He doesn’t want some kid just starting school. I mean, yeah, I’d be a good fuck, but he’s on a different level. It’s okay. We’re friends. It’ll be okay.”

I wasn’t convinced as we went back to work, carrying out our respective duties, but I’d said all I could say for now. Eli wasn’t the type of guy who cared about age. I could tell from the way he’d looked at Duo, how he was around him in general, all sweetness and charm with an irresistible dash of deviousness for good measure, but I needed to leave my friend to discover that for himself. And he would, eventually. I was sure of it. This wasn’t the last we’d seen of Eli, not by a long shot.


	5. Text

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I have good news and bad news. There is another chapter after this one. Wooo!! The bad news: I can't figure out how to get the emojis to carry over from our document to the actual fic, so a lot of the nuance is lost in the below. Still, the text conversation acts as a necessary bridge, and is kinda cute. So! Here you go. A double chapter Saturday.
> 
> <3,  
> Amberly

**Eli:** Hey, kitten. How was the rest of your shift? 

**Eli** : Wanna meet up tomorrow to discuss open mic ideas? I can teach you some basics on the guitar too. I was thinking my place, if that works? Luke is going to be out most of the day, so I’ll have it all to myself.

**Duo** :  It was okay. Slow--and now I’m buried under school work. Your place sounds cool. If you send me the address I can head your way right after class.

**Eli** :  Sure, I’ll send it along in a minute. You said after 2 pm, right?

**Duo:** Yeah.  Once class is over. You’ll have plenty of time for whatever you do in the morning.

**Eli** : Whatever I do in the morning? Wow. Are you insinuating that I’m some kind of bum? I have plenty to do in the morning, thank you very much. And wouldn’t you like to know what that is… 

**Eli:** How about 4 pm-ish? You can avoid rush hour traffic that way.

**Duo** :  Whatever. Sure! I’ll see you around 4 pm.  Need me to bring anything?

**Eli:** Don’t roll your eyes at me, young man.  I don’t think so, though. I’ve had my fill of coffee and muffins for a few days, but if you wanna bring a snack, feel free. 

**Duo** : I’ll keep that in mind. Maybe I’ll bring you something special.  Something that’ll help keep us nice and relaxed. And snacks for after.

**Eli:** Ohhhhhh. Oh yes, please do. That would be greatly appreciated. Definitely all the payment I need for a guitar lesson. I’ll text you my address and see you then.

**Duo** : Awesome! See you tomorrow.


	6. Duo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is the REAL chapter! From this point on, most chapters are in the 3-4k range, so they won't be as frequent. I'm sure all of you are crushed by this revelation. We're back to Duo's POV, and his first guitar lesson. Don't forge to check out the chapter before this one for a small text snippet! Many, many thanks to everyone who's been reading. We really appreciate all the comments and support <3\. 
> 
> No major warnings for this chapter! 
> 
> <3,  
> Amberly

It was just after two. Stepping up to Eli’s door, I ran a hand through my hair, then smoothed down the fabric of my oversized violet sweater. There were wisps of hair curling loose around my face, escaped from the half-ponytail it was pulled back into. Everything else was simple. I didn’t have a lot of makeup on. It wasn’t like it was a date or something. I needed to keep that firmly in mind. Even with what Jake said, I couldn’t think Eli was interested in me. It was just casual. Just the two of us, playing some guitar, planning the open mic. Smoking a little pot. Nothing more. Adjusting my bag, I reached out and knocked, throat dry as I waited. Casually. 

Of course he looked gorgeous when he opened the door. Eli. Damp with a fresh from the shower look, dressed in a white shirt and a pair of black sweatpants. I swallowed, eyes widening as I took him in, bare feet and all. 

“Duo. Hey,” he grinned, stepping back and ushering me in. “You’re right on time. Did you find the place alright?”  

“Yeah,” I nodded, breathless as I stepped in, fingers curling around the strap of my bag. “It’s a nice place.” 

“You’re just being polite,” he laughed. "It’s pretty tiny. But for two single guys, it works.” He grinned, leading the way into the living room. I could see a small kitchen off to one side as I followed after him, attention returning to him as he continued. “I lived in the back of my van on the way out here, so this place is like a palace by comparison. Anyway, make yourself comfortable. Can I get you something to drink?” There was another flash of a smile. “You look great, by the way. It’s nice to see you out of the apron.” 

“Just a water is fine...It's nice to be out of the apron,” I laughed, slipping my boots off, curling my feet under myself as I sat. “Sometimes I think Solo schedules me so much to keep me from having a social life.” Eli frowned as I spoke, leaning against the archways between the two rooms. He crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Well that’s not good. Do you like working so much? I mean, I’m sure you like the money, but do you think he’d give you less hours if you asked? It’s important to have some downtime.”

“I don’t mind working. It’s nice to have money for other things,” I grinned at him, pulling a cigarette case out of my bag. “Like pot.” Eli laughed at that, shaking his head. We shared a small smile, my heart racing in my chest. I couldn’t talk bad about the cafe. Not when working there meant I’d met him. Turning, Eli headed into the kitchen. He came back with two bottles of water, setting one of them on the coffee table and reaching for his guitar. Smiling at me, he sat down next to me and took a sip of his water. 

“So, guitar first? Or do you want to talk?” 

“Can’t we do both at the same time?”

“Sure we can, kitten.” It was teasing, Eli shooting me a wink. “You bring snacks? Bring ‘em out. Let’s get to work.”  I laughed, pulling out the box of muffins I’d brought just for him. They joined the water bottles and a bag of chips on the table. There was a flush to Eli’s cheeks as I asked if I could smoke, his green eyes lingering on the box. He’d noticed. Good. Lighting up, I took a hit. It was good shit, my eyes hooding as I listened to him talk. I exhaled a plume of smoke and offered him the joint, leaning back as we discussed the open mic night. Both of us wanted to see Jake and Luke there, and both of us wanted them to hook up. Settling with my back against the arm of the couch, I crossed my leg, watching as he smoked. Everything he did was gorgeous, sending warmth through me, pooling in my stomach as I tried to focus. 

“Would you participate? You said you’re in school for Art and English, right?” The question caught me off guard. I was mid-smoke, head tipped back as I exhaled. I almost choked, cheeks flushing. 

“Oh, I am. Yeah. But I...don’t write much. I mean, sometimes. But not a lot.” Grinning at him, I put the joint in the cigarette case. I grabbed my sketchbook out of my bag, flipping to a page and handing it over. The page in question was dotted with Jake. He made a good subject, and we did spend a lot of time together in the dorm. It was natural to draw him, and I knew at that point I was pretty good at it. Eli watched me move with his head against the back of the couch, moving only to take the sketchbook from me, sitting up. His eyes widened, fingers brushing the page. 

“Wow, Duo. These are incredible. They’re so lifelike. I mean--they look just like him. Really.” 

“Sharing a room makes it easy. It’s harder when it’s from memory.” I was pleased and pinked, taking the sketchbook back and setting it aside. There were other pages in that book I wasn’t ready for Eli to see yet. Pages that were full of dark curls tumbling over green eyes, nimble fingers on guitar strings. Eli didn’t push it. He simply picked his guitar back up, settling it in his lap as he angled himself towards me. 

“Well,” he started,” are you ready to learn some basic chords? I can show you a few, and then you can try?” 

“Yeah, that sounds great!” I leaned forward, setting the joint down in an ashtray on the table. Eli shifted closer, guitar cradled on his lap as he settled his fingers on the chords. He was so close, holding the guitar so tightly. I’d never been jealous of an instrument before. It was a useless, helpless jealousy, curled in my stomach, settled there with no thought to how ridiculous it was. I watched him strum the guitar, telling me in his soft, serious voice about the importance of finger placement. I was so caught up in it I didn’t realize he’d moved, handing me the guitar and settling behind me. 

“It would be better if you wore the strap until you get used to the feel of it. You need to kind of find a center of balance with it, so I’ll adjust it for you,” he continued, arms coming around me to move the strap over my head. Eli’s fingers grazed my back as he adjusted the strap. It made my breath hitch, body arching slightly. Keeping my focus on the guitar was hard, but I tried. I cradled the guitar the same way he did, my thumb grazing the strings as I tried to place my hands. 

“It feels like it’s pretty snug, but not uncomfortable, right?” Eli asked, looking over my shoulder, His breath was against his neck, voice in my ear as he ran his hand from one shoulder across my back and down to my hip. “I think you’re all set for now.” It meant he was moving again, coming back to face me. Closer this time. Close enough that I could see the light flush on his cheeks, the blown pupils. Eli wet his lips and nodded at my placement of fingers. The smile I sent him was strained, my eyes hooded from the touch. Catching my lower lip between my teeth, I put hesitant fingers to the strings, strumming the chord.

“Like that?”

“Try it with a little more confidence,” he teased. Pursing his lips, he reached out to take my wrist, stroking the underside with his thumb. “And turn your wrist like this. That looks right. Does it feel better?” 

“Much better,” I agreed with an absent nod, voice husky. “Thanks.” 

“I’m happy to do it.” Eli smiled as he watched me, hands on his thighs. His eyes moved from my mouth to my hands and back, murmuring encouragement to me as I awkwardly strummed the same chord over and over. I couldn’t stop staring at his lips. The tumblr of curls over his forehead. It took all my strength to look down at my hands. To watch myself play. “If you want to hold on to the guitar, I can show you how to play a few more chords real quick. Then maybe we can take a break? Smoke some more?” 

“I’d like that,” I agreed, dimpling up at him. His grin was crooked as he looked at me, green eyes dark. “It’s nice. To create the sound. Sort of like drawing, but with music.” Tipping my head, I looked sideways at him, hair spilling over my shoulders. He didn’t reply at first. Instead, he reached out to curl a lock of my hair around his finger, stopping my heart and bringing a flush to my cheeks. He cleared his throat and sat back, looking away for a moment as the curl slid off his finger. 

“You look really good with a guitar.” The words were said with a flush and a sheepish laugh and a quick change of subject. Eli launched right into showing me the new chords, guiding my fingers to each placement. It was slow, methodically picking out each chord. I had a beginner’s clumsiness, one I tried to ignore. Each mistake was embarrassing, but I knew Eli wasn’t judging me. He just kept urging me on, adjusting my hands for each chord, gaze warm. We chatted while I played, making plans to head into town and find me my own guitar. I didn’t really mind sharing, but I was smaller than Eli. There had to be a smaller guitar, too. Eli’s eyes were on me the whole time, that deep green fixed to my hands, or lingering on my hair. I was hot, cheeks flushed, watching as he took a sip of water, then reached for another joint, lighting it as I reached for my own bottle. 

“This is really good weed, by the way.” He hummed blissfully as he took the hit, the sound low in his throat. 

“Thanks. I’ve got a good hookup on campus.” Unhooking the guitar from around my neck, I gently set it on the floor. My sweater was next, heading over my head and dropping to the floor, leaving me in just the black tanktop I wore under it. He watched every move, taking a second hit as I stretched out one of my legs, tucking my toes under Eli’s thigh. “It comes in handy.”

“I bet.” There was a shiver at the contact. Then Eli was leaning in, tucking the joint between my instinctively parting lips. There was another hand pushing my hair back, over my shoulder. Every touch was electric, my nipples tightening under the fabric of my shirt. I took my hit with a shudder, eyes locked on his as he continued. “You said before--or I think it was implied, actually--that you don’t have a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, or anything, right?” 

“Yeah, I don’t.” It was a breathless reply, my gaze sliding away from his, cheeks flushing. “I mean, Jake and I fool around, but we’re just friends. It’s cool. There’s school and work to focus on.” My laugh was nervous, gaze sweeping back up to his as I exhaled a plume of smoke. Eli bit his lower lip, watching me tip my head back. I held the joint between my fingers, eyes widening at the sudden swirl of terror and excitement in my stomach. 

“Good. I’m glad,” his nostrils flared, eyes sparking with heat. “That means there’s no one to piss off when I do this.” And then he had my chin in his hand, guiding it down. His lips were on mine, startling me into rigidity, the kiss slow and fierce, teeth grabbing at my lower lip as his other hand slid into my hair. I brushed my teeth against his upper lip, melting against him with a whine, clutching his upper arm with the hand not holding a joint. He growled in reply, wrapping his arm around my waist and crushing me closer, licking into my mouth. Eli was sweet and smokey, a heady taste I couldn’t get enough of, surrendering to the hand at the back of my head, the hungry nips and sucks to my lips. We were interrupted by a hiss. My hiss, jumping as the joint burned my fingers. I dropped it on the table and reached for his shirt, panting hard as I stared at him, eyes wide, cheeks flushed, lips swollen. Eli was already moving, stubbing the joint out safely then taking my hand in his own. 

“You didn’t burn yourself, did you?” I should’ve been more careful.” He pressed a kiss to my fingertips, tongue grazing out against them. “I'm sorry for that. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.” I was barely listening, trembling as I stared at him. I couldn’t get enough. Didn’t care about the burn or anything else, just the taste of him. The infinite tenderness behind the soft kisses to my singed fingers. Whining softly, I slid one hand into his hair, tugging lightly as I licked out at his mouth, desperate for more. He groaned into the kiss, one hand on his ankle, the other sliding back into my hair, thumb brushing my jaw. There was so much touching. I couldn’t get over it, the feeling of his hands on me. 

"You need to be closer,” he panted, our tongues brushing together. There was no other warning before he pulled me onto his lap, hands tight on my hips, sliding up my back. I went willingly, settling on his lap with my arms around his neck, both hands in his hair. His name was a reverent whisper on my lips, my body pressing tightly to him as we parted. Pressing our foreheads together, I let my eyes flutter shut, inhaling unsteadily against his mouth. 

“Eli…” 

“God, kitten,” he replied, the endearment sending a wave of heat over me, flushing my cheeks. "I don’t know if I trust myself to behave around you. I know this wasn’t what you came for. I don’t...I don’t want to take advantage.” I opened my eyes to gaze into his, biting my lip as he trailed his fingers along the side of my neck. Looking at him through my lashes, I smiled a little, nudging our lips together.

“I know it’s not why I came over. But that’s okay.” There were lips at either side of my jaw, nails teasing against my neck. Eli’s tongue curled around my earlobe, drew it into his mouth to meet his teeth. He pressed a kiss behind my ear and I was lost, tipping my head and tugging at his hair in encouragement. I wanted his hands on me, wanted his mouth on every part of me, and I told him so without hesitation, whining as he slid his hands up my tank top to stroke my stomach. The touch made me gasp and arch, pressing into his touch as he murmured softly against my ear, then brought his lush mouth to my neck. I was going to have marks later, and I didn’t care, thumbing his nipples through his shirt as I let my head fall back, resting in his hand. He cradled me the same way he cradled the guitar, feasting on my neck with his tongue and teeth, suddenly pulling back with wide eyes.

“Shit. You--you have to wear your hair back for work and--and your brother is going to kill me.” He swallowed hard, eyes wide with alarm, searching my face. Whatever he found was what he was looking for, leaning back in for another kiss. Maybe he knew I didn’t care. Could see it in my eyes. All that mattered was his hands, the heat of his mouth. When he moved again it was to take off his shirt, baring toned skin I wanted to map with my tongue. I settled for using my hands, going back against the couch as he gently laid me back, hand running along the outside of my thigh. None of it felt real. It was too good, too much what I’d been dreaming about, late at night in my dorm. A sharp bite to my pulse was what convinced me, finally, drawing out a moan and a frenzy of touching, my hands running down Eli’s back, cupping his ass and squeezing as I brought our hips into contact.

“Want you,” I panted, drawing off my tank top. His gaze was immediately drawn to the silver in my nipples, the bar in my navel, green eyes going molten with heat. The response was immediate, teeth tugging one hardened nub, tongue licking a trail to my stomach. All I could do was hold on and moan, pressing into his mouth and desperately rubbing against him, cock aching for friction. Eli was on the same page, hooking his fingers in my leggings, ready to pull them down. Stroking my fingers over his jaw, I raised my hips, ready to help--just as we heard a key in the lock.

“Fuck, fuck,” I growled, pushing him back and scrambling for my shirt, cheeks flaming. “Is that your roommate?” 

“Fuck. Are you kidding me right now?” Eli seemed just as frustrated as I was, running his hand through his hair and clenching his jaw. “Yeah. It is.” His reply was clipped as he dragged on his shirt, just in time for the door to open. My first impression of Luke was not a good one. He stared at us with wide eyes and limp hands, books tumbling out of his grip. And then there was the dog, barking excitedly as her owner returned, jumping up on him and begging for attention. It was a welcome distraction.

“Oh,” he said stupidly, shutting the front door behind himself. “I’ll just--take her out.” He was gone after that, dog at his side, cheeks flaming. I know my own were flaming. I couldn’t do anything but gape at him, unable to even look at Eli. Luke leaving the room acted like a switch, setting us both into motion. I groaned, burying my face in my hands, body tense.

“Oh my god, Duo. I’m so sorry,” Eli bit his lip. “He wasn’t supposed to be home yet. He must’ve finished early or something.” 

“It’s uh. It’s okay,” I flashed him a crooked grin. “Shit happens. I should head out anyway. Schoolwork and stuff. You know.” Biting my lip, I stood, sweater back on, bag over my shoulder. “Thanks for the lesson.” Eli sighed, looking deflated as he ran his hands through his mussed hair, offering me a humorless smile of his own.

“The hazards of having a roommate.” He frowned then, a flicker of disappointment in his eyes. “Are you sure? You could stay, but I guess--I guess that might be a little awkward.” Awkward was right. There was no way I could stay there. Not after Luke. I didn’t think he needed me to tell him that, though. Looking down and away, Eli huffed, then stood, heading to the door and holding it open for me. “Thanks for coming over. And for the weed. It was fun while it lasted, right?” He ducked his head a little, meeting my gaze. “I’ll talk to you soon?”

“Yeah. I’ll--I’ll see you at the shop. For sure.” I was acting as awkward as I felt, even as I kissed his cheek. Sure, I’d see him. We had the open mic to finish. Face flaming, I made my way back to my dorm, disappointment heavy in my stomach. Not only had I somehow managed to not hook up with Eli, but I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be getting another chance. Not after what had happened. I was cute, sure. And he clearly liked kissing me. But I wanted more than just a couple of fumbles on the couch. It was hard to convince myself that he could want anything else now, letting myself back into my room, his lips a distant memory on my skin. Who could want me, anyway?

  
  
  



	7. Duo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, welcome to our weekly update! I don't have a whole lot to say about this chapter except that it's a pretty big one, length-wise AND plot-wise, and not just because it's NSFW. ;) There are no major warnings here besides SMUT. But it's meaningful smut! If you've read this far, you've probably seen it coming, and I like to think it's not TOO gratuitous. Not yet anyway. As always, thank you for reading and enjoy! Keep the comments coming...I know we both love reading them! -Zillah

I didn’t see Eli come in. I was sulking in the back, pretending to stock shelves and completely convinced I’d blown whatever chance I had with him. He was tall, dark, and gorgeous, this wandering poet who just happened to come by the cafe. And me? I was a tiny little nobody. Just a shrimp related to the cafe owner. He’d probably been laughing about me since I’d left. The kissing had been a fluke--just some guy trying to get into my pants. Nothing I wasn’t used to. Jake was letting me mope. After helping me clean up the pieces, he’d tried to convince me I was wrong. It was a lost cause. 

“You have a visitor.” I looked up at the words to find Jake there, grinning like a cat, hands clasped behind his back as he rocked on his heels. 

“What? Who?” 

“Hmm,” Jake tipped his head to the side, lips curving in a mysterious smile. “Well, I’ll give you three hints. Tall, dark, plays guitar...any of that ring a bell?” 

“Oh.” I said, standing and blinking at him. I don’t know who else I thought it would be. “Shit. How--do I look okay?” There was nothing special about my outfit. No makeup on. It was monochrome, a dark grey sweater and black skinny jeans. Part of me wished I’d put more effort into my appearance that morning. The rest of me was trying to remind that part that Eli wasn’t here for that--he didn’t want that. I was so busy steeling myself for an easy letdown I almost didn’t hear Jake’s reply. 

“You always look good,” he sighed, reaching out to tug one of my braids. “Those are adorable on you.” Jake pulled me in for a hug, kissing my cheek. “Try not to be nervous. I bet he’s just as freaked out by what happened as you are. In a good way, I mean. He looked pretty nervous. So just see what he has to say.” Smiling encouragingly at me, Jake gave me a small shove. Tucking a loose lock of hair behind my ear, I headed towards the front, apron still hanging behind the door. I stuck my hands in my back pockets as soon as I saw him, mirroring his pose, maybe. He did look nervous--he was fidgeting and trying not to, something that made my chest ache. As soon as he saw me, he smiled, every part of his face lighting up. 

“Duo. Hey. Do you...do you have a few minutes?” It was hopeful, his gaze flitting to the ground and back to me, drawing a shy smile out of me. “I was hoping we could talk.” 

“Yeah, I’ve got some time. Jake can manage without me. I’m on break anyway.” I made my way out from behind the bar, standing flat-footed in front of him. “You wanna talk in here or…” 

“Yeah, here’s fine. Unless you wanna get out and take a walk. I could buy you lunch or something…” he ducked his head, shooting me a sheepish smile. 

“I don’t have that much break left,” I laughed, wrapping my hands around one braid. “But we can go outside? Or just sit here. I don’t mind either way.” I hated having to tell him no. Especially with the way his shoulders hunched. He was frowning, gnawing on his lower lip as he replied. 

“Oh, right. I guess not…” It was just as awkward as I’d hope it wouldn't be. “Yeah, let’s go outside. I’m sure you could use some fresh air.” 

“Okay,” I nodded, shifting away a little. “Sure.” I led the way at his signal, watching his smile soften as I reached the door. He leaned in, opening the door for me before I could get to it. 

“I like your braids, by the way. They’re cute.”

“Thanks,” I laughed, trying not to flush as I shot him a sideways look. “I’m glad you think so.” I followed him over to one of the vacant benches, settling beside him. It was hard not to slump. I felt defeated. This was it, I told myself. He was going to tell me it had been a mistake. That he didn’t really want me. But still...we were friends. I straightened myself, biting my lip and looking sideways at him again as he started to apologize. 

“I wanted to--apologize, again. For the other day. I mean, I’m not sorry for what happened. Not the first part.” That was good. “But I mean, being walked in on. I still feel bad about that.”

“Yeah...I haven’t been walked in on since I was about 12,” I teased, laughing. Eli groaned, rubbing his hands against his thighs as it morphed into a laugh. 

“Same here. I was so mortified the first time Mom walked on me with another guy, although it wasn’t quite as bad as the first time Ma walked in on me jerking off,” his grin was crooked. Clearing his throat, he continued. “I also hope I didn’t give you the wrong idea.”

“The wrong idea?” This was it. He was going to tell me he didn’t like me like that. I was sure of it, watching the way he shifted on the bench. There was unsurety there. Like he didn’t know how to begin. I didn’t know how to help him. Not when I was so distracted by the curls tumbling over his forehead. He swallowed and I watched his throat, itching with the urge to feel that skin under my lips. 

“All I mean is, I hope you don’t think I was trying to get you there just to get in your pants. I like you. I don’t want you to think I’m only interested in sex.” He shot a look at me, waiting for a reply with earnest green eyes. Beautiful. Everything about him was beautiful, and I was too breathless to speak. I swallowed hard, nodding as I looked back at him.

“I like you too,” I smiled, cheeks dimpling. “And not just ‘cause you’re an amazing kisser.” 

“You think I’m an amazing kisser?” He went from surprised to teasing in an instant, shooting me a rakish grin. “You’re not too shabby either, you know.” This was okay. It was more than okay, my hopeful heart racing in my chest. All the tension was gone. Like it hadn’t existed. Just us, sitting on a bench, flirting. I relaxed, leaning closer to him, wanting contact. He leaned back, fingers grazing my arm. 

“Oh yeah,” I replied, dreamily, biting my lip. “Although...I hope you know it’s not very gentlemanly to start something and not finish it. I thought you were better than that.”

“You know,” he breathed, lips against my ear. “I had heard something about that. I hope you’ll give me a chance to make it up to you.” 

“I think I might be able to do that. Since you asked so nicely.” I took his hand, and he twined our fingers together. There were lips on my jaw, his thumb on my knuckles. The affection between us was easy as we talked, setting up a time for another guitar lesson. Nothing with someone else had ever felt so comfortable. I was hooked on it, caught up in the sparkle of his eyes, the way his lips moved when he spoke. The banter between us. Maybe that’s what prompted me to tease him when he asked me how old I was. 

“You don’t have to be exactly eighteen,” he told me, looking just a little wary. “Just at least eighteen. To keep me from feeling like a total creep.” The question caught me off guard at first. Why was he asking that? And then it hit me—he was worried! That I was too young, that what we were doing wasn’t legal. Giggling wildly, I shook my head, then kissed his cheek, sliding out from the arm he’d draped over my shoulder. 

“Well...my break is over...I better get back to work,” I teased, backing towards the cafe with my hands slipping into my pockets. His mouth dropped open, eyes widening in shock and drawing another snort out of me. 

“Hey! You’re eighteen, right? Duo? Come on, don’t tease an old man like this,” he laughed, springing off the bench after me and grabbing my upper arms, carefully pressing me back against the door. It made my breath hitch, head tipping back against the glass. 

“Is that what you are? An old man?” 

“Come on, kitten,” he leaned in, breathing against my neck. “Tell me.” His lips were barely there, just a whisper, but enough to have me shuddering beneath him, reaching out to fist his shirt. 

“Fuck,” I whimpered. “Eli.” 

“Sweet young thing,” he flicked his tongue out against my neck, teeth closing on my jaw. “I thought you needed to get back to work…”

“I do,” I panted back, letting go of his shirt to fumble for the door, looking up at him through my lashes. “I’m eighteen. Birthday’s Halloween.”

“Good. Don’t make any plans,” he leaned in to steal a kiss, then stepped back and ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. “It’s a good thing Jake’s our only audience right now.” I took the time to look over my shoulder, catching a glimpse of him standing stock still, expression one of delight. “Text me later?”

“Yes, sir,” I teased, delighting in the way his eyes darkened. My cheeks were flushed as I opened the door, taking a step back into the cafe. “I will. When my shift is over.” 

“There’s a good kitten,” he winked at me, then leaned in, kissing me softly, tongue lightly brushing against my lower lip. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Talk to you later,” I echoed dreamily, watching as he walked away, an obvious spring in my step, only half aware of Jake laughing in the background. 

—

It took forever to get dressed. I wanted to look perfect, and I didn’t want to look like I’d spent a lot of time getting there. Eventually I gave up, pulling on leggings and a tank top and throwing a sweater over it all. I left my hair up in a messy bun, slid into my flats, and texted Eli to let him know I was coming. His apartment was close to campus, and I was there in no time, shifting restlessly as I waited for him to open the door. He didn’t make me wait long, smiling as he opened the door, the green of his shirt bringing out his eyes. We’d both gone for comfort, dark grey lounge pants clinging to his hips, his feet bare. 

“Hey,” he greeted me, pushing his hair back from his eyes, voice husky. “You have perfect timing. I just woke up from a nap. And you look great. Wow.” The compliment was accompanied by a thorough once over, drawing heat to my cheeks as I stepped in, slipping off my flats and reaching into my back pocket. 

“Hey. Thanks,” I bit my lip. There was more than one reason to be nervous. This wasn’t just a guitar lesson. There was gonna be a whole lot more, and both of us knew it, the tension crackling between us. I was tense for a different reason, handing over a black cigarette case, a forest scene painted on the front. I’d done it myself, by hand, and I could only hope that he’d like it. If he didn’t, hopefully the joints inside would make up for it. “These are for you. This way, you have your own to smoke, too.” He looks completely gobsmacked as I handed it over, opening it with a gleeful grin, then going back to the front, fingers stroking over the paint. 

“Thanks…this is seriously gorgeous…” his head snapped up, looking at me intently. “Wait—did you paint this? Because if you painted this, I’m going to be seriously impressed.” 

“Yeah, I did,” I laughed, trying to shrug it off, hands in my pockets. “It just...seems like it fits you.” I looked up at him through my bangs, worrying my lower lip. It was hard to focus on the conversation with the way he was looking at me, all green bedroom eyes and a smile. “You like it?”

“So far, I love everything that you do,” his hand slid to the nape of my neck, drawing me into a soft kiss, thumb stroking my skin. I couldn’t believe he was real, delivering lines like that with absolute sincerity. I swayed into the kiss, eyes fluttering shut. It was a perfect beginning to our night, and more than I had hoped to have so soon. We were already kissing, and I’d just walked through the door. 

The tension broke after that. We went to his room, settling on the couch tucked against the wall. It was definitely Eli’s bedroom, done in earth colors. Properly boho. Exactly what you’d expect from a man who traveled around writing poetry and playing guitar. I settled on one end, and he settled on the other, drinking from a bottle of wine. Adjusting the guitar on his lap, Eli started playing, strumming idly as we talked about our roommates. I lit one of the joints from my own case, sprawling out at the end of the couch as I watched him. He was singing this time, voice low and smooth, just as perfect as the rest of him. It ended up with him teaching me a song, something old and soft that I just barely recognized by the Beatles. After a couple of tries, I had it down, strumming away at his too-big-for-me guitar, watching as he drank wine, watching me right back. 

“We could do more with the guitar,” he said when I finished, gingerly taking it and setting it aside. He shifted closer, our knees touching, searching my face as he spoke. “But to be honest, I really want to kiss you right now.” Eli took a deep breath, wetting his lips. “I’m sitting here looking at you and not kissing you is killing me.” 

“I--yeah,” I cleared my throat, watching him though my lashes as I shifted closer to him. “I think I’d like that.” The nervousness was back, even as Eli took my hands, twining our fingers together. He brought them to his chest, leaving them there as he leaned in, sliding his arms around my waist. Then his mouth was on mine, tongue brushing over the seam of my lips. I went willingly. Brushing my tongue out against his, I slid my hands up his chest, around his neck, fingers curling into the soft hair at the nape of his neck. He was touching me, stroking my back as we kissed, teasing my lips with teeth and tongue, each one growing deeper, hungrier. Pressed to him, I kissed back, moaned against his mouth as I slid into his lap, knees settling on the couch against his hips.

He shivered every time I touched him. It made it impossible to do anything else, one hand sliding back down his chest, eagerly mapping the firm muscles. His hips rolled up against me, the hard line of his cock drawing another moan out of me. Grinding back against him, I ran my tongue over his lower lip, tugging with my teeth as he stood, carefully, lifting me with him and heading straight to his bed. My legs were around his waist, eagerly rubbing against him even as he spread me out on the mattress, covering me immediately. I could barely breathe. Couldn’t think at all, thumbing his nipple as I ground up against him, swallowing his moan with an eager kiss. No one had ever turned me on like this, his murmured “kitten” leaving me breathless, his hand running along my thigh as his teeth scraped my pulse. I tipped my head back in offering as I tugged at his shirt, hips thrusting needily up against him. Everything else was gone, melting away as his mouth seared my skin, his hands stroking every inch of me. We pulled off each other's clothes with feverish hands, all roaming eyes and heavy pants. 

“God, I want to eat you alive,” he growled, gaze sweeping over me, from the silver in my navel to the twin rings in my nipples. And then there were teeth, my hands threading through his curls as he tugged at first one, then the other, tongue teasing at the metal, hand sliding down my side, fingers teasing along the inside of my thigh. “Don’t wanna stop. Do you bottom, kitten? Do you want me inside you?” 

“Yeah,” I nodded, tightening my leg around his waist as I pressed into his hand. I rolled us, settling astride his hips and looking down at him with a breathless grin, eyes hooded, hair in wisps around my face. “I do bottom...but I like to ride. I wanna feel you.” I rolled my hips down against him, grinding in small, eager circles. His smile was blinding, a breathless laugh sounding out of him as he touched every part of me. I arched into it, soaking up his touch eagerly, even as I touched him back, hands in his hair, stroking over his shoulders and chest. 

“You take my breath away, you know that? You have to be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” 

“Oh.” I didn’t know what else to stay, shocked into stillness, my hands flat on his stomach as I looked down at him, a flush spreading over his cheeks and down his neck as I stared. There was a reverence in his gaze I didn’t expect. Didn’t know how to handle, watching as he swallowed hard, unable to speak. And then we were kissing again, bodies moving in tandem. The friction between our cocks was delicious, made me delirious. There were slick fingers against me, his cock twitching against my thigh as he reached up with his other hand to stroke back the heavy curtain of my hair, come loose in the middle of everything. He stretched me, slicking me open, and then I was riding him, head thrown back as I twisted my body in slow, lazy circles, giving us both time to adjust. 

“You look so good. You look perfect.” Eli took one of my hands from his stomach, bringing it up to his lips. The touch was light, barely there, a soft graze of teeth as he thrust up into me. I was speechless. Lost in the pleasure. When he sat up, bracing his hand at the small of his back, I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him back as he slid his other hand into my hair. I’d never been this close to anyone. This wasn’t just fucking, this was more, my body a live wire of pleasure as I tried to touch all of him at once. It didn’t take much for me to fall apart. Just his hand, wrapping around my cock as he breathed “kitten” into my ear, encouraging me to come as I melted against him, desperately trying to catch his mouth in a kiss. He tipped me forward against the bed and I cried out, arching up against him at the sudden pound of his hips, spilling into his hand as he twisted them. I moaned his name, cheeks flushed, toes curling on the bed as I raised my hips to meet his thrusts, desperate to feel him come. It didn’t take him long to follow me over the edge, hips snapping forward as he buried his face against my neck, moaning into my skin. We slowed and stilled, sweat slicking our skin. And still all I could do was touch him, stroking the nape of his neck, rubbing my thigh against his hip as I nudged his temple with my lips. 

“Eli.” 

“Duo,” he breathed back, shaking his head. He brushed my hair out of my eyes, watching me with dazed eyes. Cradling my jaw, he ran his thumb along my lower lip, resting our foreheads together. “You’re so much more than I bargained for.” I flushed, turning my head to nuzzle against his palm, inhaling deeply. 

“Is that a bad thing?” 

“Oh, no,” he laughed, husky and sated, eyes crinkled at the corners. “No, kitten. You amaze me...in every way possible. I just didn’t expect this. At all.” I thought I knew what he meant. I hadn’t expected it, either. It wasn’t just sex. It was more, a steady hum under everything. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I slumped, relieved, against his chest, loose and pliant, every inch of me satisfied. 

“Good.” I ran a hand through his hair, lips curving in a shy smile. “You look gorgeous when you come.” His cheeks went dark, head ducking. The grin he shot me was pleased, and shy, and I ran my hand over his body, idly stroking his stomach as I watched the expressions on his face. The way his eyes brimmed with some unnamed emotion. No one had ever said anything like that to him before, and I felt something in me break. It was soft and molten, swirling in my chest as I looked up at him. It showed on my face and I knew it. I didn’t care, determined, brushing my lips to his chin. “It’s true. I’ve never seen anyone who looks like you. Or met anyone like you.” 

“I’m glad,” he said, stunned. Maybe a little overwhelmed. His lips curved in a sated smile, shaking his head slightly. “I’m glad. Because now that I have your attention, I want to keep it.” He drew us both onto our sides, fingers stroking up and down my back. I stretched deeply, then settled contentedly in his arms, drawing circles and hearts on his chest and stomach and hips, eyes sparkling. 

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem.” 

“Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?” He asked me, gaze heating at my touch. 

“I want to stay like this.” I never wanted to move. Touching him was my favorite thing. Running my fingers along his back, over his hip. I pressed a lazy kiss to his mouth, sucking his lower lip and throwing my leg over his, relishing the contact. I’d always been affectionate. Always liked to touch and be touched--the nickname “kitten” was appropriate for many reasons. And it warmed me that Eli seemed just as content to lie there was I was, hand sweeping over my skin, setting at the swell of my hip as we kissed. I didn’t need anything else. Just the feel of his skin, the way he trembled under my touch. I was addicted to the look on his face, the way he watched me back. I was getting hard again, and so was he, something he teased me about. I didn’t mind. I just wanted to touch him. To taste his skin under my lips. Pressing my nose behind his ear, I inhaled deeply, mouth open against his skin, tongue swiping over the salty sweat of his throat. It was lazy, playful, and the most perfect thing I’d ever experienced. A lazy exploration I couldn’t get enough of, even as I pulled back, cheeks flushed. 

“I wanna ride you again. In your lap--back to chest.” 

“You can have anything you want,” he told me, tapping the tip of my nose. I wrinkled it in response. “Demanding kitten. You’re lucky I don’t want to let you go. Not yet.” 

“Very demanding,” I agreed, tossing my hair and squirming out of his arms. The grin I flashed him was impish, all dimples. “Besides. You owe me. You got me all worked up last time.” Curling a lock of hair around my finger, I batted my lashes at him, expression turning innocent. “C’mon, Daddy. Let me ride your cock again.” 

“Oh,” he growled, looking me over sharply. “That’s how you like it, is it?” 

“Yeah,” I agreed, tipping my head to the side, turning to slide back onto his lap. There were lips at my jaw, teeth against my neck. “I do. Like it that way.” His hands slid down my chest, then held my hips. Scooting back against the wall at the head of the bed, he traced the shell of my ear with his tongue. I was trembling, on edge, waiting for him to say something--do something. 

“I’d love to be your Daddy,” he breathed into my ear. “I’d love to take care of you. Whatever you need.” He rolled up against me, and I was lost. I broke on his agreement, guiding his cock into me again, head falling back against his shoulder. Sealing my back to his chest, I rolled in slow, lazy circles, eyes fluttering shut. It was slow, sultry, his lips on my neck, his hands stroking my nipples, running along my sides. There was only this bed, his voice against my ear as I rolled my body against him, riding the length of his cock. Nothing but surrender as his hand curved around the front of my throat, fingers stroking it so tenderly. The nails on my stomach were light, drawing a hitched keen out of me as I turned my head, desperate to catch his mouth. It was fast, felt like a fever dream, some strange heaven as I shuddered in his arms, coming with his teeth in my shoulder, his hand around my throat. 

“God,” he breathed, shuddering in the aftermath, forehead against my shoulder. He stroked my skin, limp and lazy. I felt wrung out, delirious and sated as he pressed a kiss to my forehead, then pushed my hair out of my eyes, gazing at me with dark eyes. “Where have you been?” 

“Waiting for you,” I replied, low and husky as I nuzzled his cheek. We were holding hands again, fingers linked, even as I stroked his cheek with the other, tracing the curve of it. Along his jaw. I tugged him into another kiss, swallowing hard as we broke apart. It was too much, watching as he turned his head into my touch, his eyes closing in bliss. I’d never seen anyone smile like that, so soft and blissful, and I wanted to keep it forever. I wanted all of Eli’s smiles to be mine, and mine only. 

“Maybe so. How long did you spend in that coffee shop until I walked into it, hmm? An eternity?” He laughed, cheeks warmed, slumping onto the bed and taking me with him, kissing the back of my neck. I snuggled into his arms, my own lips curved. It was impossible to do anything but smile, reaching back to touch his hip, drawing once again on the skin with my finger. 

“Sometimes it feels like it.” 

He was quiet, tugging at the blankets beneath us. Finally freeing one, he tucked it tightly around me, then over himself. Turning in his arms, I tangled our legs together, sliding a hand into his hair. When he spoke again it was hushed, a secret for only me. 

“I spent a lot of time traveling before I came here. Just drifting, aimlessly. And when I got here it was just like...I knew this was where I had to be. Something made me stay. Like I knew there was something--or someone--waiting for me.” 

“I know what you mean,” I smiled dreamily at him, lips pressing to his jaw. “I meant to leave right after High School. I never meant to stay here for college but...I couldn’t leave. Maybe we just had to find each other.” I finished shyly. His reply was a smile, soft and sleepy and full of contentment, arms tight around me. 

“Maybe we did.” He was just on the edge of sleep as I was. Tucking myself under his chin, I curled my fingers into his hair, stroking it idly as I let myself relax against him. He wasn’t going to ask me to leave. I knew he wasn’t, not with the way his arms tightened around me. The way his cheek settled against my hair. 

“Stay?” he murmured. I pressed a kiss to his collarbone, fingers stilling as sleep threatened to drag me under. 

“Always.”


	8. Luke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Luke has some questionable ethics, and a lot of people blush. This is a fairly short chapter introducing Luke to the audience and setting up some stuff for later. I'm pretty partial to Luke, since I write him, but he's a really great guy (ethics aside). He's into the stars, and plays piano, and had a stutter in high school--something he's mostly over now. This is mostly fluff--but it's the mostly that gets you! 
> 
> Thank you all for reading, and for the lovely comments. They're greatly appreciated! 
> 
> <3,  
> Amberly

I felt the tension as soon as I came into the cafe, shoulder still smarting from the man who’d run into me. He’d been leaving the cafe. Which told me that whatever tension I was feeling was in part due to him, if not because of him completely. The boy behind the counter--Duo, based on Eli’s descriptions--was smiling a little, posture relaxing. Eli was smiling too, waving and smiling at me as I crossed the room to his table. So whatever I was feeling was residual, already starting to slip away. I dropped my bag next to my chair and unbuttoned my coat, hanging it on the back of my chair. The atmosphere was clearing, and I wondered where I should bring it up at all. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey, you made it. How was school?” Eli took a sip of his coffee as I settled myself, running a hand through my hair as I looked around the cafe. Duo was the only one working so far. I tried not to let that discourage me, focusing instead on Eli. 

“It wasn’t too bad. We have a big exam next week, so it was mostly helping the students prep. Not at all painful.” Exam prep was my favorite. It was satisfying to have my students asking questions and looking for help, especially the ones who were usually more quiet. I took another look around the cafe, Eli’s expression knowing as he took another sip of his coffee. We’d been friends since college, and I knew how transparent I was to him.

“I don’t think your little blond is here yet. I got here about five minutes ago, and I haven’t seen him,” he took a look over his shoulder as the door opened, perking up. “Oh, wait. There he is now.” He wasn’t wrong. The figure bustling into the cafe was familiar. We could’ve walked together, as I’d just seen him in class. He was flushed, windswept, waving absently at Eli and freezing as soon as he saw me. Whatever protests I had about Jake not being mine, about him being a student, died on my lips. I could only smile nervously at him, nodding in greeting. He slipped behind the counter without another word, giving me a chance to turn narrowed eyes on my tablemate.

“He’s a student, Eli. He’s my student, specifically. I can’t. You know that.”

“So? Duo’s a student, and I did. And look how well it worked out for me.” He was smug, the bastard, resting his chin in his hand, idly tapping his fingers. “I only want you to be happy. And to have some semblance of a social life outside of school.” It wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate it. I did. Eli was a good friend, and I knew he only wanted what he thought was best for me. Even if we had different ideas for what that was. I took a minute to take a deep breath, then stood, slipping my hands into my pockets as I made my way to the counter, looking over the menu and gnawing on my lower lip. I could hear scuffling in the back, and then Duo was making his way out of the cafe, laughing brightly, Eli up and immediately out the door after him. I spared them a smile, then turned my attention back to the counter.

“Is there something I can get you?” Jake stood behind it, looking shy, cheeks flushed, hands clasped behind his back. Like most things about Jake, it was sweet, and endearing, and a little overwhelming. He was young, and beautiful, and I felt incredibly ancient and gauche standing across from him, staring up at the menu.

“Can I get a hot chocolate? But with coffee in it?” I laughed, shrugging and looking away as I struggled to get my stutter under control. Jake brought it out, even in class, causing me to speak slower, more carefully. It was a wonder he didn’t think I was an idiot. “If you have it. I could use the pick me up, but I want chocolate.”

“Oh.” Jake giggled, looking down at the counter, then back up at me. “You mean a mocha? I think you want a mocha. And you’re in luck, because I make a mean one. We also have some really great chocolate croissants and stuff, if you wanna take a look.” He pointed towards the pastry case.

“Oh--okay. That sounds right.” I grinned, then headed towards the pastry case. It gave me a chance to control the heat raising to my face. A mocha. Of course--I’d known that. But what I knew didn’t matter when Jake was around. It all seemed to fall out of my head. Clearing my throat, I shot a look at him. “So you know Duo? And Eli?” He replied almost immediately, chattering away at me as he made the mocha. Sparkling and full of life as he moved around the space behind the counter, mixing milk and pouring espresso. It was a joy to watch him work, something I attributed to him being a ballerina. It gave him an added grace, one I couldn’t help but appreciate.

“Well,” I laughed, grinning at him as he offered to help keep me busy while our friends were occupied with each other. “Would you like to get coffee sometime?" I winced immediately. “Or maybe not coffee. Maybe--dinner?” I took my mocha, watching him hopefully, trying not to look too eager. Not that I thought it mattered, given the way his cheeks flushed.

“What? Really? Dinner? You--you’d like to go to dinner with me?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I would.” I took a deep breath, running my hand through my hair. It was out there now. I couldn’t take it back, so I barreled ahead, leaning in some. “I know I’m your TA, and this is...so inappropriate. But I’d...like to see you. Outside of class.”

“I’d--I’d love to. Also. Go to dinner with you and see you outside of class.” The shy smile he sent my way had me melting, lips curving into their own smile in return. We were both stuttering a little, unsure as we stood in that tiny cafe. But it was a good feeling, especially when Jake laughed, expression almost fond as he looked towards me. “I didn’t really think it’d ever happen. Like you said, the whole TA thing.” So he’d been wanting it too. That piece of information gave me the confidence I needed, letting me lean in to steal a quick, chaste kiss.

“How about this. I’ll put your number in my phone and text you, and we can make plans?” I didn’t miss his sharp inhale at the kiss, or the way his eyes hooded at the touch, shooting me a sultry look through his lashes. This boy was trouble, but I was more than ready for it, I thought. I hoped. What chance did a geek have against a ballerina? Jake was watching me, wrapping a lock of hair around his finger as he exhaled, lips curved as he slid a piece of paper across the counter at me. His number, finally.

“I’d like that a lot.” He swallowed, voice light and breathless. “Did you--did you want a pastry?” Jake looked shell shocked, eyes wide as they cut to the pastry case, then back to me. I couldn’t ever remember feeling so confident. It’s the only way to explain the small, smug smirk that stretched over my lips as I took a sip of my mocha.

“No, the coffee’s enough. It’s delicious.” I grinned, winking at him. “Not as sweet as you, but delicious. Thanks. I’ll text you, Jake.” He scoffed at me, cheeks flaming as he waved me away. It was cute to see how flustered he was, smiling shyly and tucking a lock of hair behind his ear, cutting little looks at me from across the room as I made my way back to my seat. I texted him as soon as I got back to my seat, a simple “Hello, Darling” as I waited for Eli to come back, sipping my mocha. I didn’t have long to wait, my friend slipping into his seat with a huge grin on his face.

“You asked him out, didn’t you?”

“I did. And he said yes. So. That’s good, right?”

“That’s very good. And you know,” Eli lowered his voice, leaning in closer. “If you ever want to bring him back to our place, let me know and I’ll make myself scarce. I can always sleep in the van, if nothing else.”

“Oh yeah? Does Duo know about the van?” I raised an eyebrow, grinning at him. “Maybe you should show him. Tomorrow evening.” Eli gave me a knowing look, sipping at his own drip.

“I have told him about it. I haven’t shown him yet." Humming, he looked out the window. “But if I’m going to show him tomorrow night, I guess that means I’ll be spending my day cleaning. Better freshen the place up a bit.” We chatted a little bit more, laughing and exchanging jokes as we finished our coffees.

It was comforting, to still have Eli as a friend. When I’d walked into my freshman dorm, I hadn’t expected to end up with the immensely cool guy playing guitar on his bed as a friend. Any confidence I’d had in high school had long been beaten out of me by bullies. They’d been more than happy to pick on the stuttering queer pianist who knocked their science grades out of the water. I expected Eli to be just like them, to take one look at my glasses and sweater vest and act the same way. Instead, I was treated to a slow, sweet smile and a quiet “Hey.” We’d been friends ever since, even as Eli’s travels took him off around the country. As we sat there and chatted, I completely forgot about the tension I’d walked into, caught up in the new happiness coming to both of our lives.

The time would come when I’d regret letting it go so easily. 


	9. Jake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise Double Feature! We're posting this chapter now, since Luke's is so short. There is a lot of adorable squealing between Duo and Jake, and that's...really it. 
> 
> This is also the part where I apologize to a coworker for stealing his name. Whoops? 
> 
> Thank you again for reading! It's appreciated <3\. 
> 
> <3,  
> Amberly

A few days after the fact, I was still having trouble believing Luke had asked me out on a date. Me! He wanted to take _me_ on a _date_ ? We were moving straight from the get-to-know-you coffee (which I suppose we had already _had_ , in a way, thanks to me working at the cafe) to the more intimate and highly-coveted dinner date. It wasn’t really registering yet, but I had a definite case of the jitters as I moved restlessly around the room, fresh out of the shower. Duo was perched on his bed in a t-shirt and panties, and I knew questions were coming just by the way he was grinning at me. I bit my tongue to keep from barking at him to just come out with it already.

“Soooo,” he drawled. “You have a hot date?”

I crossed to the dresser on my side of the room, already dressed in a pair of tiny drawstring shorts. They were baby blue and hugged my ass, and part of me wished I could wear them on my date with Luke as I drew a plain white t-shirt down over my head, then flopped down onto my bed. “Yeah, I do.” I wondered if Duo could hear the nerves in my voice as I stretched out on my stomach, resting my chin in my hands and biting my lower lip. “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe he asked me to dinner! The way it happened was amazing.” I smiled, heaving a dreamy sigh.

“Oh, I saw it,” Duo teased, agreeing with me. “It _was_ amazing. You lit up. It was the cutest thing. And then you were both all red.”

I blushed. I hadn’t known Duo had seen it happen, since he’d abandoned me and left me to deal with Luke on my own. I guess I could only thank him for it now, though. “You saw it? You sneaky little--I thought you were still outside!” I laughed, reaching across the gap between our beds to poke him in the knee. “It _was_ really cute. I think it helped knowing he was as nervous as I was. Now I have to decide what to wear, though.” I groaned, rolling my eyes and wrinkling my nose. For someone who loves clothes as much as I do, that’s the hardest part of preparing for a date, not to mention that I had no idea if my penchant for dressing girly was going to bother him at all. What if it was okay in class, but not on a date? What if Luke was embarrassed to be seen with me? Should I tone it down, just in case, or go all out? I didn’t want to not be myself around him.

“I’m sure anything you wear will be okay,” Duo reassured me, a hint of amusement underlying his tone. “I think Luke likes you enough that you could wear something hideous and he’d still think you’re gorgeous.”

If I was honest, I didn’t want to test that theory. “I don’t know if I’ll go that far,” I snorted, lips twitching in a small smirk. “But I appreciate the encouragement.” I paused then, scraping my lower lip with my teeth in thought. “I’ll have to thank Eli for helping me out with Luke. He’s a pretty great guy, huh?” Seeing Eli’s effect on Duo was warming, and I couldn’t help but grin watching him light up in response to the mention of him.

“He is. He is so great,” Duo sighed, then giggled. “I called him ‘Daddy’ the other day...in bed.” His eyes hooded as he spoke. “His reaction was perfect.”

I gaped, staring at him in shock. Duo had slept with Eli? And I didn’t know about it? I couldn’t believe he hadn’t told me already, but I also didn’t blame him for keeping some things to himself, especially after they’d just happened. I mean, I wanted to know _everything_ eventually, because there wasn’t much we didn’t tell each other, but I couldn’t be upset with him for this. It was still so new, so fresh and exciting.

“Oh my god, yes! Finally!” I sat up, crossing my legs and leaning in eagerly. “I’ve been meaning to bug you for all the juicy details. I mean, I assumed that when you didn’t come home it was because you’d stayed over there…” I trailed off, grinning wickedly. “You called him Daddy? Really? Quit stealing my lines!” I laughed, warm and teasing. “How did he react to that?”

Duo shuddered. “He got really hot. He really liked it. God. And he’s so--he’s so amazing. Like he fucked me good and hard, and then we cuddled and kissed and he says the sweetest things.”

I was glad to hear it. It was nothing less than what Duo deserved. The only problem was that listening to him talk about it was getting _me_ all hot and bothered. “Damn, that does sound hot.” Licking my lips, I ran a hand through the ends of my hair with a smirk, the strands tickling my jaw as they shifted and settled. “I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t for the two of you to be so intense. At least not so soon!”

“I wasn’t either,” Duo laughed, looking flushed and deeply overwhelmed by the emotions coursing through his tiny frame. “Not at all. God, Jake, it’s--so, so intense.”

I was happy for him, and I told him so as I got up off my bed, crossing over to his and dropping down beside him, arms going around his waist. “I’m happy for you...and also a little jealous,” I giggled, kissing his cheek and nuzzling his jaw to show there were no hard feelings over it. “But I have a date tomorrow, and I hope--I hope it’s that way for me and Luke too. And if it’s not…” I paused, not wanting to entertain the idea, but I had to. I had to be prepared if things didn’t work out. “If it’s not, we can’t say we didn’t try, right? And it’s not like it’ll be my first disappointment.”

“The two of you will be great together.” Duo sounded so confident I couldn’t help but feel the same, nodding in silent agreement as we snuggled into each other’s arms. “And if not--” I looked up at him, watching fondly as he set his jaw in stubborn determination. Typical Maxwell. “Well, if not, Eli’s going to have to deal with having a kitten _and_ a mouse.”

It was sweet of him to say, but I hoped it wouldn’t be necessary. As much as I loved Duo and wouldn’t complain about getting dragged into a triad with him and Eli, he deserved something that was all his own. I thought that maybe I did too, for that matter. “That’s sweet of you,” I said, “but hopefully it won’t come to that. I’m not sure you’d like sharing this one so much, from the sounds of it.”

It was light and teasing, our giggles turning soft and sleepy, our eyes heavy, the last vestiges of conversation dying out as sleep loomed over us. It was good, neither of us trying to fight it. I think some part of us knew we were going to need our rest for what was to come.


	10. Eli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week it's date time for Duo and Eli! This chapter is all about strengthening the budding relationship between our boys. Something you might find interesting is that where they go on this date actually ends up becoming a special spot for them, one they return to time after time (even so, I think this is the only chapter in this fic that features it, but don't quote me on that).
> 
> I like to think there's something for everyone here: some fluff, some sharing and bonding over past tragedies and heartbreaks, and some shameless smut. There is a brief mention of a dead parent, and discussion of the death of a child. Other than that, no major warnings for this chapter.
> 
> If you've stuck with us this far, THANK YOU! It means a lot to know that there are other people out there who care about the self-indulgent little world we've built here. We're so happy we get to share it with all of you.
> 
> -Zillah

Things with Duo were heating up quickly, but it had recently become apparent that there was a lot we didn’t know about each other yet. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the other day, about that guy who had come into the cafe to harass Duo. James, I thought I remembered Duo calling him. Talk about your typical entitled asshole. I didn’t want to push Duo for an explanation, but I knew we’d have to talk about it soon. These were things I needed to know about him, and there was plenty yet to tell him about me.

He was on his way to meet me now, and I was giddy with anticipation, sitting on the front steps of my apartment building dressed in dark blue jeans and a warm green sweater, the same one I knew brought out my eyes. I was entitled to my vanity too, wasn’t I? It was a cool evening, but a beautiful one, and I lit up as I spied Duo making his way down the sidewalk to me, his sweater a deep, dark pink, jeans wonderfully tight, hair caught in a half ponytail. He flushed as I stood and intercepted him, hands going to his narrow hips, teeth catching his full lower lip as I brought my mouth down to his in an eager kiss, one he returned with enthusiasm. I couldn’t get over how good it felt to kiss him after so much time spent dreaming about it, a fantasy I'd repeatedly entertained both in my head and in poem after poem.

“Hey, kitten. I wanna show you something,” I managed to get out, still looking at his mouth, thinking about the heat of it and how impossibly soft his lips were against mine.

Duo took my hand and linked our fingers, the sensation still new and thrilling. “Oh yeah?” His eyebrows shot up, lips quirking. “That’s not a new line, you know.”

I laughed, squeezing his hand. “No, I mean it. I really have to show you something.” Gesturing to the camper van parked by the curb, I drew Duo over to it, all the while he studied it curiously. It was simple and kind of dingy, but it was mine, and I knew my pride in it showed in my face. I wanted Duo to love it as much as I did.

“I know it doesn’t look like much, but it’s pretty cozy inside, if you can believe it.” I paused, clearing my throat. “This is the van I came here in. I haven’t had much use for it lately, but I told Luke I’d make myself scarce in case he got lucky tonight, so I figured it was a good time to clean her out and spruce her up.” I offered a hopeful smile, releasing Duo’s hand to open the back door, revealing the cozy setup I’d promised him.

The back of the van was strewn with various cushions and pillows on top of a surprisingly comfortable mattress I’d brought from home with me, warm, colorful blankets spread out along its surface. Providing soft illumination to the small space was a strand of white Christmas lights, Duo’s face bathed in their glow as I turned back to him, relieved to see him looking pleasantly surprised. “Besides,” I continued optimistically, clearing my throat. “If we’re gonna go road tripping one of these days, it’s gonna come in handy.”

Duo’s laugh was soft and startled. “Oh yeah, they have their date tonight!” His eyes remained trained on the inside of the van as he continued. “Holy shit, Eli. Did you--did you do this? This is amazing. It’s so cool.”

“I did the decorating.” I nodded, flushed with pleasure. “And for Luke’s sake, I hope it goes well tonight. He really needs to get laid.” Winking, I gestured for Duo to check the van out for himself, following him in as he took his shoes and socks off and settled cross-legged on the mattress like he belonged there. “I’m really glad you like it, though. It was a labor of love. I figured if I was gonna be traveling the country in it, I might as well make it comfortable, you know?”

“So...are we gonna go somewhere?” I’d known it was coming, smiling to myself as I closed the back door, drawing dark curtains over the windows to prevent curious passersby from looking in. 

“Do you wanna go somewhere?” I retorted, turning to face him, unable to keep a suggestive smirk from my lips. “I thought we could hang out here...or we could drive, see where we end up. I brought water...and my cigarette case.” My smirk died on my lips as Duo leaned in to steal a kiss, breath hitching as his tongue brushed the seam of my mouth, teeth grazing my lower lip.

“Let’s drive,” he breathed, tone turning wheedling as he nuzzled my jaw. “Maybe--head to a park? Find somewhere nice and quiet to smoke…” It was like he’d read my mind. I hummed, distracted from answering right away as I slid my hand into his hair and went back for another kiss, flicking my tongue against his upper lip, his fingers stroking down my arm.

“I like that idea,” I groaned. “I think I know the perfect spot, actually.” I pulled back with considerable effort, climbing into the driver’s seat and looking at him over the divide, expectant. “You joining me?”

As soon as Duo settled in the passenger seat, we were off. He was leaving the decision in my hands, trusting me not to disappoint him, and I took that trust seriously. I hoped he wouldn’t be let down by where we were going. The campground doubled as a state park, and it wasn’t far, but the ride over was full of tension, teasing, and torturous flirtation. I learned that Duo liked to be spanked, which didn’t surprise me and had me hard as a rock within seconds. Not what I wanted when I was trying to concentrate on driving. Still, we managed to learn some other things about each other, both talking about our parents. I told him about my two moms, and he told me about his late one. I was sorry to hear it, sorry to know I’d never get the chance to meet her--not just because she sounded amazing, but also because I wanted to know where, and who, Duo had come from. Sadly, Solo was the closest I was going to get.

The glimmer of moonlight on the water was a welcome sight as I pulled into the campground, parking in the trees a short distance away from the pond we were facing. I cut the engine and looked at Duo, beautiful and pale as he told me about what had happened to his mom. She’d been in an accident on her way to pick Duo up from school. It broke my heart to hear how rough his upbringing had been with his father, and Solo’s too, but I was glad they’d found each other again and that they were living together now, free from their deadbeat dad’s influence. Certainly, I understood Solo’s protectiveness of his little brother a whole lot more than I had before, and I didn’t blame him one bit for it. I felt protective enough of Duo just sitting there listening to him speak.

We crawled into the back of the van and got comfortable after that, each of us lighting up a joint. I had something to tell Duo about someone I had lost too. I hadn’t talked about it in what felt like and actually might’ve been years, mostly because it was too painful, but I wanted him to know after he’d made himself so vulnerable with me. I wanted him to feel comfortable telling me anything, wanted us to share everything with each other, no matter how difficult.

“I just want you to know,” I started, voice soft as I exhaled smoke from my last hit, legs crossed at the ankles, Duo stretched out against my side where we half-sat, half-lay propped against the pillows. “I know what it’s like to lose someone close to you. I had a little sister, Emily. Emmy. She died when I was young.” I squinted off into the distance, remembering her, absently rubbing my thumb against my lower lip, the burning joint between my index and middle fingers. “I was at the beach with my family on vacation. It was our first time seeing the ocean. She was so excited, and I--I was supposed to be watching her while our parents went off to get us ice cream.” I paused, struggling through it, chest tight. “I wasn’t watching closely enough. She drowned.”

I shifted my gaze to Duo then. He was watching me, not with pity, but with sympathy. Empathy. He sat up, violet eyes wide as he took hold of my hand, squeezing it tightly and centering me in the present. Remembering was necessary, but too vivid sometimes. I didn’t like being back on that beach.

I returned the squeeze, a small, sad smile on my lips. “I still don’t know what I was paying attention to that was more important than her. Probably some girls in bikinis. I was twelve, after all.” Admitting it made me laugh, then grow serious again. “But it still stings to think that all it took was taking my eyes off of her for one second. I looked away, and when I looked back, she was gone. Sucked under the waves and into the current.” I exhaled heavily, shaking my head and looking down, brows furrowed in a frown, still dismayed with myself after all these years. “I tried to reach her, but it was too late. By the time we got help, well…”

Another squeeze to my hand. Duo’s voice was soft, infinitely understanding and blameless. “It wasn’t your fault, Eli. You were twelve. There was--it’s shitty, but it’s just one of those things.”

He was right, and hearing him say it was the last thing I needed to finally forgive myself. I nodded, taking one last hit off the joint, then moved to open the back door of the van, flicking the butt into the grass as Duo did the same. We left the door open, looking out onto the pond, and lay back again, curling up together with ease, like it was something we’d been doing for years. “No, I know it wasn’t,” I murmured. “I’ve had a lot of time to come to terms with what happened. I just don’t talk about it a lot. It’s hard, you know? But I wanted you to know that you’re not alone.”

Duo cupped my cheeks and leaned in, brushing our mouths together. I shuddered at the tenderness of it. “Thank you. I appreciate that.” It was all he said. We kissed as I pulled him closer, my arms around his waist, our tongues meeting, licking at each other lazily. It was heaven on earth in the back of that van: the warmth of his acceptance and the feel of him against me, his hands in my hair and his forehead against mine, his breath hot and sweet.

“How do you think Jake and Luke’s date is going?” I teased, brushing his lower lip with my tongue, my hand kneading his hip. “Because I think we may need to spend the night here, if that’s alright with you.” The sound of his laughter was everything as he fell back against the mattress, sprawling there with his hands tucked under his head, smile turning shy.

“I’m okay with that. I like staying with you.” I could see his throat bob up and down as he swallowed. “I should tell you about James.” Ah, so there it was. I’d almost forgotten.

“That’s right. I meant to ask you about what happened with him. I didn’t catch the whole conversation the other day.” Undeniably curious and ready to listen, I stretched out beside him, propping my head in my hand and running the other over his stomach. It was impossible to not want to touch him at all times, which made it good to be alone with him and able to indulge that impulse. I could tell the spot was sensitive as he shuddered and arched against my hand. He liked to be pet. It was, appropriately, very kittenish of him.

Duo rolled onto his side to face me, sliding his fingers into my sweater and stroking my lower abdomen in an electric caress. I could feel my eyes hooding, heat pooling there and spreading further south. “We dated. Well. Fucked? My entire senior year, and the summer before. I don’t know. I thought we were pretty serious...and then after graduation he disappeared. Went to Europe. I found out from someone else. I guess he never thought we were serious.”

James was an ass who’d never deserved Duo, as far as I was concerned. The important thing was that he wasn't in the picture anymore. I didn't think he'd be coming back to the cafe after the way I'd chased him out of it. “What a dick.” I scoffed, the sound full of scorn, not bothering to hide how I felt. “And now he’s back and wants to pick up where you left off? He’s not incredibly bright, is he?”

Duo laughed, tracing his fingers along my waist. “No, he’s not. It’s been months since we even talked. I was never going to wait for him. He was fun, but it wasn’t really serious. I realized that after he left.”

Taking his hand, I brought it to my lips and kissed the back of it, mentally preparing for what I was about to say. I wanted to be delicate, but firm. “Good. Because I was going to say...you can do whatever you want. You have a history with this guy and, as much as I despise him from what little I’ve seen of him…” I took a deep breath, swallowing my nerves and my pride. “If you wanted to give it another shot, I wouldn’t blame you. But...I’m actually hoping you’ll give us a shot instead.” Lowering my lashes, I waited nervously, peeking up at him when I heard his breath catch. His eyes were wide, cheeks flushed as he wet his lips. I wondered why he was surprised to hear me say it, hoping I hadn’t been too vague up to this point about my feelings for him, what I wanted from him and for us. If he hadn’t known before, then at least he knew now.

“Eli,” he breathed. “I--of course. Of course I’ll give us a shot. I don’t want anyone else. Only you.”

The knot in my belly unclenched as I reached for him, pulling him against me and beaming at him with sparkling eyes. “I’m glad to hear it.” I stroked his lower back, teasing the seam of his lips with my tongue, coaxing them open. “Because I want you to be mine. No one else’s. I’m crazy about you, Duo.”

He responded just like I hoped he would, hooking an arm around my neck, the other hand on my hip, a warm, solid weight, tongue darting out to meet mine. “Yours.” He practically purred it, and that was all it took for me to press him back against the mattress with a growl, licking into his luscious mouth with a hunger that only grew by the day. It was insatiable, unstoppable.

“Mine. You’re all mine.” Delirious with happiness, I laughed against his lips, briefly grabbing the lower with my teeth, hand sliding along the back of his thigh as I hitched his knee onto my hip, then slipped that same hand under his sweater, running my nails over his ribcage. “And I want you. Right now.”

My boy was hot and eager, wandering hands sliding into my hair and groping down my back. Duo arched against me, shivering, then pulled back to look at me with hooded eyes, his tongue grazing my upper lip. “I want you. I wanted to suck you off the whole time you were driving.”

His words wrenched a groan out of me. I braced myself above him, rolling my hips down against him and looking at his mouth, plush and soft, aching to feel it on my cock. The friction between us was nearly unbearable. “Yeah?” I panted, digging my nails into his thigh. “What about now?”

Duo whined. “Now I still wanna suck you off. Wanna feel that gorgeous cock on my tongue.” He took my hand, drawing my finger into his mouth and sucking in a way that almost undid me. 

“Fuck. You’re so hot.” Impatient, I sat back on my heels and stripped my sweater off, then stretched out next to him on the mattress, thumbing my jeans open. “Do it. Put that pretty mouth on me, kitten.” I almost didn’t recognize the sound of my own voice, husky and authoritative, but giving the command came naturally to me, especially knowing how much he wanted it too. Duo moaned, wasting no time as he sat up, stripping his own sweater off, then leaning in, mouthing at my stomach and looking up at me with blown pupils. I grunted, lips curved in a grin of feral approval, and shoved my hands into his hair, watching him through my lashes as he drew my cock out of my pants, dragging his tongue over the head and sucking lightly, hand already at work stroking me. God, I was so hard for him, already dripping pre-come as he teased his tongue over me. I could have come on the spot.

“Fuck, you’ve got a beautiful cock.” He was watching me expectantly. I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I didn’t; all I could do was watch him with silent reverence, cheeks flushed dark, hips thrusting against his mouth, cock twitching under his tongue. It was too much and not enough all at once.

“Duo,” I moaned helplessly as he sucked me, hard and hungry, his hands tight on my hips. When he took me into his throat, I abandoned all thought, hips jerking helplessly. “Please.” My thighs trembled as I spread them wider, giving him more room, hands moving to his shoulders and squeezing. I could feel him swallow around me as I fucked into his perfect mouth, starting to thrust harder and faster, my self-control rapidly spiraling. He’d tell me if it was too much, too rough. I trusted him in that.

“You’re so good,” I breathed, brushing his jaw with my thumbs and swallowing hard, wanting to come but refusing to. Not yet. “When you’ve had enough of my cock down your throat, beautiful boy, I want you naked, on your hands and knees, so I can fuck that gorgeous ass of yours next. Blink if you understand.” I needed to be inside him, to feel him move on my cock again. I was addicted.

Duo blinked, once, slowly, making sure I saw it, his long, dark lashes casting shadows on his cheeks, eyes deep enough to drown in. I moved when he did, eyes glued to his bare skin, the sharp angles of his body in perfect contrast to the more delicate curves as he undressed, then sank down on all fours just like I’d asked, hips arched, ass perfectly presented. “Now. Fuck me, Daddy.” It was so demanding I almost wanted to make him wait, but I couldn’t stand to draw the foreplay out any longer, not when I wanted it just as much as he did, already imagining the slick stretch and silken slide of him on my cock. The tension between us was thick, sweet and viscous as honey. Perfect, really. But I was ready for it to come to an end.

Shoving my jeans down over my hips, I squirmed my way out of them, settling behind him with a sharp slap to the ass. I loved watching him respond, loved the way he arched into it and how his flesh pinked and warmed, leaving an impression behind in the shape of my hand. It only made me want to do it again, to see how hot and red I could get him before he was begging me. 

“You’re such a good boy. Such a good kitten.” I paused, a noticeable tremor in my voice. “I don’t think I can be gentle with you. I want you too much.”

“Want it. Ready--don’t need much. Just--slick me and go. Want you bad. Need it.”

I could feel myself grin. Even without being able to see myself, I knew it was sharp, slow, feral. I was feeling a little wild, a little unhinged as I ran a hand through Duo’s riotous hair, then down his back. “That’s my boy.” There was lube under the pillow--strategically placed, I’ll admit--and I reached for it as I nipped along the curve of Duo’s spine, getting my fingers slick. I didn’t waste any time in thrusting them into him, stretching him fast and rough with my hips pressed against the back of his thigh. My blood pounded, roared within me so fast and so fierce I could feel my cock throb with every beat of my heart.

Duo bucked on my fingers, squeezing them tight and tossing his hair to the side as he looked over his shoulder at me, eyes practically glowing. I mouthed over the back of his shoulder and pulled my fingers out of him, slicking my cock with the remaining film of lube clinging to them, lining myself up with his open entrance as he moaned. He was hairless and smooth, delicious to watch as I rose over him, taking hold of his hips with an eager grunt and thrusting into him hard and fast, flesh smacking flesh, stilling with my hips flush against his ass. “You’re such a hot, eager little thing, aren’t you? And you’re mine.” 

“Eager for you. Eli. God--you fit so good. Feel so good.” He tossed his head back, arching his hips and rolling against me with a whine. My hands were drawn to his skin as he we moved in tandem. The way we fit together was seamless. Beautiful. I ran my hands over Duo’s hips with hushed reverence, watching myself fuck him for a moment, in awe of what it was like to be with him, how rapidly it had become more than just fucking and something else entirely. Something raw and primal and right. Something born out of instinct, like we were two halves of the same whole coming together again after a long, painful separation, trying to fuse ourselves back into one being. Maybe that was just the poet in me, though. I wondered if he felt it too, breathlessly leaning in to tug his earlobe with my teeth, hips twisting against him as I pulled almost all the way out of him, then slammed back in, overwhelmed by the sheer ecstasy of it.

“You’re flawless,” I growled in his ear, lips moving from his jaw to his neck. “You feel so good. Like silk on my cock.” My arm went tight around his waist. Duo writhed underneath me, one hand sliding into my hair, the other white-knuckled where it gripped the back of the bench in front of us. I dragged my tongue over his pulse, biting down with a growl, and the sound he made--god, it went straight to my cock, driving deep into him with every snap of my hips.

“Eli. Think about you all the time.” I could hear his desperation in the high-pitched keen of his voice. Please.”

“I do too. All the time. Duo.” It was shaky, soft and tender, a stark contrast to the savagery of our fucking. My eyes were closed and my lips at his neck, tongue laving the bite marks left behind, hand sliding lower over his stomach, fingers fluttering around his cock, then wrapping around it, stroking to the rhythm we were keeping as I pounded into him, again and again. He was just as relentless as I was. Neither one of us could stop. “I dream about it,” I moaned in his ear, resting our heads together. “Making you mine. Making you come. Over and over. On my cock. In my hand. Down my throat. Everywhere. Every way. Kitten.” I shuddered, licking my lips as I rose up and pressed him down with a hand on the back of his neck, continuing to milk his cock with the other and watching with obscene anticipation. “Come for me. Moan my name. Wanna hear you.”

He cried out, bucking between my hand and cock, my name an endless moan on his lips. Some of his come dripped onto my fingers as orgasm took him, and I wasn’t far behind, my balls sore and heavy, drawn up tight to my body, thighs trembling, stomach fluttering uncontrollably. I was almost surprised by the way my own climax took me. It was violent and erotic and it took my breath away, wrenching me forward as I came, eyes wide, hips jerking erratically, filling him in molten spurts. I had so much to give. I gave him everything I had. Part of me knew then and there that I always would.

It ended after what felt like an eternity, or the blink of an eye. I groaned as I slowly came back to the present and realized I’d fallen on top of Duo, pinning his body with mine. I felt--I didn’t know how I felt. Spent. Euphoric. Alive. Alive above all things, and filled with tender emotions.

Duo moaned underneath me, hips still undulating, and then he went still, his body unresisting as my weight pressed his into the mattress. “Fuck. Oh god, Eli.” His voice was wrecked and, heavy as I felt, I shifted off of him, taking him in my arms and stroking his hair off his forehead to peer into his face. He looked as dazed as I felt, blinking mutely at him until I found my voice.

“Kitten. Are you okay?” It came out as a croak, thick and cracked.

He pressed into the hand cradling his jaw, my thumb stroking his cheek. His eyes were glassy and heavy-lidded, hands moving over my chest and shoulders. I was sensitive to the touch and pressed into it, exhaling a sigh of relief as he nodded. “Yeah. M’okay.” I’d worried for a moment that I’d been too rough with him and was glad to know that wasn’t the case.

“That was intense,” I sighed, letting out a soft, shaky laugh and cradling him close to my chest, rubbing my cheek against his hair. I kissed his forehead, his cheeks, and his lips, unable to keep from smiling as we basked in the afterglow together. Despite the fact that it was nighttime, the two of us lying in the dark in the back of my van, it felt like being bathed in sunshine.

“It was,” he agreed. I could hear the emotion in his voice, as raw as my own. “I don’t know how you keep doing that.”

“Keep doing what?”

“Being perfect.” Perfect? I wasn’t so sure about that, but I’d let him have his illusions if it meant keeping him by my side. I lowered my gaze, flushing against my will, then looked back up at him after another moment, unable to keep the adoration from my eyes as I curled my fingers in the tangled lion’s mane of his hair, other hand splayed over his lower back where it met the swell of an ass cheek. “It’s overwhelming. How tender you are.”

Shaking my head, I swallowed, collecting my thoughts, trying to articulate them even though I felt hopelessly inept at it. I loved words, but they’d never suffice in moments like this. “I guess I don’t know how to be any other way,” I finally murmured. “I don’t mean perfect. I don’t think I’m perfect. But I’ve always been a hopeless romantic. I’ve always wanted someone to take care of. Someone to share things with. Not everyone wants what I want, and I’ve experienced a lot of disappointment because of that, but that hasn’t kept me from holding out hope. And now here you are. Sometimes I think you’re too good to be true.” I bit my tongue. I was saying too much. Was I saying too much? I didn’t know how to stop myself sometimes, or stem the flow of what Duo brought out of me.

He grinned a little, and I guessed that I was okay. Good. I wasn’t scaring him away. Not yet, anyway. My fingers trailed over his skin and his trailed over mine as our lips met. The kiss was another revelation after a long night of them, slow and thorough with long, lazy brushstrokes of our tongues. “I know what you mean,” Duo said after we’d parted, his gaze hesitant and shy. “I think...it would be too easy to fall in love with you.”

My breath caught. I stared at him, wetting my lips. God, what could I say to that? I was thrilled beyond reason, and I was terrified, on top of the world with my heart in my throat. “I…” I took a deep breath, speaking slowly and deliberately so there was no chance of him mistaking me. “I feel the same way. And if you wanted to, I don’t think I could stop you. Because I don’t think you could stop me. I think whatever’s been set in motion between us is inevitable. And I’m okay with that.”

Duo rested our foreheads together, then pressed our mouths together, taking my lower lip between his teeth and exhaling a shaky laugh through his nose, clearly as relieved I was to know that we were on the same page, that our feelings for each other were mutual. “God. Good.” He draped his leg over mine, and we lay together like that for a while longer, arms locked around one another, draped in a warm, intimate silence as cozy as a flannel blanket.

We knew the night was nowhere near over, but in the meantime we talked about everything. And just when our voices were hoarse and we thought we couldn’t talk anymore, we took a late-night dip in the frigid pond. It didn’t last long, both of us running back to the van to warm up when we couldn’t stand anymore. Duo slid astride my hips and rode me, drops of icy water still clinging to our hair and skin, melting under the hiss of sweat as our bodies heated up again.

It was perfect--he was perfect--and as we fell asleep together, the last thing he said to me was “‘Night, Casanova.” I thought I could get used to it: not just the nickname, but him falling asleep in my arms.


	11. Duo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday All! Today we follow Eli and Duo to the Open Mic Night, and then onto a very magical night for the both of them! There are a few warnings here for some very, very mild references to pet play, but most of the chapter follows under the same warnings as the last ones have: some NSFW and large amounts of fluff. Just our favorite two idiots being cute. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's commented on this so far! We really appreciate knowing you guys like our dumb idiots too <3\. 
> 
> <3,  
> Amberly

The open mic came before any of us was ready. I was working with Jake that night, busy behind the bar as Eli finished setting up. He looked good, wearing jeans and flannel, hair a wild mess of curls. Gorgeous. Gorgeous and mine, I couldn’t help thinking, grinning to myself as I served the last stragglers their coffee, glancing over at Eli as he made his way onto our makeshift stage. The whole back corner was set up, and we had a pretty decent crowd. More than I think either of us expected--certainly more than Solo’d been expecting. Nadia would have loved it. Eli cleared his throat, flashing a nervous smile out at the crowd as he adjusted the mic, guitar slung over his chest. 

“Welcome, everyone, to our inaugural open mic night,” he paused, looking pleased at the applause the followed. “I’m Eli, your host, and I’ll be kicking things off tonight. It looks like we’ve got a pretty full evening lined up, so I won’t be taking up too much of your time. Thanks for coming.” He caught my eye as he started playing some upbeat acoustic song, shooting me a wink. I was too busy staring dreamily to notice Solo come in at first. It was Eli’s face that told me, the way his eyes widened, gaze flicking to me, then back to the crowd. He never faltered, though, just kept playing and singing right along. And sure enough, there was Solo, settling at a table near Eli’s stuff. 

I could just barely hear their conversation, ringing up a late-comer wanting earl grey. Eli left the stage to thunderous applause, and someone else went on, adding more noise to the cafe. But I could hear enough. Solo’s gaze flicked to me, clearly aware I was eavesdropping, even as he sipped his water bottle.

“It’s a nice turn out,” he kept his voice neutral. “I was expecting less.” 

“Thanks. Yeah, it’s great, isn’t it?” Eli was proud as he looked around the room, taking off his guitar and setting it carefully back in its case. “I handed out a lot of fliers. And Duo was a really big help, spreading word on campus.” 

“He mentioned that. It’s been a fun project for him.” Solo nudged a chair out with his foot. “Sit.  I think we should talk. And don’t worry. I’m not angry.” Eli raised his eyebrows, lips quirking.

“I’m not normally in the habit of taking orders from anyone but...alright. I’ll bite.” He snorted, settling down in the chair, arms over his chest, jaw tensed. “Guess I don't have much of a choice. You’re the boss, right?” 

“Eli,” Solo leaned in, voice warm. “Relax. I’m not angry. And I’m impressed with what you’ve done. Really. This is the busiest I’ve seen Ink’s in a while.” He paused, lowering his voice. “And this is the happiest I’ve ever seen my little brother.” Eli’s eyes widened. 

“Oh.” He relaxed, visibly slumping with relief as he let out a shaky laugh, leaning forward to rest his arms on the table. “It is? I...thanks, Solo. It means a lot to hear you say that. This whole project has become extremely important to me. In ways I never anticipated, if I’m honest.” Solo laughed, both of their gazes flicking over to me as I struggled to both serve customers and listen in. 

“Good. I’m glad. I won’t lie, I had some concerns. You’re....well. You’re older, and established. Duo’s still...he’s not a kid anymore, but he’s always going to be my kid brother. You know?” Solo laughed again, then smiled. “I just want him to be happy.” 

“I understand. You’re protective.” Eli smiled wistfully, looking away for a moment, then back at Solo. “I had a younger sister, once, and I was protective of her too, so...I get it. Your brother is a remarkable person. He deserves the best, and I want to help him get it. I don’t want to hide that from you. I’ve grown very attached to him.”

“I think you do,” Solo admitted with a smile. “He hasn’t smiled this much since our mama was alive.” He shook his head, raising his hands in surrender. “I don’t want all the details. I just need to know he’s safe and taken care of...and I think he is with you.” Solo shot me a sideways glance, then stood. “Now. Enjoy your open mic.”

“I wasn’t going to share, don’t worry,” Eli promised, eyes sparkling. “But thank you.” He looked down at the table, flushing as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m glad to hear that. And--it helps to know I have your blessing. It helps a lot, actually. Thank you. And thanks for stopping by to check it out. I’m glad you’re happy with the results.” Solo didn’t say anything to that. My big dumb brother just made his way behind the counter, cheeks dimpling as he pulled on an apron.

“Jake, I think you can go and watch. Spend some time with that hot nerd you like so much. Duo and I can man the counter.” The asshole actually put his arm around my shoulder, squeezing me in close. “We need some bonding time.” Jake didn’t even question it, the little traitor. He just shot me a look and then darted out from behind the counter, tossing his apron on its hook as he made his way over to Luke. It left me alone with Solo, who simply pushed me gently towards the register and took his place at the bar. We worked in silence, me pouting sullenly, him almost gratingly cheerful as he whistled, starting on the pre-close activities.

When Eli got up to close out the night, I was done. I wasn’t even trying anymore, standing at the bar with my arms crossed over my chest. Luckily, there weren’t any customers. Most people were finishing their drinks, leaving plates and glasses we’d have to clean up later. There was a round of applause, and then Eli shot me a nervous look, clearing his throat. 

“Okay. Before we close the book on a very successful evening, and hopefully the first of many more to come, I’d like to end things with a poem I wrote for someone special. Let’s just call him ‘the babe of all babes’.” He pulled a folded piece of paper from his back pocket, cheeks pinked. “It was inspired by a...very special evening. Without naming any names or getting into overly intimate details, here it is.” To be honest, I barely remember the poem. I leaned on the counter, elbows on it, chin in my hands, watching Eli with a smile, my own cheeks hot. It was intense, sensual and romantic, almost erotic at parts, and made even more so with the lock Eli’s eyes had on mine, both of us gazing at each other as he finished, the room hushed. My poet, standing on stage, looking startled at the thunderous applause that followed. I didn’t even wait for Solo. He could handle close, with the way he’d been torturing me all night. I slipped my apron off and made my way out of the cafe, shooting Eli a smouldering look over my shoulder. 

“I had no idea Solo was going to be there,” Eli started as he approached me at the van, guitar over his shoulder, looking sheepish. “I’m so sorry if I embarrassed you.” 

“Oh, you didn’t.” I gave him time to put his stuff away, watching him through hooded eyes. And then I struck, pushing him up against the van and raising onto my tiptoes, kissing him hard and hungry and pressing my whole body against him. He grunted, surprised, hands going to my waist as he returned the kiss, bending one knee to prop a foot up against the side of the van as he swallowed my growl. His hand ran over the curve of my waist, fingers skimming up my ribcage, then down over my hip and the outside of my thigh, slipping under the skirt of my black dress. His other arm stayed around my waist, keeping me firmly against his chest. 

“God, Eli,” I panted, licking against his mouth. “That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.” 

“You liked it, I take it?” He laughed, husky as he nipped my lower lip. “I had to decide how much detail I wanted to put into it. I thought that struck a decent balance between too much and not enough.”

“Oh, I liked it. God.” I couldn’t stop kissing him, tugging his lower lip with my teeth, then drawing it into my mouth, sucking on it eagerly. Sliding his hand into my hair, he tugged gently, leaning in to meet my gaze. 

“That’s not the only surprise I have tonight. Are you free?” 

“I’m yours for the rest of the night,” I promised. “As long as you want me.” 

“I want you all night and then some. Come on. You wanna drive somewhere?” 

“I do. You know I’ll go anywhere with you.” I laughed, eyes sparkling as I raised up to kiss his cheek. “Maybe we can go to the lake?” I waggled my eyebrows at him, drawing away and heading to the front of the van. Eli closed the back of the van, then slid into the driver’s seat next to me.

“We can do that. It’s our place now, isn’t it?” Reaching across the seat, he squeezed my hand, then started the engine, steering us one handed out of the parking lot. I couldn’t help the shiver that went through me at his words. Our place. I wanted every place to be our place. I loved the sound of it, and I know he did too, releasing my hand to stroke the nape of my neck. The only thing that would’ve been better would’ve been our own apartment, but we weren’t there. Not yet. It was close though. Everything felt close with Eli. I’d never felt anything like this, the intensity. The constant need to touch him, or taste him. It was the only excuse I had as my hand made its way from his knee to the top of his thigh, his knees falling open. Flicking the cruise control on, Eli returned my hot look, tightening the hand at the back of my neck, tugging at me as he bucked his hips. 

“That’s right, kitten. You know what I want. You’re so perfect I don’t even have to ask--you already know.” 

“I already know what you want because I want it too,” I shot back, amused, leaning in to give him a biting kiss. Fumbling with his jeans, I drew his cock out, taking it into my mouth as he dug his nails into my neck, hips bucking up against me. I’d been thinking about this since the last time we’d gone to the lake, and it seemed like he had been too. The fingers in my hair were tender, almost affectionate as they cupped the back of my head, his hips moving eagerly against my mouth. I could only imagine his face, the white-knuckle grip he had on the steering wheel. Somehow he kept the van on the road, making it the few short miles to our campsite without driving into a tree. Then both hands slid into my hair, his body loose and pliant beneath me. He came almost immediately, spilling into my mouth with a cry, thighs tensed. 

“God you taste good,” I breathed, soft and dreamy as I leaned in to run my mouth along his jaw. Eli pulled me in for a kiss, licking out against my tongue, panting as he let me go.

“Whenever you want more, you just let me know. It’s all for you, babe,” he winked, running both hands through his hair, looking around at the campsite. “We’re here. Come on, kitten. Let’s go on back and I’ll give you your presents.” I wasn’t going to argue with that. Kicking off my flats, I wiggled over the seat and into the back, sprawling out in my dress. He joined me, unbuttoning his flannel to reveal a white tank top, riffling around the back of the van. Running a hand through his hair, he shot me a nervous look through his lashes, then drew out a couple of small packages from a compartment underneath the floor. 

“Here, open this one first. It’s...I would think it’s too early for something like this if we hadn’t already talked about it,” he smiled, still worrying his lower lip with his teeth as he leaned back against the pillows, trying to look cool. Presents were not something I was ready for, and I had a feeling I was especially not ready for whatever was in that box. Tucking a lock of hair over my ear, I took the box, looking at him with wide eyes. I inhaled, then started to rip into it, going slow, cheeks flushed. I wondered if I looked as gobsmacked as I felt, aware of every part of myself, and especially of Eli, the way he was watching me, whole body stilled in anticipation. It was. Black and purple, with polka dots and a bow and a little tag reading “Kitten” on it. Every part of me melted. My eyes prickled as I looked up at him, feeling impossibly flushed. 

“Oh,” I swallowed past the hitch in my voice. “Eli--it’s perfect.” 

“I meant it when I said I want you to be mine. I don’t want you to have any doubts about that, Duo.” He was so soft. So sincere. I started at the collar, nodding silently, unable to speak. Scooting closer to him, I turned, pulling my hair up with one hand, offering the collar back to him. Eli got the message immediately. He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to the back of my neck, then taking the collar from me. Trembling, I waited as he gently set the collar around my throat, fingers grazing the skin as he fastened it, infinitely tender. Eli pressed another kiss to the skin above the collar, then settled back. 

“Now turn around and let me see you.” I almost didn’t. I was so overcome. And when I turned around to face him, running a finger along the collar as I exhaled, I could see he was too. He damn near lit the whole van up, hands coming up to cover his mouth. He reached for me, drawing me in to press our lips together, hand cupping the side of my neck, stroking the fabric with his thumb. “You look perfect. You’re beautiful, and you’re mine.” 

“Yours,” I returned, sincere and emphatic as I rested my hands on his stomach, eagerly chasing him for another kiss. He let me. More than let me, holding me close, hand running through my hair. There were still more presents--more things this gorgeous man had seen, thought of me, and bought. Eli was more unsure about these, letting me know that he’d kept the receipt. And he was halfway right: I didn’t usually wear cat ears, or a tail. But the idea was cute, and the ears were cute, and I really liked the idea of being ready for him--at anytime. I told him that, and he laughed, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. 

“I’m not sure it’s normally my thing either, “ He admitted, brow furrowing. “Or at least it never has been. But I saw them together, and I have to admit. The thought of you wearing them for me almost made me need a moment to myself right there in the store.” Flushing, he cleared his throat, making me laugh. “I figured they could be fun for play sometimes, if nothing else.” It didn’t take much more than that to get me onboard, setting the ears on my head and settling in the fiddle of the van, kneeling for him. 

He was on me before I had a chance to finish talking, hooking his fingers in my collar and tugging me in for a kiss. I went willingly. I did everything willingly, with him, hungry for every touch, every kiss. I’d never felt anything like this for anyone before, a slow simmer in my blood. His green eyes were dark, already glassy, mouth and hands touching every part of me as I surrendered to the passion between us. The hazy whispers and pleas for more, my hands just as greedy against his skin as I tugged him closer, needing everything he could give me. Eli took me to pieces, slowly, making sure I knew every second that it was him. His hands, his mouth, the steady thrust of his hips as I soared to completion, crying out his name and spilling between us. I was still flying when he came, face against my neck. I clung to him, holding him tightly as he quaked against me, kissing his temple, the soft curve of his cheek. My fingers slid into his hair, curling against his scalp as I brushed my lips to anything the could reach, panting hard. He was stilling, trembling hands running over my shoulder, sliding over my hair. 

“God--I love you.”

“Duo. I love you too. I love you. God--” he froze, pulling back. My heart dropped, anxiety rushing in until I looked at his face, the hopeful shock etched into his features. “Wait--you do?” 

“I do,” I bit my lip, watching him though my lashes. He wasn’t getting it, still staring at me. Watching as I cupped his cheek, drawing him in for a tender kiss. “I do.” 

“You do.” He laughed, grinning ecstatically at me, voice rough and husky. Rolling us onto our sides, he tugged me closer, one arm tight around my waist, the other cupping my face, thumb tracing the line of my cheekbone. He looked like a teenager, bashful and excited, suddenly too big for his skin in the way all boys are when they’re young and in love. “You do. It happened so fast. I didn’t expect it.” 

“I know it’s fast,” I agreed, nuzzling into his hand, looking up at him warmly. “But I don’t--it’s just you. For me.” His laugh was delighted, lower lip trembling as he trapped it under his teeth. There was no doubt that he felt the same way. Not anymore. He kissed me again, slow and sweet, then rested our foreheads together, tangling our fingers and keeping them against his chest. “I’m in love with you. You’re all I want.” My poet. My Casanova. I still wasn’t sure I deserved any of this, but I didn’t have it in me to protest. He looked as emotional as I felt, both of staring at each other in the wake of my big mouth. 

The rest of the night was a dream. We made plans to travel, talked about the kind of lives we wanted. Making art, and music, and love, just the two of us in his van as we worked our way through the world. A family, one day. Somewhere out of the city, where we could stretch and breathe and run naked through the grass at night. There was something magnetic about him, something that had drawn me in from the moment we met. The conversation from our first time came back to me as I settled on his lap, serenading him and running my hands through his hair. When he took me for a second time, it was slower. Felt like more, my back against his chest as his hands settled on my hips, lips against my neck, brushing over my collar. That small phrase had changed everything, both of us bare before each other. 

“Goodnight, love.” Eli murmured against my hair as we curled around each other, his arm over my waist, fingers tracing lazy patterns over my lower back, the swell of my ass. He pressed a kiss to my cheek, then my forehead, eyes slowly shutting. I kept one hand in his hair, the other wrapped around his shoulders, keeping him firmly against me as I rubbed my nose against his cheek, already drifting off. 

“Goodnight, Casanova.” 


	12. Eli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to our weekly update! There's not much to preface this week's chapter. Not much happens plot-wise, but that's okay, because things are going to take a turn in a couple weeks. Compared to some of the other chapters we've posted recently, this one's relatively short and sweet and full of enough fluff to make your teeth ache. There's also a steamy little shower bit, because who doesn't love those? What can we say, our boys just can't keep their hands off each other. ;) Thanks, as always, for reading. Hope you enjoy! -Zillah

It had been a long day. The thing about being a street musician is that, while it’s a decent way to make a few bucks in a quick pinch, it’s not the most reliable source of day-to-day income. So far, I loved New York, but the locals were so cynical (and in such a constant, dizzying rush) that they didn’t look twice at me most days. Also, there’s no accounting for the weather. After the events of today, I was thinking I might stick to the subway for a little while.

I was soaked to the skin, teeth chattering by the time I made it home, lacking an umbrella and having braved the last few blocks in a downpour that’d sprung up out of nowhere. All I wanted was to get changed, warm up, have a glass of wine. The flowers on the kitchen table, however, informed me I had other plans. Plans with a pop of freckles and the prettiest eyes I’d ever seen.

I set my guitar case down and wrung my wet hair out over the sink, thinking the flowers had to be a mistake--or a gift from Luke to Jake that hadn’t made it to the cafe yet. Still, I couldn’t help my curiosity. I went to the table, spotted the card in the middle of the bouquet, and, with a furtive look around to make sure I wasn’t being watched, plucked it out and opened it up. It was Duo’s handwriting, instantly recognizable. The note was short and sweet and brought a smile to my face:

“To Casanova, <3 Your Kitten” 

I could feel my eyes widen, my cheeks pink with pleased warmth. Talk about unexpected. I’d never received flowers before. All I could do for several minutes was stare dumbfounded at the arrangement of vibrant spring blooms, a dopey grin stretching my cheeks like taffy. I had to text Duo immediately, had to thank him, tell him I loved them, and as I pulled my phone out of my pocket to do so, my heart raced. I was still getting used to that feeling, the helpless, almost childlike excitement that accompanied every interaction with him. Snapping a photo of the flowers, I sent it in a text, the exchange that followed keeping me glued to the screen.

_Eli: Is this your doing?_

_Duo: It might be._

I could tell he was smug, practically radiating it through the phone, as he should be. I’d been taken off guard in the best way possible. 

_Eli: They’re gorgeous, Duo. Thank you. No one’s ever sent me flowers before._

_Duo: Gorgeous flowers for my gorgeous Casanova. <3 I’m just glad you like them._

It was hard to know what to say next, so instead of replying right away, I sent him a selfie. My expression conveyed how overwhelmed I was, hand on my cheek, that cheek (and the other, and my whole face, really) blushing furiously.

_Eli: I really like them. See? You made me blush. I thought they were from Luke to Jake at first, so you totally surprised me._

_Duo: There you are. What a gorgeous Casanova. And he's all mine. <3️ I'm saving that picture as my lock screen. But really--I'm glad you like them. I've never bought anyone flowers before, but I wanted to do something romantic for you...you deserve it as much as I do._

_Eli: I'm even redder now. It's not fair. Honestly, I had such an awful day, and this made it so much better. Coming home to this was amazing. I'd offer to come pick you up so we could go somewhere, but I'm soaking wet and need a shower and something hot._

_Eli: You know...you're more than welcome to come over if you'd like. I could properly express my gratitude. But I understand if you don't want to go out in this weather._

_Duo: Aww, I'm sorry to hear that. I can head over in about half an hour, once class is over. Then you can thank me all you want._

_Eli: Really? You'd do that for me? Goddamn, I love you. <3 Should I wait to shower...? Or is it true that kittens don't like water?_

_Duo: Well if you're still in there when I get there I guess you'll find out, won't you. ;)_

_Eli: Hmm. I suppose I'll eat my soup first then. And leave the door unlocked...hopefully my neighbor doesn't try to get in the shower with me before you do. I’m not so sure I like the way she ogles me. Either way, I think I'll take my chances. ;)_

_Duo: She'd better not. She and I will have words. I'll see you in a bit._

_Eli: Oh, you could totally take her. See you soon. :)_

I was in the shower an hour later, belly blissfully full of grilled cheese and tomato soup, when I spied Duo’s silhouette through the shower curtain. I knew the slope of his shoulders, the way his arms hung down by his sides, the jut of his hips, the shape of his hair. I knew his smell too, sandalwood, vanilla, and the natural musk of his skin. If you asked me to qualify it, I couldn’t say that he smelled particularly masculine or feminine to me...he just smelled like Duo. Better than rain or woodsmoke. Better than gasoline or fresh-cut grass. Better than blueberry muffins or hot coffee. Better than everything.

“Who’s there? Mrs. Murray?” I called out, referencing the aforementioned neighbor woman. Luckily, she lived on the first floor, and I lived on the third, so the ogling wasn’t that bad. Mostly I just liked any excuse to tease Duo. “Ma’am, I’m very sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Duo was pressed against my back by the time I was through, warm and naked, murmuring a soft “Hey, there” against my shoulder blade in a way that tickled and tingled and made my toes curl against the bath mat. Then he was laughing, my joke catching up with him, a joyful peal that echoed off the tile and touched something deep in me, shed some light on the darkness there. It was a darkness so old I was used to it. A darkness like an old friend, something that had been around since Emmy died. It was amazing how much lighter I felt without it when Duo was around. I turned to face him, an unapologetic grin on my lips as I pushed my hands through my sopping hair, rinsing the last of the shampoo from it. 

“Oh, it’s only you.” I leaned in, kissing him firmly on the mouth as he rose up on tiptoe to meet me, arms winding around my neck. “There’s my kitten. Buyer of flowers and stealer of hearts.”

“Not hearts so much as one heart,” he countered, rubbing his nose against mine. “And I hope I already have it.”

I slid my arms around his waist, pulling him against me, savoring his skin against mine in all that sultry steam. “You do. And if I had more than one heart, the rest would be yours too.” Remembering why he was there, I kissed his nose, feeling unusually shy. “Thank you again, by the way. They’re beautiful, just like you. I’m going to keep them forever.” It was my full intent to keep that promise, to press those flowers between the pages of a book and never let them go. 

Duo’s cheeks bloomed with color, smile bright and beaming. “Yeah? You wouldn’t have to give them,” he said, matter-of-fact and confident on the subject of my theoretical, multiple hearts. “I’d win them, you know.” He paused, biting his lip, nose scrunching in a way that made me want to kiss it again. He felt shy too, I realized. Clearly, neither one of us was accustomed to the giving or receiving of flowers. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you like them, love.”

I brought us back to familiar territory with a kiss to his neck, lips moving against his skin in a way that bordered on worship, fingers curling in the damp ends of his hair. Every time I touched him, it felt like praying, like finding a religion I’d spent my whole life looking for, one that had never existed until now because we’d created it together. “How was your day?”

The touches continued as we held each other, his lips moving from my cheek to my temple, hands gliding up my chest, thumbs brushing my nipples in a way that made me arch into him without having to think about it.

“It was okay. Long. I’m just glad I didn’t have to work tonight. It seems like we never have enough time.”

“I know.” I smothered him with more kisses, stringing them along his collarbone, hands stroking his hips as I changed course, mouthing down his chest on my way to my knees. “We should go away for a weekend. Soon. You just let me know when you’re free. What do you think?”

Duo purred, and the sound went straight to my cock. “I can be free anytime you want.” I made him whine then, my teeth scraping his stomach, that sensitive part of his navel I knew drove him crazy when I paid any attention to it. “Gorgeous,” he shuddered, his fingers in my hair. You look so gorgeous. I can’t believe you’re mine.” It felt good to be wanted as much as I wanted him.

“Let’s go then.” I surprised myself by blurting it out, looking up the length of his torso at him. “This weekend. After you get out of school. Let's just...let’s just take off and drive upstate, into the mountains or something. We could rent a cabin. If you want.”

It wasn’t a bad idea--in fact I thought it was a great idea, one of the best I’d ever had--but I wasn’t sure that he’d go for it, or if he even could. Duo probably had to work, and Solo might not be so keen on the idea of letting his baby brother take off on a sex romp in the woods with a guy he’d met only a handful of times and wasn’t sure he could trust yet. I swallowed, arousal and anxiety churning in my stomach as I rubbed my cheek against his thigh, waiting for his answer and trying not to look too pathetic or pleading.

Duo looked startled and, if I was honest, a little too distracted by what I was doing to him to think straight. But he stroked my cheek, breathless and flushed as he answered, “Yeah. I wanna.” His fingers tightened in my hair, his knees quivering as I tilted my head, dragging my tongue up the side of his stiff cock, fingers sliding between his thighs. 

“I’ll take care of everything,” I inched closer to him, took his hips in my hands and pressed him up against the shower wall, my mouth finding the inside of his thigh as he spread his legs and tipped his head back against the tile, moaning hungrily. “Don’t worry about a thing, okay? You work so hard, babe. You deserve a break. Let me give it to you.” And that was that. We didn’t need to discuss the matter further, both of us quieting, my mouth too full of him to speak.

First it was the sweet, soft skin of his inner thigh, where I left bite marks behind, then the head of his cock, dripping honey on my tongue. I ran my hand up the back of Duo’s thigh and guided his leg over my shoulder, giving myself better access to him, the other hand keeping his hip pinned to the wall. His hands were in my hair as I looked up at him and took him deeper into my mouth, and my name was on his lips, tumbling from them over and over, an echoed, amplified plea.

“Eli! Please--wanna come for you.” He was keening, writhing, looking down at me with hooded eyes as I worked his cock, rubbing my tongue against his flesh and growling at the taste of him, my nails scraping his ass as I cupped both cheeks, yanking his hips against my mouth, nose full of his scent. Despite his pleas, I continued to draw on his cock in hungry pulls, cheeks hollowing around him, but finally I looked up again, giving him a barely perceptible nod of permission. My fingers slipped lower, cradling his balls, gently squeezing his sack to send him over the edge. 

His cry nearly shattered me. It was wild, his body bowstring taut, thighs trembling violently, nails sharp against my scalp as he arched into my mouth. I held him tightly, making sure he didn’t fall as he spilled down my throat, then slumped spent against the wall. I could only moan as I swallowed, the salty-sweet taste of him on my tongue, then sat back on my heels and licked my lips, offering a devilish grin and a husky tease. “Have I thanked you for the flowers yet?”

Duo laughed weakly, then slid down the wall like a ragdoll. I wrapped my arms around him, cradling him to me, rubbing my cheek against his hair with a smile on my lips. “Oh, love,” he murmured. “Seeing how happy they made you was more than enough.”

Brushing our mouths together, I smiled. “They made me very happy. But I wanted to blow you anyway.” Getting to my feet, I drew him up with me, wrapping him in a towel before I tended to myself. We talked some more on the way back to my room, discussing how I’d recently started to get into photography. It was a newly budding interest. I didn’t know anything about it yet, but I wanted to explore--mostly, I wanted to take pictures of Duo. I flushed as I told him so, packing a bowl from my perch on the couch in the comfy corner of my bedroom, towel wrapped around my hips, water dripping from my curls and onto the cushion beneath me.

“I want to take pictures of you...and us. And I thought it could be fun to work on different projects together. Make some art.” I shrugged, settling the bowl aside and worrying my lower lip between my teeth. “It’s well--I don’t know.” Sighing, I raked my hands through my hair, eyes darting to him then back to the packed bowl on the table in front of me. “Maybe it’s stupid. Does that--does that sound stupid?” I winced as I glanced at him, looking as unsure as I felt. “I don’t really know what I’m talking about yet.”

“You never sound stupid,” Duo reassured me, hands sinking into my hair as he came to stand in front of me. I laid my hands on his hips, listening. “I love that idea. I can’t--I don’t do photography well. But we could so something with mixed media. You take some pictures. I paint something. We can combine them.” It was exactly what I’d been thinking, and I nodded eagerly as we continued to brainstorm ideas, passing the bowl back and forth, Duo lounging in my lap.

Eventually, he excused himself from the room, returning a minute later with his sketchbook. He seated himself on my lap again, back against my chest, and I wrapped my arm around his waist, settling my chin on his shoulder. To be honest, I was surprised to see the sketchbook, because I knew how personal and private my lover’s drawings were. I was curious, of course, but I’d never thought it appropriate to ask to see them. I’d always figured he’d show me if and when he was ready. Apparently, he was now, and his trust in me was the greatest gift I could’ve asked for.

He flipped through the pages, then stopped, letting them spread open. As I caught sight of the sketches there, my breath caught in a way that was almost painful. They were all of me, small, lovingly-rendered studies of different parts of my body. Some were just of my eyes, or my lips. Some were of my hands, and there was one of the curve of my hip. I didn’t know what to say. “Are these all of me?” was about all I could manage.

Duo nodded and continued flipping pages, the pictures becoming more erotic with every turn. There were some of me sleeping naked, some of my face in the unmistakable throes of orgasm. The details were so lifelike, the memory of those moments so vivid they made me blush. “I can’t draw anything else,” he said softly, looking shyly at me. “Just you. And the lake.”

I nuzzled his neck, swallowing hard. “These are amazing. Do I really look like this to you?” I knew I was attractive, but I’d never seen myself like this, not in the same the way he saw me. He’d made me beautiful. Maybe I had been all along. Honestly, I’d never really thought about it before, never classified myself in the same category as all the things I found lovely or worthy of art.

Duo shook his head. “No. I don’t do you justice at all. I’m not good enough to really sketch you.” I disagreed, emphatically, sliding a hand into his hair and drawing him into an ardent kiss that had us moaning into each other’s mouths, licking against each other’s tongues. I was panting when I pulled back, stroking under his ear with my thumb, eyes dark and intent, cheeks hot.

“It’s not true,” I murmured. “No one else could capture me so well. You’re more talented than you realize, Duo. You don’t give yourself nearly enough credit. I love the way you see things. The way you see me.”

We stroked each other’s skin as we sat there, touching and smoking, talking about our plans for our weekend away, all the love and art we wanted to make, lost in the woods together. All I had to do was find a cabin and make the arrangements, but I wasn’t worried about it. Everything with Duo had been easy since he’d come into my life. A road trip just was the next logical step in our journey together, something we’d been talking about for weeks, and it was clear we both felt the same as lazy caresses and kisses led to thoughtful, deliberate ones; as I carried him to bed and we made love, slow and stoned, tangled up in twisted sheets; as, holding hands, we finally fell asleep.


	13. Duo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday to All!! For today’s update, we have quite a bit of smut, with fluff stirred in. Duo and Eli get their getaway weekend and grow even more disgustingly in love. 
> 
> This is the last happy chapter for a while, just FYI! Duo alludes to that at the bottom, but the next chapter will officially start some Drama. 
> 
> Massive massive thanks to the people reading this and leaving comments! We really appreciate it! These characters are so close to our hearts, and it’s amazing to see other people loving them the way we do. 
> 
> <3, Amberly.

Excitement didn’t even begin to cover how I felt as I knocked on Eli’s door, bag over my shoulder. Miraculously, everything fit inside of it. Not that I brought a lot: just my paints and chalks, and a couple of cute outfits. We’d be spending most of our time in the cabin, I thought, so I didn’t bring a whole bunch to wear, and what I did bring was rolled up and tucked away, my bag full to bursting as I bounced on Eli’s doorstep. He opened the door looking just as excited as I felt, ushering me in with a grin on his face.

“Hey!” He leaned in, kissing me on the cheek. “I’m almost ready, kitten. I just need to throw a few more things in a bag and then I’ll be all set. You excited?” I was more than excited, grinning as I tucked a loose lock of hair behind my ear, the collar he’d bought me snug around my neck.

“Yeah, I’m excited. This is gonna be so great. I brought some paints, and my chalks. I’ve been thinking about this all week.”

“So have I.” Eli smirked at me, then kissed my forehead, tugging me towards his bedroom. There was a black duffel bag already packed and sitting on his bed, an open suitcase beside it. “I went out and bought a camera yesterday. It’s supposed to be good for a beginner, so we’ll see what we get out of it. I brought some really nice pens, too. And an actual quill and ink.” The grin he shot me was sheepish, hands running through his hair, then settling on his hips as he stared into the suitcase. “No, I think I’m ready. I’m just overthinking it.”

“I like the sound of that,” I bit my lip, trying to ignore the shiver running through me. I liked writing--being written on. And the thought of a quill was doing a lot more for me than I’d thought it would. Grinning at him, I nodded to the door. “Come on, Casanova. Let’s get out of here.” Eli caught my hand, kissing my fingers, then letting them go. He zipped his suitcase, slinging his duffel bag over over his shoulder, winking at me. I had a pretty good idea what was in the bag, and he confirmed it as he offered his arm to me, leading me out to the waiting van. He loaded the van without my help, chattering on about the cabin he’d rented. An upstate affair, near a ski resort, and still covered with snow. I hadn’t seen snow in forever--what was left in the city was usually a crunchy, grey sludge. Nothing I wanted to spend time in.

“This is going to be amazing,” I laughed, leaning in to kiss Eli’s cheek. “I can’t wait.” He leaned into me, pressing me back into the seat and stealing another kiss, pulling back with a boyish grin.

“I can’t wait either. I’ve never taken someone on a trip like this before, so I’m also kind of nervous. That’s why I was so paranoid about forgetting something.” His expression turned sheepish. “I have to warn you, it’s a four hour drive. So we’ll be getting in pretty late. But hopefully it’ll be worth it.” Four hours was pretty late--the sun was already starting to set, the sky painted in reds and oranges. But it would be worth it--we’d get to spend the weekend together, just us. No one else. I hadn’t really been on vacation since before mom died. Eli led us out onto the road, and we chatted about our plans, laughing together over the possibilities. It was warm, comfortable in a way I couldn’t remember ever feeling with another person. Stretching my belt as far as it could go, curling tight against his side.

“I love the sound of it. Naked and making art.” I shot him a shy smile, wrapping my arm around around his waist. “I still can’t believe you’re real sometimes. You want to do the same things I want to do, and you’re so romantic you make me blush just thinking about it.”

“Well,” Eli shook his head, flushed from the praise. “Let me know if it starts to get annoying. I’ll change tactics.” I fell asleep soon after that, Eli’s hand stroking up and down my arm, the two of us listening to some mix on my phone. When I woke, it was to Eli shaking me, his lips brushing my temple.

“We’re here,” it was whispered, his gaze fixed on something out of view. I roused slowly, looking around in awe. It was perfect, this tiny cabin nestled in the woods, with a wraparound porch and snow all over everything.

“Holy shit,” I breathed. “Oh my god, Eli. This is gorgeous.” I shivered as I slipped out of the van, wishing I hadn’t packed my coat. Eli was there in an instant, wrapping his arm around my shoulders to keep me warm, kissing my cheek.

“I didn’t have much time to plan, but I wanted this to be special. Come on,” he squeezed me tightly, then made his way towards the back of van. “Let’s get you inside. I called about an hour ago to make sure there was a fire going, and there are some groceries for the morning, too. We have everything we need.” It certainly sounded like it. Beaming at him, I followed him around, grabbing my bag and heading towards the house with a bounce in my step. It was even more beautiful inside, the main space open and warm, a fire crackling away. It was cozy, the decor a little rustic, and everything I could’ve expected from a cabin in the woods. Eli looked just as awed as I did, pausing in the entryway to stare with me.

“Wow,” I breathed. “You really went all out.” Eli laughed from beside me, leading me towards the bedroom.

“Well, I did briefly consider a small shack in the woods, but the lack of indoor plumbing really put me off.” Winking at me, he set his bags on the bed, looking around the small bedroom. The walls were done in warm, earthy colors, everything dark wood, and he looked perfectly at home there, a smile pulling at my lips as I watched. “Honestly, though? I’ve never--there’s never been anyone to do this for. I’m making up for lost time, the way I see it.” He shot a look at me through his hair as it tumbled over his forehead, leaning forward to unpack his suitcase. God, he was gorgeous. Gorgeous and romantic and still shy, somehow, even after everything.

“Yeah...I know what you mean.” I tugged my boots off, then my socks, then began unpacking my own stuff, humming to myself as I did. Finished with that, I stripped, glad to see him doing the same thing. Shaking my hair out of its braid, I dove under the blankets, and right into his arms, lips curving in a warm smile as I did so.

“Playtime officially starts tomorrow,” he murmured, winking at me. “I want you to wear the collar all weekend. And the plug, as often as possible.”

“You didn’t even check to see if I’m plugged,” I teased, draping my arm around his waist as I leaned in. I was already wearing the collar, something I knew he approved of.

“Well,” he started, pressing a kiss to the top of my head as he snuggled close to me, “that’s because once I get started, I know I won’t be able to stop.” Reaching for the lamp, he turned it off, running his fingers through my hair. “Now go to bed and don’t tease me, kitten.” I huffed, curling onto my side and pillowing my head on his chest. It was hard not to pout. I was getting real used to regular sex, and parts of me were really insistent that Eli being so close meant we should be having some. But I still closed my eyes, pressing close to him.

“Goodnight, Casanova.”

* * *

 

I woke first. The sunlight was spilling in through the window, catching in my lover’s dark curls. It was cold, a chill in the air even as I snuggled closer to him, fingers running up his bare chest and stomach, idly running along the waistband of his pants. He stirred at the touch, one arm curled above his head, letting out a sleepy hum as I brushed my lips over his jaw, his own lips curving into a smile, his sleep-slurred question about time equal parts arousing and endearing. Answering vaguely, I slipped my fingers into his boxers, wrapping them around his cock as I grazed his pulse with my teeth, sucking lightly.

“Oh--oh--” he inhaled sharply, eyes open wide. “Morning to you too, babe.” My hand was already full of him, his moan husky and thick with sleep, eyes slipping shut as he made more room for my mouth, hips thrusting against my hand. It was painfully erotic, my lips grazing his skin. I nipped and sucked along the line of his throat, stroking him slow and teasing. Wrapping his arms around my waist, Eli pulled me closer, hand sliding down the curve of my ass, his hips rolling against my hand. “Someone woke up in a mood. God, I could get used to this.”

“A very good mood,” I teased, pressing into his hand. I slid over him, straddling his hips and bracing one hand next to his head. Running my fingers over his cheek, then down his neck and chest, watching as he watched me, arching with a soft hiss. Then his hands were on me, stroking over my neck, running down my back. Thumb toying with a nipple, I ground back against him, arching into his touch and panting hard.

“I thought you might wanna wake up call.” I grinned breathlessly down at him, hissing as his fingers slid against the plug. “I was gonna blow you but...you know how I like to ride.”

“I do,” he agreed with a nod, eyes hooded. Wetting his lips, he pressed his fingers more firmly against me, using the plug to work me open, slow and easy. He licked up the front of my throat, easing the plug out and thrusting his fingers in, my hands tightening in his hair. I was ready for him. It felt like I was always ready for him, keening softly as I rode his fingers, his teeth scraping my skin as he curled his fingers.

I didn’t have to be told to ride him twice, steadying his cock with my hand. It was bliss, sinking onto his cock. I swiveled my hips, mouth dropped open as I tossed my head back, eyes shut. He was watching me. I could feel him, could see him as I slit my eyes open, the gaze of wonder and awe on his face sending a shock of arousal through me. He was beautiful, brows knit in pleasure, his hands stroking over my skin, sliding up my back to hold on, fingers digging into the space between my shoulder blades. Biting my lip, I rode him slow and hard, gradually picking up the pace as my hands ran over his chest, down his sides, then back up, brushing his nipples with my thumbs and teasing them to hardness. And he let me, matching my pace, hands settling on my hips as the twist of my hips became frantic, hair stuck to my skin.

The angle change as he sat up had me crying out, my hands bracing on his chest, knees planted next to his hips. I brushed our mouths together as he ran his hand from my tailbone to the nape of my neck, squeezing gently as his tongue sought mine. I was lost in it, the frenzied roll of our bodies together, the taste of him on my tongue, and when he told me I could come I did, crying out his name, head thrown back in bliss. I was wrecked, shuddering as I felt his hips snap into me, felt him follow me over the edge with the same hoarse cry, fingers stroking over my stomach. And then we both slumped, sprawling out on the bed together as I caught his mouth in another kiss, deep and needy, every inch of me pressed against him.

“That is one hell of a way to wake up,” he breathed, voice quavering as he ran his thumb along my jaw, skin sweat-slick. “This is what I want every day with you.” His other hand was buried in the tangled mass of my hair, holding tightly as I leaned into his touch, watching him through my lashes.

“I want that too. I want this--every day. I want--I want to wake up with you, and fall asleep with you, and to know you’re here.” I sighed, kissing his jaw. “I just want you.” The sigh I got in return was happy, Eli’s arms wrapped around me, holding me close as he peppered my face with kisses.

“I love you, Duo. I really do. I love that idea, you being the first thing I see in the morning...the last thing at night…” His fingers stroked over my shoulder, making no move to get up as he continued. “So art today, yes? Should we get up and check out the digs first? We didn’t see much of it before we passed out. Apparently there’s a hot tub on the deck.”

“A hot tub?” I grinned at him. “That sounds amazing.” Eli stretched, then got out of the bed, leaving his boxers behind as he padded naked to the door, stepping out into warm, golden sunlight streaming into the hall.

“Oh, wow. Come look at this!” He stood by the window, blinking rapidly. Turning, he held his hand out for me. “I can’t believe this view.” I was with him in an instant, squeezing his hand and settling at his side. We both fell silent as we gazed out the window, taking in the snowy forest and sloped mountains before us. It was beautiful. I didn’t think I’d ever see anything that beautiful before, stepping closer to the window, nose practically against the glass.

“This is amazing.”

“It’s pretty remarkable,” Eli agreed, gaze fixed on my face. “We have views like this in Michigan, but it honestly never gets old.” He shot me a curious look. “Have you ever been out of the city?”

“No. I was in New Orleans, and then with Solo. I’ve never lived anywhere like this...and I’ve only ever really driven through it before.” I laughed, shooting him a warm look. “The closest was when we went to Disney. I was 8.”

“Well, that’s it. We’re playing in the snow before we leave. You have to get the full experience.” His expression was intense before he snorted, lips quirking. “Somehow I keep forgetting New Orleans. I don’t know how. My little Cajun kitten.”

We explored the rest together, making plans for the hot tub as we roamed the cabin. What we saw reinforced my original impression. It was cozy, and a little rustic, with huge windows and tons of natural light. I wasn’t too sure about the cold, but I loved the cabin. The kitchen especially, which was huge. Eli’d brought wine, of course, and the kitchen was stocked with the basics. When I complained about being hungry, Eli leaned back against the counter, running his eyes over me, expression serious.

“Would you like to cook us breakfast, kitten? I’ll put the coffee on.” It was mildly put, but there was something there that seemed almost like an order. Smiling sweetly at Eli, I made my way to the fridge.

“Sure, Daddy. But I hope you like eggs. I don’t know how to cook much else.”

There was no response to that.

* * *

 

It was much later when I spread the white sheet out on the floor. We were both naked, Eli propped up against the wall watching me. He’d already set the mood music, the sunlit living room full of our song.

“What all did you bring?”

“I brought pens. Fancy pens.” He waggled his eyebrows at me, pushing off the wall to sit cross-legged on one corner of the sheet, one corner of his mouth tugging into a crooked smirk. “In different colors. A feathered quill and ink, which should be fun. A camera.” He paused, clearing his throat, giving me a look full of suggestion as he finished. “Some toys.”

“That does sound fun,” I agreed, setting my own paints and chalks next to the sheet. There were already loose locks of hair curling around my neck and shoulders, coming loose from its bun as I dimpled at him. “So what do you wanna do first?”

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat, scratching the base of it, cheeks pinked. “I was actually hoping we could talk about some of them later. The toys. I want to know more about what you like. But that can wait for now.” Smiling, eyes sparkling, he rolled onto the balls of his feet, stealing a kiss and then stretching out on his stomach, folding his hands under his chin. “Let’s start like this.” He looked up at me through his eyelashes, the deep green of his eyes startlingly close. “I want you to paint me. Make me into art.”

“But you already are.” I gazed down at him with a fond smile. “Art, I mean.” His flush deepened, laughing softly as he pillowed his head on his arm. I set up my paints, then took a seat on his ass, pressing my knees against his hips as I started to paint. It wasn’t anything fancy. My only real plans were to do something meaningful--so naturally I picked a forest.

“I never thought I’d meet anyone as sweet as you. That’s one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me. I’m not sure anyone would ever pay much for me, though. Besides you.”

“Yeah, well good. Because you’re mine, and I’m not letting you go.” I leaned in, pressing a kiss to his shoulder and smearing my lips with paint. It struck me then how alike we really were. I knew--I’d known for a while. But in moments like this, it was so clear that Eli was just as insecure as I was. Just as yearning to be loved, just as needing affection. I added a moon to my forest, Eli sitting almost perfectly still as I painted on him. Soon, he was lifting his head, eyebrow quirking as he craned his head to look back at me.

“What is it?”

I was quiet for a few moments, adding stars to the night sky. The glimmer of a lake towards the small of his back. “Our lake. The forest, under the moon and stars.” Eli shivered again, subtly rising into the touch of the brush. I needed to remember to take a picture, he told me. There needed to be documentation of our art. He wanted to remember it, and so did I. I wasn’t about to argue with him. My painting stopped just at the curve of his ass, and I slid off with flushed cheeks, standing to get a good view. It looked amazing, absolutely amazing, and I took a few minutes to be proud of myself as I went to get the camera. Settling back into place, I snapped a couple of quick pictures, then ran my hands up his arms and shoulders, lips brushing his ear.

“Gorgeous,” I murmured.

“I think I like being a canvas.” His voice was rough, husky with arousal as he reached back to stroke my thigh, lips curved. “How long do I have to let it dry?”

“Not very long. Maybe another five minutes or so. And then I can do the other side. Or you can do me. Whatever,” I was distracted, too busy touching him, brushing my lips over his ear as I purred into it. His nails grazed my skin, and then he was grinning, folding his arms back under his head. I slid off him to sprawl out on my stomach, bumping our shoulders together as I leaned over to steal a quick kiss.

“Oh, you can do the other side later. I think it’s your turn.” He had the audacity to wink at me. “You can pick your instrument, if you’d like. Or you can let me choose.”

“You can pick. It’s your turn.” There was a playful pat to my ass as Eli sat up, settling on all fours as he surveyed what he had. After several minutes, he picked a fountain pen, holding it up for me to see, as well one of the quills.

“I think I’ll start with this,” he smirked. Straddling me in turn, he started by dragging the feathered quill down my spine, giving me a chance to say no. I didn’t, arching into the feather with a soft giggle. It tickled more than I thought it would, and I told him so, pillowing my head on my arms in a mimic of his earlier position.

“Oh?” Eli leaned in, bracing his hands on either side of me, lips against my ear. He purred as he spoke, mouthing at the lobe. “Are you ticklish, kitten?” He sat up, rolling his hips against me, drawing a moan from me as I rolled back. Already I was turned on, waiting for his next move, the next touch of the pen. It was sharp--sharper than either of us had thought. But it was nice. Very nice, my breath hitching as he began to write, scribing poetry on my skin.

“So I wait for you like a lonely house, ‘til you will see me again and live in me. ‘Til then my windows ache.” It was Neruda, Eli’s deep voice reciting them as he wrote. I was flushed, smiling stupidly. Neruda was my favorite--and he knew it. My lover knew me better than I could ever have expected, and if I hadn’t already been in love with him, I don’t think I could’ve resisted after that. He finished, setting the pen aside and pressing a kiss just underneath. Then it was the quill, and purple ink.

“I think I like this. I think I like it a lot,” I practically slurred, shooting him a hooded look over my shoulder. I was already blissed out, overwhelmed with arousal. There was something painfully intimate about it all, something erotic about the scratch against my skin. I knew I liked knives, but I didn’t realize it extended to sharp pins. Chuckling softly, Eli pressed another kiss to the nape of my neck.

“I like it too. I think I should abandon notebooks all together and write on you from here on out.” I would’ve let him. As he began the second poem, there was nothing more I could have wanted. I would’ve surrendered my entire life to him, been his walking journal for the rest of my life. “In your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.”

Rumi this time. It was almost painful, how much I loved him. This mad artist, perched on my hips quoting poetry as he turned me into a canvas. I barely heard him as he teased me, adding his name and hearts to my ass as he signed his work, fingers stroking my skin. I was glassy-eyed and slurring as I rose up on my elbows, trying to glance over my shoulder. His fingers were everywhere, tracing every perfect letter, but I could barely see it. Just a riot of red and black and purple. Eli snapped a photo, then urged me onto my back. I went slowly, propping myself up on my elbows as I looked at him, drowsy with love, clearly aroused.

“Something else?”

“Yeah,” he smirked, an impish light in his eyes. As soon as I turned he kissed me, straddling my thighs. Dragging the paints over, he dipped his fingers in them. “I want to play with these too.” Upside down and riding high on whatever it was he was doing to me, it took me a couple of minutes to read the “MINE” he wrote across my chest, the letters big and bold. Laughing, I sprawled back, pleased and grinning.

“Possessive. You can do whatever you want, Casanova. I trust you.” His fingers went into the paints again, stroking them down my chest. I shuddered, letting out a hitched moan as he circled my navel with one finger, taking a nipple into his mouth. I arched into the touch, arms thrown out to either side, completely loose and pliant as he rolled down against me, teasing the nub with his teeth, tongue flicking out at it. And then he was sitting up, moving away to run his fingers over my skin, leaving smears of paint as he touched me. It was slick, perfect, the touch of his paint-stained fingers stroking along my inner thighs.

“You should do me too.” It was a good suggestion. I sat up, catching his lips in deep kiss, swallowing the eager gasp he made at the brush of my tongue. Reaching for the paint, I traced my own “Mine” over Eli’s chest, then got to work, hands running down his sides, leaving green and black on one side, blue and purple on the other. We were a riot of color, touching and teasing, his thumbs rolling over my nipples as mine grazed his.

“Perfect. That’s perfect,” he panted, reaching for the camera and holding it out at arm's length. We were wrapped around each other, his legs around my hips, my arms around his shoulders. He captured it from the side as I leaned in to mouth at his neck, teeth grazing the tender skin as my hands ran over his thighs. I couldn’t help but grind into him, desperate for his touch. He gave it willingly, wrapping one paint-stained hand around my cock and stroking slowly, other arm wrapping around my neck. We touched each other, my fingers curled around him as I licked his lower lip, drawing it into my mouth. Neither of us was in a hurry, his tongue flicking out at my mouth.

“Want you. Want you all the time. It’s making me crazy,” he growled, pushing me back against the sheet and spreading my thighs, settling between them. I held his shoulders, slid my hands into his hair, tugging lightly as I wrapped my leg around his hip, grinding up against him with a whine. Then he was in me, finally, my body still stretched from the morning, ready for him as he rolled against me.

With his forehead against mine, I could see his eyes flutter shut. Could feel the exact moment he was fully seated, one hand running up the outside of my thigh. I cradled his face in my hands and kissed him, hips arching into him. It was slow and perfect, every inch of us touching, our hands roaming up backs and down sides, into hair. Parts of us stuck together with paint, his lips brushing my fingertips as they stroked his cheek. He loved me. He loved me, and I felt it with every touch. Every brush of his lips, slow twist of his hips. It was perfect. He was perfect, and I told him so between moans, our bodies moving with increasing frenzy, desperate for release.

When it came, it was intense and quiet, my head thrown back against the sheet, hair in the paint as I cried out and called his name, my own name on his lips, his toes curled as he spilled into me. Eli shuddered uncontrollably against me, blissed out as he stilled and slumped, licking his trembling fingers clean. I hadn’t even realized he was touching me, so lost in the haze of arousal. The heady magic he made every time he touched me.

“Fuck. Babe.” He swallowed hard, skin sticky with sweat and paint and everything else. Capturing my lips in an ardent kiss, he ran his hand through my hair, then cradled my jaw, eyes crinkling as he smiled at me. “My kitten. There’s never a dull moment with you. I’ve never done anything like this before. It’s unreal.” I couldn’t do anything but nuzzle into his palm, grinning back as I watched him with warm eyes. Kissing the soft skin, I gently pushed him off me, blinking as I looked around.

“Oh. we made a mess. It’s a good thing we put the sheet down.” I giggled, giddy in the aftermath, turning onto my side to face him. He seemed to be realizing the same thing, laughing as he looked around. There were more pictures to take, of us, loose-limbed and sated. We got one of our backs together using the automatic timer. It was us. Just us, his arm around my shoulders, lips against the top of my head as we leaned into each other, my arm low around his hips, careful not to block the painting.

“I’m still...I can’t believe we have this,” I spoke quietly, feeling shy. “That we get to--to make art and be together and have everything be so perfect.”

“I feel the same way,” he admitted, leaning in to rub our noses together. “I still can’t believe it either. And it’s still so new...I don’t want to get your hopes up that it’s always going to be this perfect.” He bit his lip, reaching back to set the camera again. “But I can promise that I’m always going to do my best to make you as happy as you are now. Making this work...it’s important to me. I’ve never wanted anything so badly.” There was nothing I could say to that, wide-eyed and flushed as I listened to him. All I could do was throw my arms around his neck, knocking him back against the sheet and kissing him ardently as the camera went off, my hands buried in his hair, body tight against his. I didn’t want space. Didn’t want to be any farther away from him than I had to be.

“Me too,” I swallowed hard. “You’re important to me. Us--us is important to me.”

“That’s all that matters. As long as we have that, we can make this work. We can get through anything.” Eli kissed me again, softly, hand running over the back of my head. We sprawled there on our sheet, talking about the future we wanted--the future we were building together. I was the first to stand, stretching deeply as he followed me up. I scooped up the camera as we made our way to the bathroom to shower, snapping pictures as we went, both of us laughing and carefree. There was the whole rest of the weekend to get through, wine and a hot tub, all the toys Eli had brought. And a whole lifetime to plan amidst all the kissing and touching, both of us giddy and in love, drunk on the joy we’d found together.

It would be our last good weekend together for a long time.

 

 

 

 


	14. Jake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday, everybody! And Happy New Year's Eve Eve. So, as some of you may have noticed, we decided not to post a chapter last week due to the busy holiday weekend. However, we are back this week and ready to move on to the next part of our story. I don't want to give too much away, but things take a decidedly darker turn in this chapter than what you've become accustomed to. 
> 
> Without further ado, let's get into the trigger warnings for this chapter. A character is attacked; however, the attack isn't described in explicit detail. We're just going to be dealing with the aftermath and recovery here. There is some brief discussion of a sexual assault that happened as part of the attack, but again, no explicit details. Still something to keep in mind if you're sensitive to such things. <3
> 
> Anyway, thanks for hanging in there with us! As always, the comments and feedback are greatly appreciated. Thank you. -Zillah

I didn’t know it at the time, but to hear him tell it later, Solo was pacing the emergency room and chewing on his thumbnail when he called me. It was the phone call that would change everything for all of us, and even though I couldn’t see him at the time, I can picture him doing it so vividly when I think about it now. Granted, I don’t like to think about it, but I still do sometimes. It’s a reminder, and a necessary one, of where we were and how far we’ve come since then. How fortunate we all are despite the hardships we’ve been through and the countless traumas we’ve endured.

I was with Luke at the time, unaware that my delirious happiness was about to be shattered. I didn’t care about anything else because I was finally with him, this amazing, gorgeous older guy I’d been daydreaming about in class and crushing on for months. God, I still couldn’t believe he liked me! Me, this pipsqueak of a freshman who wore excessive amounts of glitter, laughed too much and too loud, and did ballet--not exactly the most desirable qualities for a boy my age to have. Luke didn’t seem to care about any of those things, though. In fact, he seemed to like me because of them, not in spite of them, which naturally meant that he was too good for me, too smart for me. Not that that was stopping me from shoving my hands into his head of beautiful blond hair or adjusting the skew of his glasses, constantly getting in the way as we made out in my bed. 

When the phone rang, I almost didn’t answer it. Looking back on it now, the only reason I did was because I saw Solo’s name on the screen, and if Solo was calling, it must be important. It was always important. He was my boss, and Duo’s older brother. I couldn’t ignore him, not even for Luke, even as his fingers dug into my ribcage in an attempt to tickle me into submission and back to bed. 

“Luke!” I was giggling hysterically as I accepted the call, flushed and out of breath. “Luke, stop! I mean it! I said stop! I need to take this call--it’s Duo’s brother, it might be important.” I squealed, wriggling out of his grasp. He showed mercy by letting me escape, and I made an attempt to school my features into seriousness as I turned my attention to the call. “Yes? Sorry. Hello.”

“Jake. God, you have no idea how good it is to hear you laugh.” Solo sounded breathless and relieved and...wrong, somehow. Immediately, I knew something wasn’t right, and I was on edge in response to it, my stomach clenching in preparation for what he was about to tell me. I could hear him swallow, voice cracking as he continued. “Jake, there--there’s been an accident.”

My throat went dry. I could hear Luke shift restlessly behind me as he heard the first thread of panic in my voice, a concerned hand landing on my shoulder. “Oh my god, an accident? What do you mean, an accident? Duo? Is he okay? Is Duo okay?” All I could think in those moments was _please, not my best friend, don’t let it be my best friend_. But who else could it be if it was Solo calling me?

“I need you to come to the hospital. They’re--they’ve got him in the ER now. I need you here, mouse.” Something in me broke hearing Solo call me his and Duo’s affectionate nickname for me in such a pleading tone of voice. Mostly because I’d never heard him sound so helpless before. Solo was always cool, always calm, always in control, and now? Now, he wasn’t. Now, he was lost, and he needed me, and suddenly that became the most important thing in the world. Not Luke. Not school. Not getting laid. Not anything else. Just getting to the hospital, to Solo and Duo. My family. Whatever it was, no matter how bad it was or how much it hurt, I needed to be by their side. I felt brittle when I ended the call, delicate and shivering all over, stabbing pains in my chest, my throat full of broken glass.

Luke was understanding when I had to leave and cut date night short. Gallantly, he even offered to go to the hospital with me, which I appreciated, but, based on what I’d heard in Solo’s voice, it didn’t sound like something he should be a party to. I liked Luke--we all did--but this was private. Family stuff. At this point, I might be the only one who knew Duo was in the hospital, and I didn’t want to do anything to make Solo think twice about his confidence in me. 

I rushed into the ER, still dressed in my pink pajama bottoms and a white hoodie I’d carelessly drawn on as I’d left the dorm. My feet were shoved into sneakers, squeaking on the sanitized tile as I frantically looked around for Solo, spotting his large frame shoved into a chair by the doors that led into surgery. His broad shoulders were hunched, head hung low. It made him look much smaller than he actually was. Seeing him like that scared me more than anything as I made my way over to him, sitting down and reaching for his arm. “Solo,” I said, unable to keep my voice from wavering. “Where is he? What’s going on?”

He was wearing a black hoodie and blue jeans, pretty standard fare for Solo, but there was blood dried into the fabric, making my anxiety spike as he reached for me, wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug. “Mouse.” I went willingly into the embrace, sliding my arms around his waist as he inhaled against my hair. “He--someone beat the shit out of him.” That was all it took for the bottom to drop out of my stomach.

I sucked in my breath, held it for several heartbeats as I processed the information, wracking my brain for who could have done this to Duo and why. Who in their right mind would want to hurt him? I couldn’t fathom it, and I think the only reason I wasn’t panicking (any more than I already was, anyway) was because there was something about Solo that made me feel safe, a little calmer than I would've been if he hadn’t been there and it’d just been me sitting in that waiting room. His breath was warm on my neck as I shook my head, then pulled back to look at him.

My breath caught and my lower lip trembled. I could barely get the words out, voice soft and shaky. “But--who would do this to him? You don’t know?”

“No, we don’t know. Whoever it was did it while I was on campus. And out of sight of the cameras.” Solo’s voice was choked. My own throat started to close in response to his grief, so fresh and raw beside my own, and I hadn’t even seen Duo yet. I had no idea how bad the extent of his injuries were, but I didn’t think I needed to. Wasn’t sure I wanted to. Not that I had much of a choice. “I found him when I got home. They won’t tell me anything. He’s in surgery.”

I didn’t want to cry. I wanted to be strong, for Duo and Solo both, but I couldn’t help myself when I buried my face in Solo’s chest, soaking the front of his sweatshirt with silent tears. Duo was in surgery. He’d been beaten. I didn’t know where to start and could scarcely comprehend it, how it all felt like some terrible dream I was going to wake up from at any minute. Except I knew that it wasn’t, so I finally made myself look at Solo again, taking a deep breath in an attempt to get my head on straight. Duo didn’t need to see me like this.

“It’s that bad, huh? This is really serious.” I paused, swallowing hard. “He can’t--he has to be okay, right? He has to be. He’s a fighter.” 

It was a comfort to have Solo’s arms around me, his hand in my hair. He smelled good, felt solid and real, the only thing I had a tangible grip on as my head spun in helpless circles. “Yeah, he’s a fighter.” There was no trace of humor in his laughter. It was a broken sound. “I don’t--I don’t even know what happened. He looked so bad.” Solo paused, looking down at me, and I looked up at him, my cheek against the rock hard wall of his chest. “I know--I know the likelihood of this is slim, but I have to ask...do you know where Eli was tonight? Is he--he wouldn’t get violent, would he?”

“What?” The question shocked me. It was the last thing I'd expected to come out of Solo's mouth, and I’m sure it showed as I pulled away, shaking my head in agitation. “Oh my god, no. Are you kidding me? There’s no way Eli could’ve done this. He loves Duo. They’re kind of disgusting, actually. Wait--oh god, that means...that means you haven’t told Eli...”

He confessed that he hadn’t, looking relieved to hear what I had to say, but still tense. Unsure. Suspicious. I couldn’t say I blamed him, even if I thought it preposterous to suspect Eli. Maybe Solo didn’t see how in love Duo and Eli were because he wasn’t around as much as I was, but I did. More than adoring Duo, Eli practically worshiped him. I knew he’d never do anything to hurt him. Not intentionally. Not like this. 

“I didn’t think he was really capable, but I wanted to be safe,” Solo went on. “No one else knows, Jake. And I think it should stay that way.” His hand swallowed mine as he took it, squeezing tightly. “You’ll understand when you see him.”

Shoulders tense, I bit my lower lip, thinking back to Luke, how he’d been there with me when the call had come. I hadn’t told him much, but it had been enough--enough that I knew I had to stop him before he said something to Eli. Granted, I hated the thought of keeping something like this from Eli--he deserved to know--but I wanted to respect Solo’s wishes. Eli was relatively new on the scene, but Solo was Duo’s family. He called the shots, at least for now. At least until we knew what Duo wanted, and he might not be capable of making that decision for a while. 

Taking a deep breath, I spoke slowly, thoughtfully, keeping a firm grip on Solo’s hand. “Luke was with me when you called, so he knows something’s up with Duo.” I wet my lips, pressing them into a thin, grave line. “I can’t promise he won’t say something to Eli, but I’ll ask him not to. At least until we know more.” I wanted to say more, but faltered, fresh tears welling in my eyes.

Solo understood, for which I was grateful, and we both sat up straight as the doctor chose that moment to come into the waiting room. As Solo went to talk to him, it provided me with a good opportunity to text Luke and ask him not to say anything. I knew it was going to be hard for him, being as close to Eli as he was, but hopefully he’d understand. I turned my phone off after that, sliding it back into my pocket as Solo, across the room, nodded at something the doctor said, then hunched forward, putting his head in his hands. It didn’t look good.

“What is it?” I was anxious, restless, plucking my lower lip with my fingers as I jumped out of the chair, making my way over to where he stood. “What did he say?” I laid my hand on Solo’s arm, craning my neck to peer into his face. “He’s going to be alright, isn’t he?” I could hear the panic in my voice, feel it all throughout my body. “Please tell me he’s going to be alright…”

Solo immediately crushed me to him. My breath hitched as I went against his chest, holding onto his arms as he pressed his face to my hair. He steadied himself against me, then took a step back. “He’s got a perforated lung, and a concussion. Three cracked ribs.” I watched his throat bob as he swallowed, clearly struggling with it. “Everything else is just really bad bruising. They’re not sure how he doesn’t have a shattered jaw or a broken nose, but...he doesn’t.” He paused. My chest twisted painfully at what he said next. “And he was assaulted.”

“Assaulted?” I froze, nostrils flaring. “You mean…” My knees gave out at the implication of it, and I sank to the floor, unable to stand as I buried my face in my hands and started to sob, shoulders curled forward. Maybe it was dramatic, but who cares? This _was_ dramatic. It was life-changing. Duo had been beaten, and raped, and he was never going to be the same again. How could someone do that to him? Take away his innocence, his consent? What kind of monster… 

I pictured the sweetness of Duo’s smile, the soft light that came into his eyes whenever he looked at someone he loved, knowing full well I might not see him look the same way ever again. It was a violation I felt deep down to the core. I’d been subjected to similar indignities in my high school years, but the humiliation had been something I’d chosen, something I’d always said yes to, even when I knew I shouldn’t. Duo--he hadn’t chosen this. It had been forced on him, which made it altogether different.

“How could someone do this to him?” Solo was there with me, arms around me, hands stroking my hair back. “He didn’t do anything to deserve this! He never--oh god.” I went from devastated to frantic in the space of an instant, clutching his arms as I pulled back to look at him, eyes wild. “What are we going to do? How are we going to tell Eli?” I levered myself to my feet, wiping my nose on the sleeve of my hoodie. “Oh god. Duo. We need to go be with him, Solo. We need to go now. Please. He--he’s going to need us.”

Solo nodded. He wasn’t trying to stop me because he was with me, one hundred percent, and I felt myself relax a little at that. It felt good to be supported. He was holding me up, just as I was doing for him, and in those moments, I wasn’t quite sure what we would’ve done without each other.

“They said we can go see him. He’s stable right now, but unconscious. They’re keeping him sedated.” He paused, taking my hand and leading me toward the elevator. Even in my grief, something in me swelled unexpectedly, surged with feeling for the man as I trailed behind him, looking at the back of his head and admiring the perfect blond mane of his hair, caught in a thick ponytail that snaked between his broad shoulders. I trusted Solo inherently, trusted him so much I would have let him lead me anywhere. I looked up to him too, and maybe...maybe it was more than that.

Not that I had the capacity to think about that right now. I set my jaw and shoved the thought down into the deepest recesses of my brain.

“We’ll figure it out. We’ll find out who did this,” he continued. “Don’t worry about Eli. Duo’s going to have to decide what to tell him when he--when he wakes up.”

I nodded, leaning into him and doing my best to mentally prepare myself as we made our way to the ICU. I wanted to see Duo and I was scared of seeing him, and it was about as bad as I had imagined when I finally did. Solo clutched the doorframe as I made my way to Duo’s bedside in a daze. He was small, so small lying in that hospital bed, his hair loose and tangled around his head, his eyes blackened, his lip split. I knew it was worse beneath the sheets and the clean hospital gown he wore, and it hurt. It hurt so much to see him like that I could barely breathe.

“Oh, fuck. God--my little brother.” It came from behind me, Solo’s voice weak and aching. I looked at him, then back to Duo, feeling almost numb. I only knew I wasn’t because my eyes were wet as I leaned in and kissed his forehead.

“Duo,” I breathed. “It’s okay, sweetheart. We’re here. We’re here and we’re not leaving you.” Solo came up and took Duo’s hand, and I noticed his fingernails then. They were ragged and torn, the black polish heavily chipped--god, he was going to hate that--and his hand and arm were scratched and bruised. Clearly, he’d struggled against his attacker. Whoever they were, Duo had put up a damn good fight, and I felt nothing but pride in him. That was the Duo I knew and loved, someone who'd never go down without a fight.

Solo and I were silent for a while, trying to process, to reconcile our image of Duo with what we were seeing now. Eventually, Solo took a seat beside him while I continued to stand, each of us holding one of his hands. I couldn’t sit still. I was too restless as we spoke over him, keeping our voices low. At length, our conversation came back around to Duo’s attacker, who we thought it could be. My mind was whirring, going a hundred miles a minute. I couldn’t make it stop. 

“What are the chances it was someone he knew?” I suggested, fussing needlessly over Duo, my hands stroking his hair, smoothing down the front of his hospital gown because I needed to do something with them. “It is possible this is a random thing? Because it feels personal, but I don’t know…” I shook my head, worrying my lower lip with my teeth. “There was that guy, James, but I don’t know if he’d have the balls to do something this extreme.”

Solo’s eyes were fixed on Duo’s face, his expression a study in deep distress. “The police aren’t sure.” His voice was gruff, wrecked. “They’re still looking into it. Whoever did it didn’t leave a lot behind. I just...I can’t believe anyone would wanna hurt my baby brother.”

There wasn’t much we could do for Duo while he was sedated, and I’d fretted over him long enough, so I left his side and went back to Solo. Moving behind his chair, I leaned in, draping my arms around his neck and resting my chin on one of those broad shoulders, hoping I could offer some of the same comfort he’d given me earlier. “I can’t believe it either,” I murmured. “But it’s going to be okay. He’s going to be okay. It’s just going to be...hard for a while.” I wished I felt as confident as I sounded as his hand came up to cover my own, thumb stroking my wrist. It was an innocent touch, but it sent a shock through me, unbidden and electric. I shivered a little, trying to ignore how it felt and what it meant. Later. Duo was all that mattered right now.

Solo excused himself shortly thereafter. There were calls to place, arrangements to make. Duo was going to be out of school for a while, which meant his professors needed to be informed. I made sure Solo had a list of them as he went off. The room felt emptier, colder without him, but I was determined to stay, to watch over Duo for as long as I could. The last thing I wanted was for him to wake up alone.

I curled up in the chair Solo had recently vacated. It was still warm from his body and I sank into it with a grateful sigh, resting my chin in my hand, the other reaching for Duo’s. I was still holding it, just starting to doze off when I heard him speak. 

“Who--where--Jake? Jake?” At the sound of his voice, I immediately jolted awake. Duo. He was conscious, and he was talking, and he recognized me. That was a good sign.

“Duo? Hey, I’m here.” Knowing I probably didn’t have long until he drifted off again, I scooted my chair closer to the bed and squeezed his hand. His eyes were barely open, hazy as they tried to focus on me. I didn’t want to dance around the subject, but I didn’t want to alarm him too much either, so I kept my voice as soft and soothing as possible when I told him where he was. “You’re in the hospital, Duo. Do you remember how you got here?”

He winced, a small whimper sounding out of him, then shook his head, which didn’t surprise me. I didn’t expect him to remember, not right away, not when he’d been through so much, his mind clouded with drugs, his speech slurred. “No. Hospital? Is Eli here?”

I hesitated. It pained me to tell him no. Eli should be here. I wanted him to be here. Duo did too. But we had to be careful in these first, critical hours of recovery. “No, honey, he’s not.” I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, leaning in to kiss his forehead. “He doesn’t know you’re here. Not yet. It’s pretty late, though, so…” I trailed off, looking around to see what I could offer, wanting to stay off the subject of Eli and make sure Duo was as comfortable as possible. “Are you thirsty? There’s some water here if you need it.”

Duo pouted, somehow managing to be petulant even with the sedatives in his system. It was enough to make me smile as I watched his face and stroked his hair. “No. Hurts.” That was all he said before he drifted off again, Solo speaking up from behind me. I wasn’t sure how long he’d been standing there. Long enough, apparently.

“Well, it’s good to know he can still be petulant.” His eyes were watery as he came in, but there was a smile on his lips. “The doctor said that might happen. We’ll need to get him something stronger for the pain.” I felt his hand on my shoulder, heavy, warm, and grounding. “You should go home. Get some sleep. You can come back in the morning. I’ll text you if anything changes.”

I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay by Duo’s side and be there if he woke up again, but at this point, I knew the best thing I could do for myself was get some rest. Solo would be there, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to make sure he was going to be alright too.

“Are you sure?” I looked at him, finally letting Duo’s fingers slip out of mine. My eyes ached as I rubbed my hands over my face. “I can stay with him--it’s no trouble, really.” It occurred to me that I was more anxious than I’d realized about leaving. “I mean, what if he wakes up and asks for me and I’m not here? Besides, you shouldn’t be expected to handle things all on your own.”

Solo rubbed the back of his neck, affection coloring his speech. “No, but you’re still in school.” How could he expect me to go to school and pretend like everything was alright? I didn't know if I could--not that he needed to know that. “I’ll be okay tonight. You come after class and we’ll switch. I called a friend. He’s going to come, so he’ll help too.”

A friend? I had questions, but I was too tired to ask any of them right now. Besides, questions were the last thing Solo needed. He had enough on his mind. “Alright, well…” It was reluctant, my body stiff from hours spent sitting as I stood and stretched. The ache in my muscles was more than just a physical one, drawing a weary groan out of me. “I guess I am pretty hungry.”

Shoving my feet back into my shoes, my stomach rumbled confirmation, and I flashed Solo a sheepish smile. “Text me if anything changes, and let me know if you need anything, okay?” I paused, subtly running my eyes over him. He looked as exhausted as I felt, but gorgeous as ever in spite of it--some kind of Maxwell voodoo he shared with his brother. Duo was always beautiful to me, even when he was lying beaten in a hospital bed. Case in point.

“You’re a good brother, Solo.” I squeezed his hand, then arched up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. I could smell his shampoo and the faint, woodsy scent of his aftershave, clean and masculine. It made me want to step into his arms again, although I tactfully refrained. I only felt that way because I knew I couldn’t go home and take comfort in Luke. I had to keep him at arm’s length until we figured everything out, which made Solo all I had, but that wasn’t a bad thing. Honestly, he was the best thing for me right now. “You take care and get some rest, and I’ll be by after class tomorrow.”

I felt his hand on my hair, found myself starting to lean into it before he gave me a gentle shove toward the door. “You’re a good friend. Now scoot.”

I scooted. I wasn’t happy about scooting, but I did what he said, which didn’t stop me from worrying the whole way home. Even so, when my head hit the pillow half an hour later, I was dead to the world. I think part of me knew I was going to need as much sleep as I could get, because things were going to get worse before they got better.


	15. Jake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello Hello! I’m sick so this note will be short, but mostly—thank you all for reading! Trowa makes an appearance in this chapter as Jake and Solo deal with Duo’s condition, and Duo deals with being kinda doped up! The focus on this fic is really on the relationships between the characters, so if you feel like the attack itself is kind of glosses over, it is. We wanted to keep the attention on how this event has impacted characters and their relationships, as opposed to the event itself. 
> 
> Also—neither of us has any medical knowledge, so we’re playing pretty fast and loose here. 
> 
> <3,  
> Amberly

As promised, I returned to the hospital the next day, heading there straight after class. There had been a lot of waffling the night before about whether or not I was actually going to go, but, ultimately, I decided it would make me feel better to get out of bed and do something productive rather than lie in it and mope about what had happened to Duo. It was terrible, without a doubt, and, yes, it was awful to be back in the room we shared without him there, but although it was too empty without the sight of his dark hair spread over the pillow, too quiet without the sound of his breathing, I was out almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. The exhaustion of the evening had caught up with me by then, and I slept deeply and without dreams. I was grateful for that.

Now I was on my way to see him again, and I was nervous. What if Duo wasn’t better today? What if his condition was worse? I didn’t see how it could be, but...strange things happened all the time, right? What if the doctors hadn’t caught the full extent of the damage? What if they’d found out he’d hit his head during the attack and had a brain bleed or something? There were so many things that could go wrong, and I was imagining them all as I strode down the corridor, wringing the strap of my messenger bag. It lay flat against my chest, and I was still dressed in black tights and a white t-shirt from my last dance class of the day, my pink hoodie thrown on over it as I approached the door to Duo’s room, peeking in with a heart full of trepidation.

Solo was there, speaking with a man I didn’t recognize. He was just as tall as Solo, and just as handsome, only he had dark hair instead of blond, and green eyes instead of blue. They made a striking pair as they turned to look at me, so much so that I almost forgot what I was there for, eyes wide, breath sticking in my throat like I’d just swallowed a mouthful of honey.

“Oh.” I was frozen, the proverbial deer in headlights, feeling like I’d just interrupted an intense conversation, if the looks on their faces were anything to go by. Slowly, I started to back away, cheeks burning. “Sorry, I’ll--I’ll come back?”

Solo smiled, and I immediately relaxed. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he was wearing the same clothes as the night before, but he still looked good, hair caught in a messy bun at the nape of his neck. “No, it’s okay. Come on in, Jake. This is Trowa--an ex and a family friend. Tro, this is Jake. Duo’s dorm mate and best friend.”

Trowa. Solo’s...ex? This was the friend he’d been talking about? I felt so small next to them, like such a non-entity that I wanted to curl in on myself and disappear, but that only made me stand up straighter, made me square my shoulders as I smiled at Trowa and Trowa smiled at me. His jeans were tight and expensive, something I could appreciate on both counts, and his sweater was a forest green that brought out his eyes. It reminded me of the first time I’d seen Eli, how he’d been wearing something similar. What was it about dark-haired guys with green eyes?

When Trowa spoke, his voice was warm and deep and thickly-accented. Russian, I thought. “Hello,” he said. “I am pleased to meet you.” It was the kind of voice I wanted to wrap around myself on a cold day.

“Um--yeah, you too.” I fumbled over the words. “It’s nice to meet you too. I…”

I could have died of embarrassment. Now was so not the time to get all tongue-tied over a beautiful stranger. Solo’s ex...god. How had that even happened? And when? I wondered why they weren’t together anymore, and I wondered how they looked in bed together. Or how they had looked, once upon a time. Shit. I was staring again. I jerked my eyes away, fuming with myself.

“How’s he doing?” Not my smoothest recovery, but I doubted they noticed. They had more on their minds. So did I, for that matter. I sidestepped around the pair of them, making my way to Duo’s bedside and trying to ignore the way my heart plunged when I saw he wasn’t awake. I don’t know why I expected anything different, honestly.

“He’s…” Solo sighed, rubbing his temples. “He hasn’t woken up again. They’re letting him sleep for a little longer, but if he doesn’t wake up by tonight, they’re going to do a CT scan.”

I looked at Duo, hearing Trowa sigh from behind me. “Poor kotyonok.” I didn’t know what it meant, but it sounded like a term of endearment, the way he said it. “Now that Jake and I are here, you should go home. Shower and rest. We can take care of him while you are gone.” I liked Trowa already, and not just for his staggering good looks. “No decisions will be made without you. At least shower and get a bag if you are going to stay here.”

I turned to echo him, offering a smile as I stroked Duo’s hair off his forehead. “I agree, Solo. You should go. I told you you don’t have to do this on your own. Not that anyone ever listens to me.” I rolled my eyes, lips quirking. I was trying to keep things light, but I hoped he took me seriously, especially now that he had a friend here, one he trusted and respected.

The eldest Maxwell finally conceded. “Fine. I”ll go--three hours. I can shower and nap and then be back here.” He pointed at Trowa, expression stern. “Behave.”

Unsure what he meant by that, I watched as Trowa raised his hands in surrender. His grin was a little too wolfish for his own good--or mine--but dangerously charming nonetheless. I could feel myself blush, thinking he could probably get away with just about anything with that grin.

“I would never dream of doing anything else,” he uttered. “Now go. Jake and I will take care of kotyonok. He will be safe with us.”

Solo finally left, leaving us alone together. It gave me the chance to study Trowa as I curled up in the chair at Duo’s bedside, smile curious and shy, but friendly, I hoped. “He’s like his brother. They’re both too stubborn for their own good.” I scoffed, tucking my legs into the chair along with the rest of me. “Maxwells.”

Trowa laughed. “I see you are well-acquainted with the family.” A brief pause followed as he settled in the chair on the other side of the bed. He had long, elegant hands in proportion with his long, elegant body. They were fascinating to watch, tenderly pushing Duo’s hair away from his face.

“Too well, I think sometimes. So, Solo said you’re an ex?” I wanted to know more about them, piece together all the patchwork details of how we’d ended up here, the three of us, with Duo at the center of it all.

“Da. We broke up after he got custody of Duo and Nadia.”

I wrapped my arms around my knees, dragging my lower lip with my teeth as I studied Duo’s face. He was difficult to look at, the bruising on his face a sickly shade of green today.

“But you’re still close with them? They’re hard to stay away from, those Maxwell boys.” I smirked. “When I met Duo, it was, like, instantaneous, the bond between us.” I snapped my fingers, eyes drifting from Duo to Trowa and back again. “Just like that. And now he has me forever, the jerk, for better or for worse.”

“I moved back to Russia,” Trowa clarified. “Solo and I talked about being together one day, once the twins were in college, but...I think that ship has sailed, so to speak.” He chuckled. “Duo is like that. If he likes you, you are his and he is yours. If he does not like you...well, I am sure you know.”

“I do know. I wouldn’t want to be on his bad side, that’s for sure.” I took one of Duo’s limp hands in mine, my smile fading. “I haven’t known him all that long, really, but it feels like I have, you know? Like we’ve always been family.” My throat was starting to close again. “I don’t know what I’ll do if he…” The thought was too horrible to contemplate, let alone speak aloud.

Trowa was firm. “He will not. He will fight, and he will be--he will be like a wet cat when he is better. You will see.” I couldn’t help but laugh at that. The image was so vivid, so perfectly Duo. Trowa’s eyes narrowed a little as I quieted, fingers lingering in Duo’s hair. “You...are the two of you an item?”

“What?” The question shouldn’t have surprised me as much as it did. We were so close it was an easy mistake to make, but I blushed anyway. “Oh! No. Not that I haven’t thought about it. We slept together for a while...if no one else had come along, I think we would’ve ended up together eventually.” We smiled at each other. “But he has Eli now, and I have Luke, so it all worked out.” A flicker of guilt accompanied the thought of Luke, but I pushed it away.

“So he is seeing someone.” Trowa’s interest quickly gave way to suspicion. “He would not tell me when we spoke. Tell me, what is he like?” His gaze turned sharp. “Did he do this?”

I hated that Eli was coming under such scrutiny, especially when he wasn’t there to defend himself. Realistically, I couldn’t blame Trowa for asking. I also couldn’t help but get defensive on Eli’s behalf.

“Of course he didn’t,” I snapped, frowning some, then softened my edge. “Eli would never do something like this. You haven’t seen the way he dotes on Duo.” Clutching the arms of my chair, I forced myself to relax a little. “He’s a poet, and a musician, and an amateur photographer. He and Duo just spent a weekend together up at this cabin Eli rented, just for them. Just because. Duo came back on cloud nine.” I sighed, impressing the seriousness of what I was saying on him with as stern a look as I could manage. “If he was bad news, I’d know it. Trust me. Eli’s good people. He loves Duo.”

“Good.” If Trowa had any suspicions left, he didn’t voice them, putting me at ease again. “Eli sounds exactly like Duo’s type. I am glad. Duo deserves some happiness. He and Solo both. Even if Solo is too busy to date.” He scoffed, then looked at me, those beautiful hands busy braiding a small section of Duo’s hair. “Solo did not tell me everything that happened.”

We made idle chit chat for a little while longer. I told Trowa what I knew about the attack, which wasn’t much, and we both discovered that we had a shared love of ballet. I was over the moon and wondered if Solo’s earlier warning of “behave” had been given because he’d known Trowa and I would get along so well. Even so, as we sat there getting to know each other--and, okay, flirting a little, because I couldn’t help myself--romance was the furthest thing from my mind.

We both agreed that Eli should know about what had happened, but that we couldn’t go against Solo’s wishes. I found myself watching the door for him, wondering when he was going to come back even though I hoped he was getting the rest he needed. Still, Trowa was great company. If I’d been single and Trowa hadn’t lived halfway across the world...well, let’s just say I might have pushed the flirting, but I wasn’t single, and he did, and it was hardly the time or place. Besides, I had Luke. I was happy. It was completely normal to find other men attractive, especially when they were exactly my type. At any rate, Duo was going to get a mouthful from me later about why he’d never mentioned Trowa before.

At some point, Trowa’s phone rang, and as he left the room to take the call, I could hear Solo’s name on his lips. So he wasn’t resting. I should’ve known. Grumbling to myself, I only jumped a little when I heard Duo’s slurred voice from behind me.

“Knew you’d like him.” I whirled around. Duo was smiling. Smiling. It was barely there, but the important thing was that it was there, and it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

“Duo!” I kept my voice low, not wanting to overwhelm him at my normal (what some might call “abrasive”) volume, but I was undoubtedly happy to see him awake, lips curved in a helpless smile. “You know, if you weren’t in this hospital bed right now, I’d hit you. Why didn’t you ever tell me about him? Oh my god, he’s gorgeous.” I heaved an exasperated sigh, rolling my eyes, then got serious, leaning in and taking his hand. “That’s not important, though. How are you feeling? How’s the pain?”

“You know why I didn’t.” He shut his eyes and wet his lips, still smiling a little. “You’re just his type, and he’s yours.”

The boy had a point, even as I rolled my eyes again, the gesture nothing short of affectionate. “Yeah, yeah, and he lives in Russia, so you thought you’d spare me the heartache. I know.”

Duo opened his eyes and grinned, or at least he tried, but it came out looking more like a grimace. I felt terrible for him, something in my chest twinging. I imagined I could feel his pain as my own, but knew I wasn’t even close to feeling what he was. And how did he feel? I pressed the question again. “Like I got hit by a car” was the response I got, but it was encouraging to feel him return the squeeze to my hand. “What happened? Where’s Solo?”

Almost as soon as I’d rolled my eyes, they were filling with tears, faster than I knew they were coming. I struggled to swallow and keep my emotions under control, but ended up choking on them instead, voice coming out strangled. “There was an accident. You were attacked.”

“Attacked? That doesn’t make sense.” Duo’s confusion was palpable, his alarm even more so as he strained to sit up. Trowa was there in the next instant, pressing him back and murmuring to him, words I was too distracted to hear. I didn’t know how much I should tell my friend, or even how much I wanted to, but he deserved to know something.

“We don’t know who did it, but you--you’ve been here since last night,” I plunged onward, twisting my fingers into knots in my lap. “Solo’s at home, resting. He should be back soon. Trowa and I kind of made him go. He’s been with you the whole time. I don’t think he slept a wink.”

“Tro? What--” I bit my lower lip hard, still wringing my hands, unable to block out the awful sound of his whimper or unsee the fear glazing his eyes. “Jake, what--where’s Eli?” His breath hitched, starting to come in panicked bursts and leading to a short scuffle with Trowa.

Drugged as he was, he didn’t have much fight in him. It didn’t matter; didn’t break my heart any less. I couldn’t watch as the nurse came in, administering another hefty dose of sedatives, my fist at my mouth. I slowly lowered it as she left, trying for a smile, not wanting to give Duo any more reason to be upset than he already had.

“You are going to hurt yourself,” Trowa chided, and I relaxed a little as I watched them together. Trowa was good with him. Calm. A great person to have around in a crisis. I was glad he was there.

After another moment, I cleared my throat and spoke up. “Eli’s okay. Don’t worry. He just...can’t be here right now. Not yet.” It wasn’t quite a lie, but it was closer than I liked.

Duo’s pout was legendary, even if it was half-hearted, violet eyes dull and lethargic, starting to glaze over again. “Not fair. Wanna know--”

It was hard to withhold information from him, but we did our best to soothe him, Trowa and I. If I was grateful for anything, it was that we were on the same page, presenting a unified front in Solo’s absence.

That absence didn’t last much longer. Not that I was all that surprised, really. Solo stepped into the room just as Duo was drifting off, Trowa murmuring something to Duo about how good he was doing and how proud we were of him. Solo didn’t hesitate, managing to look only mildly confused as he joined in. “Incredibly proud.” He took the hand I wasn’t holding. “Go back to sleep, little bro. We’ll talk in a little bit.”

We saw him off to sleep with whispered reassurances. There was nothing else we could do for him. It was a weight off my shoulders to be able to admit that to myself, finally.

My gaze as I turned it on Solo was weary. I felt like I’d aged ten years in the past twenty-four hours. Tired was just something I was going to have to live with until we got this whole thing figured out.

“You didn’t nap,” I murmured, looking Solo over, eyes narrowed with concern.

“You should both be resting,” Trowa chimed in, vacating the chair next to Duo’s bed for the one at the end of it, letting Solo sit beside his baby brother.

“No, I didn’t.” Solo dropped his bag next to the chair as he sat. He was wearing clean clothes, at least, looking freshly showered but still exhausted, his face pale and drawn. Duo didn’t deserve this, and neither did he. “I couldn’t. And then the cops called...so it was impossible.”

Setting my jaw, I reached for my messenger bag, pulling out a textbook and spiral-bound notebook. “I’m fine,” I sniffed, raising my eyebrows at Trowa. “I have some homework to do anyway. I can do it just fine from right here.” I let the textbook fall open against my thighs and pulled a pen from the notebook spiral, tapping it against my teeth. “Did the cops have any new information?”

Solo shook his head, Trowa and I both watching him intently. “No. Not really. They wanted to go back over the story, and wanted to know if Duo was awake so they could question him.” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m not looking forward to that.”

I looked down at the page I was on, knowing that, despite all my protests, I wasn’t going to be able to focus. How could I? Echoing Solo’s sigh, I tapped my pen against the book, then gave in, stuffing it back in my bag. I wanted to stay with Duo, but Trowa and Solo together were too much at once for me. “No, neither am I. I should probably go. I can’t really study here anyway. Too many distractions. One of you will let me know if something changes?

They were in agreement on that, Trowa looking mildly amused, Solo offering a wry smile. “Of course, mouse. I’ll text. The doctor should be in later, so I’ll have an update. We have to decide if we should keep putting him under or let him wake up.” He paused. I could hear the weight of the silence between his words, feel it pressing upon all of us. “I’m not old enough for this.”

Somehow I missed the way his eyes--and Trowa’s--raked over me as I stood and stretched, dropping my bag over my head and letting the strap settle against my chest. “Alright. Well...hang in there, okay? And good luck.” I shot him the biggest smile I could muster and gave his arm a reassuring squeeze as I passed. Even in the state he was in, with bags under his eyes and a voice heavy with grief, there was a pulsating warmth around Solo, something comforting and irresistible, wrapping around me and drawing me in. It was all in my head, I thought, just one more thing trying to make me stay. As if I needed another reason.

I shook the feeling off as I moved on to Trowa, laying a hand on his shoulder. “Thanks, Trowa.” I felt more fondness toward him than I’d known I could reasonably have for someone I’d just met, but that’s one of the things tragedy does: it brings people together. “I’m glad someone else who loves him is here to watch over him. Get my number from Solo if you need it.”

“I will.” Trowa was firm, and I didn’t miss the way his eyes raked over me that time. Something passed between him and Solo as they looked at each other then, and even though I didn’t know exactly what it was, I couldn’t help but feel a small surge of satisfaction, a smug smile curving my lips as I turned away. Maybe nothing was going to come of our mild flirting--maybe nothing could come of it considering, well, everything--but it was still nice to be admired. I’d take all the good feelings I could get right now. Maybe that was why I ended up going to Luke instead of spending the night studying, like I should have done.

Solo’s voice followed me to the door. “Thank you for being here, Jake. I know he needs you.” He paused, and I could hear the warmth in his words. “Now get out of here.”

I snorted and heaved a put upon sigh, looking back one last time. “You know, I’m getting a little tired of stubborn, gigantic men telling me what to do.” It was good to have the last word, and I tried not to feel guilty for the slight spring in my step as I left. Maybe things weren’t great right now. And maybe they were about to get worse for a little while. But, ultimately, they were going to be okay. Duo was going to be okay. I had to believe that.


	16. Luke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keeping it short and sweet this week, what we have for you is a chapter from Luke's perspective as he learns about the attack on Duo and does his best to console both Jake and Eli in the aftermath. Enjoy! And, as always, thank you for reading. Every comment and acknowledgement is sincerely appreciated. -Zillah

My phone buzzed, drawing my attention away from the papers I was grading. There was only one person it could be. Eli was going back and forth between stalking the house like a wraith and moping in his bedroom, so I knew it was Jake. He wanted to know if I was at home, asking me if he could stay and study at my place. Of course I said yes. We’d hardly seen each other recently, and I missed him. I was looking forward to spending some time with him. The rest of his texts were more disturbing, hinting that something big was going on with Duo--something I already suspected. My roommate hadn’t heard from his boyfriend in days. Jake, I hoped, would have some answers. I was looking forward to that as much as I was having him in my arms again. 

When I opened the door, Jake looked exhausted. There were circles under his eyes, his face pale and drawn, dressed plainly, for him. I drew him in at once, hugging him tightly and brushing my lips against his temple. He melted into me, some of the tension seeping out of his frame. Guiding him towards the couch, I pressed him down, taking note of his slumped shoulders. Whatever was going on was serious, and I felt a faint flicker of fear, even as he gave me a tired smile. 

“Darling, you look exhausted.” I took his bag, setting it near the coffee table. “Do you want some tea? Coffee?” 

“I am,” he admitted, running a hand through his hair. “I would love some coffee if you have it. With creamer? Or cream and sugar? Whatever’s fine. I just don’t like it black.” He looked like he hadn’t slept in almost a week. It was hard to head to the kitchen, but I managed, promising to be back in just a moment. While the keurig brewed the coffee, I put together a small plate of turkey and cheese sandwiches, taking both into the living room and setting them on the coffee table. 

“You look like you could use some food,” I told him, settling next to him on the couch and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. His stomach grumbled just on time, drawing a bit of a flush to his cheeks. 

“You’re an angel. Thank you. I just remembered I haven’t eaten all day,” he winced, biting his lip. “Stress, you know? It makes me nauseous.”

“I understand,” I kissed his temple, stroking his arm soothingly. “But you need to keep your strength up, darling. Do you want to talk about what’s going on?” 

“Yeah, I know. It’s just been a crazy couple of days,” he took a bite of the sandwich, chewing slowly as he cuddled against my side. Jake crossed and re-crossed his ankles on the coffee table, clearly hesitant to talk. Swallowing his food, he looked up at me. “Well...you remember the call I got? When I had to leave suddenly?” 

“Yeah,” I nodded. “It was something about--the hospital. What happened?” Jake didn’t answer right away. He took another bite of his sandwich, washing it down with some coffee before he continued, keeping his voice soft. 

“Here’s the thing...we still don’t know a lot about what happened, and Solo made me promise not to tell Eli yet. I probably shouldn’t even be telling you, but…” he sighed heavily, gnawing his lower lip. “I have to tell someone. Just...try not to tell Eli yet, okay?” Already alarm bells were going off. I had a sneaking suspicion I knew what was coming, looking at him with raised eyebrows and pursed lips. 

“I can try,” I agree nervously, before sighing. “It’s going to depend on what you say, honestly. What’s going on, Jake? I’m worried now.”

“Just...please try. If you tell Eli and he does something drastic, Solo will know I said something, and I’ll be in so much trouble. I just feel so guilty keeping this from him.” Jake heaved a sigh, looking away from me and finishing his sandwich with hunched shoulders. When he spoke again I realized I wasn’t ready to hear what he needed to say. “Duo was attacked. He’s in the hospital, in pretty bad shape.” 

“Oh.” My eyes widened, face white as I listened to him in horror. “Oh my god, Jake--Jake, we have to tell him. He’s been frantic trying to get a hold of Duo.” 

“I know,” he winced. “I had a feeling he would be, but we don’t know everything yet, and Solo wanted to know more about what happened before we told anyone else…” Sighing, Jake picked at a loose thread on his sweatshirt, looking down at his lap. “As it is, Duo’s barely been conscious since it happened. He’s on a lot of pain meds right now, and his memories of what happened haven’t come back yet. But he's been asking for Eli.” There was a pause, his face falling as he sniffled. “It’s really bad, Luke.” I drew him onto my lap, cradling him close and stroking his hair. Duo and Jake were so close they were practically brothers. I think I could have been jealous of Duo, if it weren’t for Eli. I understood now why he looked so exhausted, and why he didn’t want to be alone in their dorm. It was also clear to me how much he hated not being able to tell Eli what had happened--something I knew I was going to struggle with as well. 

“You can tell me what happened, and then I’ll decide if I should tell Eli. Solo didn’t tell you not to tell me, did he? And this way, you don’t have to worry about him being angry.” I kissed his temple, squeezing him lightly. “I’m sorry, darling. I know how close you and Duo are.” 

“I don’t think he did,” Jake agreed, arms wrapping around my neck. “It’s all a blur at this point. When I left here, I went straight to the ER. Solo was waiting for me there, and he said Duo was in surgery. He pulled through, and he’s resting now, but he had a perforated lung and a few cracked ribs…” He trailed off, looking pained. Shaking his head, he continued on. “They don’t know who did it yet. Solo found him outside the cafe. He looks bad enough now...I can’t even imagine what he looked like then.” Biting his lip, Jake paused again, voice wavering. “Solo's clothes were covered in Duo’s blood.” What could I say to that? The whole thing was a mess, a disaster of the worst kind, and Jake was caught in the middle of it. The Maxwells were more than his friends; they were his family. All I could do was stroke his hair, rocking him and offering what comfort I could. Jake needed to talk. He needed to let it out, and let it go, and I was more than happy to be of assistance. 

“You wanna know the fucked up thing about it? One of the first things Solo asked me was if Eli could’ve done it.” He shook his head. “I get that he doesn’t know Eli that well, but Jesus. That’s a terrible thing to ask. Anyway I don’t...I don’t think Eli should go to see him until Duo can make an informed decision that he wants him there. And he’s not in any condition to be doing that right now.” 

“It’s the same thing I would ask. Whenever something like this happens, it’s almost always someone close.” As much as I hated to admit it, Eli was the prime suspect. The good news was I knew his alibi, and knew him well enough to know he would never hurt Duo. “I’ll--I’ll think about it. Before I say anything to him.” It was the best I could do. Stroking a hand through Jake’s hair, l looked down at him, forcing a small smile. “How are you handling it?” 

“I know, but Eli?” He shook his head, then sighed. “I guess anything’s possible. I had a boyfriend I thought was great until he started beating me. Couldn’t have seen it coming. But my money would be on an ex before it would be on anyone else.” Rubbing his cheek against my sweater, Jake looked up at me, pouting a little as he did. “I don’t know…not well. I mean, I’m dealing with it. Mostly by not thinking about it when I can get away with it. But it’s hard. I just keep thinking about him in that hospital bed...but at least he’s got people watching over him.” 

And Jake, I knew, did not have anyone watching over him. That was Duo’s job, or Solo’s in his absence. But with Duo hurt, Solo would be focused completely on his brother. Standing, I kept Jake cradled close to my chest, carrying him towards the bathroom. Someone had to take care of him, and I was more than willing to do it. I threw myself into it, outlining the evening I had planned for him: a nice, hot bath, a filling, home-cooked meal with some chamomile tea, and then a nice back rub and nap. Jake was more than willing to go along with my plan. I knew him well enough to know he was going to spend as much time as he could in the hospital, tending to Duo and trying to get Solo to take care of himself. As much as I hated the distance it put between us, I knew there was nothing I could do. So I decided that I would do what I could. And in this instance, what I could do was take care of Jake, and make sure he got the rest he needed. 

I left Jake in a bathtub full of hot, soapy water, the scent of lavender filling the air, and made my way to the kitchen. Eli, I knew, would be out soon. Already, I knew I was going to tell him. The important thing, I thought as I put on the water for tea, would be impressing upon him the seriousness of the issue. And making him understand that he couldn’t go see Duo. Not yet. 

Sure enough, Eli was in the kitchen moments later, hollow-eyed with worry and fatigue. He hadn’t shaved yet, a faint five-o-clock shadow lining his jaw as he padded in, dressed in a black hoodie and a pair of black pajama pants. I pulled down some pasta sauce, then took ravioli out of the fridge, waiting for him to speak. 

“Was that Jake? Is he here?” His voice was hoarse. It pained me to see him, standing in the doorway and staring at me with equal parts hope and fear in his eyes. 

“Yeah, it’s Jake. He’s here.” I bit my lip, setting more water to boil for the ravioli. “He’s relaxing.” 

“What do you mean he’s relaxing?” He stared at me in confusion, hands settling on his hips. “When he’s not answering any of my calls or texts?” Throwing his hands into the air, my roommate began to pace frantically, hands shoving into his hair. “What the hell is going on, Luke? Where’s Duo? Has he said anything about him?”

“Eli…” I trailed off, pouring a cup and adding a chamomile tea bag. Taking Eli by the arm, I led him to the table, setting the cup in front of him. I could make another for Jake. “I need you to take a deep breath and calm down for me. And then we can talk. Okay?” 

“I can’t.” He looked up at me, eyes wide and a little feral. “I can’t calm down.” Wrapping his hands around the hot mug, he clung to it, voice breaking as he continued to speak. “I can’t calm down when I don’t know where he is, or what’s happening to him. I can’t calm down when no one’s answering my texts or calls and the cafe is dark! It’s completely dark. If something's happened to him...I need to know.” His voice quavered, eyes full. Sighing, I settled across from him at the table, running a hand over my face. There was no way I could keep it from him. 

“I know,” I shook my head. “You can’t do anything about it—not yet. Okay?” He said nothing in reply, watching me in silent trepidation, lower lip drawn between his teeth. I looked him over, then snorted. “Right. I don’t know why I’m trying to act like you’ll listen. Duo’s in the hospital. There was—there was an attack.” 

“What.” His face went flat. “Duo’s in the hospital? There was an attack?” The hands clutching the mug shook. Eli set it down carefully, clearing exerting a considerable effort in restraining himself. “When did this happen?” 

“It happened last night. It…” I bit my lip. I didn’t want to tell Eli the truth, but he deserved it. Slumping in my seat, I continued on. “It’s bad. I need you to stay quiet. I don’t—want Jake to be any more upset than he already is.” That part was firm, my hand running through my hair. “Apparently it was bad enough he needed surgery. Jake said he’s been unconscious since then. He’s been asking for you but...I got the sense that he doesn’t really understand what’s going on, or what happened. I think the main reason for not telling you is due to the fact that—that maybe Duo doesn’t want you to see him how he is now.” Eli exhaled harshly, resting his elbows on the table, his head in his hands. His whole body was taut, trembling with tension. 

“Oh my god. Luke—“ His voice raised, then quickly lowered to a fierce whisper, punctuating his words by jabbing his finger into the table. “I am his boyfriend. How could someone not tell me? This is ridiculous! I’m—“ Shaking his head, he pinched the bridge of his nose, nostrils flaring. “I am _in love_ with him, and you’re telling me that apparently that isn’t enough for me to be informed when he gets beaten so badly he has to have surgery? My God.” 

He was angry, and I couldn’t blame him. If our situations had been reversed, I would feel the same. Raising my hands up in surrender, I struggled with how to defuse him. It was a sensitive situation, and of course my stutter showed right up to complicate it further. 

“I think—it’s just a question of making sure Duo’s ability to choose is protected. This—this is traumatic. For everyone, but mostly for him. I don’t—I’m not saying I agree with the decision. I’m just trying to think. Of the whys.” I paused, rubbing the back of my neck and sighing. “He has a perforated lung and some cracked ribs, Jake said. That’s—all he said. But we don’t know the whole story, or what Solo left out.” I had my own suspicions of Jake’s silences, but I understood. Across from me, Eli shuddered, his hands resting on the table. 

“Thank you,” he spoke in a low voice, thick with emotion. “Thank you for telling me.” If I hadn’t already known he was in love with Duo, I would have now. He tipped his head back, staring up at the ceiling with tears trembling on his lashes. “He’s—he’s going to be okay, though? Eventually?” Eli ran his hand over his eyes, hiccuping. It was touching. Heart-wrenching. I stood, wrapping my arms around my friend’s shoulders, wanting to give him whatever comfort I could. He leaned into me immediately, wrapping his arms around me and balling his fists in my sweater as he clung to me. 

“That’s what Jake says. He’s woken up a couple of times. And asked about you.” That was important. Eli needed to know that. “Jake says they’re keeping him mostly sedated. That he’s not very aware right now.” 

“And—and no one know who did this yet?” He closed his eyes, shuddering again. “God. I’ve been so worried about him. It’s not normal for him to not answer my texts, you know? I didn’t know if something had happened or he just decided he didn’t want to do this anymore or what.” With a bitter laugh, he continued. “And then I went by the cafe and saw it was closed, and that was _really_ not normal.”

“No. No one knows. I think you were briefly a suspect—that’s standard procedure—but you were ruled out pretty much immediately.” I stroked his back, sighing heavily. “I can’t tell you what to do, Eli. They’re at the hospital. I don’t know if his brother would let you back or not, but that’s where they are.”

“No.” He rubbed his eyes, sitting back. “I don’t trust myself to go there right now. I’ll wait until he’s awake, and conscious, and remembers what happened. It’s going to be hard enough for him without the added pressure of me being there. I want to see him, but we all need to do what’s best for him right now, and I trust that his brother knows what that is. Even if I’m still pissed, I...I get it.”

“Okay,” I agree, squeezing his shoulder. “I’m proud of you. For making that decision.” I shot him a wry smile. “I think you’ll be hearing from them pretty soon, if we know Duo. He’s just as disgustingly in love with you as you are with him.” It was teasing as I stood, going back to the stove to finish the ravioli. Eli was going to be okay, and I still had Jake to think of. Laughing softly, my roommate gestured to himself, lips quirking. 

“I’m not really in any condition for him to be seeing me right now either. I’m unstable and I can’t--” He swallowed hard. “I need to be strong for him right now. When I go in there, I need to have it together, and I don’t right now. Tonight, I need to shower, and shave, and sleep, and think about how I’m going to deal with this.” Deflating, he reached for his tea. “How could this happen? How could I have not been there? I should’ve been there.”

“Eli,” the admonishment was soft, uttered as I began plating the food. “Did you know someone was going to do this? Did you expect him to be attacked?”

“Of course I didn’t, but it figures the one time I’m not with him, he gets jumped.” Narrowing his eyes, he squinted at me. “Do you think somebody could have been waiting for this? An opportunity to get Duo alone?”

“He spent a lot of time without you. His whole life. This isn’t your fault. You’re not responsible.” It was firm. I wanted to make sure he got that as quickly as possible. And then it was there again. The elephant in the room. Shrugging, I continued hesitantly. “I don’t...I got the feeling Jake was leaving some stuff out.”

“I think...I think I need to be alone now,” he spoke softly, staring into his cup with an agonized expression. “I need to process. I appreciate you telling me though. It would’ve been worse if I’d gone on not knowing.”

“I figured.” Giving him a small smile, I picked up the tray. “I’ll see if I can get Jake to convince Solo to reach out to you. That way you can be looped in.”

“Thank you, Luke.” Eli stood up, rubbing his chest and then slipping his hands into his pockets. “You’re a good friend. I won’t bother you guys. Let Jake know he can stay as long as he likes, and...no hard feelings.” With that, he shuttled along the hallway to his room, my reassurances that he wasn’t a bother, that we were both there for him, voiced to his back. I was sure he’d heard, though, and with that reassurance I put Eli from my mind. Jake needed me now, and I was determined to give him all of my attention. 

“How are you doing, darling?” I called out, slipping into the bedroom and setting the tray of food on the bed. Continuing into the bathroom, I smiled. Jake was fresh out of the bath, drying himself off with a clean, fluffy towel. It was so good to see him there. There was a distance between us. I knew part of it was due to Duo, but...I couldn’t figure out the rest of it. I was, however, determined to fix it. 

“Oh, good. I was just about to come out and let you know I think I’m ready to eat.” He smiled shyly at me, wrapping his towel around his waist. “I feel a lot better after a bath. Do you think I could wear one of your shirts?” 

“Of course you can.” It was an easy request to fill, and one I did immediately, going to the closet and pulling out a thin, deep blue sweater, holding it out to him. “Here. This will fit. It might be a little loose, but it’ll do.” Jake was grateful for it, tugging it on and tugging the collar to his nose, inhaling deeply. It was a sweet gesture, one that made my worry about the distance between us lessen. 

“So, what do you have for me? And was that Eli I heard while I was in the bath?” 

“It was,” I confirmed, taking out a pair of clean black boxers and offering them to him, then settling on the bed. “He understands why he can’t just show up at the hospital. But I think Solo should reach out to him.” 

“Good. I’m glad. I was worried he wouldn’t take it very well, but he’s a pretty thoughtful guy.” He pulled the boxers on, running a hand through his hair and settling beside me, reaching for the cup of tea. “I’m glad he can be reasonable about it. As for Solo...I’ll talk to him about it. There’s no guarantee he’ll listen to me, though.” We chatted some more, talking about the situation at hand as he ate his food. There was someone new at the hospital, someone I didn’t know. Another member of the Maxwell family, and someone Jake seemed to like. It was cute, the way he tried to hide his blushing. And a little painful, even as I tried to pass off his excitement as being due to Jake meeting another dancer. I couldn’t begrudge him that. 

I kept my thoughts to myself, making sure he ate his food and drank his tea as we talked. And then he was finished, crawling into my lap and seeking comfort. I was happy to give it, running my hand through his hair and wrapping an arm around his waist. I’d promised him a back rub, something he was quick to remind me off. I was more than ready for that, even as he paused, pulling back, face going dark again. It made me tense, worry once more seeping into me. 

“There is one thing I forgot to tell you earlier, about Duo…” He bit his lip. “And I think you should keep this detail from Eli for right now. Duo should be the one to tell him, if he chooses.” I wasn’t surprised. I’d known he was holding something back, and told him so, stroking my fingers through his hair as he swallowed, preparing himself for what he had to say. “It’s just...hard to think about, let alone even say. The doctor said that, in addition to the external injuries he sustained, Duo was also...assaulted.” 

It took me a couple of moments to process it. The whole attack was assault. Even though I’d suspected as much, hearing it was completely different. I wrapped my arms tightly around him, kissing the top of his head. It was clear that Jake was lost. He didn’t know how Duo was going to react as he started to remember, and didn’t know how he was going to help. But that was Jake--always wanting to take care of others. 

It reminded me that I was there to take care of him, watching as he sprawled out on his stomach. The nightmare wasn’t over. I couldn't take it from him. Duo was still lying in a hospital bed, bearing scars he would never be able to remove. But I could help Jake forget. And for the rest of the night, that’s what I did, first with the massage and then with sex, bringing him to a riotous finish that left him loose-limbed and sated, flashing me a lazy smile as he stretched out in my arms. My boy was taken care of, and he had a place with me. Something I made sure he knew, running my fingers up and down his back. And then my boy was asleep, curled close to me, arm draped over my chest. Maybe there was distance between us, but we’d be okay. I hoped.


	17. Jake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter from Jake! This time, he and Solo go toe to toe arguing about Duo, and Trowa helps him plot. No major triggers for this section—it’s mostly a short snippet paving the way for the next chapter. 
> 
> Thank you so much to anyone who’s read and commented! We both really appreciate it. 
> 
> <3,  
> Amberly

I felt better after telling Luke about Duo. I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m a bad liar, but that’s not all: I’m bad at withholding information too. Anything that feels like lying to me, even if it’s just by omission? I can’t do it, at least not for long. And forget about keeping a secret unless I’m really motivated or it’s, like, a matter of life or death for the person involved (I would never out someone, for example, because that’s just shitty). It was a weight off my shoulders that Luke knew--and Eli too, apparently. I hadn’t seen him react since I’d been in the bath when Luke told him, but Luke was calm, and he was good friends with Eli. I trusted him. If anyone could make Eli see reason and keep him from storming the hospital while I pled his case, it was Luke.

Before I went back the next day after class, I stopped by the dorm to change. I put a little more care into my appearance than I had the day before. Making myself pretty made me feel good. I also figured it would help my case when I pulled Trowa aside to talk about getting Eli in to see Duo. My jeans were tight and skinny, a pale blue that offset my eyes, my sweater cream-colored and cozy, and I had glitter on my fingernails and eyelids, lips painted glossy pink. I wasn’t above using my appearance to get what I wanted, even though I didn’t think I really needed it. Either way, when I looked good, I felt good, and I needed that right now beyond what it could do for me.

Nervously fingering one of the faux diamond studs in my ears, I took a deep breath, ignoring the smell of bad hospital food, and peeked into Duo’s room, where I immediately spotted Solo and Trowa seated in chairs on either side of the bed, keeping steadfast watch over our boy. Duo was still sleeping, Solo absorbed in his thoughts, Trowa lost in a book. They didn’t notice me until I announced myself. “Hello?” I watched them turn to look at me, Solo smiling, Trowa’s eyes widening perceptibly as he drank me in, leaving the book open in his lap. 

I met those eyes with a smile as both men greeted me, feeling my cheeks heat at the attention, a small thrill running through me. I allowed myself that one small, momentary indulgence, and then I shifted my gaze to Solo, rejecting the barrage of tender feelings that came over me as I looked at him. I wanted to go to him, slide into his lap, wrap my arms around his neck, and see what comfort we could find in each other, remembering how good his arms had felt around me before. It was an intrusive thought, one I promptly squashed. No flirting today. No nonsense. Today was all business. I was sick of sitting around feeling helpless.

“You look better today. Well rested, finally.” I came into the room and dropped my bag, then slid my hands into my back pockets, jerking my chin at Duo. “Has he woken up again? You didn’t call or text, so I’m guessing not much has changed?”

”He woke up a little, around ten this morning, but not for long.” Solo sighed, running a hand over his hair, back in a loose ponytail. “We’re waiting for the doctor to get here so we can wake him up for good. It shouldn’t be too much longer. There’s just the concern he’s going to freak out.”

“He has slept,” Trowa added. “The nurses say it is the best thing for him right now, given how upset he was last time. I am glad you were able to get some rest.” We exchanged more smiles, awkward and a little unsure as I hovered between them, poised at the end of the bed.

“Thanks. I was. It was nice to relax some.” I cleared my throat, resisting the urge to gloat about the night of hot sex I’d just had while they’d worried over Duo’s hospital bed. Somehow it didn’t seem appropriate, even if part of me was dying to see them react. I didn’t think Solo would care either way. He was used to me mooning about the cafe and being loud and proud about my sex life. That in mind, I continued, squaring my shoulders and setting my jaw, my attention centering on him again. “So, Solo, what do you think about reaching out to Eli soon? Duo’s going to be asking for him again. He’s going to need him.” 

It wasn’t what he wanted to hear. I could tell that immediately. He clenched his jaw and sighed, shaking his head, and everything in me went on the defensive.

“I don’t think so, Jake. I mean, Duo isn’t even conscious yet. And even once he is, I kinda wanna keep him safe and quiet while he heals. He’s got a lot of damage right now.” True, it was nothing less than I’d expected, but I’d at least hoped he’d hear me out, not dismiss me like some stupid kid who didn’t know anything. Maybe I was some stupid kid in his eyes, but it still got my blood boiling. I was sick of not being taken seriously. Goddamnit, he was going to hear me whether he liked it or not.

Tactfully, Trowa kept quiet as I threw my hands up and glared at Solo. I put everything I had into it, all my fear and confusion, all my anger and frustration.

“You’re impossible,” I hissed, nostrils flaring. “What? And you think keeping his boyfriend from him is going to help? Have you actually heard him asking for Eli? All I’m asking is for you to, at the very least, reach out to him and let him know Duo’s in the hospital so he’s not worried sick over where he is.” I planted my hands on my hips, unwavering, not realizing just how much I’d raised my voice. “It’s the decent thing to do, Solo!”

Solo glared right back at me, crossing his arms over his chest. I was hot all over, flushed with rage as we faced off against each other, neither of us willing to yield. I couldn’t believe this. We were supposed to be friends! We were supposed to be on the same side! Why wouldn’t he listen to me? I was trying to cooperate and see his side of things, because I understood where he was coming from, I did, but he was making compromise impossible by being so stubborn. Sure, he was Duo’s legal guardian. I could concede that, and I could accept the fact that, in the end, the decision was his. But we all loved Duo and wanted the best for him, so why was he the only one who got a say? It just didn’t seem fair to me.

“If I text him, he’s going to want to come here. And Duo doesn’t need that stress! Not right now! He needs his family. Eli can wait.” He actually had the nerve to turn away from me then, intent on ignoring the rest of what I had to say. Bastard.

“Gee, I can’t see why any of your relationships haven’t worked out.” My tone was scathing. Maybe it was a low blow, but I couldn’t feel bad for it. I was done playing nice and didn’t know how else to get through to him, my upper lip curled in a snarl as I continued, looking at Trowa. If Solo was going to ignore me, well, two could play that game. “No offense, Trowa. I’m going to get some coffee. I’m sick of being treated like a child. Clearly, my opinion has no value around here, so I’m going to make myself scarce for a bit.” Hoisting my bag over my shoulder, I shot Solo a withering glare. “Let me know if anything changes. Including your being a stubborn ass.”

Trowa stood, following me to the door. “I could use some coffee. Come. We will find the cafe. Food would be a good idea as well. I think maybe ‘mouse’ is not the right nickname for you.”

More than anything, Trowa looked amused by my outburst, coaxing a smile out of me as we left. There was no response from Solo. Whatever. Let him be pissed. I didn’t care. I knew what I thought was right, and I wouldn’t be swayed, even if I hated being on Solo’s bad side.

I slumped as soon as we were out in the hall, running a hand through my hair, jaw clenched. “I’m sorry you got caught in the middle of all this, Trowa. He just--ugh! He just frustrates me so much!” I sighed, deflating as I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. “I love Solo, I do, but the thing about Solo is that Solo’s always right, and he doesn’t budge for anything. God, I can’t believe I used to have a crush on him!”

I guess I forgot to mention that, huh? That I used to have a small crush on Solo? It’s not a big deal or anything. It was at the start of the school year, shortly after Duo and I first met, and I hadn’t known what a rigid ass Solo was at the time. If I had, I never would have bothered. Anyway, the important thing was I definitely did not have a crush on him anymore. 

“I can’t deal with someone who’s not willing to compromise, you know?” I continued, looking down at the floor with a small, fretful pout. “I know he’s under a lot of stress, and yeah, Duo’s his brother, and I get that he’s worried about him, but he’s being completely unreasonable about the whole Eli thing!” I stopped rambling, drawing my lower lip between my teeth as I looked up at him, hopeful that we could at least agree on that. Trowa seemed like a reasonable guy, but could I really blame him if he took Solo’s side? I didn’t think I could, not with the history they had. “Don’t you think?”

Trowa led me to the elevator, surprising me with his response. “I do think. But I also know Solo. Duo and Nadia are the only family he has left, and he takes it very seriously, keeping them safe. And he has failed. He let Duo get hurt. It is hard to reason with someone when they are caught up in feeling protective and guilty.” 

He had a point. I knew it, even as my frown grew deeper. “I feel like...he doesn’t listen to me because he doesn’t respect me. I’m just a kid. Just his kid brother’s friend, you know? So what do I know? But I’m not! I know I’m small, but I’m more than that, and I deserve to be heard!” My feelings were hurt. It was about more than just Eli, I realized, even as I tried to tell myself that it wasn’t about me at all. “Anyway, he didn’t fail.” I sighed, shrugging as if I didn’t care. Honestly, I cared too much, and what I hated most of all was how helpless I felt. “What happened to Duo is no one’s fault. Things just happen, and all we can do is try to deal with them and--and move on as best we can.”

“Jake.” Trowa touched my shoulder as we entered the elevator. “It is not about you. I promise. It is not about you at all. Solo does respect you, and he respects your opinion. If he did not, you would not be here. He would not have called you.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. Tucking my hands behind my back, I tipped my head against the wall. “I don’t know. That’s not the way it feels sometimes, but I might be a little over-sensitive right now. I think we all are.” Reaching for his hand, I gave it a grateful squeeze and realized as I did that I hadn’t thought much about how Trowa was dealing with all of this. It was a shameful oversight on my part. “How are you, though?”

The question earned me a smile as we stepped out of the elevator. “I am okay. I will see how I am when Duo wakes up. I do not believe it will be easy. For him, or for us. I agree with you, by the way. Duo has been asking for Eli. And Eli should know.”

Hearing him say so made something in me unclench, just a little bit. It was good to know I wasn’t alone. I followed Trowa through the cafeteria line as he grabbed sandwiches, chips, and two cups of coffee, one for each of us. Solo could get his own damn coffee, as far as I was concerned.

“I did tell Luke,” I admitted, worrying my lower lip. “My boyfriend. I told him about Duo. He’s Eli’s roommate. I don’t think I can keep him from telling Eli, but I asked him not to tell him about the assault, at least. I figure, when Duo’s awake, it’s up to him to decide how much he wants to share with Eli about what happened.”

Trowa nodded. He didn’t chastise me or criticize me, he just listened and understood. I hadn’t realized how much I’d needed it up until then. Having his approval was a good feeling. Trowa was important to Solo, and Duo--the entire Maxwell clan, really--which meant he was important to me too. I wanted him to think highly of me.

“So what is the plan?” That was all he said, and I could’ve kissed him for it, because I knew exactly what he meant.

I matched his grin with an impish one of my own, curling a lock of hair around my finger and practically batting my lashes at him. I didn’t need to call upon every last ounce of sex appeal I had, but I did anyway. So sue me, I enjoyed it. “What would you say to getting Solo out of here for a little while? Once Duo’s awake, of course, and relatively stable. Do you think you could manage that?”

Trowa was quick to agree, and we continued to make conversation as we sat, digging into our sad hospital meals. It felt good to change the subject for a little while. I learned Trowa wasn’t dating anyone back home in Russia and made him promise to let me take him out for a night on the town before he went back. Mostly, I wanted to make sure he got a chance to have some fun while he was here. He deserved it for coming such a long way.

Eventually, though, even I had to admit we should probably be getting back. Duo might have woken up, and I didn’t want to miss it, even if I was dreading confronting Solo again.

“He should feel lucky, you know,” I commented, energized by the food in my belly as I strode down the hall to Duo’s room, Trowa at my side. I was talking about Solo, of course. “I’m sure Luke’s already told Eli at least some of what I told him.” I knew he had, but Trowa didn’t need to know that. I felt guilty enough without implicating myself further. I’d done the right thing, but I still didn’t like going behind Solo’s back, even as I plotted to do it again. “I mean, Solo doesn’t know I told Luke, but still...he’s lucky Eli hasn’t stormed in here yet. Honestly, I think he’s got better sense than that.”

“That is good. It is no good for anyone to be making drama right now. Duo deserves better.” He smiled. “I already respect this Eli.”

“I think you’d like him,” I smiled back, taking a sip of my cooling coffee. “I can see the two of you getting along.”

It turned out I didn’t have to worry about how Solo and I were going to get along after our little spat, because as Trowa and I turned the corner and entered the room, the first thing we noticed was Duo. He was awake.


	18. Duo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Duo is awake! And he has a long road to recovery ahead of him. In this chapter, Duo learns what happened to him and struggles to make sense of it with Solo, Trowa, and Jake at his side-and, finally, Eli, thanks to the efforts of Trowa and Jake. There are some allusions to Duo's attack and the full extent of it here, but nothing explicit. 
> 
> Now, for a little (self) congratulatory note...
> 
> We've reached the halfway mark of our fic, if you can believe it! Somewhere along the line 34 chapters turned into 37 as we realized we needed to split some things up and add more in, and those 37 chapters don't even begin to scratch the surface of how wide and sprawling this universe has become for us. There are so many little details and scenes we've had to leave out just because there's no way we could include them all (not without it rambling on for far too long, anyway), but it means a lot to us to get to share this little taste with those of you have been reading. It's been said before and I'm sure we'll both say it again, but I think it's something that bears repeating, how important this is to us. The support we've received has had a big hand in our continued desire to share, so thank you. 
> 
> -Zillah

I didn’t know where I was at first. I knew someone was holding my hand, and I knew I was kinda cold, and definitely groggy. In a whole wide world of pain, even with the edge of it dulled. But that was it. Part of my brain kind of remembered Jake and Trowa telling me I was in the hospital, but I had no idea why. Flexing my fingers brought the weight of a gaze, and the next thing I knew Solo was leaning in, brushing my hair back from my eyes. Jake and Trowa were there next, the two of them pausing in the doorway. Jake, of course, immediately rushed to my side, taking the hand Solo wasn’t holding. 

“Oh. He is awake.”

“Yeah. The doctor should be here any minute. He just woke up,” Solo pulled back some, addressing them. 

“Tro? And—Jake?” I was surprised by how hoarse I was, swallowing hard. “Hey. What’s—going on?”

“Hey, sweetheart. It’s nice to see you awake. I missed those pretty eyes of yours.” Jake brought my hand to his lips, kissing the knuckles. My lips quirked, squeezing his hand. Trowa was silent, standing behind Solo with an intent expression. 

“We’ve all been worried about you, kitten.” My big brother took a deep breath, squeezing my other hand. “Do you remember anything? Do you know where you are?”

“Hospital? My head hurts,” I slurred. “I don’t remember.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to remember right now.” Thank God for Jake. He held my hand, stroking it and reassuring me as fast as I opened my mouth. Trowa was right on his heels. 

“Da. Just relax. It is okay if you do not remember.” 

“Yeah, buddy. You’re in the hospital. There was—an accident.” Solo swallowed hard. “We should wait for the doctor. Do you want some water? Or something?” 

An accident. There had been an accident. Whatever I was going to say caught in my throat, my eyes widening as the looked around the room. All three of them looked worried. They looked like I had died, not just been hurt, and panic welled in my chest, my breath hitching. I was asking when the doctor came in. 

“Hello. Ah, I see he is awake.” She looked around the room, then addressed Solo, keeping her voice soft. “Perhaps we should talk privately. We don’t want to overwhelm him.” Already Jake was letting go of my hand, biting his lip as he sat back. He took Trowa’s instead, letting him lead them both out of the room, giving us room. I still didn’t understand, even as Solo came to stand next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder, holding me close to him as the door shut. Everyone was acting like I’d died--like I was dying, and the panic peaked, my breath coming in sharp, short gasps as I looked between them. 

“It’s okay,” the doctor soothed, holding out a hand. “You’re okay. Take a deep breath, Duo. I’ll explain everything, but I need you to calm down, okay?” Solo was there, leaning in to meet my eyes, expression serious. 

“Come on, little brother. You heard him. Take a deep breath, okay? I’ve got you. I’m right here.” He ran his hand over my hair, leaning in and kissing my forehead. Wrapping my fingers around his wrists, I struggled to breathe. Swallowing, I nodded, ducking my head, resting it against his for a few minutes. There weren’t many people who could calm me down, but Solo was one of them. It was enough to steady me, and enough to make me wish for Nadia, the feel of my twin’s fingers in my hair. Taking a deep breath, I sat back, looking up at the doctor with a set jaw. I wasn’t ready, still woozy from whatever was in the IV, but I needed to know what had happened. 

“Do you want to start?” The doctor asked, looking at my brother. I could feel him shudder, then nod. 

“Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.” Solo pulled away just enough to give me room to breathe, rubbing the back of his neck. That gesture alone soothed me more than anything. It was something we shared, something I’d grown up seeing. My dumb big brother was there, right there with me, and he’d be by my side through whatever was coming. “I, uh. I found you. Outside the cafe. It was--last night? The night before last? I don’t remember. You were--” His breath hitched, my skin itching with panic as he closed his eyes. “You looked awful. It--you were half-dressed and covered in blood, and you were barely breathing. It--I called an ambulance. You--God, Duo--” Solo’s voice cracked, his hand tight on mine. It hurt, but I couldn't say anything, trembling violently as I looked up at the doctor. 

“You were in surgery for quite some time,” the doctor continued. “You still have a perforated lung, and some cracked ribs.” She hesitated, dark eyes full of sympathy as she looked at him. “You were also assaulted. I’m sorry. “ Clearing her throat, she continued. “We’ve got you on some heavy antibiotics, and pain meds--I’m sure you can feel those. You’re going to be in here for at least a week, I’m afraid.” 

I stared at her. Everything she’d said was meaningless. Everything both of them had said was. All I could do was stare at them. And then it hit me--attacked, assaulted. Someone had waited and hurt me and I--I didn’t remember. I could feel it, but I didn’t remember. Wailing, I collapsed, covering my face with my hands, sobbing wildly. I hurt, anguished, barely aware of Solo’s arms around me. He and the doctor were talking, something about what kind of care to give me. All I could do was shake, and sob. 

I was still crying when Jake and Trowa came back into the room. Jake was at my side immediately, taking my hand when I reached for him. Gently, he took me from Solo, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pressing a kiss to my cheek, holding me tightly. Trowa and Solo were talking, too quietly for me to here. I couldn’t focus anyway. I was too busy crying, sobbing against Jake’s chest. Whimpering, I clung to him, looking up at him as my tears slowly stopped. 

“How did this happen?” I asked softly, voice wavering. “I just--how could someone hate me so much?” 

“I don’t know. I wish I did,” Jake leaned in, resting their foreheads together, thumb stroking the bruised skin of my cheek in a soothing rhythm. “You didn’t deserve this. You’re the last person this should’ve happened to. You’re going to be okay, though. Everything’s going to be alright. Maybe not for a little while, but eventually...eventually, they will be again.” I clung to him, his tenderness setting off a fresh round of tears, lower lip trembling as they spilled over my cheeks. 

“I don’t--I don’t remember it. I don’t remember anything. Do they--” I cut off, unable to ask the question. I didn’t want to know who’d done it. If they knew. I figured they didn’t, since they hadn’t told me. Unless it was Eli. The thought alone sent a wave of nausea through me, so intense I almost threw up right there, pressing my face to Jake’s chest in an effort to steady myself. 

“Maybe it’s better this way, baby,” Jake suggested, stroking my hair back from my face. “At least for right now. You need to focus on letting your body heal before we worry about dealing with anything else, okay?” 

“Duo,” my brother was there, stroking my back and cutting off anything I might’ve said. “Do--do you want anything? From home? I have to meet with the cops again. But Jake and Trowa will--one of them will be here. We won’t let you be alone.” 

“Da. Jake and I will not leave your side.” 

“They’re right. We’re not gonna leave you,” Jake smiled at me, big blue eyes soft. “I’m here for you, whatever you need.” Clutching at Jake, I looked at Solo, still on the verge of tears. Things. From home. Swallowing, I nodded, trying to think of what I might need. 

“My--I want my phone. And--my hoodie? And a blanket? And--” I flushed. “Can you bring Cat?” 

“Of course I can bring Cat.” It was affectionate, accompanied by an eyeroll. Somehow it was even more comforting than the hand in my hair. “I can bring you whatever you need, little brother. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.” 

“I think that I will go with him. Someone needs to make sure that your dumb big brother sleeps.” Trowa leaned in, kissing my forehead. It was normal. So normal, my heart aching in my chest as I soaked it up. “We will be back, kotyonok. And Jake will be here.” The two of them exchanged a look, but the meaning was lost on me, focus returning on Jake. He was smiling at me, stroking my hair as they left. 

“Is there anything I can do for you right now, sweetheart?” 

I shook my head, clinging tightly to Jake, unable to do anything more than just cry.

“It hurts. It hurts—and I have to—to eat before I can have more meds.” Breath hitching, I buried my face against his chest, pouting. It felt so unjust, making me eat. I knew my body was hungry, but I didn’t want to feed it. Jake, practical as ever, stroked my hair and tried to talk me into it. 

“I know it hurts. It’ll get better. And you should eat. You need to regain your strength so you can go back to being the badass I know and love.” He smiled me, and I couldn’t help but smile back. Jake was my best friend, he knew me better than anyway, and having him there with me eases some of the hurt. I wasn’t ready to eat just yet. There was a question I needed answered, first. 

“Was—do they know who it was?”

“No, they don’t. No one knows,” he slumped, shaking his head. “We’ve been trying to figure out who would’ve done something like this to you.” There was a pause before he continued, gently. “Do you have any idea who it could’ve been?” I felt nothing but relief at his words. 

“So it wasn’t Eli.” It was good to know that, to fill the certainty. If it had been Eli, Jake would’ve told me. They’d know who it was. And then the tears hit again for new reason. Looking up at Jake, I bit my lip, almost afraid to hear the answer to my next question. “Why isn’t—why isn’t Eli here? If he didn’t—if he didn’t do it, why isn’t he here?”

“No. God, no.” Jake seemed almost horrified that I was asking, taking my hand. “It wasn’t Eli. And he’s not here...I don’t want to throw Solo under the bus, but he didn’t want to tell Eli until we knew more about what happened. He thought having Eli here would put too much added pressure on you, along with everything else. So he was never told…” Jake trailed off, biting his lip. I felt nothing but relief as he continued on, telling me how he’d gotten around Solo making him promise not to tell. I felt a surge of affection for him, lips curving in an almost smile as he promised that if I wanted Eli there, he would get him, now that Solo was out. I was so relieved I could hardly stand it, letting it a soft, hiccuping laugh. My relief overwhelmed everything else, including the flickering anger that Solo could ever have suspected my boyfriend. I was probably a little hysterical, but I couldn’t help it. Eli hadn’t done it, and Eli wasn’t avoiding me. He wasn’t disgusted by what had happened. It was my just my big dumb brother, being my big dumb brother the best way he knew how. 

“I do. I do—want him here. Please. Please, Mouse. I need—I need Eli.” Jake took his phone out as soon as I said it, tapping out a quick text, then leaning over me, stroking my cheek. 

“There.” He rested our foreheads together. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. He’ll be here soon.” Jake squeezed my hand, expression solemn. “And I just want you to know that it’s entirely up to you, how much you want to tell him about what happened.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, rubbing my cheek against him. “Solo means well. And he doesn’t know Eli like I do. I’m—I’m surprised he didn’t suspect you, honestly. It’s just how he is.”

“I know he does. He’s a good brother. We’re all just—wound a little tight right now. And driving each other crazy, I think.” He grinned, rolling his eyes as he reached over to tuck back a lock of my hair. “Trowa’s pretty amazing though…”

“I knew you’d like him.” I settled back against the pillows, wincing, then quickly wiping my face clean. I didn’t want any more pain medication. Not yet. I needed to see Eli first, and I didn’t want to risk the meds putting me to sleep. “Is there any water?” Jake was on his feet in an instant, searching for a glass of water. There was one on the nightstand, and he picked it up, holding the straw out for me.

“Here you go, angel face.” 

I couldn’t have asked for a better friend. I was no angel face, and I knew it. I could feel the bruising, all of my body. My ribs ached, and I had tubes and wires everywhere. And that wasn’t even including the dirty hair. I wanted a shower, more than anything. But for now, well. I was content to let Jake compliment me as I sipped my water, waiting anxiously for Eli to show up. The knock at the door made me flinch and then hate myself. I was safe, in a hospital, with Jake by my side. Nothing was going to happen to me.

Eli was there, looking better than anything I’d ever seen in jeans and a black sweater. He looked so much calmer than I felt, even with the hint of strain showing around his eyes. Jake was heading to the door already, murmuring something to Eli that made him exhale and offer a slight, strained smile. He squeezed Jake’s shoulder, then moved past him, breath hitching some at the sight of me. Whatever he saw he kept out of his expression, smiling as he sat by my side, taking my hand and looking me over.

“Hey, kitten,” Eli spoke softly, kissing the back of my hand. “You look gorgeous, as always.” 

“Hey, Casanova,” I squeezed his hand, voice hoarse but full of affection. “You’re a liar, but I’ll take it. I’m so happy to see you.” Jake cleared his throat, reminding us both he was there, our heads turning towards him in sync. 

“I’m gonna give you two some privacy, okay? But I’ll be right outside the door if you need me.” I could’ve kissed him at the announcement. My best friend slipped out with a smile on his face, shutting the door firmly behind himself, leaving me with the love of my life. Our focus snapped back to each other in an instance, as if Jake had never even opened his mouth. 

“I’m not lying. You’re beautiful. Just like you always are.” His smile was genuine, green eyes crinkled at the corners, if a little glassy. Taking my hand, he brought it to his own chest, holding it over his heart tenderly and stroking the back of it. “I’m so happy to see you too. You had me worried sick about you, babe. How do you feel?” Even in the hospital, this man knew how to make me blush. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t--mean to worry you.” Guilt flickered through me as I sat up straighter, ignoring the twinge in my ribs. Gesturing to my cup, I bit my lip. “Can you get me that? I’m so thirsty. My throat hurts. All of me hurts.” 

“It’s not your fault, kitten. I wish I could’ve come sooner, but I understand Solo had his reasons for keeping things quiet. Sounds like you’ve had quite the ordeal.” Eli pressed a kiss to my fingers, then reached for the cup of water, refilling my cup. “Here you go. Let me know if you need more.” He held it the straw to my lips, looking me over with sharp eyes, so quick I almost missed it. “I imagine you do. Three cracked ribs, huh?” 

“Yeah, I guess.” Exhausted, I slumped back against the bed. It was hard to keep myself upright, and even harder to continue. It never occurred to me to not tell Eli about the assault. It was something he needed to know, and I knew I needed him for it. No matter how dirty it made me feel, how unworthy of the love he so freely gave me. Wetting my lips, I looked down, hands in my lap. “Three cracked ribs and a perforated lung. Tons of bruising and scratches and torn nails...and I won’t get the STD panel back until tomorrow.” 

I felt him freeze as I said it. I didn’t see his face, but I felt it. Shoulders hunching, I picked at the blanket. 

“The--the what?” It was flat. “Were you…” 

“Yeah. Yeah.” 

“Oh.” There were a few moments of silence, and then he let out whatever breath he’d been holding, sagging in his chair. “Duo, I’m--come here.” He wrapped both his arms around me, gathering me close to his chest. “We’re going to find out who did this to you. We’re going to find out, one way or another, and they’re not going to get away with it. I promise you.” There was so much outrage in his voice, even as he kissed the top of my head. Outrage for me. I melted against him, sniffling as I started to cry again, face pressed to his chest, fists curled weakly in his shirt. He wasn’t mad at me. Didn’t blame me. 

“I love you. You know that’s not going to change, right? I’m so sorry this happened to you, baby. I am so, so sorry.” His hands were in my hair, stroking down my back as I clung to him. I was sobbing, babbling apologies into his tear-stained shirt as the panic rose, my heart hammering in my chest. “It’s going to be alright. It’s alright. I’ve got you kitten.” He took a deep breath, voice thick with tears as he rubbed my back. Someone opened the door, my whole body tensing until I heard the nurse, speaking softly to Eli as she gave me the next dose of whatever it was they had me on. I’d been told, but I didn’t remember then. I was still crying, still apologizing for everything that wasn’t my fault, fingers so tight in his shirt they were tearing the fabric. 

“Shh, it’s alright. You have nothing to apologize for. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything to deserve this.” There were lips at my temple, fingers curling through my hair. “It’s not your fault.” I was still clinging to him, slumping exhaustedly against his chest as the drugs took effect, shivering in the cold of the hospital room. When I looked at him, it was with red eyes and a trembling lower lip. Easing me back against the bed, Eli leaned in close, half-lying on the bed as he pressed a kiss to my forehead. 

“I love you, Duo. I’m not going anywhere. I want you to understand that. You’re stuck with me, kitten.” Tenderly, he framed my face with his hands, resting our foreheads together. I shuddered, swallowing hard as I nodded. I understood. Somehow, he’d known what I was scared of. How terrified I was that he would leave me, or blame me. Curling his arm around my waist, he laid his head on my chest, eyes shut.

“I love you too, Casanova. My poet.” My eyes fluttered shut. Snapping them open, I looked down at him, wetting my lips. “You won’t leave? Even though--even though someone--” 

“I am yours. Always.” He smiled, gaze just as adoring as it had always been. Nothing had changed between us, and that surety warmed me. Settled over me like a blanket as I shifted as close to him as I could get, his arm tight around his waist, head still on my chest. “I won’t leave. Not if you don’t want me to. There’s nowhere else I wanna be but right here next to you.” 

“Good,” I told him softly. “Don’t want you to.” The hand I held his with tightened, the other sliding into his hair. I’d never loved anyone this much. “Love you.” I fell asleep like that, holding tight to him, most of his body on the bed with me, our bodies as entwined as our hearts.


	19. Solo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday All! It’s time for our favorite big brother to chime in for a bit. We get some more of The Maxwell Family History, and Solo has a moment with Eli. This chapter has a very brief mention of previous violent event—it’s not overly graphic, but it is told from Solo’s point of view, and obviously he has some Feelings about it. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who’s kept up with this fic and left us comments! We really appreciate it, and are excited to bring more Solo for you all to enjoy!
> 
> <3   
> Amberly

When our mama spun out and hit a tree, I knew the twins had to leave New Orleans. There was no way I was gonna let them stay with our daddy. The mean old drunk didn’t deserve them, first. And second. Second, my baby brother deserved better than a pair of fists and catholic fury. Mama had done her part, getting the two of them out of there when Duo hit 7th grade and started stealing Nadia’s clothes. Now it was my turn. I flew down to New Orleans the day I got the news, and spent my first summer as a business owner fighting tooth and nail for custody. I didn’t have a lot of income, and my apartment over the cafe was small, and cramped, but I knew I had more to offer than our old man did. The day he showed up in court drunk and swore he could beat the queer out of his son, the judge knew too. We drove back to New York the next day.

The sight of Duo unconscious in the parking lot outside the cafe was gonna haunt me for the rest of my life. He looked smaller than usual, pale and bruised in the moonlight, hair matted with blood. It broke me in all the ways dad hadn’t. I cried as I called the cops, I cried as I drove the hospital, and I cried again when the doctor told me he wasn’t gonna die. I didn’t know how I was gonna tell Nadia, half a world away, that I’d failed. That she’d left her twin in my care and I hadn’t been able to protect him. Devastated doesn’t even begin to describe it.

So maybe I got a little overprotective. Jake was there, and Trowa flew in from St. Petersburg. That was family. Eli? Eli was still just a boyfriend. A prime suspect, in my eyes, no matter how much our little mouse insisted he couldn’t have done it. Knowing how in love with Eli Duo was didn’t help. Hearing how in love with Duo Eli was didn’t help. I didn’t want him anywhere near Duo, and as much as I tried to say it was so Duo could decide, I knew that wasn’t true. I was scared--scared that someone else would get in and hurt Duo again, and I wouldn’t be able to do anything to stop it. Fighting with Jake hurt my heart, but my heart came secondary to my baby brother. It always had.

In retrospect, I should’ve known something was up. Jake and Trowa got along too well right off the bat. It was inevitable that they would gang up on me. I was too tired to be suspicious when Trowa made me go home to sleep. I didn’t suspect anything until we made it to the hospital. I stepped out of the elevator toting a bag of Duo’s stuff and the giant black stuffed cat he loved and froze, panic racing through me--followed by suspicion, my eyes narrowing at him.

“What’s wrong?” I barked, striding down the hall with Trowa hot on my heels. “Is he--why are you--”

“Solo,” he started, “calm down. It is okay.” Jake was on his feet in an instant, holding his hands up.

“Everything’s fine,” the blond soothed, eyes darting to the room. Whatever he saw made him smile, which only raised my hackles further. “Shh, they’re sleeping. Eli’s with him.”

“What?” I could feel myself flushing. “You--you called--” I whirled, turning my fury on someone who could take it, staring into Trowa’s cool green gaze. “You fucking traitor.”

“You are unreasonable,” Trowa spoke calmly, arms crossing over his chest.

I yanked the door open without thought, then froze again, the second time in less than ten minutes, my hand tightening on Duo’s cat. I’m sure my jaw was dropped open too as I stared. They were both squeezed onto that little hospital bed, Eli’s arms tight around Duo’s waist, Duo’s head tucked tight under his chin.

“Oh,” I whispered, biting my lip.

“See,” Trowa winked at Jake as he spoke, lips quirking. “They are fine.”

“Yeah,” Jake echoed. “They’re fine. Duo had a moment where he started to freak out, but the nurse came in and gave him his meds, and they both fell asleep. I wanted to give them their privacy, but I’ve been keeping an eye on them.” He stepped closer to me, sliding his small hand into mine. It was a perfect fit, warmth flushing through me as I looked down at him. “Duo asked for him, Solo. He begged me. I couldn’t tell him no.”

“Okay,” I replied at last, heart still racing at the simple touch. I ran my other hand over my face, taking a deep breath. “Okay. Okay. If he wanted him here, okay.” I squeezed Jake’s hand, then let go of it, making my way into the room. There was soft, hushed chatter behind me, Trowa and Jake congratulating each other I’m sure. I barely heard it. Walking on silent feet, I walked towards the bed, setting the bag down on the chair closest to it. The cat I tucked into Duo’s other side, still awed at the sight of Eli holding Duo so close, so gentle, after everything. What older brother doesn’t want their sibling to find love? And Duo had it. Wrapped tight around him in a hospital room, the both of them clinging to each other like vines.

“I should talk to the nurse,” I murmured, gently stroking a lock of hair back from Duo’s face, then heading back towards the door. “I want to see when he can shower. He’ll wanna wash his hair...I think at this point, you and I can go back to business as usual, mouse. You have class, and I have to open the cafe. Between the four of us, Duo’ll always have someone with him.”

“He will,” Trowa agreed. “Plenty of people. As he should. This is good, Solo.”

“Just let me know when you want me to come to work. I know the schedule kind of got thrown out the window there.” Jake made a face, then smiled. “I can cover for Duo as much as you need, and I bet Eli would be willing to lend a hand if you asked.”

“Okay. You go home for now, mouse. I want to talk to the nurse, and then Eli, and then I think I need to sleep. I can call you about shifts after.” Tilting my head, I shot a look sideways towards Trowa. “You can go and open the cafe. Since it’s half yours.” He blinked at me, then laughed, shaking his head, lips quirking.

“I deserved that,” he admitted. “Okay. I will go and open the cafe tonight. Jake, come in only if you are already scheduled. If not, do not worry. Go and rest.”

With the plan in place, the two of them left. Trowa and Jake got on a little too well for my tastes, but I trusted them both. They were family. Swallowing, I made my way towards the nurses’ station, wanting to save the hard part for last. Eli, I knew, would want some kind of apology. Some kind of explanation for why he hadn’t been told as soon as Duo’d been hurt. As I headed back into the room, I hoped that the honest truth I had to offer would be enough. Eli was family now. I didn’t like to fight with family.

He stirred as soon as I touched his shoulder, pouting as he raised his head, squinting in the dimly lit room.

“Solo? That you?” It took him a couple of minutes to disengage from Duo, moving with careful tenderness, then blinking back up at me, his voice thick and slow with sleep. “You’re not gonna kick my ass now, are you?” It broke the tension. I laughed, dropping into a chair and running and exhausted hand through my hair.

“No, I’m not. Not after seeing this.” I gestured towards them. “Jake said he practically begged for you. I may be protective, but I’m not sadistic.” He rubbed his throat as I spoke, reaching for Duo’s cup and taking a sip of water without thought. I could see him gathering his thoughts.

“I heard you didn’t want me to see him,” he spoke quietly, both of us focused on not waking Duo up. “Until you knew more about what happened, and he had some time to...wake up and process. So I tried to respect that. But I’ve been worried sick. When Jake asked me come, I had to come. I hope you understand. I know he’s your family. I don’t want to disrespect your wishes. But I want to be here for him, too.”

“I do,” I said. “I do understand. And...I can’t do this alone. Jake and Trowa--they want to help. But Jake has classes, and Trowa can only stay so long.” I cleared my throat. “Dou’s gonna need more than that.”

“You won’t have to do it alone,” he started, then frowned, sitting up and raking his hands through his hair, eyes automatically going to Duo, checking him over. “Who’s Trowa?”

“You haven’t met yet, have you?” I laughed, grinning across at him. “He’s my ex. He co-owns the cafe, and he’s a longtime family friend. He and Duo are pretty close.”

“This is the first I’m even hearing of him, actually,” Eli admitted, shaking his head. “But if he’s here for Duo, I’m glad. He needs all the love he can get right now.” If I hadn’t trusted Eli before, I did now. It was a weight off my shoulders to realize it, watching as he smoothed back his hair, jaw clenching tightly for a moment. He was just as upset and angry about what happened as I was, and whatever resistance I had left crumbled. I practically sagged with relief to feel it.

“I have to get some sleep,” I started. “And he--he needs to shower. Wash his hair. I know my brother. Once he starts waking up again, he’s going to hate his hair.”

“I’ll be here,” he promised immediately. “I’ll help him.” Eli stretched his legs out, getting comfortable and shooting me a small smile. “It’s not like I had any other plans. You go on and get some rest. I can spend the night with him.” It was quiet for a few moments, stretching soft and comfortable between us. Nothing but the sweet sounds of Duo breathing. A sound we’d almost lost.

“The doctor said he may never remember what happened,” I started. “I hope he doesn’t. I don’t want him to ever have to remember it.”

“I want him to remember,” Eli cleared his throat, brow furrowing. He rubbed his forefinger against his mouth, dangerously calm, quiet and thoughtful. “If only so I can find out who did this and make sure they get what they deserve.” He sighed then, whatever darkness in him banished. “But then there’s part of me, like you, who hopes he never does. He’s been through enough already.”

There was nothing I could say to that. I stood. “Call me if anything happens. Otherwise, I’ll be back in the morning.”

“Absolutely.” He stood, clapping me on the shoulder as he walked me to the door.

“There are no leads. So, if you know anything--anyone who might have had a vendetta against Duo, or wanted to hurt him...the police are looking,” I paused at the door, turning to face him fully. “You know. I never thought I’d meet anyone who deserved my baby brother...but I think you do.” Whatever he’d been about to say was gone. He lit up, smile bright, eyes darting over to Duo for a barely there moment before flicking back to me.

“Thank you.” Eli shook his head. “It means a lot to hear you say that. Your brother is...I can’t say anything that will do him justice, but I love him. And I won’t let him go through his alone.”

“That’s all I want to hear,” I squeezed his arm with a smile, then slipped out, hands in my pockets. Eli shut the door behind me, and I paused to watch him make his way to a stirring Duo. He took his hand immediately, brushing his bangs back and pressing a kiss to his forehead. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I could see the way they were looking at each other. See the way Duo leaned into the touch on his cheek, lips curving in a smile I hadn’t seen in what felt like years. Confident that he was in good hands, I left the hospital, ready for a full night of sleep. 


	20. Jake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short Jake chapter today, the events of which might not be incredibly surprising to those who have been paying attention lately. ;) 
> 
> Thanks again for tuning in. 
> 
> -Zillah

As I left the hospital, with Duo in Eli’s capable hands and Solo finally off the warpath, I felt optimistic for the first time in days. Duo was going to be okay, eventually. It was going to take some time, but he would. He had a good, strong support system in place. Between Eli, myself, Solo, and Trowa, he had all the love and reassurance he needed, and would continue to have those things for as long as he needed them. 

As for me, I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, because there was something I needed to do, and I wasn’t looking forward to it. Unfortunately, I didn’t think I had a choice. As much as this whole ordeal had left me feeling confused and hurt, it had also made some things painfully clear. Agonizing as it was, what I’d realized over the past few days was that I wasn’t ready for a relationship, at least not with Luke.

It wasn’t about Luke, not at all. Luke was amazing. He was warm, sweet, and generous. He was also crazy intelligent, ridiculously sexy, and mind-blowingly good in bed. And it was because of those things and more that I hated myself for what I was about to do to him...but it would be worse to let this go on and pretend I didn’t have feelings for someone else. Honestly, Luke deserved better than someone who was only present with him half of the time we were together. Because the other half of the time? I was with Solo. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get him off my mind.

It was something I’d been keeping from myself for a long time, a harsh truth I'd been avoiding because I knew I didn’t have a chance with him. He was my best friend’s older brother and my boss at the cafe. There were all kinds of shady moral implications that could come out of that, and I didn’t want to make things weird between Duo and I, so I let it go. I forgot about it--for the most part, anyway. The problem was, being in the hospital with Solo had dredged up all those old feelings--old feelings and new ones, and I didn’t think it was fair to me or Luke to go on denying them any longer. 

The bottom line was that I’d had plenty of time to think, and now it was time to act. For as much as I dreaded it, I knew what I had to do. I was all about doing the right thing, and even if it hurt--even if Solo didn’t feel the same way and I ended up with no one for the next several months, years, whatever--this was it. 

My heart was in my throat as I slipped into Luke and Eli’s shared apartment. It was the best time for us to talk, with Eli occupied at the hospital. I didn’t know when I’d get the chance again in the chaos of everything. “Hey, Luke?” I let my bag slip to the floor and nudged off my shoes, listening for him as I curled up on the couch, my fist at my mouth and my heart in my throat.

He came out of the kitchen with a smile and a soft “hello, darling,” and my stomach twisted. I wanted to give him everything, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t be there for him the way he needed me to be, and it hurt, because he hadn’t done anything but be there for me. I wished it were enough.

“Can we talk?” I tried for a smile, but it felt false, the words scraping my throat like sandpaper.

“Of course we can.” He was frowning, concerned and caring as he joined me on the couch, reaching for my hands and squeezing them as he drew them into his lap. “What is it, darling? What’s the matter?”

I shook my head. I didn’t know what to say, where to start. Everything I considered sounded so hollow, so wrong, like nothing was going to be enough. I was going to hurt him either way, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to make this as easy and painless as possible.

“Luke, I’m not sure--” I wet my lips, hands limp in his. I returned the squeeze, finally, needing the contact to ground myself. “I don’t know if this is going to work. This thing with Duo--it’s hard, and it’s...complicated, and I don’t know if I can fully commit myself to this relationship right now. There’s so much going on…” Voice wavering, I bit my lip and shook my head, eyes filling as I looked away from him, then back. “I don’t know if I can be there for you, and you deserve--you deserve someone who can. I hate this. You’ve been so good to me...”

I didn’t know if I was making any sense, so I trailed off, heart pounding. I was terrified of hurting him, and I was terrified of him reacting badly, but even if he did? It was nothing less than what I deserved. I was the one who’d started this, who’d gotten his hopes up--and mine. We’d barely had a chance to begin and I was already ending it. He would be justified in hating me, I thought dismally. If he never wanted to see me or speak to me again, I had to be prepared for that.

Luke stared at me for a long time, rigidly holding my hands. There was a flicker of hurt in his eyes, and they shuttered as my words fully sank in. Just like that, I wasn’t his darling anymore. I felt a flicker of desperation, a moment in which I wanted to take it all back, tell him I didn’t know what I’d been thinking, that I was confused and exhausted and didn’t know what I was saying. He’d understand that, wouldn’t he? But I couldn’t. The damage was already done. Even if I did, it would be a lie. I didn't want him. Not the way I wanted Solo.

He squeezed my hands and nodded slowly. “Of course, darling. I understand.”

It was all he said as I stared at him, eyes wide and incredulous. That was it? There must be more he wanted to say! Why wasn’t he mad? It almost would’ve been better if he’d been mad. I was used to men’s anger and violence, my father’s in particular, so much so that I almost didn’t know what to do when someone was tender with me. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe I was broken. Maybe I couldn’t accept Luke’s tenderness because I didn’t really think I deserved it, in the end. Self-sabotage. I was pretty fucking good at it.

“I just,” I wet my lips and plunged on, needing to say something to fill the dreadful silence between us. “I don’t want you to think there’s anything wrong with you, because there’s not. I like you, Luke. I really do. And I wanted this, I did, but this thing with Duo needs my full attention right now. It’s all just...really bad timing.” I laughed bitterly, shaking my head and looking up at the ceiling, tears trembling on my lashes. The problem wasn’t with Luke, it was with me. I didn’t want it enough. Didn’t want him enough. If I had, I would have found a way to make it work in spite of everything.

Luke didn’t say anything. He looked down at our joined hands and swallowed, nodding mutely. I didn’t have words for how ashamed I was, how much I despised myself in those moments. It didn’t matter compared it what he must be feeling. God, it was so bad he couldn’t even talk to me.

“I hope we can still be friends. In time.” It was weak, pathetic. I hated having to use that line on him, even if I was being sincere. “I’m so sorry.”

Luke sat back and slowly pulled his hands out of mine, running them through his hair on a carefully controlled exhale. “I have...a lot of grading to do.” He cleared his throat and looked at me, expression blank. Any show of feeling would have hurt less than that one vacant look did, but I didn’t deserve it.

I stared at him for a moment, then jerked my head down, hands clasped together in my lap. “Oh. Okay. Yeah, I should...I should probably get going. I have a lot of homework to catch up on.”

He nodded. “If you need me, you can always call.” It was stiff, mechanical, devoid of emotion. 

“Right. Yeah. Okay.” I was breathless, starting to hyperventilate a little bit as I wondered if I’d made the right decision after all. Not that I could take it back. It was out there now. I had to go with my gut, my driving instinct that this was what I needed to do in order to move forward and help Duo and his family do the same. They were my top priority right now. I couldn’t lose sight of that. “I’ll go. I’ll just--” I stood and rushed to the door, slipping my shoes on and gathering my things.

“I’m sorry, Luke.” I paused by the door, my hand wrapped around the knob, white-knuckled. “I wish--I wish things were different.” I had wanted him, once. I'd wanted him so much, but I wasn’t the same person I’d been at the start of the semester, naive and hopeful and fixated on boys. I was irreparably changed in the aftermath of Duo’s attack. All of us were, I think, and there was nothing we could do to get our old selves back. 

As I made my way back to the dorm to spend the night alone, sobbing on the street without caring who saw me, my head began to clear. What it all came down to was that, no matter how bad I felt, there was a distance between Luke and I that nothing could fix. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. It just wasn’t right, and I had to let it go. It didn’t feel like it right now, but Luke would get over it...and so would I. Maybe we could even be friends in time, but for now? The Maxwells were my family, and they needed me more than I needed a love life.

I swore I’d keep that in mind when I went back to work at the cafe, but the universe had other plans for me. As it turned out, it wasn't quite done with my love life.


	21. Eli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday! I’ve had a three day weekend and it definitely threw off my internal clock! The update is here, though! We are moving right along to a mostly fluffy chapter. As fluffy as it can be given the circumstances. 
> 
> I do want to come clean about one thing. As a survivor myself, this fic (and especially this particular arc) is a large piece of—not quite wish fulfillment. Part of PTSD and trauma has to do with whether or not the victim receives love and support from those around them. This was something I didn’t recieve until years later. Writing an arc where Duo has bad things happen to him, and then having people around him who are ready and willing to smother him with love, affection, and touch has been incredibly cathartic, and I’m grateful to have had a writing partner who had the same characters goals as I did. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all of you reading and engaging with this fic. It means a lot to both of us to see people connecting with characters we’ve kept to ourselves for so long. All of your comments and kind words mean the world to us.
> 
> <3, Amberly

Solo was a good big brother. His suspicions of me were completely unfounded, but I couldn’t blame him for behaving the way that he did. At any rate, he knew better now, and that was all that mattered. Solo knew I’d never hurt Duo, and I finally felt like part of the family in a way I hadn’t up to this point. Sure, I acted cool enough, and I’d pursued Duo like I didn’t care what anyone else thought, but having Solo’s approval meant everything to me. It let me relax and focus fully on Duo as I heard him stir beside me, hissing in pain. “Eli?”

I couldn’t begin to unpack everything I felt seeing him lying in that hospital bed, but I was glad I hadn’t walked in blind, and I was more than grateful to Jake and Luke for helping me get there. They’d shown me a kind of loyalty I’d never forget. Duo needed me, and I needed him too. It was important to me to make sure he knew that in the days and weeks to come. What had happened to Duo wasn’t his fault, and it didn't change anything between us. I meant that with every breath in me.

When all of this was said and done, I was going to find out who had done this to him...and I was going to make them pay. I didn’t know how yet, but Duo deserved justice, and I wouldn’t rest until he had it.

“Hey, kitten.” I bent to kiss his forehead, then sat back, touching his bruised cheek with gentle fingertips. “That was just your brother leaving. We had a nice talk. I’m going to be spending the night with you, if you think you’re okay with that.”

I thought he was, but I wanted him to know the choice was completely up to him. That every choice was his from here on out, and that nothing would be done without his consent. He needed that. Needed to feel in control of something, no matter how small. To get some of his agency back after having it taken away by the monster who'd done this to him.

Duo leaned into my hand and returned my smile. It was a good start, that he was letting me touch him, letting me be there for him and shower him with tenderness. I didn’t know how to give him anything else. It wasn’t even a thought. “That sounds great.” He sat up and looked around, eyes lighting up as he noticed the plush cat by the bed. “Cat! He remembered. My phone should be here too. And my hoodie…”

His excitement over something so simple warmed me, made me hopeful for his recovery. Sometimes it was the little things that made the most difference, like a beloved stuffed animal from childhood. “I was wondering where the cat came from,” I laughed. “Is this yours from when you were a kid? Hold on. I’ll get them for you.”

I wasted no time in collecting his things and quickly returning to his bedside, handing over his cell phone and hoodie with a sheepish smile. “By the way, I apologize in advance for all the texts and voicemails.” They were increasingly frantic, and part of me thought it would be better if he outright deleted them. I didn't want him to feel guiltier than he already did.

Duo nodded, Cat in his arms. “Yeah. Mom bought it for me when I was really little. It used to be bigger than me.” He took his phone, grinning up at me, then bit his lip, face falling. “I am sorry. For worrying you.”

That he felt he needed to apologize broke my heart. There was nothing to apologize for. I was just glad he was alive. When I thought about how much worse it could have been, my chest got so tight I could barely breathe.

“Duo,” I shook my head and clucked my tongue in gentle admonishment. “I told you not to apologize. You don’t have to apologize to me, kitten. Not for this. Never for this.” I didn’t want to linger on it, focusing instead on making sure he had everything he needed as I rubbed my hands against my thighs and quickly scanned the room. “So, are you hungry? I can get you something to eat, or drink, whatever you have a taste for. Solo thought you might want to shower.”

I didn’t want to overwhelm him, but I figured letting him know his options couldn’t hurt. I didn’t want him to feel like he had to talk about what had happened. There would be plenty of time for that. In the meantime, there were other things we could do. Keeping him calm and making him feel comfortable and safe was my top priority.

“I am hungry. Sore, but hungry. And I do wanna shower.” He made a face, looking discouraged by all the tubes and wires sticking out of him. I had no idea if a shower was advisable or even possible at this point, but I had to try for him. “I wanna at least wash my hair. Maybe you can sponge bathe the rest?”

“Yeah, that’s the thing,” I murmured, worrying my lower lip as I followed his gaze. “I don’t know what you need in you and what you don’t right now. Let’s ask one of the nurses, okay? Do you have a call button? We can ask about getting some food for you too.”

It didn’t take long for the nurse to come. I breathed a little easier when she agreed to our requests. “You’ll have to make him sit,” she informed me, bustling around the bed and freeing Duo from the web of wires around him. “There’s a stool in there. You can wash his hair and then wipe the rest of him down. I’ll get some clean scrubs for him and make sure you have dinner.”

I thanked her as she left, patting Duo’s hand. “Did you hear that? You can shower and wash your hair. But you have to sit for me, alright?” I leaned in, eyes sparkling, my words soft and teasing. “Do you think you can do that without making too much of a fuss?”

I knew how stubborn Duo could be, how he always wanted to seem to test his limits and prove others wrong about what he could do. I admired that about him, to be sure, but right now it was important that he cooperate as much as possible. His well-being depended on it. I didn’t want him hurting himself, and I didn’t want to hurt him either, something I was worried about as he held his arms out to me. “Yeah. I can do that. Carry me?” The way he smiled at me made it impossible for me to deny him as he swung his legs out of bed, swallowing against the pain.

“Of course. Come here, sweet boy.” I slid an arm under his knees, the other around his lower back, lifting him gingerly. I didn’t think I’d held anything so carefully in all my life, not even my guitar. “I’m sorry if I’m hurting you. I promise I’m trying to be careful.” My nerves were starting to show, something I couldn’t help, because it wasn’t like I’d done this before. I could feel the lines around my eyes tighten, my lips press into a thin line. He didn’t seem to notice, his face against my neck, concentrating on managing the worst of the pain. It was unavoidable that Duo should hurt, but I wanted to minimize it as much as possible.

His voice was small, vibrating with pain even as he sought to reassure me, halting in between words. “It’s--okay. It’s just--me. I just hurt.” He whined then, and it sent a tremor through me, my lips against his hair, my breathing as even as I could make it. “Just...wanna be clean. I can do it. I can be good.” There was that stubborn Maxwell nature again, his jaw set as he looked up at me in fierce determination. I’d never loved anyone as much as I loved him in that moment.

“I know you can. You’re the best boy. The perfect boy.” The bathroom was blindingly white and smelled like lemons doused in bleach. I checked in with Duo every step of the way. “I’m gonna set you down on the shower stool now, and then we’ll get you out of those scrubs, okay? After that, we can start cleaning you up.”

“Okay.” Duo’s voice quavered, lower lip jutting out as I set him down on the stool. “I wanna be clean. It’s worth it.” As I crouched down in front of him, starting to assess his condition and how best to begin, he reached out, touching my cheek with trembling fingers. “Thank you. My Casanova.”

I returned his smile, wrapping my fingers around his and bringing them to my lips, then kissed his fingertips. “It’s my pleasure to do this for you. After all, I’m your Daddy, right? That means I take care of you, no matter what.” I closed my hand around his and brought it to rest against my chest, eyes meeting his as I swallowed, concerned. “I have to get in with you so I can help you. Are you okay with me being naked, or half-naked, in the shower with you? If not, it’s okay. I can keep my clothes on if you want me to.” Every choice with his. No exceptions. If he said no, I’d understand completely.

But he didn’t. He agreed. He trusted me. He knew I wouldn’t hurt him, and I took strength from that as I ever so gently, ever so slowly started to undress him. His body was a road map of cuts and bruises and road rash, his ribs tightly bound, the skin and damaged musculature beneath so dark they were almost black. I paused in untying his hospital gown to strip my shirt off and catch my breath, the mask of utter calm I wore slipping only for a moment while my face was hidden from him. I’d had some idea of what I might find once I got him naked, but imagining it was one thing. There was nothing like seeing it with my own two eyes. Shaken didn’t begin to cover how I felt.

“There you are. There’s my beautiful boy. Don’t get any ideas, by the way.” My lips quirked as I noticed him ogling my bare chest. “I see you looking. I’m supposed to be helping you get clean, nothing more.” I winked, hoping I could make him laugh, if nothing else. And he did, giggling as I ran my hands down his calves, stroking the skin with my thumbs and soothing him with sincerity. He was beautiful in spite of everything, every touch carefully thought out. I didn’t want to frighten him by moving too fast.

I kissed him gently on the mouth, then stood to finish stripping, joining him in the shower as hot water beat down on us. There was a mini bottle of shampoo in the corner of the stall. I poured it into my hands, lathering his hair, looking down at him as he looked up at me.

“I love you,” he said. “I couldn’t do this with anyone else. I couldn’t--trust anyone else. To take care of me.” I’d suspected as much, but it was still good to hear, and I told him so as I worked the shampoo through the incredible mass of his hair, bending to kiss the spot where his neck met his shoulder.

“It means a lot to hear you say that. Part of me was worried that...maybe you wouldn’t want to see me.” I exhaled heavily, some of the tension leaving my body. “I just...had no idea, honestly.” Admitting it out loud was a relief. I’d been keeping it to myself, not wanting to trouble him with it. My fears didn’t seem that important, but he must’ve realized I needed to unburden myself too, that I was going through this with him, suffering just as much as he was, in my own right.

As I rinsed his hair and started to wash the rest of his body, cautiously avoiding the worst of the bruising around his ribs and the raw road rash on his legs, we talked each other through it. I was finally able to admit to him how scared I’d been, how my first thought when I’d heard what had happened to him was that I couldn’t lose him. Every word, every breath, every look, and every touch brought us closer together. I could feel it in every part of me. There was grief and anger and confusion there, but there was also love, so much love I didn’t know how I kept it all in. I channeled it into my care of Duo, stopping when he said he was starting to hurt.

“I feel so much better now. Now that I’m clean,” he sighed, trembling with exhaustion and letting out a cracked laugh as I got out of the shower, drying and dressing us both. “I didn’t expect this would wear me out so much.”

I made a soft sound of sympathy in my throat, cradling him against my chest as I carried him back to bed. “I’m glad you feel better. You look better too. It’s understandable, though. You’ve been through a lot, and this is the most activity you’ve had in a few days. It only makes sense that it should take a lot out of you.”

“You’ve been so strong, and so brave,” I continued, gently laying him down and getting him into the clean gown waiting for him. “You’re doing so well. I’m proud of you.” His lower lip trembled at that, and he gave me a shaky smile, then frowned at the gown.

“Damn, I wanted pants.” He looked around, lighting up as he spotted the scrubs, thoughtfully laid out on the end of the bed. “Pants! Damn, what a good nurse.” I let him struggle into those himself, keeping a watchful eye on him as I rolled dinner over.

“It looks like she wanted you to have your pick of some very attractive scrubs,” I teased. “Excellent choice.”

Dinner was grilled cheese and tomato soup, not bad as far as hospital fare went. There was juice too, and crackers, and Jello for dessert. Duo ate ravenously, something I was happy to see. Our nurse came back in, hooking him back up to the monitors and giving him a dose of medication, slipping him a chocolate before she left the room. It wasn’t long before his eyes started to grow heavy. Mine were too as I sat beside him, watching him from under my lashes, head in my hand.

“Well, I think I’m almost ready for bed,” I yawned. “How about you?” It had been a long day, and a surprisingly productive one. Even if he protested, there was no doubt in my mind that he was feeling the effects of it, the same as I was. We both needed sleep.

“You’re not gonna leave?” Belly full, eyes hooding from the drugs in his system, he turned petulant. That was the Duo I knew and loved. “I want to go home. Soon. I hate hospitals.”

I indulged him with a soft smile and leaned forward, covering one of his hands with my own, the other stroking his cheek. “I know, kitten. I hate hospitals too. I don’t know when they’ll let you go home, but I’m sure it’ll be as soon as they can.” I shook my head. “But no. I’m not gonna leave. I’d get in that bed with you if he could.”

At that, Duo didn’t hesitate, wiggling to the far side of the bed and patting the space beside him. “Come on. There’s room. I’m tiny. You can fit.”

I was skeptical. It seemed too cramped for both of us, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me, not when Duo wanted me there and I wanted nothing more than to fall asleep with him in my arms. His expression was shy, eyes warm, cheeks flushed as he waited for me to obey his command.

Crawling in beside him, I stretched out on my side and cuddled close, careful of his ribs as I ran my hand down his side. “You’re so sweet. God, I love you.” My lips brushed his cheek, a sigh of fatigue fluttering out of me as I made myself as comfortable as I could, rubbing my cheek on his shoulder. “I missed you so much. Being without you was torture.”

He pressed against my chest, draping his arm over me with a heartfelt whine, our eyes closing at the same time. “Missed you. Hate sleeping without you.”

“Me too. Get some sleep, babe. I’ll be here when you wake up. Not gonna leave without saying goodbye.”

The words earned me a contented sigh as we drifted off in each other’s arms. “Love you. Night, Casanova.”

* * *

 

I woke the next morning feeling surprisingly well-rested. Duo’s nurse was in and out while he slept, administering medication and checking his vitals. In the meantime, I took it upon myself to get coffee and breakfast, then meandered around the gift shop until I found a book I hadn’t read and brought it back to Duo’s bedside. It was a quiet morning, my eyes wandering to his face now and again as I read.

Eventually, I’d have to go home and change. I wanted to check on Luke too. I’d texted him to see how he and Jake were doing, but I hadn’t heard anything back yet. When Jake called me a little while later to check on Duo, he told me he’d broken up with Luke. I didn’t know what to say, but he didn’t want to seem to elaborate anyway. As far as I could tell, they’d been doing well, so I couldn’t say I understood why or how it had happened, but with the flurry of activity happening in and around the hospital, there were obviously some things that I’d missed. It wasn’t my place to judge, but I still couldn’t help but be concerned for my friend. He’d need to talk sooner or later. I kept that in the back of my mind as I watched over Duo.

Sometime around noon, I heard someone shuffle into the room. I expected Duo’s nurse, but what I found instead was a tall, dark-haired man dressed in a brown sweater and dark jeans tucked into boots. I didn’t recognize him, which meant he had to be Trowa. He had a bag over his shoulder and a pizza in his hand, the smell making my mouth water even though I’d just eaten.

“Hello?” He smiled when he saw me. I liked him at once. He had the kind of face you could confide in, and had an air about him of someone who could be trusted. “Ah. You are Eli?”

I set my book aside and stood, stepping forward to offer my hand. “That’s me. And you must be Trowa.”

“Da. I am.” He shifted his pizza to one hand to take mine, shaking it firmly. I stepped back to give him some room, leaning against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest. “How is he doing?”

“He’s--” I sighed, not quite sure how to answer that. It was a loaded question. “He’s alright. He has a long road ahead of him, but he’s got plenty of love and support, which is more than some people have. I think he’s feeling better after his shower last night. I helped him wash his hair and get some food in his belly.” I paused, my expression warming as I looked at Duo. “His nurse has been great.”

“Good. He has always been fussy about his hair.” Trowa smiled as he sat, setting the pizza down. “Please. Help yourself. I am sure you are hungry.”

I appreciated the invitation, but waved it away as I returned my seat. “I just ate, but thank you. I’m sure Duo will be thrilled to see it, though, if the smell doesn’t wake him first.”

“Da. And it is extra cheese. His favorite.” He winked at me, both of us reaching for Duo, taking the hand closest to us at the same time.

I grinned, stretching my legs out and looking him over curiously. Trowa already felt familiar to me, like we’d known each other for years--or in some other life. Perhaps it was the romantic in me, always looking for a deeper connection. I couldn’t explain it in any logical sense. Maybe it was just instinct. Either way, there was the feeling of an instant bond there, and it made teasing him come easily. “So, I hear you and Solo have history.”

“We do. We were together for a while...the plan was always to get back together after Duo went to college, but six years is a long time.”

I nodded. I couldn’t see Trowa and Solo together, if I was honest. They seemed too alike from what I knew of Trowa so far--which wasn’t much, admittedly, but it was just the sense that I got. Solo was hard to read sometimes, but with that strong, stubborn Maxwell disposition, I saw him being a good match for someone a little less domineering. Someone who could balance him out and mellow him some. Someone like Jake. It felt a little strange to admit to myself knowing my best friend was sitting at home heartbroken over him, but I never saw Solo as at ease as he was when Jake was around. They were nothing but smiles when they worked together. Enough time spent at the cafe had led to that observation. I hadn’t thought much of it up until then, but with the information of Jake and Luke’s breakup fresh in my mind, I couldn’t help but wonder...

Now wasn’t really the time, so I shifted my attention back to the conversation at hand. “A lot can change in six years,” I agreed. “Either way, I’m glad you’re here. I appreciate you being here for Duo, and I’m sure he does too.” I smiled, setting my chin in my hand. “How long do you plan on sticking around? We should probably exchange numbers so we can all coordinate when to be here. I know everyone’s busy with other things too.”

Trowa agreed, and we promptly exchanged numbers, then continued to chat for a little while, Duo none the wiser as he slept on. We talked about our affectionate nicknames for him. Trowa also called Duo “kitten,” I learned, only in Russian. Kotyonok. It led to a discussion of how Duo and I had met and how I’d ended up calling him the same, pilfering the nickname from Solo.

For as much as I was enjoying Trowa’s company, I had to give in and go for coffee eventually. I wanted to go home too, get a proper shower and a change of clothes. I was feeling pretty grimy, and there was Luke to think of also. I had more questions than I knew what to do with. Everything around me seemed to be getting more complicated by the hour, an intricate web of violence and drama I’d never, even in my wildest dreams, imagined being part of.

Answers might not come right away, but I was hoping for them soon, desperate to make some sense out of it all. Maybe solitude would help, time to clear my head and organize my thoughts. I had to take care of myself before I could continue to do the same for Duo. Fortunately, Trowa agreed to watch over him, and it eased my mind knowing he was in good hands as I left.


	22. Solo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After several heavy, emotional chapters, we wanted to give you guys a break with something light-hearted and happy. Oh, and NSFW, which is the only warning that really needs to be given here. This chapter sees the start of something new and serves as a little bright spot in all the darkness surrounding Duo and his friends and family. It's a sign of things to come and an optimistic look forward to the better future that awaits them. As such, it's one of my favorite chapters. As always, thanks for reading. <3 And do let us know what you think of the new development in today's update, unexpected or otherwise! Hopefully, you'll enjoy it as much as we do. -Zillah

“And that’s that!” I locked the front door with a grin, tugging off my apron. “Let’s get this place closed down, mouse.” After the craziness of the last couple of days, it felt good to be back in the cafe. I was still worried about my baby brother, but he had more than enough people to keep an eye on him. Especially now that Eli was there. It meant everyone else could go back to work (or school, in Jake’s case). With Trowa taking a night to rest and recharge, the cafe fell solely on us, and I couldn’t say I complained, watching as Jake cheered, fists pumping in the air. Tossing my hat on the counter, I let my hair out of its ponytail, whistling to myself as I made way back behind the counter to flip on the radio. 

“We did it! God, there were times when I thought the night would never end.” He rolled his eyes, exaggerating. “It was soooooo slow. But we did it. You want me to count, or just start cleaning?” He was already fanning through the cash, grinning up at me. 

“Go ahead and count, mouse. I’m gonna mop.” Whistling along to the radio, I filled the bucket. “God. I’m glad for the business, but I don’t think either of us were ready for that.” 

“That last minute rush?” Jake raised his eyebrows at me, then shook his head, blowing out a harsh breath, eyes wide. “Yeah, seriously? Why do they have to come in all at once like that? It’s like they know we were trying to get out of here.” Heaving a resigned sigh, he went quiet, counting the cash. I expected that to last a whole five minutes. Jake was just as chatty as Duo. And sure enough, a couple of minutes later, he was shooting me a look. “So...Eli. Tell me honestly. What do you think of him? Don’t worry, I won’t tell Duo.”

“I like him. Duo’s ridiculously in love, and I think Eli feels the same way. They’re a good match.” 

“Really?” My answer’d made him pause, doing a double take at me. He nodded, lips curving in a gorgeous, impish smirk. “Very sensible standpoint for a big brother. I’m impressed. But you’re not wrong. They’re great together.” 

“They are.” I paused, smiling at him. “When I saw them together the other night...I knew. They’re perfect. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.” Making my way to the front of the store, I started to mop, glancing out at him from the corner of my eye, keeping my expression neutral. “You still seeing that guy from your class? Luke?” 

“He’s actually a TA for one of my classes,” Jake started, before shaking his head, taking his apron off. He’d dressed cute for work, wearing black leggings and a hot pink t-shirt. It was a familiar sight, one that warmed me, even as I noticed the slump to his shoulders. “We broke up.” 

“Oh…” I didn’t quite know what to say to that, pausing in my mopping to look up at him, offering a small, comforting smile. “Well, that’s probably for the best. Young guy like you? You don’t wanna be dating an older guy like that.”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, starting to wipe down the pastry cases. “I’ve always had a thing for older guys.” 

“Oh yeah?” I watched him out of the corner of my eye as I finished mopping. “Older men, huh?”

“Mm-hm.” Jake nodded, moving around to the front of the case and sinking to a crouch. I wasn’t even sure he’d heard me until he shot me a wicked grin over his shoulder. “I like guys with a little maturity and worldliness. Someone who can fuck me right and not do it all half-assed. Ugh. College boys.” He paused, wrinkling his nose. And then he slumped again. “Not that Luke had any problems with that. It just wasn’t working.” 

Well. If he didn’t want to elaborate, I wasn’t going to make him. I knew Jake well enough to know that if he wanted to share what was going on, he’d already have told me. Since he was keeping quiet, I assumed he didn’t want to talk about it. But I hated to see him moping. There’d been way too much sadness in our lives lately. That’s how I was justifying myself, anyway, heading to the back to dump the water, then coming to stand at the doorway. I watched him clean the case. I don’t mind admitting it. I’d been watching Jake since he’d been assigned as Duo’s roommate, and for a long time I’d thought he was off limits--and then out of reach. But maybe he wasn’t--and maybe he needed a little rebound. A little no-strings attached action to relieve the stress. I could do that. 

Sure I could. 

“That is one good thing. Us older men know how to treat a sweet young thing like you.” 

“Yeah? You into younger guys?” He turned to look at me, raising his eyebrows, lips quirked with amusement. I almost thought he laughing at me--until I caught him eying me, expression turning to one of subtle approval. “I’m sure you’ve got one on the hook right now, right? I mean, it can’t be hard for you to find someone willing to jump into bed with you. You’re a Maxwell. Maxwells are hot commodities.” Winking, he moved on to the next case.

“I don’t, as a matter of fact,” I winked back, pushing away from the wall with exaggerated casualness. “Maybe now that Duo’s dating Eli, I can pursue some options.” 

“Surprising.” His eyes narrowed, watching me with a bemused smile. Licking his lips, he turned, leaning his lower back against the counter in front of the register, arms crossed over his chest. “Oh? And you couldn’t before because...why exactly?” 

“Let’s just say...Duo has a way of interfering.” Crossing the room, I leaned across from him, hands on the counter, watching him with a smirk from opposite the register. “And he tends to want what his big brother wants.” Watching Jake fascinated me. The way he pressed his lips together, eyes hooding. He gripped the edge of the counter, hands next to his hips, rolling his eyes and shooting me a teasing look.

“Oh god, don’t tell me...you have a thing for Eli?” Eyes sparkling, he giggled. “I didn’t think he was your type, but maybe I was wrong.“ Snorting, I took a step forward, resting my hands on the counter just outside of Jake’s, bracketing them as I pinned him to the counter. This was it. I hoped I wasn’t reading him wrong--that I hadn’t been imagining the little looks he’d been shooting me all morning. 

“No...not Eli.” I deliberately dropped my gaze to his mouth, then flicked it back up to his eyes. “I like my boys younger...and a little more blond…”

“Oh--Solo,” he was breathless, laughing nervously as he looked towards the doors and windows. “Are you sure about that? What would Duo think, for starters? I mean, I’m pretty sure he’s going to have a strong opinion either way, but…” Trailing off, he looked back at me, gaze fixing on my mouth. I relaxed when I saw it, any uncertainty about trapping him or making him uncomfortable gone. So, like a typical Maxwell, I went for broke. 

“I’ve been sure since the day I moved Duo into that dorm,” I admitted, pressing tight against him and rolling my hips forward. He went ramrod straight at the friction, nostrils flaring, running his hands over my chest with wide, wandering eyes. “Didn’t think you liked older men.” 

“Oh, fuck.” He shuddered, then shot me a crooked grin. “You know...I never let myself think about it. My best friend’s older brother and all, but...now that I am thinking about it….fuck.” He laughed shakily, making me wonder if what he was saying was accurate. If maybe he’d been harbouring the same kind of secret crush I had. Maybe this didn’t have to be a one time thing. Pulling away with a smirk, I made my way towards the back of the cafe, secretly glad at the way he sagged against the counter. 

“Come on, mouse. Time to put the cash away. Then we can get out of here.” 

“Where are we going?” 

“Upstairs.” I shot him a smoldering look over my shoulder. “We can have a drink...maybe talk about what you’re thinking...or what I think every time I see your perfect ass.” I could hear his deep breath as he considered it. I couldn’t blame him. This was going to change things between us, and I’d hardly picked the best time to throw down my hat. I held my breath as I watched him, hoping. Then he turned around, tossing his hair and flashing me a grin as he sauntered over, handing me the cash bag. 

“A drink sounds nice,” he agreed. “And I’d be very interested in hearing all about what you think of my ass. Maybe putting some of it into practice, if you’re really lucky.” Running a hand over my chest as he headed past me, he started towards the door. I caught his hand, pressing a gentle bite to the inside of his wrist, delighting at the way he went weak at the knees. 

“Well, then. I’ll hope for luck.” Beating him to the door, I opened it, gesturing to him. “Beauty before age.” 

“You’re off to a damn good start already, I’ll tell you that.” He shook his head, making his way through the door and up the stairs. It went straight to my little apartment, something I knew I’d been lucky to find. There was a separate entrance from my apartment that I locked, and I always locked the downstairs when I closed, but I usually left the door between my home and the cafe open. Something we joked about as we headed into my living room. 

“What can I get you to drink, mouse?” I made my way into the kitchen, pouring my own scotch. He’d settled on the arm of the couch, perched there and swinging one leg as he looked around. 

“Oh...I don’t know. What’ve you got? I’ll take anything, but the sweeter the better.” I wasn’t surprised to hear that. Jake had quite the sweet tooth—which was probably how he stayed so sweet. Taking several bottles out of the fridge and freezer, I measured and poured them into a shaker, filling it with ice and shaking it, then pouring it all into a martini glass. Jake watched me the whole time, eyes glued to my arms and hands. The drink was pink—Jake’s favorite color. Heading to the couch, I handed it over with a wink. 

“Try this. Vodka, peach schnapps, and cranberry juice. With a cherry. It’s called Pink Silk Panties.”

“You’re pretty handy with that shaker. Maybe you should’ve opened a bar.” He grinned, taking a sip of the drinks, those gorgeous baby blues widening with approval. “Ohhhhhh, this is delicious. You know, if I’d known this was what you were going to serve me, I would’ve worn them for you.” Settling on the couch next to him, I put the shaker on a coaster, holding my scotch. 

“Next time, then,” I purred, tugging him down into the couch, then draping my arm over the back of it. He laughed the whole way, pressing against my side and holding his drink out. 

“Careful! You could’ve spilled my drink!” He tutted teasingly at me, taking another sip. Leaning forward to set it on the table, he rested his hand on my thigh, turning towards me. “So...thoughts.” 

“Thoughts.” I echoed, setting down my scotch. Cupping his cheek, I leaned in, brushing our lips together and shifting closer to him. I brushed my tongue out at his mouth, fingers sliding into his hair. “Maybe I should just show you.” It was murmured against his mouth, my teeth grazing the full swell of his lower lip. 

“Yeah? I’m a pretty big fan of that tactic myself. Actions speak louder than words, so they say...” His hand tightened on my thigh, tongue brushing out at mine. Sliding my hand into his hair, I tugged him closer, deepening the kiss and sweeping my tongue through his mouth. My other hand rested on his hip, using it to tug him closer. 

“Jake,” I panted teeth grazing his lower lip. “God--you gorgeous boy.” He turned himself towards me, one leg up on the couch, knee against the back of it as we kissed. His hands went from my shirt to around my neck, fingers disappearing into my hair as he breathed my name. It was the last straw. There was nothing holding me back anymore. I was drunk on him, the taste of him, sweet on my tongue. Pressing him back against the couch, I braced one hand on the back of it, slipping my thigh between his legs as I ran my mouth over his neck, grazing it with my teeth. I ground into him, panting. “Beautiful mouse. Can you feel how much I want you?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I can, ” he moaned, bucking up against my thigh and running his fingers through my hair. Our hands were all over each other, mine sliding up his shirt, his over my hips. I felt like a teenager, eager to devour him. 

“Tell me, mouse. Tell me what you want.”

“I want you to bend me over and drill me so hard I forget my own name.” 

“I think I can get behind firmly behind that.” It was exactly what I wanted, and hearing him say it sent a whip of fire through me. That and the way his hips moved against me, almost frantic. I pulled back, guiding him onto his stomach and tugging at his leggings, mouth moving along the ridge of his spine. There was no complaint. Jake settled himself over the arm of the couch, knees planting on the couch as he tugged off his own shirt. He was perfect. All lithe muscle and soft looking skin. I wanted to touch every piece of him with my mouth, my hands running down his thighs. Neither of us wanted to wait, or go slow, and so I devoured him, just like I’d promised. I cupped both globes of his ass and spread him wide, burying my face between them. 

“Yeah--fuck.” The moan was hungry, Jake’s thighs tensing as he arched back against my mouth. I worked him open with my tongue as best I could, licking and sucking at him, thumb rubbing firmly against his entrance. He was more responsive than I could ever have dreamed, moaning and rolling back against my mouth, one hand sliding back into my hair, tugging lightly. “God...Solo...god, that’s good.” Huffing a laugh, I pulled away from him, pressing my chest to his back as I leaned over him, reaching for the side table. I kept my thumb against him, lips and teeth grazing the side of his neck as I pulled out the lube I stashed there. 

“Needy boy,” I murmured against his ear as he tried to rub back against me, his cheeks dark. My fingers were slicked in a heartbeat, sliding into him slow and teasing. “You’ve been unfucked for too long.” 

“Oh--” It was a long, drawn out, breathy moan, Jake’s body going loose as he slowly rolled back against my fingers. Tipping his head back against my shoulder, he mouthed messily at my jaw. “Haven’t been fucked good. That’s the problem.” 

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll take care of you,” I promised, sucking the crook of his neck. I bit down as I added a second finger, twisting them, then spreading them wide, scissoring them open. He moaned and keened and rode back against my fingers eagerly, knees spread wide on the couch cushions. I couldn’t wait to be in him, adding a third and final finger, twisting my wrist as I left livid marks on his skin. It wasn’t too long before he was writhing under me, looking back at me with glazed eyes, pleading for me to fuck him.

“Please. Please, Solo. Need to feel you. Need--” 

“Shh,” I soothed him, pulling out my fingers and hurriedly undoing my jeans. “I’ll fuck you, baby. Don’t worry.” Getting my pants down just enough to take my cock out, I slicked it with the lube still clinging to my fingers. Holding his hip tight, I grazed his lower lip with my teeth, rolling my hips lazily against him, cock teasing between his cheeks. And then I was thrusting into him, groaning, eyes shutting as I surrendered to it. He was hot, so hot around me, moaning in my ear as I held tight to him and moved, twisting my hips as they snapped forward. I had him by the thigh, by the shoulder, catching his mouth in a fierce kiss and swallowing his moans. There was nothing slow about it. Nothing soft. And he met every thrust, his hips arched as he worked himself back against my cock, mouth thrown open in bliss. 

“Yes! Solo--god, that’s just what I need.” That was what I wanted to hear. I sped up, groaning as I slid my hand over his hip, wrapping it around his cock and stroking it just as hard and fast as I fucked him, teeth grazing his shoulder. His nails were in my arm, his head thrown back against my shoulder, lips finding my jaw. I hadn’t expected this--hadn’t thought it would be this good, and I was lost in it, muffling a shout against his shoulder. I could feel him under me, growing more and more unhinged as he writhed. “Don’t stop--fuck, Daddy, please--please tell me I can come--tell me when to come for you--”

“Fuck--fuck.” That was it for me. I was done for, the snap of my hips frenzied, roughly fucking into him as I stroked him. “Come for me, baby boy. Let me feel you fall apart on my cock.” He did. As soon as I said it I could feel him spilling, still trying to ride back against me, his whole body trembling violently as he pressed his face against the arm of the couch, muffling his cries as he thrust mindlessly into my hand. I fucked him through it, my own thighs trembling. Tossing my head back, I came with a cry, frantically twisting my hips against him as I filled him. He encouraged me with weak bucks of his hips, urging me on and then shuddering, going limp against the cushions, spent and sated. I had just enough strength to settle back against the couch, drawing him onto my lap and cuddling him close, enchanted by the dazed little smile curling over his lips.

“Good boy. My good boy. Fuck--Jake,” I panted, chest heaving, still slick with sweat as I brushed my lips against his hair. He rubbed his cheek against my chest, looking up at me, flushed and still panting as well, eyes hooded. 

“Is that my name? I can’t remember…” he laughed, weak and husky, smiling up at me. I was helpless against that smile, leaning in to kiss him soft and slow on the mouth, hand running lazily up and down his side as he returned my kiss ardently, his tiny fingers stroking through my hair. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for Jake. Nothing. I’d always known it, and now that I had him here, in my arms, I wasn't going to let anything take him away. 

“Sweet thing,” I nuzzled his cheek, pulling away only long enough to draw off my own shirt, aware of how unfair it was that I was still almost fully dressed. “I take it you’re okay?”

“Yeah. I’m perfect. That was perfect.” He sighed dreamily, eyes flaring with heat and approval, fingers running over my bare chest, gaze fixed to it. “I like a guy who isn’t afraid to get rough with me. I’m not that fragile, you know? I don’t break that easily. I like that you don’t treat me like I am.”

“I know you won’t break.” I stood, holding him against my chest as I made my way towards the bedroom. “But trying to break you is part of the fun.” It drew a loud, affectionate laugh from him, his smirk wicked as I settled him in bed. Raising an eyebrow at him, I ran my hand along his side. “Daddy, huh? You surprise me.” 

“Yeah. It just...kind of...slipped out.” The smile he shot me was shy.

“I don’t mind,” I was quick to reassure him. “I’m just surprised.” It was clear to me that he expected some kind of backlash over it. Stripping all the way down, I wrapped my arms around him, tugging him to me and catching his lips in a kiss. I had him in bed with me now, and I wasn’t going to let him go. I wanted him again and again, and he was more than willing to give in. Our night was a riot of pleasure, of slick mouths and hungry hands, my bedroom full of his moans, the sweet sounds of him coming undone over and over on my cock, until finally we were both sprawled out, panting and sweat slick. 

“That was better than I could ever have imagined,” I laughed, breathless, arms tight around his waist. He laughed in reply, boneless as he melted against me. 

“No kidding. To think of what I’ve been missing out on all this time.” There was something soft and wondering in his voice, his eyes heavy-lidded. “God, if you hadn’t come on to me down there, it probably wouldn’t have crossed my mind...I guess I always just thought of you as strictly off-limits.” 

“I didn’t think I had a chance until you started seeing Luke. I thought I was too old.” 

“You’re serious? About wanting to do this again?” Jake looked at me worriedly, biting his lower lip. He was young, so young, painfully vulnerable, even as he sprawled naked in my bed, questioning something I’d let slip in the heat of passion. “I kind of really wanna give this a chance. I just kind of thought you only wanted to fuck me.” 

“Oh, I am. I meant what I said about you not getting what you need from anyone else. You’re all mine now, baby boy.” I reached out to stroke his cheek, gaze soft. “If you wanna be, that is.” 

“Well. Alright, then.” Turning his head, he pressed a kiss to the center of my palm. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I do.” It was the sweetest thing I’d ever seen, the way he watched me through his lashes, cheeks still flushed, all loose-limbed and sated. I ran my hand down his back, leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead. 

“Okay, honey? You need water or anything?” 

“I think--maybe some water.” 

It was easy to take care of him. I hated to leave him alone in bed, but I knew he was thirsty. Hell, I was thirsty, and I loved the way he blew me a kiss as I left the room. When I came back, he was flopped on his back, taking up as much space as he could, smiling dazedly at the ceiling. If I had my way, I’d be seeing him like that a lot more often. I never wanted to let him out of my bed. He drained half the contents of his bottle in one pull, then stretched onto his side, head on the pillow next to mine. I was ready for him, draping my arm around his waist and tugging him close. 

“I think you wore me out.” Jake let out a blissful sigh. “Ah, older men. Great stamina.” 

“And skill. Don’t forget our skill,” I teased. “You stay here tonight, honey. I’ll take you to class in the morning.” He murmured something in response, some hum of agreement, eyes already shut. We were both going to be sore tomorrow. No matter what jokes about skill and stamina I made, it had still been a while for me. I wasn’t used to bedroom acrobatics. Still, I was blissfully happy. I’d had eyes for Jake for so long I could hardly remember what it was like to not have them. And now here he was, tucked under my chin, sleeping peacefully in a post-orgasmic haze of bliss, his fingers curled against my chest. It was perfect, and I was going to do anything I had to in order to keep him there. Forever.


	23. Duo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday all! Here is our update for the week. Duo gets some time to reflect on what’s going on, as well as his own reactions. He also gets to tease Jake about last chapter—something he loves to do. This particular arc is stating to wind down, and then it’ll be back to fluff and cuteness. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading <333

_i_ Waking up in the hospital was something I wasn’t quite used to yet. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be used to it, if I was honest. I didn’t like it. It didn't’ smell like home, didn’t feel like home, and somehow my feet were always cold. The only good thing was my friends were there. I could hear Jake and Trowa chatting around me, carrying on their conversation with no thought to me sleeping. Okay, I was grumpy, pouting as I struggled to sit up.

“If you guys are finished yelling in my hospital room.” I said, snippily. Jake jumped as I spoke, turning a guilt face to me.

“Oh. You’re awake.” He had the audacity to beam at me. “Morning, sleeping beauty. Your boy is somewhere around here. He stepped out to stretch his legs and get some coffee.” And there he was, coming into the room with a coffee, walking his way right to me and taking my hand, leaning in to kiss my forehead. I knew I perked up as soon as he entered the room, Jake’s expression knowing.

“Did you get enough sleep?”

“I did sleep well. Until these guys decided to have the loudest conversation ever.” I shot Trowa a teasing look, eyes sparkling. Chuckling, he said nothing. Just took a sip of his soda, the three of us sitting in comfortable silence. It was nice, to be with them all. Here, in one room, were three out of the five people I cared about most in the world. Solo, I knew, would be by soon. And Naida--Nadia was in England, and didn’t know what had happened--wouldn’t know until I was out of the hospital, by Solo’s decree. There was no reason to get her all riled up when she couldn’t come back to the states. Eli’s hand was in my hair, stroking it back as he looked me over, assessing me with keen eyes.

“You’re looking better...can I get you anything? I was thinking about going home for a little while, if that would be okay. I need a change of clothes and could do with a nap in my own bed.” Of course he wanted to go. Even knowing it was normal--that it wasn’t anything to do with me, I felt dread fill my stomach. Eli was my rock. He was keeping me sane, holding my hand through every step of this nightmare journey. But he deserved some good sleep, and a shower. Some time out of the hospital.

“No, I don’t mind. You should get some rest while you can.” I looked down, picking at the blanket. “I just wish I could go, too.” My eyes smarted, lower lip trembling even as I took a deep breath to steady myself. I didn’t want to cry again. Not there, with Trowa and Jake watching.

“I wish you could go too, babe.” He leaned in, framing my face with his hands and pressing tender kisses to each of my eyelids, then my cheeks, and finally my mouth. “I wish I could bundle you up and take you off in the van right now. We could disappear for a little while. Doesn’t that sound nice?” He took a deep breath, voice low. I held his wrist with trembling fingers, looking up at him in mute sadness. “Soon. Soon we can do whatever you want. And in the meantime, Trowa and Jake will be here. So you don’t have to be alone.”

“Oh--oh, honey,” Jake soothed. “Of course I’ll stay here with you, if you want. And Trowa’ll be here too.” There was a soft, Russian affirmative from my tall friend, Eli’s hand tightening on mine.

“Solnyshko and I will keep you company. I brought your sketchbook, and your brush. It will be fun. We can catch up.” I didn’t miss the grateful looks Eli sent everyone else, or the way they nodded at him. I knew I was a handful, and I knew just as much that if I asked, really asked, Eli would stay at the hospital with me. He’d be right by my side, no matter how tired he was, or how worn out. I didn’t want that for him. I wanted Eli healthy, and whole, and that meant letting him go home so he could come back to me later.

“I’ll be okay,” I assured him, pulling away and swallowing down the emotion settled in my throat. “You need rest. It’s--it’s not good for you to just be awake.” Gently gathering me into his arms, he pressed his nose against my hair, inhaling my scent.

“Wow,” he teased. “You smell so much better than you did yesterday around this time.” Brushing his lips against my ear, he ran his hands over my back, keeping his voice low. For us only, even though I was sure the others could hear every word. “I love you. I’ll be back later tonight. We can find some crappy TV to watch, and I’ll brush your hair.”

“Okay,” I giggled, the sound wetter than I wanted to admit. “Maybe I’ll see if Jake can help me get pretty for you.” I bit my lip, expression wavering, eyes filling rapidly. “I love you too. Sleep well and hurry back, Casanova.”

“Of course I can, sweetheart.” Jake looked as emotional as I felt, his own eyes covered with a sheen of tears at the exchange, hands clasped in his lap. “Call it a date. It’ll be fun.”

“That sounds like a plan. It’s a date, kitten. Wear those scrubs I like. You know the ones I’m talking about.” Eli grinned at me, pulling back and tucking a loose lock of hair behind my ear. “You’re always pretty. But I’m looking forward to seeing you even more. I’ll see you later, love.” He stood, nodding his thanks to the others, then made his way towards the door, turning to blow me a kiss as he left. I watched him with sad eyes, forcing a smile. As soon as he was out of sight I slumped back against the bed, sighing heavily. Turning hopeful eyes on Jake, I sniffed the air.

“Is that pizza I smell?”

“Da,” Trowa laughed. “It is pizza. I bought it for you. Extra cheese, like you like.”

“It’s delicious. I tried it just to make sure.” Jake shot me a wink, already busy grabbing the pizza and sliding it onto my lap. “But I only had one piece I thought you might be hungry when you work up. All yours now, honey.” I took my slice with a grin, biting into it with obvious pleasure and thanking Trowa with a mouth full of pizza, already feeling better. Sure, Eli was gone, but he was coming back. And in the meantime, I had Trowa with me--Trowa, someone I hadn’t seen since my High School graduation almost a year ago.

“Of course, kotyonok,” he grinned. “If I can spoil you at all while I’m here, I will do so.” The look he shot Jake had me on edge, his green eyes sparkling as he leaned forward. “Eli certainly is handsome. I can see why you like him so much.” Jake was gushing almost immediately, giggling to himself as he shifted closer to Trowa, teasing me just like always. It was a relief. Nothing had changed between us, either. We were all still family, and I buckled in for some serious teasing, even as I hissed at Jake to be quiet. Trowa was on the verge of demanding details when his phone rang. My big dumb brother, right on time. As he went out to answer the phone I was left alone with Jake, shooting him a meaningful look.

“Maybe what we should be talking about is that hickey on your neck!”

“What?” he practically screeched, clapping his hand over the spot. “I don’t have a hickey!” It felt so good to tease him. A little slice of normal that I’d been missing for I didn’t know how long. Raising my eyebrows, I gave him a suspicious look, then slowly turned my gaze to Trowa, standing outside the room on the phone with Solo. Jake wasn’t looking at me. He wasn’t looking at Trowa either, causing my eyebrows to raise higher.

“No. Oh my god. Jake--Jake did--” I couldn’t even ask him, voice strangled. Groaning, he covered his face in his hands, shaking his head. Taking the pizza box in hand, I moved it out of the way. Whatever was going on was big. Very big. And I wanted to know. Leaning towards him, I waited. Sooner or later, I knew, Jake would tell me. Neither of us was any good at keeping secrets from each other, and that was especially true when it came to sex. Jake peaked at me though his fingers, then took a deep breath, straightening his shoulders.

“Okay...here’s the thing,” he held up his hands in supplication. “Solo and I were at the cafe closing last night, and we were talking about you and Eli, and then I mentioned that Luke and I had broken up--”  
  
“Wait, you and Luke broke up?!”

“Yeah, but only recently! I’ve just been waiting for us to be alone to tell you,” Reaching out, he took my hand, squeezing lightly. “I promise I wasn’t keeping it from you. Anyway. I mentioned the breakup and something about liking older guys and.” Exhaling, he took another deep breath, worrying his lower lip and shooting me a concerned look, shoulders curling forward. “And then your brother came on to me. Hard. Like, um...really hard, if you catch my drift.” Eyes widening as I listened, I drew myself up, nostrils flaring with anger. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! That Solo would even try and force anything with Jake, after everything that had happened.

“He--that asshole! I can’t believe he did that!” I crossed my arms over my chest, glancing towards Trowa with a glare, directing it to Solo via the phone. “What a jerk. You know.” I paused, then continued more softly, reaching out for Jake’s hand. “You know you don’t have to. It’s okay to tell him no, I won’t be mad.”

“Well,” he laughed, a strangled sound, running his free hand through his hair as he clutched my hand. Giving me a beseeching smile, he continued. “Don’t be mad, but--I mean, I guess you can’t help it you’re mad, but I hope you aren’t--I, um...I didn’t say no. I didn’t want to say no.”

“You--oh.” I didn’t expect to hear that, and my expression showed it. “You. Oh--so. He didn’t...force you? Or anything?” Jake was quick to shake his head, offering me a small smile.

“No, he didn’t force me. I have to admit...I never thought about him that way before because, well,” he huffed a soft laugh. “He’s your older brother. I thought he was pretty much off-limits, so I just didn’t go there. But...yeah. That happened.” He paused again, cheeks flushing dark. “And I think it’s going to keep happening. He seems to want it to. I want it to, so…” Jake scuffed his foot against the floor, looking down at it, then back up at me. He was nervous. But he was nervous because he thought I was going to be mad--that I didn’t want him to date Solo. And the idea was kind of weird. I mean, Jake was my best friend, and I loved him more than anything. Him being with my brother wouldn’t change that, except that it would somehow. Jake wet his lips. “What do you--what are you thinking? I know it’s probably really weird. I feel kinda weird about it, too.”

“Well,” I started slowly, looking seriously at him and choosing my words carefully. “As long...as long as you want it, I think it’s okay. It is weird.” I grinned, sitting up straighter as I thought about something else. “But this way you’re family. Really family, I mean. Just...make sure he doesn’t--take advantage. Actually.” My eyes narrowed. “As soon as he shows up here, we’re going to talk about just that. But for now--way to go mouse!” I laughed, leaning over to kiss his cheek awkwardly from my bed. He looked ecstatic, laughing and throwing his arms around my shoulders.

“Oh my god!” he squealed. “Oh my god, you’re really okay with it? Thank you. I just--really want to see where this goes. If it goes anywhere. You know?” Grinning, he rubbed our noses together. “And if i goes really well, yeah...I might really be family some day. That was kind of why I broke up with Luke. I think I just realized you Maxwells are more important.” I had a feeling there was a whole lot more going on that Jake was telling me, but we didn’t have time to talk. Trowa came in at that moment, looking grim as he made his way to my bedside, reaching out to stroke a hand through my hair.

“Kotyonok...Solo is coming. And the Police. They want to talk to you, now that you are awake.” It was a simply statement, said plainly, and it sent fear through me. The police were coming, and they wanted to ask me questions. I didn’t remember anything. How could they ask me questions when I couldn’t remember anything? Already my anxiety was spiking, my hand clutching to Jake’s tightly as he sat up straight, blood draining from him face.

“But I--I don’t remember. I don’t remember anything. Why--why do they need to talk to me?”

“Do you think you’re up for it? We won’t leave you. We’ll be right here,” he paused, then continued on worriedly. “Unless they make us leave. They won’t make us leave the room, will they?”

“I do not know, solnyshko,” Trowa sighed. “I suppose we will have to wait and find out.” He stroked my hair, avoiding my question in favor of trying to soothe me. Jake held my hand between both of his, sighing as he looked at me.

“I’m sure it’s just standard procedure. You can’t help it if you can’t remember anything. It’s okay,” he soothes. “Just answer their questions the best you can. I know it’s hard, but. We’ll be here. And Eli’s coming back later, too.” Swallowing hard, I nodded. What else could I do? They were coming whether I wanted them to or not.

“Okay.”

* * *

 

The interview lasted three hours. Solo was with me for all of it, holding my hand tightly as the police asked question after question, probing my memory for any details. What I did remember was fractured, jagged edges that caught in my throat on the way out. It wasn’t enough. Not until they walked me through it, dragging what I did remember out of me with a forcefulness that left my breathless, red-eyed and huddled on my bed. It was Solo who ended the interview. He was the one who guided the police out of my room and into the hall. I could only watch through the window of my room as they spoke together, Trowa joining them, the look of worry matching the one on my brother’s face.

I was curled up in bed, gripping my blankets and sniffling into them, when the door opened. It was just the person I needed it to be. Eli shrugged off his jacket, still looking out at the hall in alarm. Everything about him looked so good. He was dressed in clean blue jeans and a flannel button up over his white teeshirt, his curly hair freshly washed.

“Duo? Hey, is everything okay? What’s with the cops?”

My only reply was to hold out my arms, red-nosed, cheeks tear-stained. I was desperate for touch, trembling and shaking my head. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to talk about anything. I just needed to be held. Part of me was surprised by that. After everything that happened, wasn’t I supposed to hate touch? Wasn’t I supposed to be shying away from the constant affection given to me? Instead, I was leaning in to it. I wanted it. I wanted to be touched, and held. I wanted every single kiss Eli could give me, desperate for the contact. It made me feel normal, to want it. And, more than anything else, it was a constant reminder that my friends, my family, still loved me. They were there for me, ready to support me through anything.

“Oh god,” Eli swallowed hard, nostrils flaring at my distress. He was by my side in an instant, taking me into his arms and pressing a kiss to my temple, holding me protectively against his chest. “Hey, kitten. It’s okay. I’m here.” I clung to him, pressing my face against his chest as I let myself cry, shaking hard. His fingers were in my hair, stroking the long mass of it. “What happened, love?”

“They--made me talk about it.”

“Oh.” I could feel his lips again, pressing over and over to my hair, the crown of my head. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry they made you talk.” He paused, still stroking my hair. “Did it--did you remember anything?”

“Yeah. It’s--cognitive interview--” I broke down, sobbing against his chest as he stroked my hair. What else could I say? I wasn’t going to lie to him.

“Shit. I’m sorry, kitten. That must have been hard for you,” he exhaled heavily, a look of disapproval on his face. “They should have given you more time. They shouldn’t just force someone to--” Cutting himself off, Eli took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “You’re gonna be alright. I’ve got you. You’re safe.” I couldn’t stop shaking, trembling against his chest. Reliving everything had been horrible, but it wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was how it had interfered with the routine. How it had reminded me, suddenly, that I was a victim of a crime, jerking me roughly out of the sense of normalcy my friends and family had tried so hard to give me.

“And--and,” I hiccuped, my lower lip trembling as I sought to verbalize this. “I didn’t even get to--get to get pretty for you. Or anything.” ‘

“Shh, it’s alright,” my lover soothed, fingers running through my hair, nails gently massaging my scalp as he settled next to me on the hospital bed. Eli pulled me on to his lap, rocking me as he wrapped his arms around me. “You can get pretty for me some other time. I’m not going anywhere, remember? You’re going to get out of here, and we’re going to go on all kinds of adventure together, and I’m going to do my best to make sure no one ever hurts my boy ever again.”

“Promise?” I asked, looking tremulously up at him, lower lip trembling, lashes clumped with tears. Eli cradled my jaw, thumb brushing away the tears on my cheeks.

“I promise, kitten.” It was soft, his expression solemn and sincere as he pressed kisses to the corners of my eyes, then under them, finally rubbing our noses together. “We’ll do it soon. Whenever you wanna go, we’ll go. If you need a break from school, you’ll take a break from school. We’ll do this one day at a time, together. How does that sound.”

“Yeah,” I answered him, holding his wrists and rubbing his skin with my thumbs as we rested our foreheads together, awed that anyone could be so perfect. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Eli leaned in and kissed the corner of my mouth. When he continued speaking, it was slow and thoughtful, his green eyes inexpressibly sad. “If you want to talk about it, any of it, I’m here. But if you don’t, that’s okay too. We don’t ever have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“Maybe--maybe one day. But not now. I don’t. Wanna do that,” I exhaled heavily, slumping against him. Talking was exhausting. I just wanted to be held by someone who loved me. “They have the DNA but no match. And I--I didn’t see their face.”

“Part of me didn’t want you to remember.” The admission was soft, his fingers carding through my hair. “I didn’t want you to have to relive it. But the other part...I want to know who did this to you. I want to know who did this so they can suffer the consequences. They should be in jail, whoever they are. And that’s the least. They deserve a lot worse than that.”

“I wish I didn’t remember too. Even if he’s caught, it won’t under what happened. What he did.” I clenched my jaw, forcing back the memories. “I’m still--here.” Shuddering, I bit my lip. “I hate him. I hate him so much.” Eli froze, pulling back to look at me, his eyes searching my face.

“So you do know who did this to you.”

“No? I--I don’t know. I didn’t see his face.” I looked away, slumping and curling into myself. His statement burned. It made my nauseous, stomach churning violently. The thought he didn’t believe what I was saying sent a wave of misery through me. “I said that.” I felt him exhale, his shoulders slumping as he looked away from me, his lower lip caught between his teeth. Slowly, his gaze came back to me, his hand coming out to touch my cheek.

“I’m sorry, kitten. I misunderstood. Come back here. I’m not done with you yet,” he drew me in, arms wrapping tightly around me, chin against the top of my head. The remaining tension left as I settled against his chest, nuzzling his collarbone. “Let’s talk about something else. Hmm? We were supposed to have a date night. I can still brush your hair, we can watch trashy TV…”

“Yeah. I wanna do that.” It sounded perfect, after the day I’d had. Something normal and quiet, spent with the man I loved. He teased me about it, listing off different ways he could do my hair. It was odd to have a routine while I was in the hospital, but we did. He asked about the pain, a knowing glint in his eyes as I dodged the question. I didn’t want to fall asleep. I didn’t want to miss what time I had with him, and I especially didn’t want nightmares. But he let it pass, getting my brush and collection of hair ties and settling behind me. It was cramped, but we didn’t care. We were together, and that was what mattered. I let myself relax into his touch, laughing at the awful TV and his just as awful jokes as he parted and braided my hair, giving me a pair of tight pigtails. It was warm, and happy, and the perfect way to end the day.

“Thank you.” I tipped my head back, smiling up at him as he finished. “For not treating me like I’m gonna break. Or something. For just...being normal. I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome.” He smiled at me, setting the brush to the side. “I figured that was the bet thing I could do for you. Give you a little normalcy. It’s--you’re still the same person to me, Duo. You went through something terrible, and traumatic, but that does nothing to change the way I feel about you.”

“It’s good to have normal,” I agreed, bonelessly resting back against him.

“I agree. It’s good to have normal. You’re my normal now, you know. I can’t imagine anything without you. I don’t want to.” He shook his head. “You’re one of the strongest people I know, Duo.” I didn’t have a reply to that. What could I say? He’d seen me at my worst, and there he was. Telling me how strong I was. I didn’t feel very strong, but I’m sure he knew that. Our focus turned back to the TV, flipping through the channels until we found something suitable. Some old movie about Shakespeare. I had no idea how I was so lucky to have him, but I didn’t want to question it. Not when he so clearly thought I deserved everything he was giving me. He loved me, and that was enough.

 


	24. Eli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shocking revelation comes to light, but it's just the calm before the storm.
> 
> I'm more or less brain dead today, so that's all I'm going to say to preface this chapter. You'll see what I mean. Also, please forgive me for being a day late on the update. I completely spaced yesterday. Oh, and one more thing, as always--thank you for reading. <3 -Zillah

Trowa and I had become fast friends since he and Jake had conspired to get me into the hospital, and, honestly, the timing couldn’t have been better. Luke was gone a lot, spending most of his time at school, where I knew he was throwing himself into his work as a result of his breakup with Jake. It was what he always did when he was stressed. To my chagrin, there wasn’t much that I could do for him, even though I’d offered. Intrinsically, I think we both knew he had to get through it on his own. Luke knew I was there if he needed me, and that was enough. It had to be. At the end of the day, I couldn’t let myself worry about him too much, because I had more pressing concerns. 

Still, the apartment was lonely without him, Jake, or Duo, so I jumped at the offer of company when Trowa extended it, inviting him over for drinks a couple of days after Duo’s interview with the police. Duo was constantly on my mind. I was worried about him and trying not to be, a problem that was exacerbated when I was alone, so I appreciated the distraction Trowa provided. I figured he could use it too.

We were sitting on my couch sharing vodka and wine, already a few drinks in, when Jake came bursting into the apartment, startling us both. His cheeks were flushed, his chest heaving with exertion like he’d run all the way from campus. Knowing him, he probably had. “Jake?” I was instantly tense, a concerned frown pinching my face. Neither of us had expected him, which meant whatever news he had couldn’t be good.

“Eli.” Jake gulped down air, blue eyes wide with alarm as they darted between Trowa and myself, all that silken blond hair snarled around his face, hands flat on the door behind him. “I know who attacked Duo. It--it was--”

He hesitated, bracing himself--and presumably giving us the opportunity to brace ourselves too. I’d already gone stiff, my defenses on high alert. I felt cold all over, voluntarily shuttering my gaze as I struggled to process it, to prepare myself for the blow that was about to rain down. He couldn’t mean it, could he? How had Jake found out? And how did he know he was right? Questions, too many of them, thundered through my mind, making my head pound. I wanted to know. I didn’t want to know. I needed to know. My throat closed up, my heart hammering so hard I almost didn’t hear him when he said, voice soft and sad:

“It was James.”

James. _James?_ Who the hell was James? Eyes narrowed, I stared at Jake without comprehension for several long, breathless seconds as he and Trowa looked at me, waiting to see how I’d react. James. I barely remembered him. Almost couldn’t put a face to the name. But then I recalled a snippet of a conversation I’d had with Duo, and what I did remember made it all come flooding back in a rush that had me reeling. 

James was someone I’d only met once and hadn’t thought about since. Duo had told me a little about him the night of our van date, as background to what he’d been doing before me and why the guy had come into the cafe to begin with, but it hadn’t seemed important to know more at the time. James was that small. That insignificant. He was Duo’s past, a fleeting moment in time, a fling that hadn’t gone any further, and I was Duo’s future. But if Jake was right, and James had done this? If he’d raped and beaten my boyfriend because he couldn’t handle rejection? Then he was about to become my top priority.

Let me make it clear that I’m not a revenge guy, normally. I’m pretty calm and let most things roll off my back because, let’s face it, most things--most _little_ things--aren’t worth getting upset over. Basically, I choose my battles. This was different, though. This wasn’t little, not by any stretch of the imagination.

I felt Trowa’s hand close on my shoulder right before I shook it off and shot to my feet, arms crossed over my chest, nostrils flaring with barely contained rage. “How do you know?” I bit it out, jaw clenched. “Are you sure?” It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Jake, but he had a flair for the dramatic. That combined with an overactive imagination meant I needed him to be sure. Needed to know he wasn’t overreacting or seeing things that weren’t there. The last thing I wanted to do was go after someone who turned out to be innocent in all of this. 

Trowa spoke up from behind me, a bastion of reason as Jake regarded us through a sheen of thinly-veiled panic. “Calm down, Jake. Tell us what happened.”

The lithe little blond wrapped his arms around himself and shook his head, eyes wet. “I’m sorry. I had to tell you.” He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. “James came into the cafe. He asked how Duo was...if he was okay...like he knew. He _knows_ , Eli. I’m sure of it. I’m sure it was him.”

Hearing it confirmed was staggering. All the breath went out of me as I sank onto the couch, heavy as a stone, hanging my head and scrubbing my hands through my hair. “And how could he know what happened to Duo unless he did it himself.” It wasn’t a question. I barely recognized my own voice as the words came out of me, hard and cold. In my gut, I knew Jake was right. There wasn’t a part of me that could deny it. “Fuck.”

“It is okay, Jake. You did the right thing.” Trowa, who had an obvious soft spot for his fellow ballet dancer, went for a gentler approach, holding a hand out in silent invitation. I didn’t pay much attention as Jake joined us on the couch, shaking like a leaf and plastering himself to Trowa’s side. “We should tell the police. They are going to want to investigate.”

Trowa didn’t know James, but, to be fair, none of us did. All Jake and I had was one encounter to go off of, and that wasn’t much. As far as I knew, James was just a normal, self-absorbed college kid who thought the world revolved around him. Or at least that was what I’d thought. But he _wasn’t_ normal. Normal people didn’t hate and hurt and violate the way he’d done to Duo. James was a monster. And he was an idiot. Coming into the cafe asking about Duo? What the hell was he thinking? Did he really think we weren’t going to know it was him? I couldn’t wrap my head around the logic, but then I couldn’t wrap my head around much of anything, not when I was too busy seeing red.

“Is it possible that it was not James?” Trowa continued, saving me from having to say anything. I didn’t think I could speak. Wasn’t entirely sure I trusted myself to. What could I say? How could words suffice? “Perhaps James overheard someone else bragging.”

I bent at the waist, bracing my forearms on my thighs and clasping my hands between my knees, staring at the carpet in a crimson haze as the conversation went on without me.

“I don’t know who else it could be, Trowa. Who else could...hate Duo that much.” There was an edge to Jake’s voice I didn’t think I’d heard before. “You don’t know him. You weren’t there the day James came into the cafe and tried to coerce Duo into getting back with him. Duo didn’t want anything to do with him, but this guy--” There was a pause as Jake sucked his breath in. I could picture him shaking his head. “He wouldn’t take no for an answer. Not until Eli stepped in.”

There was another pause, all three of us trying to decide what to say or if we should take action. The air was tense. I felt like I was choking on it. Unable to sit still any longer, I released an explosive breath and stood, fitfully starting to pace the room, hands in my hair as Trowa and Jake continued to murmur to each other in grave tones.

“Do you want to go to the police?”

“I don’t know,” Jake said. “What do you think, Eli? How should we do this? Do we say something to Duo? Will knowing who did this to him make things better or worse? I mean, he needs closure eventually. But is now the right time?”

I stopped pacing and looked at him, taking in his wide eyes and helpless expression, and let out a soft, humorless laugh, shaking my head. “Jake, I don’t--I don’t know, okay? I don’t know.” My head fell back, eyes searching the ceiling like it could give me the answers I was so desperately searching for, fingers trembling at the bridge of my nose. I should know what to do, I thought, but I didn’t have the first clue. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want any of this. 

Inhaling deeply, I took a moment to collect my thoughts. “There’s a chance it wasn’t James, sure. But that’s not what my gut is telling me.”

My instincts were about all I could trust right now, so I decided to let them guide me. I didn’t know what else to do, but I certainly couldn’t let myself be helpless and do nothing. I had a chance to control the narrative here, at least in part, and that was my thing, wasn’t it? As a writer, all I’d ever wanted was to feel in control of something, no matter how small, especially when my own life lay in shambles around me. Exhaling slowly, I set my jaw and put my game face on.

“Okay, so. James. Where does he live? Where does he work? Where does he hang out? Do you know?”

The only thing I felt good about doing with this information was confronting James with it, and I couldn’t do that without talking to Duo first. It was going to be difficult, but he deserved to know our suspicions before we acted on them. As the victim, the final say belonged to him, which meant I had my decision. Talk to Duo, confront James, go to the police if necessary. It was tentative, to be sure. Duo’s reaction might change my mind about what I planned to do, but it was all I had right now. If I didn’t have a plan, something to ground me and keep me in the moment, I was going to lose my mind. 

Jake didn’t know any more about James than I did. I’d suspected as much, but I had to ask. “I’m not sure, Eli.” Lower lip trembling, he leaned into Trowa, who put his hand on his back, rubbing it gently, trying to keep him calm. I was glad he was there to do it, because I didn’t think I could. I couldn’t be that guy right now. “You’d have to ask Duo, and that would mean telling him what we think. And I don’t--I don’t know if that’s a good idea. He’s already been through so much.” His voice broke. “God, that fucking asshole.”

I broke in before he could get himself too worked up again, keeping my voice level and firm by sheer force of will. “If it was James, he deserves to know. He deserves to know who did this to him. I’m not going to start a fight, but I _am_ going to confront him. If it was him, and I can at least...I don’t know, convince him to make this right by turning himself in?” I swallowed and shook my head. “I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s the right thing, but I do know he can’t get away with this. He can’t. What he did...that’s going to be with Duo forever. You saw him. Both of you. You know how bad it is.”

At this point, I wasn’t sure whether I was trying to convince them or myself more. Looking back on it, I think part of me was trying to justify what I was eventually going to end up doing to James. Not that I regret it now. I don’t think I could, considering the circumstances. I just think I always had a sense that if I ever got my hands on Duo’s attacker, it wasn’t going to be pretty. 

Trowa was in agreement. “I cannot say I blame you. If he did this, he needs to pay. He cannot get away with it. Talking to Duo might be best.”

Jake’s breath hitched, and I turned to see him shaking his head, tears standing in his eyes. “I don’t think I can tell him. I’m sorry. I just can’t. I’m sorry.”

Seeing Jake this upset was almost as hard as seeing Duo upset. They were both so similar, so small and soft and strong--soft in the all the right places, strong where they needed to be. It was one of the things that made them such good friends. I could see that now. They loved hard and cared with everything they had because they knew what it was like to go without, and they refused to let their friends suffer the same fate. 

Coming from broken homes, Jake and Duo had struggled to get to where they were now, and yet they were always there. There with a hug, there with a smile, there with whatever was needed. There for each other and everyone around them without condition, even to their own detriment at times. They never broke. Never gave up. Watching the walls they’d worked so hard to build crumble around them was heartbreaking. It made me even more furious at James for what he’d done, to Duo and to all of us. 

I felt razor-sharp and dangerous, balanced on a knife’s edge, but I could soften for Jake, and I did, going to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright, mouse. I know it’s hard for you. He’s your best friend, and you’ve spent a lot of time with him these past few days.” Jake didn’t need to know I’d already made up my mind. This just made it easier to see things through the way I wanted to. “You need a break. I’ll go talk to him. He should hear it from me anyway.”

Jake nodded, expression watery and grateful as he looked up at me, throwing his arms around my waist in a tight hug. It shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did. The contact came both as a shock and as a profound relief, a comfort I needed badly, so I soaked it all in, let it calm me as much as I could.

“I’m sorry you had to find out like this,” Jake said, and I laid a hand on his hair, smiling for the first time since he’d walked through the door. He was sorry? He had nothing to be sorry for. “I hope you get him, Eli. I’m with both of you. James needs to pay. And I hope he does.”

He pulled back and smiled, the expression transforming his face in a way that completely staggered me. I’d never been interested in Jake that way, but in that moment I could see what made everyone he met fall in love with him. He and Solo were well-matched. I was glad they were together, and happy, even knowing what it had cost Luke. Glad that some good had come out of all of this.

I bent to kiss his forehead. “Thank you, Jake. You’re a good friend. Why don’t you stay here for now, okay?” I looked at Trowa. “Do you mind keeping him company?”

Trowa said he didn’t, so I left them together, my heart pounding with the anticipation of seeing Duo and what I was about to tell him. I hopped a bus to the hospital, slowly making my way down its softly lit, sleepy nighttime corridors. The nurses knew me by now, waving me on even though visiting hours were long past over. The place had become familiar to me over the course of the last week, so much so that I didn’t find it threatening anymore, but I still couldn’t wait to bring Duo home. Every part of me rebelled against seeing him lying in that hospital bed, no matter how many times I visited. He shouldn’t be there. He never should’ve been there.

My boyfriend was asleep when I arrived. I’d expected as much, so I took his hand in mine and settled in for the night, accustomed by now to the cramped confines of his bedside chair. When I woke the next morning, he was still asleep. I watched his face for a while, felt the easy rise and fall of his chest beneath my hand, the steady, reassuring beat of his heart, and then I got up and walked the halls, working out the kinks in my neck and preparing what I needed to say to him. I didn’t think I was ready for it--didn’t think I’d ever be--but it had to be done.

When I returned to the room, Duo was awake and smiling. I savored that small happiness while I could, knowing it wasn’t going to last long. Pulse racing, I swallowed the nervous lump in my throat and went to him, brushing his hair back and bending to kiss his forehead.

“Good morning, kitten. How are you feeling today?”

He flushed and giggled, taking my hand and kissing the back of it. I’d burn down entire cities for that smile. “I’m doing okay. I feel better than I did before.”

“Good. I’m glad.” We made idle small talk for a few minutes, talking about the time we’d spent apart and how we’d filled it. Eventually, though, there was silence between us. I think Duo could tell I had something to say, and I didn’t think I could delay any longer. There was no way to ease him into this like I wanted to. I just had to come out with it. Taking a deep breath, I looked down at our joined hands, fighting to keep my emotions off my face.

“So, I have to tell you something that’s going to be upsetting for you to hear.” I paused, meeting his eyes. “But I think you need to hear it.”

He nodded slowly, his hand tightening on mine. “I--okay. What’s going on, Eli?” I could hear in his voice that he was trying not to panic. That alone made me not want to tell him, to keep him safe for a little while longer, but I’d only be delaying the inevitable. Besides, what was safe anymore?

“We think--” I wrapped both my hands around his and settled on the bed next to him, stroking his knuckles with my thumb. “We think we know who did it. Who attacked you.” 

I heard his breath hitch, saw him turn white as a sheet, felt his hand in stiffen in mine, clutching it tightly enough to cut off circulation. “You--you do--”

Nodding, I wet my lips, keeping an even expression as I went on. “Duo, I don’t have to tell you. Not if you don’t want me to, but…” I bit my lower lip and drew a deep breath in through my nose, exhaling through my mouth. “Jake came to Trowa and I with this. They’re thinking about going to the police. I’d like to go talk to this person to see if I can convince him to turn himself in first, and I’d like to have your permission to do that.” 

It was asking a lot of him, I knew, but as difficult as this was, I had a feeling it would be worse if I didn’t involve him in the decision-making process. I didn’t want to go behind his back on this, and I wanted his input besides. Whether I was wrong or right in my thinking, I wasn’t comfortable making this decision without him.

Duo tipped his head back and closed his eyes, struggling with it. “I don’t know. You--you can do whatever you want, but I don’t know if I--want to know.” 

I slid my hand around his waist and pulled him against me, resting my temple against his. “It’s alright. If you don’t want to know, I won’t tell you. But we’re still going after him. We’re going to make sure he’s punished to the full extent of the law. Do you understand?” My voice broke as I inhaled against his hair. “We can’t let him get away with this. I can’t.”

Duo clung to me, nodding and nuzzling my cheek, then took a deep, shuddering breath. The room was quiet, our breaths solemn and slow, the ticking of the clock the loudest sound in existence, seconds fading into seconds, into seconds, into seconds. It became soothing after a while. “I--I understand. We can’t let him do something like this again. To someone else.”

“No, we can’t.” I rubbed his back in slow, pacifying circles, doing my best to keep him calm as we talked. The thought of going after James made me feel nauseated. If we were wrong about him, this entire thing could go badly. I was acutely aware of that. All I wanted right now was to talk to him, though. Depending on what he said, I could decide what my next move was. I was in control, I told myself. Totally in control. I repeated it over and over in my head, my life raft, my mantra. Until I knew, until I could look into his eyes and see the truth, I couldn’t let my emotions get the best of me. I needed every last ounce of self-restraint that I had.

“I need to know where he lives or works, where he spends his time,” I continued my train of thought. “I was going to ask you, but if you don’t want to know, I can find some other way. I’ll do some digging and see what I find.”

We separated, looking gravely at each other. Duo shook his head and squared his shoulders, eyes flashing, fierce and defiant. “No. If I can help, I want to. If I knew him, I want him caught.”

It was strained, a little cracked and brittle at the edges, but I smiled nonetheless. “I’m proud of you, babe. So proud.” This was it, I thought, stopping my hand from shaking by squeezing his. “Jake thinks it was James.” I pressed my lips into a thin line. “He came into the cafe asking about you.”

Duo’s response was instantaneous, the devastation on his face hitting me like a physical blow, like an earthquake, reducing all my reason to ashes and dust. “James. Oh. Oh, god.” His eyes welled and his face paled, his breath coming in short gasps as he started to hyperventilate, quickly rattling off an address. “That’s--that’s where he lives. It’s an off-campus dorm. His roommates are never home.”

The sound he made shook me, a keen from deep down in his wounded core that made me want to do violence to the one who’d caused it. I could feel my eyelids twitching, my teeth grinding as I bit my tongue on the desperate cry building in me. Bringing his trembling frame close to mine, I set my own grief aside and cradled the back of his head, stroking his hair as I rocked him in my arms and crooned words of comfort in his ear.

I thought of my sister, Emily. Thought of how it’d been my job to protect her and how I’d failed, letting the sea take her. I wasn’t going to let the same thing happen to Duo. Wasn’t going to leave him behind. This was the man I loved, the man I wanted to spend my life with. He was mine to keep, mine to adore, mine to cherish and protect, unconditionally and without fail. Every breath in my body was devoted to him, and I was going to make sure something like this never happened to him again. I was going to help him heal, one piece at a time if that was what it took, and that healing started now. It started with bringing James down, one way or another. I wasn’t sure Duo could find peace otherwise. I wasn’t sure I could find peace otherwise. 

I continued to murmur to him, soft and soothing, as he sobbed and shook against me. What could I say to make this better? There was nothing, so I simply let him feel. I let him howl and cry and mourn, and I held him the entire time, rubbing his back and reminding him to breathe. He was so far gone he didn’t even notice when the nurse slipped in, checking his IV and dosing it with practiced ease. I hoped he could sleep after this, hoped the drugs worked quickly so I could do what needed to be done and end this thing. End it so that we could move on.

Soon enough, he started to relax against me, and I knew the drugs were taking hold. “It’s alright, Duo. You’re safe. You’re safe with me. I won’t let him get near you ever again. He’s not going to touch anyone ever again.” 

At length, he pulled back and looked at me, eyes red-rimmed and swollen. “Did they--did they give me something?” He furrowed his brow, sighing as I nodded. “Oh, well. I suppose I needed it.” Biting his lip, he looked away, voice tremulous. “You can’t promise that, Eli. Even if--even if he goes to jail, he won’t stay there.” He laughed weakly. “God.”

“You don’t know that.” I met his eyes, mouth set in a thin, grim line. “You don’t know what’s going to happen. Neither of us does. But I’m going to make this right for you as best I can.” I could barely look at him. Could barely stand everything I felt, seeing him cry like that. It was too much. Looking away, I clenched my jaw and took a deep breath, using it to center myself. I was trying so hard not to crack, but my voice broke anyway. “You don’t know what this has done to me. Seeing you like this. I have to do something.” 

I regretted it the moment it came out of my mouth and I saw him crumple, eyes sliding away in shame, shoulders curling forward. “I’m sorry,” he sniffled. “I’m sorry I let this happen.”

God, did he think--he thought I was blaming him! I hadn’t meant it, not at all. It had just...come out wrong. Duo loved me because I always knew what to say, or so he claimed, but even I didn’t have the right words all the time. I wished I did, if only I could make this easier for him.

Taking his face in my hands, I tipped his chin up and forced him to meet my eyes, determined that he hear me--not just hear me, but _believe_ me. “Listen to me. This was not your fault. You didn’t do anything to invite this. You couldn’t have known this was going to happen. This is _his_ fault, Duo. _He_ did this. _You_ did not. You didn’t force him to do anything. No one did. It was a choice _he_ made.”

He was crying again, weakly this time, but his eyes were on mine, hooded from the sedative as he clutched at my wrists, saying nothing, only listening. 

I brushed the skin under his eyes with my thumbs and dried his tears, my expression softening as I brought our mouths together and kissed him as tenderly as I could. “This isn’t your fault. I’ll tell you as many times as you need me to until you believe it.” Resting our foreheads together, I swallowed hard. “You’re special, and sweet, and good, and I’ll never blame you for this. No one will, because it wasn’t your fault.” It was going to take some time for him to fully come to grips with it, to accept it, but I didn’t mind repeating myself. 

Duo swayed into me, his trembling slowly abating as he clung to the front of my shirt. “Thank you,” he exhaled heavily. “I couldn’t do this without you.” I wrapped my arms around him again, lips moving over his eyelashes, his forehead, his hairline, his temple. 

“Don’t worry, kitten. I’ll take care of everything.” My voice was hoarse. There was something in it I’d never heard before, a feeling rattling around inside me that I had no name for. It went beyond rage, beyond pain, and into darker, more dangerous territory. It scared me, if I was honest, but it was part of what was motivating me. I needed it to persevere, to make it through this vast, smothering darkness and out the other side into the light again. “You just relax and get some rest, and I’ll take care of everything, okay?”

“Daddy will take care of me, right?” There was a hint of a tease to it, a smile on his lips as he arched up and kissed my chin. He was so brave, so strong. It made me love him even more.

As he relaxed, so did I, returning his smile. “Exactly. That’s what I’m here for.” I cleared my throat. “I mean it, though. I really do. You’ve got a lot of support, Duo. You’ve got a lot of people who love you behind you, and we’re gonna our best to get you through this. We’re gonna make sure that...that _animal_ gets what he deserves.”

“I know,” he sighed. “It’s just hard. I don’t like relying on other people. I wanna...I wanna be out of the hospital, and able to take care of myself again. I wanna stop freaking out.” He tucked his face against my neck, his breath on my skin sweet and soft, making me shiver. “I hate this.”

“It’s alright to feel that way. It’s hard, what you’re going through. But it won’t be like this for much longer. Just try to be patient with yourself.” Thumb brushing his lower lip, I kissed him one more time, lingering as long as I could as I ran my hands down his arms and eased him back against the bed. For as much as I wanted to stay with him, I also wanted to move. I wanted to be done with this, to find resolution and feel some kind of peace at the end of it all. “Do it for me, if nothing else.”

There was resistance in his frame, and an undercurrent of petulance in his expression, but he didn’t fight me on it. I didn’t think he could. “Okay, for you.” He gave into the drugs with a smile, eyes slipping shut. “I’m gonna nap. I’m hoping that if I get enough of them, I get to go home sooner.” That made me smile too, laughing huskily as I kissed the thin skin of his wrist.

Easing myself off the bed, I stood, slowly tucking him in, my eyes lingering on his face. I wanted to remember everything. Every detail. Every expression. When I confronted James, I wanted to remember what, and who, I was doing it for. “That’s my boy. I think a nap is a good idea.” I stood back, sliding my hands into my pockets. “Do you want me to stay with you until you fall asleep? I have to go soon. Have that talk.” I smiled thinly, my mouth a sharp slash. “But I’ll be back later.”

Duo shook his head, curling under the covers. “No, I’ll be okay. Jake’s gonna come by after class, and no one really needs to watch me sleep.” He was already half asleep as it was, starting to slur his words. “I’ll see you tonight. Love you.”

“I love you too, Duo. See you tonight.” With a look of grim determination, I strode out of the room, closing the door behind me. I didn’t make it back that night.


	25. Trowa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which we finally get to see Trowa's perspective! Trowa is an absolute joy to write, and he has some strong feelings about his friends. When we started planning this fic, I knew this particular scene had to be from Trowa's POV, and he did not disappoint. I hope he doesn't disappoint any of you. 
> 
> As a heads up: That whole character death/murder thing? This chapter deals with the aftermath. Trowa's got some History, y'all. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading! <3 We appreciate the feedback, and the support. It means the world to us. 
> 
> <3,  
> Amberly

I had come to New York to be with my family. There had been no question when Solo called me. He said come and I came, flying from St. Petersburg with no explanation given other than “Family Emergency.” I did not know what to expect. Someone was hurt. Solo would not have called otherwise. But beyond that, I did not know. I only knew that my family was in danger, one of the twins injured enough that my friend’s voice trembled over the phone. Nadia was in England, which left Duo. 

Seeing him in the hospital broke my heart. When I went home to Russia, he had been 12. Young and sweet despite his father’s cruelty, always smiling or laughing at something. To see him so quiet was wrong. It was as if the sun had been dimmed, replaced with a permanently black night with no hope of moon. To see Duo and hear the absence of joy in his voice tore at my heart, calling a very familiar rage up inside of me. Whoever had done this needed to pay, and it was only the presence of the others that kept me from seeking out revenge. The others were the one good thing about the visit, new addition I never expected, but cherished immediately. Jake was lovely, a dancer like myself. And Eli--Eli was not only the love of Duo’s life. He very quickly became my best friend. So when he asked me for help, I did not question it--just as I did not question it with Solo.

It began with a text.

**Trowa? I need help.**

**Eli? Is everything okay? Is Duo okay?**

**I did a bad thing. A really bad thing. I think I'm in trouble. I didn't know who else to ask but I was wondering if you could come to me? Duo is fine as far as I know. I saw him at the hospital a couple hours ago.**

**I can come. Where are you? Text me the location**

**Please come quickly. I'm inside. It's dark but the door is unlocked.**

The last text was accompanied by an address. The pit of dread in my stomach grew as I recognized an address near campus. I showed up no more than fifteen minutes later, dressed in jeans and a black sweater. The door was unlocked, as Eli had said, and I made my way in with a carefully blank expression. I was not sure what to expect, and life had taught me to expect anything. Even so, coming in to find Eli on the couch, sitting in the dark with his hands clasped tightly over his mouth, eyes full of tears as he rocked himself made goosebumps raise on my skin.

And then I saw the body.

It had been many years since I had seen a corpse. The first time I had been very young. I almost did not remember it, and maybe my life would have been better if I did not. My parents were taken from me when I was little more than a toddler, and to this day I do not forget how it was to look at them. To see them and realize they were no longer there. I saw more death throughout my misspent youth, and it was always the same feeling. The same horrified amazement that what I was looking at somehow no longer existed. It was no longer a person; it was a thing.

“You called the right person.” I told Eli, forcing myself to remain detached as I clapped him on the shoulder. He startled at the touch, looking up at me and blinking. “Get up. We have to get rid of it.”

“It was an accident.” Eli spoke shakily as he stood. “I didn’t mean to kill him. I just wanted him to turn himself in. I didn’t mean to…” He trailed off and swallowed, staring wide-eyes at the body, hands clenched into fists at his side. This was not good. He was in shock, moving much too slowly for the task at hand.

“Eli,” I kept my voice soft and firm, looking into his face. “We do not have time. We have to get rid of it and make sure the scene is clean.” Squeezing his shoulder, I gave him a small, wry smile. “We will talk after. Find a sheet. We need to wrap it.”

“Right. Right.” Taking a deep breath, he ran his hands over his face, pressing them into his closed eyes and shaking his head. I could see him switch into autopilot as he turned from me to find a sheet. It was going to be hard for him, and I did not like having to be so tough. But we did not have time. James had roommates, and we did not know when they would be home. It was best to clean up as quickly as possible and leave the scene.

“Did you drink anything? Wash your hands?” I asked, taking the sheet from him.

“No. No. He opened the door and I came in. I didn’t sit down. I didn’t touch anything.” He clenched his hands into fists. “I strangled him. I was so angry—“ It cut off as Eli bit his tongue, taking a deep breath “Do you need me to do anything else?” I did not. We simply needed to get out of there, and I knew that Eli was not in a position to help. So I did the work, wrapping the body in a sheet, careful not to touch it directly despite the gloves. There were more things I wanted to do, but I did not have the tools. And I did not think Eli would be able to stomach them.

“I know this is hard,” I told him, feigning a calmness I did not feel as I hoisted the body over my shoulder. “And I am sorry to be so callous. But the focus now is to get rid of the body and make sure it is never found.”

“It’s fine,” he wet his lips. “That’s what I called you. I had--I had a feeling that you might know what to do. I appreciate you coming on such short notice. I don’t know what I would’ve--” Eli cut off, clenching his jaw and looking away from me. I hated to see him this way. Killing someone is never an easy thing, and Eli was such a sensitive person. It was not going to be easy for him, this I knew.

“Come.” I gestured for the door. “Go to my car. Open the drunk if there is no one where. I will be right behind you.” There was a short nod, and then he was moving, heading to the door. I took my time, wanting to be sure the coast was clear. Finally deeming it safe enough, I hefted the body over my shoulder. With a jaunty whistle, I made my way to the car, settling the body in the trunk and leaning over to kiss Eli on the cheek. I wanted us to look as normal as possible. As if we were simply moving some furniture around. If anyone was around to see, I am sure all they saw were two men loading a car together. The very picture of domesticity. I hoped. “Thank you, darling. Let us go.”  

“So that’s it? That’s all we have to do?” Eli asked me, touching his fingers to his cheek. He looked dazed, brows furrowed in confusion as he followed me into the car. Slipping into the passenger seat, he buckled in and exhaled harshly, shoulders slumping in relief. “God.”

“We are not done yet,” I could not help but chuckle, glancing over at him as I began to drive off. “But you can fall apart now. We have a long drive ahead of us, da?” Reaching between us, I took his hand, squeezing it warmly. “Tell me what happened.”

Eli shuddered at my command, burying his face in his free hand, shoulders tensed and trembling. My heart ached for him. This was not a burden I would have wanted for my friend. Not for any of them. But it was his to bear, now, and I would have to find a way to make him comfortable with it. Somehow.

“I…” he paused, wetting his lips and he squeezed my hand. “I just went over there to talk. To try to get a confession out of him, and see if he’d turn himself in. But he provoked me and I...I lost it, Trowa. He hurt Duo. He did something to him that he’s going to have to live with forever, and the rage that’s...that’s been quietly building inside me all this time...it got out. I lost control.”

“Well. I will say that he deserved it. I admire you restraint. I would not have talked, no would I have been gentle.” I shot him a dark look, tightening my grip on the steering wheel. Taking a deep breath, I looked over at him again, taking in the defeated slump of his posture, the anguish in his expression. “But I am sorry that it was you. You do not deserve to have this on your shoulders.”

“I’m not--I’ve never done anything like this.” He admitted to me, straightening in his seat and looking out the window. “I’m not a violent person. I mean, I’ve had violet thoughts before--everyone does--but I’ve never thought of myself as being capable of something like this.” Eli pressed his lips together. “I killed someone…”

“Da. You did.” I squeezed his hand tightly. “You killed the person who beat and raped the man you love.”

“I did. He did. He did that. I don’t feel good about what I did, but--” Eli whimpered, biting his lip as his eyes filled with tears. “I didn’t want to do it. I wanted him to pay but I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to hurt anyone.” There was a sniffle, tears streaming down his cheeks. “But maybe I had no other choice...I couldn’t let him get away with it.”

“I am not just a Ballerina in Russia.”

“Yeah?” There was a thick, choked laugh, Eli’s grip on my hand getting tighter. “I was just about to ask. Most ballerinas don’t know how to dispose of bodies on a moment’s notice.”

“It is better that you do not know everything. Let us say it was a misspent youth and leave it a that.” I shot him a wink, then continued. “You did not want to do it. But if you had not...even if he had gone to jail, it would not have been forever. And he would have done this again.” That got me a slow nod. Eli was quiet for a long time, calming himself and running hand down his face to wipe away the tears drying there.

“Do you--do you really think he deserved it? Because I wanted him to go to jail. I wanted him to go away from a long time, but...I don’t know. I don’t know what would have happened even if he had been caught by the cops. I just…” He paused, shuddering hard. “How am I going to tell Duo? What’s he going to think of me? How am I going to live with this?”

“Duo loves you. He will love you no matter what you do,” I told him firmly. “Trust him to help you bear this burden. And trust that I will help you as well.” Squeezing his hand, I shot him a sideways look. “It does not get lighter. But you learn to carry it.” Staring out the window with red-rimmed eyes, Eli listened to me without comment. When he looked back at me, finally, his face was exhausted.

“Thank you. I’m--I’m glad you’re here. I don’t know who else I would’ve called.” He let out a soft, joyless laugh. “I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t thinking at all. I try so hard to be in control all the time, but I just snapped. Knowing this was the person responsible for causing Duo so much pain...I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“You are an honorable man, and you tried to do the right thing. And--to be very honest with you, I believe you did the right thing.” The grin I shot him was slow and feral. “I am only sorry that it was not me. Solo will feel the same way.” I paused, then continue, watching him out of the corner of my eye. “Sometimes it is good to let go of that control. To let that darkness out. Otherwise, my friend, it will build.”

“I’ve been keeping it in for a long time. Ever since the death of my sister, I think. But I’ve been too afraid to let it out. Maybe I should have. I’m going to have o find a way to deal with it, and I can’t do it by letting something like this happen again.” Swallowing hard, Eli’s brow furrowed. I was glad that he was admitting it. Men who did not let it out became violent, and I did not want Duo with someone who would be violent. There had been enough of that with his father. He deserved peace, now. Someone who would love him and cherish him, regardless of the games played in the bedroom.

“It would be good for you,” I agreed, before continuing on, much more hesitantly. “It is not my business. Your relationship with Duo. But I do...if he is like his brother, he will be able to help you some.”

“I feel like my focus has to be on helping Duo heal before I can ask him to help me. I don’t know how what he’s been through is going to affect certain aspects of our relationship. All we can do is wait and see. We’ll find a way forward, no matter what. I don’t think there’s anything else we can do.” He trailed off as I slowed the car. Turning off of the road near a large field, I pulled the car up behind some bushes. We were going to need cover for what we had to do.

“That is not a bad idea,” I agreed, putting the car in park. “But I would say...allow him to also set that boundary. He needs to be normal, I think.”

“I agree. He needs normal. That’s what I’ve been trying to give him. It’s been hard.”  His breath hitched, hand running over his face. “It’s been so hard. All I’ve wanted to do these past few days is break down and cry with him, but he needs me to be normal. He needs me to be strong.”

“Eli...Being normal means crying with him. Do not treat him as if he is made of glass. You know Duo.” I raised my eyebrow. “Do you think he would like that? Long term?”

“I’m not treating him like he’s made of glass, Trowa.” He was quick to snap back, all of that anger he had been holding lashing out. “He thanked me for not doing that. I’m doing the best I can.” Throwing the car door open, he stomped out. “Let’s bury this body.” There was a pause. “Are we--where are we?”

“We are in the middle of nowhere, and this is going to be very trying for both of us.” I shut the door behind myself as I exited the car, looking around the empty space. “I do not have a shovel--I did not think we would actually be hiding a body. But I think we will be able to think of something.” Eli could only laugh, a little hysterical. There was so much stress catching up with him, I did not blame him. Opening the trunk, I hoisted the body up, slinging it over my shoulder. I had never met James while he was alive, but he was very light in death. It was the only thing I could thank him for.

“We will need...well. Let us see what we can find. Maybe a natural hole, and some rocks? Or a tree?” I hefted James higher on my shoulder and began to walk, watching out for a suitable spot. Eli followed behind me, poking at the ground with a long stick he had found.

“I don’t...look, I’m sorry.” He said after many moments of quiet. “But I don’t...I don’t want to cry in front of him. I don’t want him to see me like that. This is hard enough for him as it is.” I thought very carefully before I replied, following along beside him. This was something he needed. It was not just about killing James. It was about everything that he had wrapped up and tucked away inside of him, refusing to throw it away no matter how badly it festered.

“I understand that it is hard. But do you really want to keep that part of yourself from Duo? Do you think that Duo would want you to do that?” I shook my head. “Your relationship is between the two of you. It is clear you both value it.” I shrugged carelessly, the body on my shoulder bouncing. “But what do I know. I have been single for a very long time.”

“No, I don’t. But I’ve never done this before.” He threw his hands up, voice cracking as he continued. “I’ve never done anything like this. With anyone. And everything that’s been going on...I’ve never been through anything like it. So I’m just fumbling through it.” Taking a deep breath, Eli squared his shoulders, heading towards a large tree in the middle of the field. “Jake really likes you, you know.”

“I know you are--I. Oh? He does? Well.” I was blindsided by the comment, following after him.  I knew Eli well enough to know that he was diverting my attention away from him and Duo, and I let him. He had done enough soul searching for one night, and he would be thinking about what we had said. About what I had said. “

“Oh yeah. I know he and Solo are fooling around...but I’m sure they’d invite you, if you wanted to join them.”

“I will consider that. They are very attractive. And I have been with Solo before.” Waggling my eyebrows at him, I snorted, dumping the body at the base of the tree. This one had a natural split up one side, something that would be perfect for what we needed to. “This tree will be perfect. Are there any branches? We can block it off. It is not likely it will be found--or that anyone will look for him here.”

“I wouldn’t let this chance pass up,” Eli advised, inspecting the tree. “Solo seems possessive.” He snorted, shaking his head and starting to laugh as he collected  the branches littering the ground. “I can’t believe we’re actually doing this.”

“What? Getting rid of a body and talking about threesomes?” I winked at him, eyes sparkling. “I have had weirder things happen.” Grinning, I carefully began to wedge the body into the tree, using the branches to force it deeper into the crack, keeping it covered from view. I did not want there to be any risk of finding it. Eli could not go to jail, and not only because of Duo. I did not want to have to visit him there, either. “There.” Stepping away from the tree, I looked critically over my work. “I almost want to set it on fire, but if we do that, it will attract attention.” I shook my head. “Oh well.”  

“You should write an autobiography. I wanna read it.” Eli raised his eyebrow. “Better yet, you should tell me your story and I can write your biography.” He looked over the body, then hooked an arm around my neck, giving my shoulder a squeeze. “Thank you, Trowa.” I wrapped my own arm around him, pressing a firm kiss to his temple.

“Any time. You are family. It is what we do, for family.” I paused. “Maybe any time should not be a time soon, though. It will be hard to fly from Russia again so soon.” Laughing, Eli tipped his head back, looking up at the sky.

“Yeah. Family.” It was warm, full of the same affection I could feel in my own chest. I was glad that Eli had called me, out of everyone. And this, I knew, would only be the beginning of our friendship. He sagged against me, heaving an exhausted sigh. “So if you’re not busy after this, I think I need to get really drunk...or really stoned. I don’t think I can be alone right now.”

"Well,” I laughed, guiding him back to the car. “I will be able to do both. Come. We will deal with your first death the way we do back home--with vodka and smoking. You will forget your name and everything else.” I squeezed his shoulder. “And you will have a terrible hangover tomorrow. But you will feel better.”

My friend only laughed, leaning in to me, trusting that I would carry him through.


	26. Duo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Duo and Eli come to terms with the latter's actions last we saw him, and Eli gets some much-needed good news.
> 
> I know this is coming to you guys a week late, and for that I apologize deeply. The past few weeks have been crazy for both Amberly and myself, and things are about to get even crazier. As we approach the end of the fic, updates will hopefully continue to happen weekly, as they have been, but if we fall behind, there's good reason for it, so please be patient with us. Thank you for sticking with this little labor of love. <3 -Zillah

When Eli finally showed up at the hospital, he was drawn and pale and freshly showered. There was guilt written all over his face as he knocked, something I could see even from my vantage point on the bed. I was exhausted. I’d spent my night waiting for him to show up, and he hadn’t. He hadn’t even called, leaving me alone to sit with my thoughts. Jake had stayed as long as he could, but it hadn’t been enough. He wasn’t Eli, and no matter how hard he tried it wasn’t the same. 

“Hey,” he said, finally looking at me, expression wary. I didn’t reply. I couldn’t. My face was still tear-streaked, my hair in a wild tangle. I looked at him with red-rimmed, puffy eyes, then turned my back on him, deliberately, holding tightly to Cat. I didn’t want to talk to him. I didn’t even want to look at him, I was so upset. He’d abandoned me, left me alone in the hospital where anything could happen. Anyone could just come in. 

“Oh, no. No. Duo.” I couldn’t see him, but I could hear the distress in his voice. Could hear him moving around the bed to sit down. He was in my view now, pinching the bridge of his nose with his eyes pressed shut, face drawn. They opened, and he leaned in, looking intently at me. I looked down. “Hey, look at me.” I didn’t, posture stiffening further, my lower lip trembling as I pressed my face against Cat. “I didn’t forget to come back last night. I wouldn’t--I’d never do something like that on purpose. Something happened. Something bad.”

“You didn’t even--you didn’t even text. I waited for you.” 

“I’m sorry, kitten.” His voice quavered as he pressed the heel of his hand in to his eyes, face crumpling. I felt a flicker of concern at the sound. “I’m so sorry. I meant to, but…” He threw his arm over me, pressing his face to my shoulder and inhaling deeply. “It’s not good, Duo. I did something...really not good, and I had to have Trowa help me fix it.” 

That did it. Something was wrong. This wasn’t just a case of Eli feeling guilty about not showing up. There was something else going on, the distress rolling off my lover in waves. I sat up, reaching out to rest my hand on his knee, barely able to reach him from where I was. 

“What happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Now I was really worried, a note of hysteria entering my voice. Eli straightened, putting his back against the chair and taking a deep breath. He tipped his head back to look at the ceiling, eyes full of tears. 

“I’m okay. Physically, anyway. But I--” He bit his lip, keening softly as he avoided my eyes. “You remember I told you I was going to talk to James, right? Well, I did…” Wiggling my way out of bed, I teetered my way over to him, settling on his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck, stroking his hair back from his face. He reached for me mutely, eyes red-rimmed with misery, clinging to me tightly. His fingers dug into my lower back as his breath hitched again, body trembling.

“Eli?” I pressed a kiss to his temple. “Eli, babe, it’s okay. It’s okay.” 

“I--I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, but…” Eli pulled back, looking around to make sure we were alone, and then he put his lips to my ear. “I--I killed him. I killed him, Duo. I didn’t mean to. I just...lost control and I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me. I didn’t mean to. It was an accident.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Eli--my Eli--had killed someone? I didn’t think I’d heard him right, fingers tightening in his hair as I swallowed hard. 

“You killed him?” It was hesitant. I wet my lips and tried again. “How--why--I don’t understand.” Sighing, I went back to stroking his hair, changing my focus. He was upset, and I wanted to be there for him. He’d been there for me through this whole ordeal. The only thing keeping me going somedays was Eli. And now--well, now it was my turn. “It’s okay. I don’t hate you. I could never hate you, my heart.” 

There was a wet, gasping breath, Eli’s eyes wide. He was crying as he looked at me, the tears streaming down his face. 

“I had to have Trowa come help me with the body because I didn’t know what to do. I was only just going to talk to him. I was only just going to talk, I swear, but I couldn’t--” He closed his eyes, trembling uncontrollably as the stream of babble cut off. “I couldn’t look at him without seeing what he did to you, and I just wanted him to shut up, so I wrapped my hands around his neck and I squeezed until he stopped…” Biting his lip, he opened his eyes again, looking blankly at me. “And when I let go, he wasn’t breathing anymore.” 

“You--you killed him because of me?” I felt hot, my cheeks flushed as I cradled his face, wiping away his tears with my thumbs. I didn’t know what to say. How could anyone? Eli’d killed someone, because of me. For me, it sounded like, and while I knew I was supposed to be upset, I wasn’t. I wasn’t upset at all, stroking the back of Eli’s neck. There was a dark part in me that said James got exactly what was coming to him, and it revelled in the knowledge that he was gone. There was nothing of him left, and he could never hurt anyone else again. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have...I shouldn’t have done it. I didn’t think. I thought I could handle it, but I was just so angry.” Eli pressed his face to my neck, drawing me back to reality in a heartbeat. I cradled him close to my chest, stroking his hair and kissing the top of his head. “I’m so sorry, Duo.” 

“It’s okay, my heart. It’s okay. I’m not mad. Not at all,” I laughed, biting my lip. In fact, I was almost elated, kneading his scalp as I watched him, eyes soft. 

“Really? You don’t--you don’t think I’m a bad person?” Eli shook his head, his voice hoarse. “I’ve never been violent with anyone in my life. I just…” He looked down. “I don’t wanna be...that, you know? I don’t want you to think I’m a bad person, because I feel like one right now.” Out of the two of us, I was fairly sure I was the bad person. I didn’t feel bad that James was dead, and I didn’t feel bad that Eli had done it. The man who’d attacked me was gone, dumped somewhere by my boyfriend. That was safety. That was something I could wrap around myself at night, when the dreams got bad. 

“Eli…” I started, cupping his cheeks and pouring all of my adoration in to one look. “You killed someone for me. Because they hurt me.” I bit my lip, suddenly feeling shy. “I’m--I’m as far from angry as I think I could ever be, and I certainly don’t think you’re a bad person.” The relief on his face tore at my heart. He really thought I wouldn’t love him anymore. He’d thought this would change things. And maybe it did, but not how he was expecting. It only made me love him more, only made us closer. He’d promised to take care of it, and he had. No matter how he’d meant it. 

Settled there on his lap, stroking his hair, I listened as he poured himself out for me. My lover knew how hard it was for me to be the one in the hospital bed, but it had been hard for him too, something he could tell me now. Overwhelmed with love, all I could do was listen. Run my fingers through his hair and over his cheeks, watching his face as he spoke. A tension I hadn’t known was there eased, our affection easy, full of tender touches as we soothed each other. My Casanova was dealing with this just as much as I was, and opening to each other offered a release I hadn’t expected, the two of us trading easy kisses as we sat there, our conversation soon returning to something a little more normal.

“Have you heard anything else about when you get to go home?”

“Oh!” I gave him a sheepish look, nodding. “That’s part of why I was so angry with you...I get to go home tomorrow. They told me last night, and I wanted to celebrate.” I laughed, shaking my head. “It seems silly now.” 

“Really? Duo, that's not silly at all! That’s great. This is great news.” He beamed at me. “I don’t blame you for being upset, though. You didn’t know what was happening. I should have made sure you knew I wasn’t coming, but I was just...there was a lot going on.” There was a soft laugh. “Trowa got me drunk afterward.” 

“Oh? Just drunk?” I couldn’t help but tease back, laughing as well. “Trowa’s good at that.” 

“Well...drunk and stoned. It was the good stuff. I needed it.” Eli ran his hands up and down my back, pressing a kiss to my neck. I could feel him hesitate as I rested against him, fingers buried in his hair. “Do you wanna come home with me? Because you can, you know. I cleared it with Luke, and he’s okay with it. You can stay with me as long as you like.” 

“I--I can? Really?” I pulled back to stare at him, eyes wide. I didn’t know what to say. It never occured to me that I didn’t have to go home with Solo. That I had somewhere else to go. Throwing my arms around Eli’s neck, I peppered his face with kisses. “Yes. Yes.” 

“You can come home with me, and we can celebrate,” his smile was broad, green eyes warm. “We can celebrate however you want. If you have any ideas, let me know so I can start getting things ready for you. I’ll have weed, of course. And plenty of alcohol.” There was a pause, his expression turning thoughtful. “Is there anything you...shouldn't be doing for a while once you get home? I know you’re still healing.” I burst into laughter. 

“Are you asking me if I shouldn’t be fucking?” Waggling my eyebrows at him, I bit my lip, swallowing another round of laughter. “I’ll ask next time the doctor’s in here.” 

“Not just fucking. I mean, that’s part of it, but--” He snorted, rolling his eyes. “I know your ribs are probably sore, and I just wanna make sure I don’t hurt you. Doing anything.” He ran his eyes over me, clearing his throat. It was a tell I was coming to know well, something that meant a question he felt awkward about was coming. “Do you--do you even want to? And I do mean fucking this time. I just--want to make sure I’m not overstepping any boundaries.”

“Eli,” I heaved an exasperated sigh. “If I could find a way to go about my life and spend every waking moment in bed with you, I would be the happiest person in the world.” Biting my lip, I let my own pause fill the silence. “I don’t...know if it’ll be easy. The doctor mentioned--flashbacks. But I do want to. I want you.” I swallowed. “I’ve missed feeling you in me.” It surprised me how much I’d missed it. I’d expected to not want it. I’d expected to hate being touched at all. And maybe I would’ve, if I hadn’t had my family so close at hand. If I hadn’t been hugged and kissed and held since the moment I’d woken up, still in so much pain I could barely think. I’d been surrounded by people who loved me, who cared about me, and that had obviously made a difference. 

“Oh yeah?” The look my lover shot me was hooded, eyes full of heat as he teased his nails over my lower back. I arched into his touch with a shudder and whine, teeth grazing his jaw. “I’ve missed it too, kitten. I’ve missed you so much. I want to take you to bed, and I don't want to let you leave it. Ever.” 

“I think about it all the time,” I admitted, pressing closer to him. “If I’m cleared for sex, I might make you follow through on that promise.” His mouth was a brand on my jaw, sucking lightly at my skin as his teeth grazed it, a light tease. I wanted more. More than just a few stolen kisses, teasing words in a cramped hospital chair. I wanted things to go back to normal. To spend my nights in my lover’s arms without pain, drunk on pleasure and love. For the first time in a long time, it felt like a possibility, Eli’s hips rolling teasingly against mine. 

“We should stop. I--I don't know if I can do this, and I won’t be able to stop if we keep going,” I panted the words, brushing our lips together and dipping my tongue into his mouth. He was barely listening, licking back at me and teasing his fingers against the waistband of my pants, stroking the skin. 

“I was just going to--damn. You’re right. We should stop.” He had the audacity to flash me a grin. “I know your self-control is awful. And the nurse could come in at any time.” Patting my ass affectionately, he kissed my cheek. “Get back in bed, kitten. Lots to look forward to.” I whined, but obeyed, sliding off his lap. He had his own groan to protest that, sighing heavily. Making my way unsteadily to bed, I climbed back in, settling back amongst the sheets and blankets as he watched me with a smile. 

“I can’t wait to get out of here. I want to take a bath. A nice, hot bubble bath. For years and years and years.” 

“Oh?” Eli stretched out in the chair, kicking his feet up on the end of the bed as he reclined. “Shall I leave you and your bubble bath to it, then? I can just hang back, make sure you have enough wine while you’re in there.” 

“Oh no. You’re getting in, too. It wouldn’t be the same without you.” I smiled, eyes sparkling as I looked over at him, turning on to my side carefully. “As much as I’d love to have you at my beck and call.” 

“There will be plenty of me being at your beck and call. Don’t worry about that.” He watched me for a few moments, his eyelids slipping shut, then snapping open. My Casanova’d had a rough night, and it was starting to show, even as he sat up, rubbing a hand over his face. “Would you hate me if I went home for a while? I’m still exhausted from last night, and a little hungover.” He shot me a small smirk. “And I want to start getting things ready for you, since you’ll be there tomorrow night.” 

“I would never hate you,” I promised, reaching for his hand and kissing the back of it. “Go home, my heart. Get some sleep. Text me later? And Jake.” I bit my lip, giving him an apologetic look. “He might be angry with you a little.” 

“I will,” he cradled my cheek, leaning in to steal a quick kiss. “I’ll text you when I’m awake. I’m going to want to know what to stock up on. And you--let me know how you make out with the doctor, and what he says, alright?” He sighed as I started giggling again, lips curving in an amused, if weary, smile. 

“How I make out with the doctor? Gosh we’re both backed up, huh?” I couldn’t help but tease. “I will. I’ll make some lists. Think about it.” Leaning in to the hand on my cheek, I kissed his palm. “Love you.” 

“You’re a troublemaker is what you are,” he scolded me, leaning in for another kiss, running his hand over my hair. “I love you too, kitten. Thank you for listening...and understanding. I’m feeling much better. We’ll be okay, you know.” 

“I do. I do know,” I agreed, beaming up at him, then giving him a halfhearted shove to the hip. “I love you. Go sleep. Before I make you stay here.” 

“You do make it hard to leave,” he admitted, green eyes wide, full of an adoration I didn’t feel like I deserved. Like I could ever deserve. Bracing his hand on the pillow, he ran the other down my side, stealing one last kiss. “But I’ll take that as an order.” He stood up, moving backwards towards the door, gaze fixed on me. I watched his every move, laughing as he blew me a kiss from the door. I caught it in my hand, sinking back against the bed as he turned, finally, and left. 

Tomorrow, I’d be leaving with him. And I couldn’t wait.


	27. Eli

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no post! Real life got in the way there for a bit, but we are back, and ready to give you more of your favorite lovebirds being cute and adorable! There are no major warnings for this chapter—it’s just straight up fluff and smut. That’s it. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who’s stuck with us and offered support and encouragement. We really appreciate it!
> 
> <3,   
> Amberly

Looking back on what I’d done, I think I would’ve felt worse about it if Duo hadn’t reacted so favorably. Maybe that sounds bad, but it’s the truth. He’d given me a kind of absolution in his acceptance of James’ murder, his unconditional love something I wasn’t sure I deserved, but couldn’t refuse. I’d never thought it was possible for someone to love me so much, but he did. And I loved him just the same. We were both broken, but it seemed we were broken in all the right places, our jagged edges fitting together as seamlessly as puzzle pieces. The Japanese had a word for something that was all the more beautiful for having been broken, and I couldn’t help but think that maybe that was us.  _ Kintsukuroi _ . 

I wasn’t proud of the crime I’d committed, but knowing I’d made the world a little safer for having done it meant I couldn’t regret it either. Was I struggling with it? Yes. Was I going to have nightmares about it? I already had, and probably would again. Was I going to need therapy? I wasn’t sure yet, and anyway, it wasn’t like I could sit down and tell some random stranger about it. What I’d done was serious. There was no denying that. I’d taken a life. I’d wrapped my hands around some guy’s throat and squeezed until he stopped breathing, something that haunted me and was going to continue to do so for the rest of my days no matter how cavalier I was trying to be about it. If I could take it all back, right from the start (if I could prevent James from attacking Duo in the first place), I would, but I couldn’t, so I’d done the next best thing, in my mind. I had to take responsibility for that.

What it all came down to was that Duo was safe. Duo was safe, and he was coming home from the hospital today, and that was all that mattered. My boyfriend wasn’t going to have to worry about James ever again, and that made it all worth it. He was going to be able to sleep easy now, to smile, to leave the cafe without having to look over his shoulder. He was going to be staying with me for the foreseeable future--forever, I hoped--and the thrill of it made whatever guilt I felt over killing James seem small by comparison. I’d taken care of everything for him, just like I’d said I would.

I’d just finished making space for him in my closet when I heard a car door slam outside. Solo’s exasperated voice soon followed, and I couldn’t help but smile because, as soon as I heard it, I knew Duo was doing something he shouldn’t be--running to the front door, for example. I was there to greet him, throwing it open the moment he knocked, then catching him around the waist, lifting him off his feet and spinning him around in happy circles. He clung to my neck and wrapped his legs around me, squealing delightedly as I buried my face in his neck, inhaling the subtly sexy, sandalwood-and-clean-skin scent of him.

I took care not to squeeze him too tightly as I lifted my head to look at him, grinning helplessly. “Kitten. I’m so happy you’re here.” For the first time in weeks, I felt like everything was going to be alright. That everything was back to where it was supposed to be, where it should’ve been all along. We had a long road of recovery ahead of us, but we had each other. The worst was in the rearview, or at least it would be soon.

“I’m so happy to be here.” He grinned back at me, eyes sparkling, ignoring his long-suffering big brother as he trudged up the walkway, Duo’s bag in hand. 

“Hey, Solo.” Lowering Duo to his feet, I kept him close, arm snug around his shoulders. “Thanks for dropping him off. I can take his stuff off your hands.” I took the bag from him, carefully setting it aside. “He probably shouldn’t be doing any heavy lifting, right?”

Solo rolled his eyes, but deep down I could tell he was just as happy as I was to see his little brother out of the hospital, safe and sound. Maybe there was a part of him that was hesitant to hand him over to me, but I knew he had other things on his mind--his budding relationship with Jake, for example. Considering the responsibilities he had with school and at the cafe, he just didn’t have time to look after Duo too, not the way I did.

“No, he shouldn’t. He also shouldn’t be running or exerting himself.” He glared at Duo, then sighed, lips quirking as he looked at me. “Thanks for taking him. He’ll be happier here.”

I snorted, squeezing Duo against my side with a kiss to the top of his head. “I’ll try to keep the exertion to a minimum.” Duo giggled at that, and I fought not to smile, knowing exactly where his mind was at (because mine was right alongside it). “Thanks for letting him come stay with me. I’m glad to have him here as long as he wants to be.”

Solo nodded, also pretending not to know where his little brother’s thoughts were on the subject of exertion. He rubbed a hand over his face, then pointed at me. “Take care of him.” Ruffling Duo’s hair, he made his way to the door. “And call if you need anything. Goodbye, kitten. Love you.” He winked, then left us standing there, watching him get into his car.

As much as I loved Solo and had come to think of him as a brother, I was glad to see him go. Glad that it was just me and my kitten, alone at last. No beeping machines, no bright lights, no weird smells, no strange voices, no nurses checking his vitals and administering medication every hour. Just us.

“So how does it feel to be a free man, finally?” I teased, closing the door and steering him into the living room with a smile. Duo dropped down onto the couch with a groan, looking tired but pleased. 

“So good,” he admitted. “I still hurt, but it’s better than being in the hospital. And I have meds if I get too anxious or the pain gets too bad.” He slipped off his shoes, then sprawled out lengthwise on the couch and wiggled his toes at me, nails painted a soft, shimmering pink. “Jake helped me shower and washed my hair and did my nails, so I feel extra clean.”

I stood over him, hands on my hips, inspecting him with warm eyes. It felt amazing to see him in my apartment looking like himself again. We’d have to be careful and take it slow until he was back to good, but that was the least of my worries. I’d give him all the time he needed, do whatever he asked me to. I was just over the moon to see him there, looking like something fallen from the heavens, a fallen star spread out over my couch cushions.

“You look good. Like you’re feeling better. And you look very pretty. Jake did a good job.” I grabbed his foot and gave it a tug, playfully nipping his big toe. “So, I think I got everything you asked for, and I did some cleaning. The kitchen’s fully stocked.”

Letting go of his foot, I took a step back and ran my hands through my hair, trying not to appear as unsure as I felt, because my nerves were starting to get the best of me as I stood there. The reality of him being there was finally setting in, and I wasn’t sure what to do next. Honestly, I’d been so focused on getting to this point that I hadn’t thought past it.

I was happy to take care of Duo, but it was a lot of pressure. Mostly, I wanted everything to be perfect for him, and I was worried that it wasn’t, that maybe I’d forgotten something and would end up coming off as a huge disappointment if everything wasn’t  _ just right _ . Ultimately, though, no one was putting as much pressure on me as I was. Duo was someone I could be myself with. He wasn’t going to have the same lofty expectations I was setting for myself, and I needed to remember that. More than anything, Duo was just happy to be here.

He stood and curled his fingers in the bottom of my shirt, rocking forward to kiss my chin as I checked in with him, continuing to ask if he needed anything, wanting to make him feel at home. It didn’t take him long to consider, his response dispelling any doubts I had that just me, and just this, weren’t enough. “I’m okay,” he said. “I’ve got you. What else could I need?” That was all I needed to hear. There was no pressure, the anxiety I’d felt a few minutes earlier already melting away.

I hummed, looking down at him with shining eyes, my hands gliding up his back as I leaned in to nibble at his lower lip, unable to help myself. Having him warm and pliant in my arms was all I’d wanted for so long--it felt good to have that back, finally. “It feels good to be alone with you.” I smoothed a wisp of Duo’s hair back, tucking it into the messy bun he wore. “Really alone.”

He agreed with a shiver that ran through me after it was done with him, brushing his tongue against my mouth and leaning into my hand as I cupped it behind his ear, fingers curling in the loose strands of his hair. “Yeah, it really does.” His expression grew impish as he paused, giving me a chance to guess what was coming next. “And I believe I was promised a bubble bath.”

I’d nearly forgotten about it in my excitement to have him there, but he was right. I had promised him that, and in the interim I’d bought more bubbles than anyone realistically needed. I laughed as I told him so, scooping him into my arms and carrying him into the bathroom, hands on the backs of his thighs.

“There’s lavender and vanilla and eucalyptus spearmint--and a few others, I think.” Gently, I set him down on the toilet, turning to start the water. “I got wine too, but I’m not sure if you should be drinking with the meds you’re on.”

Duo made a face, nose scrunching in a way that made me want to kiss it, and sighed regretfully. “No, probably not. It’ll take a day or two for everything to clear my system.” He perked again as I rummaged around under the sink, letting the water run and taking out the bottles of bubbles I’d mentioned. “Oh, lavender sounds nice.” Lavender it was.

I poured a generous amount of pale purple bubbles into the bath and started to strip as they foamed, conscious of his eyes on me all the while. I’d missed that feeling. Missed us just being together, the electricity of wanting each other all the time. I was glad that hadn’t changed, even after everything. The passion between us was still alive, and I could feel the charge of it in the air, see it in the curve of his lips as our eyes met. “God, all of that is mine,” Duo purred, openly ogling me as I stood shirtless in front of him, fingers moving to the button on my jeans. “Oops. Did I say that out loud?” He giggled, eyes sparkling, and I knew he wasn’t sorry. Not at all. Nor did I want him to be.

Laughing, I decided to tease him a little, tugging my zipper down deliberately slowly. “Every inch, kitten.” Standing in front of him in just my boxer briefs, I cradled his jaw in my hand and rubbed my thumb against his lower lip, thinking thoughts about that mouth I’d indulged only in private lately, and not without a twinge of guilt. It hadn’t seemed right, fantasizing about fucking my boyfriend while he was laid up in a hospital bed recovering from sexual assault. Confident that he was thinking along the same lines as I was, I didn’t feel so bad about it anymore. Normalcy. It was what he needed, and I wanted to give it to him by any means necessary.

“You need some help? Because I’m more than happy to oblige.” I ran my eyes over him, wanting my meaning to be clear.

Duo leaned into my hand, curling his tongue around my thumb in a way that told me he knew exactly what I meant. “Hmm. You know, I do feel kind of weak.” So did I.

Kneeling in front of him, I framed his face in both hands, drawing him into a thorough, unhurried kiss, leisurely licking against his tongue, savoring an intimacy I’d been longing for, the feeling of his hand in my hair anchoring me as he leaned into it. All was quiet, the white noise of rushing water drowning everything else out, making me forget the world outside. It was warm, private, and cozy. It felt natural, normal, a simple pleasure I’d missed more than anything. Being with him like this was all I wanted out of life. I pulled back to look at him with hooded eyes.

“Let’s get you undressed then. Arms up?”

I helped undress him and got him into the bath with minimal fuss, then climbed in behind him. Almost all evidence of the attack was gone by now. His movements were still a little stiff, and I could tell from his hitched breaths when something hurt, but, for the most part, he was as good as new. Mostly, it was his ribs that were tender, and I took care not to jostle them as I spread my legs to either side of him, kissing his shoulder and running my hands over his stomach, guiding him back to recline against my chest. 

We talked, taking pleasure in each other’s company, expressing how happy we were to be together again, already starting to make plans for the future. I told him that, in addition to the bubbles, I’d also bought massage oils, offering a nice, long rubdown after we done soaking. Unsurprisingly, he liked the idea, our touches turning playful as he turned to straddle my lap, water sloshing against the sides of the tub. Grinning, I scooped up a handful of bubbles and started to give him a beard, carefully sculpting as we discussed his decision to take time off school. 

“Does this mean we can bump up our travel plans?” I bit my lip to keep from laughing at how ridiculous he looked as he gave me a bubble beard of my own. It tickled, my nose wrinkling as I fought not to squirm, hands on his waist. “I don’t wanna piss off your brother by taking off right away, so maybe we wait a couple weeks?”

Duo wasn’t thrilled about taking time off school, but we both agreed it was the best thing for him--for right now, anyway. “That’s what I was thinking.” He grinned. “That we could travel. We can spend the next two or three weeks planning. I have a follow-up in fifteen days, and if the doctor clears me...I can go anywhere.”

It was music to my ears. Two weeks was a decent amount of time to plan. We could travel in the van by day, sleep under the stars at night. At this point, I think we both needed to get out of the city for a while. A change of perspective seemed like the best way to put everything behind us, and what better way to do that than with a cross-country road trip?

Our conversation turned to a more delicate topic as we finished up in the bath. Both thoroughly pruned, I helped him out of the tub, crouching to dry him off. Duo was relaxed and ready for my hands, which made me wonder exactly how much he was okay with me doing with those hands. I hesitated as I looked up at him. “Speaking of hands, that reminds me. What did the doctor say about having sex?” I bit my lip, hoping it wasn’t too soon to ask. At any rate, it was a discussion we needed to have. I didn’t want to hurt him, or do something to scare or trigger him in any way.

“Not that we have to,” I amended before he could answer. “I just--it would be good to know. I was so busy getting things ready for you last night that I forgot to ask.” I shot him a sheepish smile, briskly rubbing myself down with a clean towel. 

Duo looked amused by the question. “Well…” He stood and stretched, taking the towel I’d given him to his hair. “Obviously, I have to be careful. Rib injuries are pretty dangerous...but as long as we’re careful...and not rough...I’m okay for sex.” He had the audacity to wink at me. God, I was so glad to see him back. 

Hearing it confirmed put me at ease, the tension I’d been holding dissipating as I followed him down the hall, eyes glued to his swaying hips. He was doing it deliberately, smirking at me over his shoulder as we went, knowing I couldn’t look anywhere else. I’d follow him into hell if he led me there. I hoped he knew it, and I was sure he did.

“We can try if you want,” I wet my lips, voice suspiciously husky as I tried to keep a lid on my rising desire. “No pressure or anything. How about we start with that rubdown and see how it goes, hmm?” I smiled. I wasn’t tense anymore, but I  _ was _ nervous. I’d gone a little overboard with the preparations for Duo’s arrival, opening the bedroom door on a space dimly lit with candles and fragrant with incense. And that wasn’t all I had for him, if he wanted it.

I stepped aside and let Duo go ahead of me, hearing his breath hitch as he caught sight of what I’d done. Stepping up behind him, I grabbed his hips and pulled him back against my chest, chin nestled on his shoulder. “Welcome home, Duo.” I whispered it against his neck, lips curved. Duo craved romance. At heart, he was just like me that way. I’d found a reflection of myself in him; it was almost too much, seeing my deepest desires laid bare before me when I looked at him. At any rate, I hadn’t done this with the hope for congratulations or thanks, but to let him know that he was worthy of romance, even after what he’d been through.  _ Especially _ after what he’d been through. Nothing had to change between us. He was still the same man I’d fallen in love with. I loved him the same way I always had...and always would.

Duo set his hands on top of mine and linked our fingers, silent for a while as he stared into the depths of the room, candlelight flickering over every reflective surface, giving our silhouettes to us in the mirror across the way. We were one shadow, one being, blending seamlessly into one another. It was fitting. I could see his lower lip tremble, voice soft and wondering. “Oh, Eli. This is beautiful.” Overwhelming him wasn’t part of the plan, but it was kind of inevitable for what I had in mind. I wanted him to have a memorable homecoming, something he’d remember for the rest of his life.

“Do you like it?” I kissed his jaw and bumped my nose against it, nuzzling behind his ear, and then I drew back, taking his hand and leading him to the bed. Usually, I didn’t bother to make it, but today I had. The sheets were clean, all my clothes in drawers, my guitar tucked neatly in the corner, and my pipe put away. The room was immaculate, signifying a fresh start. “I want things to be perfect for you. I wanted this to be special. I got some lavender oil to go with the bubble bath.” I smiled at that, shy and crooked. I think we were both nervous, knowing there was nothing ordinary about this. He could feel it the same as I could, our emotions in tune.

“I love it,” he breathed, kissing the back of my hand, then stretched out on the bed, pillowing his head on his crossed arms. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.” I saw him swallow. “That sounds nice.”

Moving to the other side of the room, I turned on some music, a quiet classical piece with strings and violins, recommended to me by Luke. With the oil in my hands, I knelt beside him on the bed, starting to spread it over his back. “So, I had a few thoughts. Some things we could do while traveling, maybe? If you wanted to. I mean, it might be crazy, but you can always tell me if it is.” 

Duo pressed into my hands with a purr, then looked back at me, cracking an eye open. “Yeah? What were you thinking?”

I stopped kneading, careful not to press too hard on his ribs as my thumbs stroked his skin, hands wrapped around his lower back. “Well, uh…” I swallowed hard, voice wavering, almost too soft to hear as I went on. “I was thinking…” Clearing my throat, I spoke up. My hands had started to shake almost as badly as my voice. “Maybe we could...maybe we could get married?” Exhaling, I bowed my head. As far as proposals went, it wasn’t much, but I didn’t want him to feel pressured. “I know it probably sounds crazy...”

Duo went stiff under me. I went rigid too, staring at him with wide eyes. What if this was it? What if he said no? What if he wasn’t ready? It was impossible to tell what he was thinking. I was fairly confident that he hadn’t changed his mind about me, but marriage was a big step, one he might not be ready for. I had to be prepared for any eventuality, even if it broke my heart. 

“You--” His eyes had gone from half-closed to startlingly wide, face flushed dark as he looked at me, as if he couldn’t quite believe it. I couldn’t either. I had a ring. It was one I’d had for awhile, a simple silver band I’d gone out and bought while he’d been in the hospital, but I hadn’t made the decision to actually ask until I’d seen him lying there, stretched out on my bed, so trusting of me, still wanting me, even after everything. “You wanna get married?” His voice cracked, breath hitching. “To me?”

I turned him over so I could look at him, straddling his hips with infinite care. “I do.” Taking his hands, I twined our fingers together and brought them to my lips, pressing kiss after kiss to his fine-boned knuckles. “I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you more than anything.” Releasing his hands, I fumbled in the bedside drawer and brought out the ring. It was simple, like I said, a silver band inlaid with three small purple stones, but it’d do for now. I held it up for him to see and wet my lips, the lower one quivering. “I’m saving up for something better. But I wanted you to have this for now. If you want it.”

Mouth dropped open, Duo stared first at me, then at the ring. “Eli.” His eyes filled with tears, lashes clumping, and I knew in that moment there was nothing to fear. He wasn’t about to say no, not with that look on his face. My heart soared, any doubts or hesitation I felt erased in the space of an instant. “Oh god, it’s--it’s perfect.” He let out a watery laugh, eyes crinkling. “God, I want that too. I wanna be with you forever. This is--it’s perfect. I love it.”

I laughed too, voice cracking as I beamed at him, my own eyes full. “It’s not good enough for you.” I shook my head, adamant. “Nothing is. But this is what I could afford right now.” Taking his hand, I slid the band onto his finger, stroking it with my thumb as he continued to repeat himself, insisting that it was perfect until I believed it. We looked down at our joined hands in silence and awe, admiring the ring and how it looked on him. I was so overwhelmed I hardly knew what to say. It took me a minute to find my voice.

“It looks perfect on you. I’m so glad you said yes.” Pausing, I shot him a sheepish smile, gaze darting between his face and the ring. “You  _ are _ saying yes, right? But then I suppose I haven’t asked you properly.” I took a deep breath and said the words slowly, deliberate and significant, our eyes red-rimmed, our hands clasped tight.

“Duo Maxwell, will you marry me? Will you take me, Elijah Elliott, as your lawfully wedded husband?” 

He pulled me down against him and slid his arms around my shoulders, fingers carding through my hair. “Yes.” I felt him shudder against me, could hear the laughter in his voice, how overjoyed he was to say it. I was just as overjoyed to hear it, my hands moving down his ribcage, stroking his hips. “Yes, I’ll marry you. I want to.”

“Good.” I sniffed, clinging to him as tears streamed down my cheeks, pooling in his collarbone. “Some of our friends might think it’s too early, which is why I was thinking maybe we could do it just the two of us, on our travels. And then, when we come back, I’ll make sure you get the best, most romantic wedding with all our friends and family.”

Mostly, I was worried about what Solo was going to think. By this point, I knew I had big brother’s blessing, but marriage was still a big deal. I didn’t know how he’d feel about it, and I definitely didn’t want him or anyone else influencing this decision for us. We were going to do it our way, our thoughts on elopement in perfect harmony as we made our plans, tentative for now, in hushed voices, happy tears drying on our cheeks. We had a lot to decide, including where and when to go, but we had plenty of time, and I couldn’t have been happier. 

“I love you,” Duo said. There was so much love in his gaze I thought I’d burst with it. “I don’t care how soon it is. I feel like--like I’ve waited my whole life for you. And I’m not letting you go. Not for anything.” His hands were in my hair, one sweeping down my spine as he kissed me, tongue stroking through my mouth in a way that felt like being claimed. I had no complaints.

I was his. I was his and he was mine. We were two halves of the same whole and every other cliche in the book. We were soulmates, and nothing was going to part us, or come between us, or make us love each other any less. This was forever. This was as real as it got, and I felt startlingly alive in the face of it. I’d never felt so anchored, so vibrantly in my own skin. 

“I love you,” I gasped against his mouth. “I love you so much. And I don’t wanna be away from you. Ever. My kitten. My love.” Sighing into the kiss, I grabbed his lower lip with my teeth, biting down and sucking softly, hips rolling down against him, slow and tentative. Earlier, Duo had said he was cleared for sex, but I still wanted to be careful. Wanted to make sure that he wanted this. 

He didn’t utter a word of protest, only lifted his hips against mine and cupped my ass, rolling against me with a moan. “All yours. Eli.”

Growling against his mouth, I rocked our hips together a little more firmly, cock swelling at the contact. The friction was delicious, had me panting as I thrust against him, his cock rubbing up against mine. We were newly engaged, and I was desperate, wanting him so damn bad it hurt. 

“Let me take care of you, kitten.” I brushed his lower lip with my tongue, then slowly made my way down his body, kissing his inner thigh as I settled between his legs, resting my weight on my elbows and looking up at him with hooded eyes. 

“You always take care of me, Daddy.” His legs parted easily for me, nothing but desire in his eyes as he looked at me, bucking toward my mouth. 

I drew his legs over my shoulders, hands stroking his hips and stomach as I bent my head and ran my tongue up the crease of his thigh, pressing a soft, sucking kiss to the skin. “You tell me if something hurts or doesn’t feel good, okay?” Panting, I curled my tongue around the base of his cock, watching him arch.

“I will.” 

With his hands in my hair, I slid a hand up his chest to toy with a nipple, teasing it to hardness. “Missed this. Missed seeing you in my bed with your head thrown back, just like that.” Licking my way up the length of his cock--every inch of him gorgeous, hairless, and smooth--I drew the tip into my mouth, suckling him with a moan. Delicious. I’d missed the taste of him, the feel of him in my mouth, heavy and hard on my tongue. 

Duo responded with enthusiasm, pulling my hair with his nails against my scalp. Honestly, I didn’t mind the sting. It reminded me that I was alive, that we were here together, again, at long last. His hips rolled as he gave himself up to my mouth, thighs tense, trembling around my ears as I continued to suck him, taking him deeper, tongue plastered to his flesh, cheeks hollow around him. 

“Please!” He keened, shuddering hard, his body a live wire, crackling under my hands. “Please, Eli. Want you.” I didn’t know how to say no to him. He needed this more than I did. With a growl, I pulled his hips tight against my mouth and swallowed around him, then sat back, lips swollen as they slid off his cock. The lube was in my hands, on my fingers in the next instant as I ran them between his thighs, pressed them slick against his entrance and slowly started to rub.

My touch went through him like an electric shock. His body jerked as he rode back against my fingers, mouth seeking mine. Licking against my tongue, he whined, begging me again, telling me how much he wanted me. He felt so good, and I only had my fingers in him, pumping them slowly and shallowly, adding a second, then a third, as I kissed him, my cock hard against his thigh. I could only imagine how much better he was going to feel once I was actually inside him. 

“Please,” he cried again. “Want you so bad.”

I finished stretching him and laid a finger against his lips, quieting him. “Shh. Let Daddy take care of you, kitten. Trust me. I know what you need.” I settled on my heels and wrapped my hand around my cock as I watched him, slicking it with lube. His legs were spread, cheeks rosy, pupils blown, hair spread on the pillow. His body had taken a beating, but he was still ready for me, and I was more emotional about it than I’d thought I would be. “My beautiful boy. Mine.”

Snatching his lips in a fierce kiss, I held his thighs and slowly thrust into him with the reverence he deserved, growling at the sheer perfection of it, his body sheathing my cock like I’d never left. Duo cried out, hooking his leg around my hip and clinging to my arms, his moan like a hot knife sliding between my ribs, driving deep into my heart. I nipped his chin as he tossed his head back, hips stuttering as I rolled against him, bottoming out and unable to go any further.

“Fuck. Eli.” He touched my cheek, trembling as I twisted my hips and ran a hand up his side, the other braced beside his head. “Love you.” He met my thrusts easily as I turned my head, kissing his fingertips.

Resting our foreheads together, I moaned. “I love you. You’re so good. Such a good boy. My good boy.” I ran my fingers over his neck, nosing at his jaw and snapping into him, harder and faster with every thrust. “Fuck--feels like it’s been forever.”

He agreed with a breathless nod. He felt like velvet on my cock as I slowed, fucking into him lazily, teeth scraping the edge of his jaw. “Yours. Your good boy, Daddy. God.” His touch was heaven, one hand in my hair, the other clawing at my back as he mouthed at my temple and cheek.

I continued to croon in his ear, torso gliding against his, sleek with sweat. “Good boy.” Letting my head fall back, I groaned, watching him from under my lashes as I took his cock in hand. I kept my strokes loose and languid, matching the pace of my hips as I twisted them against him. He writhed, mindless and ecstatic, toes curling against the back of my thigh. “You wanna come for me, kitten?” I wanted to take him apart, piece by piece, and I wanted to watch him while I did it. And once I’d done that, I wanted to put him back together again. He was so close already, lips parted, back bowed, out of his mind with pleasure, and I reveled in the sheer carnality of it.

“Yeah, I wanna come for you, Daddy. Please.” His eyes were dark, hands tight on my shoulders, nails scoring my skin. I was on fire for him, letting the flames devour me as I sped up, gathering him into my arms and onto my lap. I twisted my hips and thrust up hard, hand tightening on his cock, the other supporting his lower back. He was dripping pre-come, making the passage easier as I stroked him.

“Come for me, Duo.” 

He came with a cry, spilling between our bodies. His come was hot, spattering my chest and sliding down my stomach, settling in the crease of my hips and thighs. It was perfection. He was the most erotic thing I’d ever seen as he surrendered to it, head thrown back, mouth open, body bucking wildly, so tight on my cock I almost couldn’t breathe. I released his cock and fucked him through it with a whine, grinding up against him in quick, tight circles. “That’s it. That’s my boy.”

Head falling forward, I mouthed at his shoulder, trembling, so close to release I couldn’t stand it. And then I came too, lips at his neck, teeth closing on his flesh as I cried out, vision black, stars exploding behind my eyes. Hips tight against his ass, I filled him, claiming every inch of him as mine, and then I slumped, cupping the nape of his neck, thumb stroking the skin. His name on my lips, I took a few moments to catch my breath, and he did the same, our bodies plastered together with semen and sweat. Nothing had ever felt so good, or could even come close.

It didn’t take long for us to collapse on top of the covers, trading adoring gazes. We touched with wandering hands and stared for what felt like ages, amazed at how it felt to be together again. It was our safe place, this sanctuary we’d found in each other. We were lost in one another, and it felt like coming home, as natural as it had always been. I hadn’t expected it--honestly, I hadn’t known  _ what _ to expect--but it was good to know that some things hadn’t changed. That no one could take this away from us.

“Do we want to keep it a secret?” His voice was husky, his hand on my chest, my hand curled around his. He beamed at me, legs tangled with mine in twisted sheets. “Until we come back married?”

My other arm around his shoulders, I kissed his temple and pulled back to grin at him, eyes sparkling. “Yeah. That’ll make it more fun, don’t you think? Besides, you know Jake would never let you get married without him, and this way...we’ll have something that’s...that’s just ours, you know?” I poked him in the shoulder, smile turning teasing. “The real question is: can  _ you _ keep it secret?”

He giggled. “I can. I absolutely can.” Nuzzling my jaw, he sighed. “It’ll kill me to not wear the ring, but I can absolutely keep it secret until we get back. Anything for you.”

With that, we were agreed. We were running off to Las Vegas to get married in two weeks’ time, or thereabouts--because if we were going to elope, there was no place else it could be. Maybe we’d leave Elvis out of the equation, but we’d see how we felt when we got there. I didn’t care. Everything else was negotiable just as long as I got to marry him.

“I love that you’re mine,” I murmured against his lips as we settled down for the night. “And I can’t wait to marry you.” 

“I can’t wait either. I get to keep you...forever.” Duo hummed against my mouth, lips curved in a delirious smile, hands sliding into my hair. Forever was a promise. Some part of me had known it from the moment we’d met. Loving him was what I’d been put on this earth for. Call it destiny, call it fate, call it what you will. I didn’t want anything more.

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning Notes: While we have not written out the scene were one character is attacked, we have written the scenes after, with the character in the hospital recovery, and later dealing with their trauma. This was part of our original RP, and while we discussed cutting it, in the end it was too formative to the relationship. We have been very careful to keep things both clinical and vague, and to focus more on a) the trauma and recovery and b) the love and support provided by other characters. There is no explicit assault in this fic. 
> 
> There is also discussion of both the death of a child (past death), the death of a parent (again, past death), and homophobic and abusive parents. These are mentioned as past events, and again, the focus in on the characters and how they've dealt with the trauma. There is nothing present and explicit in this fic, but we didn't want to leave out the warning in case it was an issue. 
> 
> The last thing: there is a murder in this fic, and it is supported by not only the characters, but the writers as well. While the murder itself is not shown, the cleaning up and aftermath is. Again, this was something we did not cut as it lead to such strengthening of bonds between characters. Cutting it felt wrong. You'll see when you get there.


End file.
